Maria Semple

a novel

Where'd you go, Bernadette

A misanthropic matriarch leaves her eccentric family in crisis when she mysteriously disappears in this "whip-smart and divinely funny" novel that inspired the movie starring Cate Blanchett (New York Times). Bernadette Fox is notorious. To her Microsoft-guru husband, she's a fearlessly opinionated partner; to fellow private-school mothers in Seattle, she's a disgrace; to design mavens, she's a revolutionary architect; and to 15-year-old Bee, she is her best friend and, simply, Mom. Then Bernadette vanishes. It all began when Bee aced her report card and claimed her promised reward: a family trip to Antarctica. But Bernadette's intensifying allergy to Seattle -- and people in general -- has made her so agoraphobic that a virtual assistant in India now runs her most basic errands. A trip to the end of the earth is problematic. To find her mother, Bee compiles email messages, official documents, and secret correspondence -- creating a compulsively readable and surprisingly touching novel about misplaced genius and a mother and daughter's role in an absurd world.

A Novel

Where'd You Go, Bernadette

I found and read this book because of the premise of the story of a woman's architect. Instead, I found more than just a woman's architect story. It's a mom-and-daughter relationship, it's about motherhood, and so much more. 

Maria

tuna

JoAnna

Maria Semple is an immensely talented writer. Where'd You Go, Bernadette is smart, snarky, and so dramatic it verges on satire. I definitely think using letters and documents to reveal the novel's events added velocity to the storytelling. I adored Semple's voice and found her characters charming; I finished the book in three days.

Bernadette is sarcastic, misanthropic, and very, very judgmental, yet in the first half of the novel, Semple gives ample reasons to root for her: (view spoiler)[ the other mothers treat her like shit, so she has license to hate them back. She hates Seattle. She didn't move here by choice—so she's allowed to complain about it. She built and lost her work, so she refuses to fix her house. She miscarried, many times. She's unable to make friends, so ultimately she shuts out everyone.  (hide spoiler)] I found Bernadette immediately sympathetic and her daughter Bee a pleasant narrator. The snarkiness in the letters is funny and engaging.

I had trouble with Bee's voice, which was inconsistent. She's fifteen, but she can't decide if she's a prodigy (using words like "sentry", etc.) or someone much younger. I don't think a 15 y/o would use the word "babyish." Her voice also shifted a bit between the first and second halves of the novel, and it threw me. (view spoiler)[ Bee often doesn't shed much light on her emotions pre-Antartica, but her tone is optimistic. In the latter half, Bee is just as judgmental and snarky as her mother. (hide spoiler)] There were also instances where I felt like the author was rhapsodizing too much & it didn't add much to the story. And holy shit, (view spoiler)[Elgin's affair made me SO angry. (hide spoiler)]

Overall, this book is definitely worth a read. It's the elite tech world meets smart misanthrope meets The Bachelor, which makes for an entertaining mix.

Bernadette Fox is notorious. To her Microsoft-guru husband, she's a fearlessly opinionated partner; to fellow private-school mothers in Seattle, she's a disgrace; to design mavens, she's a revolutionary architect, and to 15-year-old Bee, she is a best friend and, simply, Mom. Then Bernadette disappears. It began when Bee aced her report card and claimed her promised reward: a family trip to Antarctica. But Bernadette's intensifying allergy to Seattle--and people in general--has made her so agoraphobic that a virtual assistant in India now runs her most basic errands. A trip to the end of the earth is problematic. To find her mother, Bee compiles email messages, official documents, secret correspondence--creating a compulsively readable and touching novel about misplaced genius and a mother and daughter's role in an absurd world.

Maui S.

It did pick up during the other half but I just felt that the first part was dragging and I didn't understand why I was reading it in the first place.

Laura Mauler

A private school rebranding to attract richer parents, a husband who works at a major tech company, constant dissatisfaction with one's city that quickly escalates to rage upon leaving the house - yeah, I identified with this book.

Greycen Ferguson

Such a funny book! Quick read and a page turner. Loved it!

(Bre)anne✨

*Soon to be a major motion picture starring Cate Blanchett* A whip-smart, hysterical dramedy about a family in crisis after the disappearance of its brilliant, misanthropic matriarch. Bernadette Fox is notorious. To her Microsoft-guru husband, she's a fearlessly opinionated partner; to fellow private-school mothers in Seattle, she's a disgrace; to design mavens, she's a revolutionary architect, and to 15-year-old Bee, she is a best friend and, simply, Mom. Then Bernadette disappears. It began when Bee aced her report card and claimed her promised reward: a family trip to Antarctica. But Bernadette's intensifying allergy to Seattle--and people in general--has made her so agoraphobic that a virtual assistant in India now runs her most basic errands. A trip to the end of the earth is problematic. To find her mother, Bee compiles email messages, official documents, secret correspondence--creating a compulsively readable and touching novel about misplaced genius and a mother and daughter's role in an absurd world.

Lara Engle

Okay, so the people in this book are pretty much all terrible. Even Bee, Bernadette's daughter (who is very much the best person in the book), is sometimes terrible. But I still really enjoyed this book. At some points, I thought Bernadette was the person I would become if I had tons of money and relatively little responsibility. She's wacky, creative, fun, and often selfish. But I love her despite any flaws. If you're looking for a quirky, entertaining, absurd family drama, this is the book for you.

Patricia Nelson

Easy read, be careful about assumptions; being yourself and being accepted for who you really are.

Lauren Grey

I LOVED BERNADETTE FOX!! 

Bernadette was an absolutely fantastic character and the book isn't even in her point of view. She made me laugh and she made me want to cry. She was eccentric, maybe crazy, but has good intentions. She was incredibly cheeky as well (hence the quote at the top).

"What you've heard about the rain: it's all true. So you'd think it would become part of the fabric, especially among the lifers. But every time it rains, and you have to interact with someone, here's what they'll say: "Can you believe the weather?" And you want to say, "Actually, I can believe the weather. What I can't believe is that I'm actually having a conversation about the weather." But I don't say that..." -Bernadette

See she is absolutely wonderful and says exactly how I feel. Above all of her other fun qualities, I can also see parts of myself in her. 

"Getting into fights with people makes my heart race. Not getting into fights with people makes my heart race. Even sleeping makes my heart race!" -Bernadette

This book started out a little iffy for me. I had trouble getting into the format of the book. If you don't know, it is written in a weird form involving a slight narrative from the daughter Bee and then a mix of reports, letters, and notes. I didn't know any of the characters in the beginning and didn't understand what was going on, so I felt a bit lost. I wasn't sure if I would continue, but it was so highly recommended that I pushed through and started to love it about 50 pages in. 

I am not big on comedy, but I'll admit that this book was hilarious!! I laughed out loud so many times. You could really see the characters (more like cartoons in my mind) playing out these events and it is just too funny. 

By the end I was attached to Bernadette and the family. I felt for them and how they each viewed their current situations. I did love the ending as well. I won't lie, some parts are kind of slow, but the overall story stole my heart! Great and original read!!

Colleen

1 Star
 
*A self-aware, pretentious mess of a novel that ridicules mental illness*
 

Well, that was nothing like what I expected it to be…
 
I expected a humorous, heartwarming yet sassy story about a mother who just had enough and took off on a journey of self-actualization. What I found within the pages of Where’d You Go, Bernadette was a poorly written, over-indulgent, callous, mean-spirited mess of a story pretending to be satire.
 
You see, the thing is satire is an Art. Expert satire is subtle, insightful, and cutting with just the right amount of snark. Inexpert attempts are often clownish, farcical, and rudimentary. Simply making fun of things doesn’t qualify. This book truly puts the “ass” in asinine. There is more to satire than just being a jerk. Reading this book was like going to a comedy show expecting insightful comedy but only getting fat jokes.
 
There is nothing witty or insightful about this book. It reads like a thinly-disguised bitter rant. I cringe a little saying this, because I hate to be that person whining about satire not being sensitive. But holy hell is this book monumentally insensitive to mental illness!!! Other topics are treated with complete disregard for anything resembling human decency, but the mocking treatment of mental illness was atrocious. Agoraphobia, depression, bullying, suicide risk, anxiety, infidelity, and more are all presented flippantly and tactlessly. And frankly, but it makes Semple seem like a nasty bully herself.
 
This story is stuffed to bursting with unlikeable, inconsistent characters. Most of them range from dirtbag to psycho bitches. (If you empathize with Soo-Lin then you should take a long, hard look at yourself.) While I empathized with Bernadette for the awful bullying she experiences, I still couldn’t stand her character. It is hard to feel sorry for someone who makes prejudice rants against homeless people and foreigners. So in the end, there was not a single tolerable character in this entire book. I’ll be honest, reading this story brought back a lot of memories of being bullied in school. I used to think that high school girls were the meanest thing on Earth. But then I found out that those Mean Girls almost without exception grow up into Mean Mommies – and they are far more judgmental, vicious, and vindictive than their teenage selves. They take all of their self-hatred and insecurities and lash out at everyone else in an attempt to make themselves look better by belittling and destroying others. This is the story of how Bernadette becomes their favorite emotional punching bag.
 
In between the nastiness and whining is a lot of filler about mundane details of Bernadette’s life. This is one of those books that uses non-chronological plot in order to hide the lack of content and horribly sloppy plot. This book goes beyond plot holes into the land of incompetent writing. One of the main catalysts to the plot is outright impossible due to a complete contradiction. And the rest of the plot falls apart after that. It goes from far-fetched to unfeasible. When you look back at the end, the whole damn thing is nonsensical.
 
The story is told in epistolary format which can be great when handled properly. But in Where’d You Go, Bernadette, it’s a total trainwreck. It is completely unbelievable that so many characters would write out the insane level details as these characters do. For example, if you were writing an email to a friend and you were referencing an event you both experienced firsthand, you would simply say, “Remember when…” and move on. You would not say, “Remember when…” then proceed to write out the entire experience as if you were journaling your favorite summer experience for a creative writing class. You wouldn’t regurgitate every word spoken, every outfit worn, every sight and sound and smell. And yet that is what this book is filled with.
 
The story circles around Bernadette’s fifteen-year-old daughter, Bee. Her character was so inconsistent. She is allegedly brilliant and wise beyond her years, but most of the time she sounds like a petulant ten-year-old. A lot of people raved about her character, but by the end, she was just as intolerable as everyone else in this book.
 
Between the sloppy writing, the entirely unlikeable characters, and the all-around ickiness of the author’s sentiments, Where’d You Go, Bernadette was an awful book that I wish I’d never read. Maria Semple is absolutely going on my Do Not Read list! But complaining about this book feels like stooping to their level. I want to move on and find something that reminds me how reading can bring joy.


RATING FACTORS:
Ease of Reading: 2 Stars
Writing Style: 1 Star
Characters and Character Development: 1 Star
Plot Structure and Development: 1 Star
Level of Captivation: 1 Star
Originality: 1 Star

Jenna Pascale 

I was really excited to start this one because I have a new found love for epistolary novels. I honestly barely read the synopsis before diving in. This was a nice switch from my usual dark and heavy reads. I really loved the witty humor and the characters - even the ones that were supposed to be unlikable. Unfortunately, the ending of this one fell short for me. While the book wrapped up happily, I just felt like there was something missing…the emotional build up didn’t follow all the way through to the end so it seemed like there as a glitch with the consistency. Overall, I really enjoyed this book and Bee’s bubbly personality and relationship with Bernadette.

Gillian Rose

All the characters were horribly unlikeable (especially Elgin; what kind of a name is ELGIN?) but I was compelled by the way the story was told and the overall mystery.

Ivy X

Loved all the Seattle references (esp the ones I understood or had personal experiences with) but struggled to find joy in the story or writing. I disliked the dramatic, satirical nature of the characters & found the plot and character development to be lacking. 

Finishing this in Seattle was a vibe though.

Jessica Ford

This was a fun book to read. I never knew what to expect. I especially liked the way it was written in correspondence - emails, texts, letters. Semple is a little rough on Seattle, but she's not all that off. Looking forward to more books by Semple.

Jeannette Ordas

A super fun read that started off strong, wavered in the middle and then dusted itself off for a satisfactory finish.

Alexandra Sklar

Fun read! Engaging story and characters, and I enjoyed how it resolved. I also liked the bits about architecture and their home.

Taylor

The good: I read this book in one giant spree. The story was compelling, and it didn’t lose momentum at all. It also helped that I’ve heard rave reviews, and I wanted to know why. 

The bad? I have no idea why this book has rave reviews. It’s not quite satire, not quite drama, not quite comedy, even. It had potential to say something unique about mental illness (I have no idea what, though), but halfway through that gets kicked in the teeth. Where the hell did the FBI come from? Why is everyone so fucking easy to hack? (Like, apparently all the Microsoft employees just use ‘changeme’ as their password even tho they’re working on some top-level fuckin BCI implants.) also, fuck the whole VAV subplot where recovery and Al-Anon get turned into punchlines. Not to mention the ‘oops I fell in love with a genius!!!’ trope that gets trotted out for two major characters. And don’t get me started on Antarctica-as-deus-ex-machina because that’s some nineteenth-century Walden shit. 

Did this book go over my head?? Am I missing something?? Literally the more I think about it and type this the more stars I deduct. So. That’s probably a good indication that I don’t have anything more constructive to say. Honestly, go read Eleanor Oliphant instead.

Izza

At first I really wasn’t sure if I would like this book. The format it was written in was not something I was familiar with (okay, it’s just a bunch of emails); it felt really disorganized and I had trouble remembering who was who. Mea culpa: I really think it was my fault for not researching more on the book before diving in. I didn’t know who was telling the story, or how all of these emails were related.

But I really wanted to like this book. I had waited for it to be available at the library (!), the ratings on GoodReads were great, there was no way I’d let my ADD brain win this one. And I’m glad I kept on reading, because about 90 pages in, everything sort of fell into place, and the book was excellent!

Read more over @ The Hungry Bookster

Marisel 

I Loved this book So much! I may even read it again at some point (which I Never do)! It was hilariously funny. Having had a child in private school and communed with private school parents for those 13 blissful years, I found some great, vicarious comfort in reading Bernadette’s adventures. I feel like this character channeled some of my deepest feelings about so many things, including alternative life style choices. Hint: Don’t miss out on the wonderful addition that’s been snuck into the first few pages of the “book club study guide” section, which is said to have been originally published in The NewYorker. I couldn’t stop laughing aloud, even though it was 1am and I was well tucked in bed next to my already slumbering husband. I haven’t enjoyed that degree of literary mirth in years.

Tess McMahon

A fun, quick holiday read on my honeymoon! Where’d You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple is a quirky, funny, satirical story following frustrated genius, Bernadette, her Microsoft legend husband, Elgie, and their daughter, Bee, after Bernadette’s disappearance.

This book has boat rides to the ends of the earth, Russian mafia and endless satire of the stuck up ‘gnats’ of Seattle.

You do have to suspend your disbelief for most of the book, but it’s this outrageousness that makes it so delightful. 

Definitely not a deep, literary story, but it’s totally happy in its funny, eccentric lane.

Bernadette Fox is notorious. To Elgie Branch, a Microsoft wunderkind, she's his hilarious, volatile, talented, troubled wife. To fellow mothers at the school gate, she's a menace. To design experts, she's a revolutionary architect. And to 15-year-old Bee, she is a best friend and, quite simply, mum. Then Bernadette disappears. And Bee must take a trip to the end of the earth to find her. Where'd You Go, Bernadette is a compulsively readable, irresistibly written, deeply touching novel about misplaced genius and a mother and daughter's place in the world.

Belle

Hard to know what to rate this one. I'd planned to rate it 4/5 until the last 15% or so, which was a bit slow and not as funny as the rest, but 3/5 based on the last chunk doesn't seem fair. I was surprised how much I enjoyed the format of using letters, emails, reports, and so on for the bulk of the book (this also pretty much stopped for the last chunk that I enjoyed less). Most of the book was fun, with a few laugh-out-loud moments that are very rare for me. I'd recommend it as a beach read—something light and fun, a fairly quick, easy read.

Thais Souza Passos

I felt like Bernadette every time, the way she sees people around her, the world, the way she dresses... everything she do I like <3

olivia musick

from the first ten pages, i was hooked! and every time it just started to feel like it was getting slow, semple ramped it up and had your heart pacing. truly it was a page-turner!

Where'd you go, Bernadette a novel

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