Tahereh Mafi

Fan favorite character Kenji Kishimoto narrates this gripping companion novella to Tahereh Mafi’s New York Times bestselling Shatter Me series, set during the explosive events in Restore Me! Juliette is still reeling from Warner's betrayal, and Kenji is trying to balance his friendship with her with his responsibilities as a leader of the resistance against the Reestablishment. Things get even more interesting when an unexpected person from Omega Point’s past surfaces. The ending of Restore Me left readers gasping, and this novella full of Kenji’s signature sass and big heart is the perfect story to tide fans over until Defy Me, the shocking fifth book in the Shatter Me series.

Shadow Me

Eslie

fc ♡

My brain hurts. The alarm is shrill and persistent. I ignore it. I stretch out the muscles in my neck and groan, quietly. The clock won’t stop screeching. 

Someone pounds, hard, against the wall near my head, and I hear Adam’s muffled voice shouting at me to shut off the alarm. “Every morning,” he shouts. “You do this every morning. I swear to God, Kenji, one of these days I’m going to come in there and destroy that thing.” 

“All right,” I mumble, mostly to myself. “All right. Calm down.” 

 I take a deep, ragged breath. Slap blindly at the clock until it stops blaring. We finally got our own rooms on base, but I still can’t seem to find peace. Or privacy. These walls are paper thin, and Adam hasn’t changed a bit. Still moody. No sense of humor. Generally irritated. Sometimes I can’t remember why we’re friends

I’m so happy for my friends. I love them, even when they piss me off. I care about them. I want their joy. But it still hurts a little when it feels like, everywhere I look, everyone seems to have someone. Everyone but me. It’s crazy how much I wish I didn’t care. I wish, so much, all the time, that I didn’t give a shit about this sort of thing

That’s when she laughed for real. Out loud. She bit her lip to cut the sound and she shook her head as she said, softly, “You’re not messing with me, are you? You’re just really bad at this.”

 I blinked at her. I didn’t think I understood the question.

 “You’re terrible at talking to me,” she said. “I make you nervous.” I blanched. 

“I didn’t— I mean, I wouldn’t say that y—”

Warner is definitely pissed. I’m super late, and Warner is waiting for me, perched carefully on a stiff chair in a conference room downstairs, staring at a wall. I managed to snag a muffin on my way down, and I wipe quickly at my face, hoping I haven’t left evidence around my mouth. I don’t know how Warner feels about muffins, but I’m guessing he’s not a fan. 

“Hey,” I say, and I sound out of breath. “What’d I miss?” 

“This is my fault,” he says, waving a hand around the room. He doesn’t even look at me.

 “I mean, I already know it’s your fault,” I say quickly, “but, like, just to be clear—what are we talking about?”

 “This,” he says. Finally, he looks at me. “This situation.”

“It’s my fault,” he says, pausing dramatically, “for thinking I could depend on you.” 

“All right, all right, calm down. I’m here now.” 

Warner walks to the door and then hesitates. Slowly, he turns to face me. “You’re having trouble again.” I look up, surprised. 

 “In love. You’re having trouble in your love life. Is that why you were late?”

 I feel the blood drain from my face. “How the hell would you know something like that?” 

“You reek of it.” He nods at me, my body. “You’re practically emanating lovelorn agony.”

 I stare at him, stunned. I don’t even know if it’s worth denying. 

“It’s Nazeera, isn’t it?” Warner says. His eyes are clear, free of judgment.

“Does she return your affections?” I shoot him a belligerent look. 

“How the hell am I supposed to know?” 

Warner smiles. It’s the first real emotion he’s shown all morning. “I suspected she might eviscerate you,” he says. “But I admit I thought she would use a knife.” 

“Be careful, Kishimoto. I find it necessary to remind you that she was raised to be lethal. I wouldn’t cross her.” 

“Great,” I mutter, dropping my head in my hands. “I feel so good about this. Thanks for the pep talk.”

"Wait a second.” I frown. “Did you just give me dating advice?” 

Warner tilts his head. A flicker of a smile again. “I’m merely returning the favor.”

 I laugh, surprised. “Thanks, man. I appreciate that.” 

He nods. And then, with an elegant pivot, he opens the door and closes it behind him. The dude moves like a prince. He’s always dressed like a prince. Shiny boots and fitted suits and shit. I sigh, irrationally irritated. Am I jealous? Damn, maybe I’m jealous. Warner always seems so pulled together. He’s always cold and cool. Always has a line, a comeback. A clear head. I bet he’s never struggled like I have with a girl. Never had to work so hard t— Wow. I’m an idiot.

Warner steps inside, closes the door behind them. “Why do you insist on eating like an animal?” he snaps at me.

 I frown, begin to speak, and he cuts me off with one hand. “Don’t you dare speak to me with your mouth full.”

 I swallow too quickly and nearly choke, but I force the rest of the muffin down.

 I clear my throat before saying, “You know what? I’m tired of this shit. You always make fun of the way I eat, and it’s not fair.” Warner tries to speak and I cut him off. “No,” I say. “I don’t eat like an animal. I just happen to be hungry. And maybe you should spend a few years starving to death before you think about making fun of the way I eat, okay asshole?”

 It’s startling, how quickly it happens, but something changes in Warner’s face. Not the tightness in his jaw or the furrow in his brow. But for a moment, the light goes out of his eyes. He turns almost exactly forty-five degrees away from me. And his voice is solemn when he says, “They’re waiting for us in the next room.” 

“Oh,” Castle says, his eyes wide. “Oh, was it a secret? I didn’t realize it was a secret. My apologies.”

He laughs. “I have to say, if you’re interested in keeping it to yourself, you might want to change your tactics.”

He shrugs. “You don’t see yourself around her. Your feelings are obvious to everyone. From anywhere.”

 I drop my head into my hands with a groan.

I still don’t think I understand Warner, but it’s obvious that something about her lights a fire in him. He looks alive when she’s in his arms. Human like I’ve never seen him before. Like he’s in love. And not only in love, but beyond salvation. When they break apart they both look a little crazy, but Warner looks especially unhinged. His body is shaking. And when she suddenly takes off running down the hall, I know this won’t end well. My heart aches. For both of them. I watch as Warner slumps back, against the wall, sinking into the stone until his limbs give out. He collapses onto the floor.

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