Name: Cassandra Tang's review of Dare to Lead by Brené Brown
Item: Dare to Lead
Rating: 4.5
Author: Cassandra Tang

Brené Brown

In her #1 New York Times bestsellers, Brené Brown has taught us what it means to dare greatly, rise strong, and brave the wilderness. Now, based on new research conducted with leaders, change makers, and culture shifters, she's showing us how to put those ideas into practice so we can step up and lead. Leadership is not about titles, status, and wielding power. A leader is anyone who takes responsibility for recognizing the potential in people and ideas, and has the courage to develop that potential. When we dare to lead, we don't pretend to have the right answers; we stay curious and ask the right questions. We don't see power as finite and hoard it; we know that power becomes infinite when we share it with others. We don't avoid difficult conversations and situations; we lean into vulnerability when it's necessary to do good work. But daring leadership in a culture defined by scarcity, fear, and uncertainty requires skill-building around traits that are deeply and uniquely human. The irony is that we're choosing not to invest in developing the hearts and minds of leaders at the exact same time as we're scrambling to figure out what we have to offer that machines and AI can't do better and faster. What can we do better? Empathy, connection, and courage, to start. Four-time #1 New York Times bestselling author Brené Brown has spent the past two decades studying the emotions and experiences that give meaning to our lives, and the past seven years working with transformative leaders and teams spanning the globe. She found that leaders in organizations ranging from small entrepreneurial startups and family-owned businesses to nonprofits, civic organizations, and Fortune 50 companies all ask the same question: How do you cultivate braver, more daring leaders, and how do you embed the value of courage in your culture? In this new book, Brown uses research, stories, and examples to answer these questions in the no-BS style that millions of readers have come to expect and love. Brown writes, "One of the most important findings of my career is that daring leadership is a collection of skills and practices that are 100 percent teachable. It's learning and unlearning that requires brave work, tough conversations, and showing up with your whole heart. Easy? No. Because choosing courage over comfort is not always our default. Worth it? Always. We want to be brave with our lives and our work. It's why we're here." Whether you've read Daring Greatly and Rising Strong or you're new to Brené Brown's work, this book is for anyone who wants to step up and into brave leadership.

Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts

Dare to Lead

In her #1 NYT bestsellers, Brené Brown taught us what it means to dare greatly, rise strong and brave the wilderness. Now, based on new research conducted with leaders, change makers and culture shifters, she’s showing us how to put those ideas into practice so we can step up and lead. Leadership is not about titles, status and power over people. Leaders are people who hold themselves accountable for recognising the potential in people and ideas, and developing that potential. This is a book for everyone who is ready to choose courage over comfort, make a difference and lead. When we dare to lead, we don't pretend to have the right answers; we stay curious and ask the right questions. We don't see power as finite and hoard it; we know that power becomes infinite when we share it and work to align authority and accountability. We don't avoid difficult conversations and situations; we lean into the vulnerability that’s necessary to do good work. But daring leadership in a culture that's defined by scarcity, fear and uncertainty requires building courage skills, which are uniquely human. The irony is that we're choosing not to invest in developing the hearts and minds of leaders at the same time we're scrambling to figure out what we have to offer that machines can't do better and faster. What can we do better? Empathy, connection and courage to start. Brené Brown spent the past two decades researching the emotions that give meaning to our lives. Over the past seven years, she found that leaders in organisations ranging from small entrepreneurial start-ups and family-owned businesses to non-profits, civic organisations and Fortune 50 companies, are asking the same questions: How do you cultivate braver, more daring leaders? And, how do you embed the value of courage in your culture? Dare to Lead answers these questions and gives us actionable strategies and real examples from her new research-based, courage-building programme. Brené writes, ‘One of the most important findings of my career is that courage can be taught, developed and measured. Courage is a collection of four skill sets supported by twenty-eight behaviours. All it requires is a commitment to doing bold work, having tough conversations and showing up with our whole hearts. Easy? No. Choosing courage over comfort is not easy. Worth it? Always. We want to be brave with our lives and work. It's why we're here.’

Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.

Selena Yang

“Savings can be created by spending less.

And you will desire less if you care less about what others think of you.

As I argue often in this book, money relies more on psychology than finance.”

“Past a certain level of income, what you need is just what sits below your ego.”

But spending beyond a pretty low level of materialism is mostly a reflection of ego approaching income, a way to spend money to show people that you have (or had) money.

Think of it like this, and one of the most powerful ways to increase your savings isn’t to raise your income. It’s to raise your humility.

“In the past, jobs were about muscles, now they’re about brains, but in the future they’ll be about the heart.

—MINOUCHE SHAFIK, director, London School of Economics”

“We also agreed that we’d work together on estimating timelines and due dates, rumbling on them until we all owned them as a team. Today we’ve started using a time estimation and project priority practice that seems simple but is effective and wildly telling. We call it the Turn & Learn. We all get Post-it notes and write down how long we think a project is going to take, and if we’re looking at several projects that we need to prioritize, we’ll write the projects in priority order. Once everyone has written down an estimate or priority ranking in private, we count to three and show our answers.

This practice controls for the “halo effect” created when everyone sees what the person with the most influence in the room wants and follows suit. It also controls for the “bandwagon effect”—that very human instinct to follow suit even when you disagree. It’s tough to be the last to share when everyone is on board and getting increasingly excited about an idea.

We call it Turn & Learn because it’s not about being right or wrong, it’s about creating space to understand different perspectives, learning from everyone around the table, and[…]”

“When we’re in fear, or an emotion is driving self-protection, there’s a fairly predictable pattern of how we assemble our armor, piece by piece:

 fact, now that I think about it, I’m actually better than them.

People think it’s a long walk from “I’m not enough” to “I’m better than them,” but it’s actually just standing still. In the exact same place. In fear. Assembling the armor.

I don’t want to live in fear or lead from fear, and I’m sick to death of the armor. Courage and faith are my core values, and when I’m in fear I show up in ways that leave me feeling out of alignment with these values and outside my integrity. This is when I remember Joseph Campbell’s quote, which I believe is one of the purest calls to courage for leaders: “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”

“Feeding people half-truths or bullshit to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) is unkind. Not getting clear with a colleague about your expectations because it feels too hard, yet holding them accountable or blaming them for not delivering is unkind. Talking about people rather than to them is unkind. This lesson has so wildly transformed my life that we live by it at home. If Ellen is trying to figure out how to handle a college roommate issue or Charlie needs to talk to a friend about something…clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”

“Fake vulnerability can look like a leader telling us that we can ask questions but not taking the time to create the psychological safety to do it, or not offering a pause in the conversation for anyone else to speak at all.

This leader is also not shirking the responsibility of attending to the team’s fears and feelings by oversharing and sympathy seeking with statements like “I’m really falling apart too. I don’t know what to do either. I’m not the enemy here.” Basically, Feel sorry for me and don’t hold me accountable for leading through this hard time because I’m scared too. Blech.

Not only is fake vulnerability ineffective—but it breeds distrust.”

“Vulnerability minus boundaries is not vulnerability. It’s confession, manipulation, desperation, or shock and awe, but it’s not vulnerability.”

“Today, we teach that setting boundaries is making clear what’s okay and what’s not okay, and why.”

“I told Ellen, “We trust the people who have earned marbles over time in our life. Whenever someone supports you, or is kind to you, or sticks up for you, or honors what you share with them as private, you put marbles in the jar. When people are mean, or disrespectful, or share your secrets, marbles come out. We look for the people who, over time, put marbles in, and in, and in, until you look up one day and they’re holding a full jar. Those are the folks you can tell your secrets to. Those are the folks you trust with information that’s important to you.”

“Regardless of how we approach systemic vulnerability, once we try to strip uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure from the relational experience, we bankrupt courage by definition.”

“I answered for them. “There’s probably not a single act at work that requires more vulnerability than holding people responsible for ethics and values, especially when you’re alone in it or there’s a lot of money, power, or influence at stake. People will put you down, question your intentions, hate you, and sometimes try to discredit you in the process of protecting themselves. So if you don’t ‘do’ vulnerability, and/or you have a culture that thinks vulnerability is weakness, then it’s no wonder that ethical decision making is a problem.”

“I love this quote by Madeleine L’Engle: “When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability.”

“Vulnerability is the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure”

“When we define ourselves by what everyone thinks, it’s hard to be brave. When we stop caring about what anyone thinks, we’re too armored for authentic connection. So how do we get clear on whose opinions of us matter?”

I need to tell this to my friend who is afraid to take the risk of the more fun job.

“the moment the universe put the Roosevelt quote in front of me, three lessons came into sharp focus. The first one is what I call “the physics of vulnerability.” It’s pretty simple: If we are brave enough often enough, we will fall. Daring is not saying “I’m willing to risk failure.” Daring is saying “I know I will eventually fail, and I’m still all in.” I’ve never met a brave person who hasn’t known disappointment, failure, even heartbreak”

“Our ability to be daring leaders will never be greater than our capacity for vulnerability.”

“A rumble is a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to take a break and circle back when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts, and, as psychologist Harriet Lerner teaches, to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard. More than anything else, when someone says, “Let’s rumble,” it cues me to show up with an open heart and mind so we can serve the work and each other, not our egos.”

“if you don’t understand how shame can unravel connection in a split second, you don’t really get connection. I didn’t set out to study vulnerability; it just happens to be the big barrier to almost everything we want from our lives, especially courage. As Marcus Aurelius taught us, “What stands in the way becomes the way.”

Cassandra Tang

Own the story and you get to write the ending. Deny the story and it owns you.

James Bedford

Easy read with plenty of helpful frameworks, concepts and processes all broken down with great examples. 

My first time reading Brené Brown and had an amazing time doing so. Big learns, relayed in a very friendly and practical way. 

Ani Velasquez

Started off good, but went down from there. 

Erik Horton

"Dare to Lead" teaches you how to lead with courage and empathy. The book is based on new research conducted with leaders, change makers, and culture shifters. It shows readers how to put these ideas into practice so they can step up and lead. Leadership is not about titles, status, and power over people. It's about taking responsibility for yourself and others and positively impacting the world.

Brown knows what makes a great leader; most politicians wouldn't make the cut. Listening to the audiobook, this book is indeed "a useful guide for anyone who wants to lead mindfully, live bravely and dare to lead.

Erwin Lemuel Oliva

"Dare to Lead" teaches you how to lead with courage and empathy. The book is based on new research conducted with leaders, change makers, and culture shifters. It shows readers how to put these ideas into practice so they can step up and lead. Leadership is not about titles, status, and power over people. It's about taking responsibility for yourself and others and positively impacting the world.

Brown knows what makes a great leader; most politicians wouldn't make the cut. Listening to the audiobook, this book is indeed "a useful guide for anyone who wants to lead mindfully, live bravely and dare to lead.

Lord Aragorn

This is a real gem for managers. Packed with useful insights and suggestions on dealing with different situations. It needs a companion workbook to track real life situations and apply the learnings. I will have to re-read this book to keep learning.

Jacqui Siroia

Loved the content of this book so much and it is a must read for anyone who leads anyone or team in any industry. 
This is a much better read than a listen on audiobook, she even says in the recording that having a physical copy is better, to get the most out of this book.

Rebekah Rodriguez 

I could listen to Brene nonstop! Such good wisdom backed up by research and helped me so much! I'm taking on a leadership role at my school this year and this gave me tons of insight!

Gisela Ayala 

Good book. Some helpful tips for the workplace. I really like Brene Brown and it was nice listening to her read her book.

James Eaton

If you lead teams, work with team, or really interact with other people on a regular basis (I think that includes all of us...) then I think this book is worth a read. 

I have enjoyed much of Brene's writing and this books combines several of her ideas / books into a direct line of help when it comes to how relate to one another. 

If you like Brown's writing, this is a good read.

Satya Nelms

The message Brown is sharing in this book is an important one and she offers great tools for being a courageous and vulnerable leader, but if you’ve read her other books, Daring Greatly and Rising Strong in particular, this book will feel a bit repetitive.

João Maia

Great book, but the way it’s written, IMO, could be more joyful.

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Brené Brown has taught us what it means to dare greatly, rise strong, and brave the wilderness. Now, based on new research conducted with leaders, change makers, and culture shifters, she’s showing us how to put those ideas into practice so we can step up and lead. Look for Brené Brown’s new podcast, Dare to Lead, as well as her ongoing podcast Unlocking Us! NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY BLOOMBERG Leadership is not about titles, status, and wielding power. A leader is anyone who takes responsibility for recognizing the potential in people and ideas, and has the courage to develop that potential. When we dare to lead, we don’t pretend to have the right answers; we stay curious and ask the right questions. We don’t see power as finite and hoard it; we know that power becomes infinite when we share it with others. We don’t avoid difficult conversations and situations; we lean into vulnerability when it’s necessary to do good work. But daring leadership in a culture defined by scarcity, fear, and uncertainty requires skill-building around traits that are deeply and uniquely human. The irony is that we’re choosing not to invest in developing the hearts and minds of leaders at the exact same time as we’re scrambling to figure out what we have to offer that machines and AI can’t do better and faster. What can we do better? Empathy, connection, and courage, to start. Four-time #1 New York Times bestselling author Brené Brown has spent the past two decades studying the emotions and experiences that give meaning to our lives, and the past seven years working with transformative leaders and teams spanning the globe. She found that leaders in organizations ranging from small entrepreneurial startups and family-owned businesses to nonprofits, civic organizations, and Fortune 50 companies all ask the same question: How do you cultivate braver, more daring leaders, and how do you embed the value of courage in your culture? In this new book, Brown uses research, stories, and examples to answer these questions in the no-BS style that millions of readers have come to expect and love. Brown writes, “One of the most important findings of my career is that daring leadership is a collection of four skill sets that are 100 percent teachable, observable, and measurable. It’s learning and unlearning that requires brave work, tough conversations, and showing up with your whole heart. Easy? No. Because choosing courage over comfort is not always our default. Worth it? Always. We want to be brave with our lives and our work. It’s why we’re here.” Whether you’ve read Daring Greatly and Rising Strong or you’re new to Brené Brown’s work, this book is for anyone who wants to step up and into brave leadership.

Callie Anna

Some good nuggets, but have to wade through the unnecessary stories and repetition to get there. Would suit much better as a conference talk.

Stefanie Sugia

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."This is the third book by Brené Brown that I've read, and it's probably my least favorite, but I ended up writing a review for this one first 😂. I guess it's because the previous two books that I've read, Rising Strong and I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) are just too good and I just want to rewrite the whole book in my reviews 😂😂. I said that this book is my least favorite not because the content isn't that good. To be honest, I still learned a lot of amazing things through her research. The difference is, this time everything is seen from a leadership perspective. It hasn't been that long since I finished Rising Strong and I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't), so a lot of the details from those books are still fresh in my memory. One of the drawbacks from this book is the fact that there are a lot of things that are just straight out of her previous books. I think I'd rather just read all of her previous books separately than reading this one 🤔. Despite my dissatisfaction, I'm going to share some of the things that I find interesting about leadership in this book 😊."Rather than spending a reasonable amount of time proactively acknowledging and addressing the fears and feelings that show up during change and upheaval, we spend an unreasonable amount of time managing problematic behaviors.""People are opting out of vital conversations about diversity and inclusivity because they fear looking wrong, saying something wrong, or being wrong. Choosing our own comfort over hard conversations is the epitome of privilege, and it corrodes trust and moves us away from meaningful and lasting change."In the introduction part of this book, Brené listed ten behaviors and cultural issues that leaders identified as getting in our way in organizations across the world, which includes: avoiding tough conversations, not acknowledging fears and feelings, diminishing trust, getting stuck in setbacks, too much shame, and many more. Throughout the book, she shared some of the ways to tackle these issues.

One of my favorite chapters in this book is called Living into Our Values. I love this statement in the book about value: 
  "Living into our values means that we do more than profess our values, we practice them. We walk our talk—we are clear about what we believe and hold important, and we take care that our intentions, words, thoughts, and behaviors align with those beliefs."
 I've seen many people who are inconsistent with their values, and somehow I find it very difficult to respect that kind of person. That's why I really appreciate Brené for talking about it. There's even a section in this book that makes you focus on your two core values. She specifically asks us to narrow it down to two, as Jim Collins said: "If you have more than three priorities, you have no priorities." It's an amazing exercise that makes me reflect on the top two things that I value in my life."Our values should be so crystallized in our minds, so infallible, so precise and clear and unassailable, that they don't feel like a choice—they are simply a definition of who we are in our lives. In those hard moments, we know that we are going to pick what's right, right now, over what is easy.""Because that is integrity—choosing courage over comfort; it's choosing what's right over what's fun, fast, or easy; and it's practicing your values, not just professing them."Another statement that stuck in my mind is: "Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind." When I read this part, I ponder about it for quite some time because it really speaks to me. As Brené wrote in this book: "Feeding people half-truths or bullshit to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) is unkind. Not getting clear with a colleague about your expectations because it feels too hard, yet holding them accountable or blaming them for not delivering is unkind. Talking about people rather than to them is unkind." This quote really struck me hard because I'm guilty for being unclear about many things. After reading this part, I tried to apply it to an incident that happened to me recently, and it was relieving. It was difficult to do at first, but then I felt better afterwards. I am still learning, but that statement has become one of my life motto now 😊.

The last part that I'm going to share in this review is the chapter called Braving Trust. In this chapter, there's this thing called the BRAVING Inventory which leads to trust building. The seven elements includes: Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Nonjudgment, and Generosity. I'm not going to go over every single one, but I really learned a lot in this section. I am especially weak in Vault, which is about not sharing information or experiences that are not yours to share. I guess I'm doing better lately, but I know I still have more room to grow. It's a good place for me to reflect and evaluate how I've been with my trust-building skill so far."Maya Angelou said, "I don't trust people who don't love themselves and tell me, 'I love you.' There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt."There are so many more things that I could share in this review but I think that would be too long to read 😂. If you're interested in leadership, planning on being a leader, or you're just part of an organization, you can pick this book up to gain some insight. I believe it will be extremely useful since there are so many things that we can learn through it. I might want to pick this book up again when I'm planning to step up into a leadership position (although it's a bit unlikely to happen in my life 😂). As I've said earlier, for me personally, I'd rather read Brené Brown's other books because those dig deep into the topics of courage, empathy, and wholeheartedness. Nevertheless, I'm still grateful to Brené Brown for writing all these books that always renewed my mind and my perspective on living this life. Definitely looking forward to her future works! 😊"Daring leaders must care for and be connected to the people they lead.
The data made clear that care and connection are irreducible requirements for wholehearted, productive relationships between leaders and team members. This means that if we do not have a sense of caring toward someone we lead and/or we don't feel connected to that person, we have two options: Develop the caring and connection or find a leader who's a better fit."

Read the full review here:
http://www.thebookielooker.com/2018/1...

Safiya 

I first came across her in her outstanding Ted talk, quite a time ago. The talk was about vulnerability, at that time the studio work we were faced with each day, dismissed any show of empathy or vulnerability, and demanding to face tons of feedback (mostly negative). It tore away any humanely possible reaction to stress or overwhelming work load. I found it particularly liberating to embrace the vulnerability movement , and that is not about being frail, or showcasing any "mesquinerie", it was closer to being who you are and taking whole responsibility about it, in her own words : "Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we’re terrified about what people might see or think. " Studio work requires showing up in every way that might cross your mind, an artistic presence, physical appearance, a winners attitude,.. A place where" fake it until you make it", has a literal application... (another version of "Fashion Runaway" prog).... 
Surely, with that came bad habits, fake personalities and numerous breakdowns. However, during that awakening period, Brené was just giving that talk, and Eurêka! It was a long journey towards gaining the courage to find comfort in shame, and still is, it was full of genuineness (some situations went bad others unexpectedly better) and great learning opportuinities.
In this book, I finally found words to what can replace the old way of doing things at the studio. Especially that the setting is closest to a business thingy.
This is my first review edition, the real review in my opinion shall be after trying/applying the guidelines and toolboxes that came with it...
Maybe by June I could come up with a decent practical review..

Vera Sokolyanskaya

Original review (2 stars, didn't finish ~@ 40%, Sept 14, 2019): I love Brene Brown, I've watched her TED-talk many times, I loved her Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead and I recommend it to people, I enjoyed her Netflix special Call to Courage.
But I have to admit that she keeps repeating the same ideas everywhere and even though the ideas are valid and important, there is just so many times you want to hear them said the same way.
If this is the first Brene Brown book you are going to read - read it. If you've read one of her books before - you are not going to find anything new here.

Update (3 stars, finished reading with my company's Leadership book club, May 10, 2020): Book clubs are kind of like watching movies on a big screen - they make books slightly better because of the experience. Discussing this book with my colleagues made me appreciate it a little more as we were sharing our experiences with the concepts described in the book.
As I was reading through the book, I did find pieces that augment Daring Greatly , there is more acknowledge of different perspectives that exist and that ideas resonate differently depending on what background you are coming from. I also liked chapters about living our values. trust and rising after failures. The last chapter really resonates with me, I find that in today's "working from home reality" people tell themselves more stories and believe other people's stories easier. 
But this is probably the last Brene's book that I've read.

Lucas Coelho

This is a Brené Brown book, and contains everything you would expect from a Brené Brown book.

It opens your chest, grabs you your hard and pumps it again. It slaps you in the face and gives you that shake you need. Reading Brene is not easy, it requires a level of unpacking yourself and reviewing your values that I believe not a lot of people are ready for it. It will make you uncomfortable but don’t give up, when it gets to you, it will make positive change. 

Recommended. ☺️

Les Reynolds

Some good bits that resonated, some challenging bits, and some bits where she lost me.

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Dare to Lead by Brené Brown

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