Name: ryan's review of Either/Or by Elif Batuman
Item: Either/Or
Rating: 4.5
Author: ryan

Elif Batuman

From the acclaimed and bestselling author of The Idiot, the continuation of beloved protagonist Selin’s quest for self-knowledge, as she travels abroad and tests the limits of her newfound adulthood Selin is the luckiest person in her family: the only one who was born in America and got to go to Harvard. Now it’s sophomore year, 1996, and Selin knows she has to make it count. The first order of business: to figure out the meaning of everything that happened over the summer. Why did Selin’s elusive crush, Ivan, find her that job in the Hungarian countryside? What was up with all those other people in the Hungarian countryside? Why is Ivan’s weird ex-girlfriend now trying to get in touch with Selin? On the plus side, it feels like the plot of an exciting novel. On the other hand, why do so many novels have crazy abandoned women in them? How does one live a life as interesting as a novel—a life worthy of becoming a novel—without becoming a crazy abandoned woman oneself? Guided by her literature syllabus and by her more worldly and confident peers, Selin reaches certain conclusions about the universal importance of parties, alcohol, and sex, and resolves to execute them in practice—no matter what the cost. Next on the list: international travel. Unfolding with the propulsive logic and intensity of youth, Either/Or is a landmark novel by one of our most brilliant writers. Hilarious, revelatory, and unforgettable, its gripping narrative will confront you with searching questions that persist long after the last page.

Either/Or

ryan

Why were the most important subjects addressed only indirectly? Why was there no department of love?

 wen

I had tried, on multiple occasions, to put in a tampon. Tampons were spoken of by older or more sophisticated girls as being somehow more liberated and feminist than maxi pads. "I just put one in and forget about it." I felt troubled by the implication that a person was constantly thinking about their maxi pad. 

Selin is the luckiest person in her family: the only one who was born in America and got to go to Harvard. Now it’s her second year, and Selin knows she has to make it count. The first order of business: to figure out the meaning of everything that happened over the summer... 
On the plus side, her life feels like the plot of an exciting novel. On the other hand, why do so many novels have crazy abandoned women in them? And how does one live a life as interesting as a novel—a life worthy of becoming a novel—without turning into a crazy abandoned woman oneself?

Nienke Timmermans

On another occasion, Berrak had hung wet sheets over the tops of he doors to dry. "Remind me why that's not a good thing to do?" I said thoughtfully, as though I had simply forgotten. My mother and aunts stared at me with identical sorrowful expressions. A door, it was pointed out to me, wasn't designed as a load-bearing element; that wasn't part of the great plan for doors, they weren't made for people to ride on, but simply to exist on their hinges, regulating access to rooms. When they had done that, they had done enough, without also carrying the weight of great dripping wet sheets. And what possible reason could there be, what possible benefit to be derived from rejecting the hallowed product of human ingenuity that was the clothesline?

It was a strange thing how people acted as if having a kid was the best thing that could happen to anyone, even though actual parens seemed to experience most of their children's actual childhoods as an annoyance, which they compensated for by bossing them around. People with kids had to go to work every day, at boring, reliable jobs. On the plus side, work was an acceptable way to escape your children, without seeming to want to. The children, having no such escape, lived through long stretches of boredom and powerlessness, punctuated by occasional treats that they overvalued and freaked out over because the rest of their lives were so empty. 

Why was it important to keep doing that? Some people, usually men, talked about genetic programming, and said we couldn't deny nature. This was supposed to be scientific. I didn't see how obeying our nature was scientific, since it was also our nature to die from smallpox and to be unable to fly. 

Religious people were the only ones who said openly that having kids was the purpose of life - something you did because God told you to, and because you had to outnumber people in other religions. That at least made sense, though it did seem sort of antisocial. But what if you weren't religious? I had heard some secularist people tallk about a civic duty to keep pace with the religious people - to outnumber them in elections. But weren't there more direct ways to affect the outcome of elections, other than physically birthing people who would vote the same way as you?

Ruby Emmeline Fisher

Nadja had the validity of constituting at least a tiny part of the way of the world. Part of the way of the world was that women had a tendency to go crazy. Men could bring out this tendency. But to blame the men was to take sides, to lose logic, to enter the craziness of the women—because the very content of the women's craziness was, in large part, the blameworthiness of men.

The other subject we talked about was whether men were less affected by love than women —whether they suffered less from heartbreak. Even if suffering was, as Svetlana insisted, universally human, and thus also befell men, it seemed inarguable that men were better compartmentalizing, and less easily distracted from their intellectual goals. Was this because their neurological hardwiring made them better at systems, while women were better at empathy—because men valued abilities and things, while women valued feelings and people? How could we learn to place less value on feelings and people? 

Syrina

The guys I was in love with always ignored me, but were never unkind. There was something abstract and gentle about the experience of being ignored--a feeling of being spared, a known impossibility of anything happening--that was consonant with my understanding of love. In theory, of course, I knew that love could be reciprocated. It was a thing that happened, often, to other people. But I was unlike other people in so many ways. 

every now and then a sentence jumped out and seemed to sparkle midair

taylor miles hopkins

If the little girl ever forgot those things, then she would have helped to murder her ancestors.

And yet... what was value, if it wasn't conferred by some people? A daunting thought: How would I eventually root out from my mind all the beliefs that I hated?

I cry. The growth to full adult autonomy is great. 

Roman Micevic

 In the past, I had been in one country or another because of other people: my par- ents, Svetlana, Ivan, Sean. But I was in Russia because I had looked at the literatures of the world and made a choice. Nobody had especially wanted me to come—indeed, the customs officer who stamped my passport had left a distinct impression of wishing me to be elsewhere- yet here I was. It was like when Isabel managed not to marry the guy with the cotton mills, and it was her first taste of victory because "she had done what she preferred."

What was more alienating: the album art that wasn't targeting me, or the album art that clearly was…?

 I had thought of it as "radio music." For many years, I hadn’t realized that it even came on records or tapes. 

The essential qualities of radio music were: a tone of oracular truth; an appeal to "you'; an uncertainty as to whether you yourself were “you.”

After all, if everyone's behavior was visibly consistent with what their attitude was supposed to be, then faith would beunnecessary.

…where they were equal—where he wasn't tricking her into doing something she didn't want? Or was that what seduction was?

All it said was: "Does Kierkegaard mean us to prefer one of the alternatives? Or are we thrown back on the existentialist idea of radical choice?" That had probably been written bya professor. I recognized the professors' characteristic delight at not imparting information.

Kat Albanese

Nobody was going to trick me into marrying some loser, and even if they did, I would write the goddamn book myself.

Isabel said that was "the supreme good fortune": to be in a better position for appreciating other people than they were for appreciating you.

I couldn't help thinking it was wasteful for people with such good logic skills to spend so many years and so much energy learning to reconcile an old book with the way things were now. Couldn't a person just write a new book?

The radio in the Quincy kitchen was playing the new Alanis Morissette single, "Head over Feet." It was about having the maturity to want something good for you. I felt outraged. I had thought Alanis Morissette was there to remind us.

Rudolf nodded. Then he picked up his raincoat, turned around, and went to hell.

Connie Meade

Wasn’t that what you were supposed to do: give up on the bad boy you liked, and maturely, self-respectingly accept the attentions of a less charismatic guy who had proven his essential goodness by wanting to be with you? Wasn't that the plot of 40 percent of romantic comedies? Wasn't it what Alanis Morissette had finally done?

One way of looking at it was that now I had feelings about another guy who wanted nothing to do with me. It was, of course, an outcome I had anticipated; but insofar as I had given it any thought, I had seen it as an improvement on the status quo, reasoning that it would feel more bearable and legitimate if the guy was someone I'd actually had sex with. It had been a comfort to imagine a future in which I wasn't constantly thinking about lvan-even if it meant just subbing him out for a guy with a worse personality. 

I could tell from how he hugged me that I could go home with him if I wanted to. I walked around the room, drinking warm beer from a Solo cup. Everyone was obsessively drinking this beer, which came out of a keg. I had never seen a keg before. It looked comically literal. I went back to where Ham was standing and stood close to him. Sure enough, within two minutes, he put his arm around me and asked if I wanted to leave. Had it always been this easy, and I just hadn’t noticed? 

Genesis (@whisperingchapters)

sooo enjoyable to read about someone who is in the same stage of their life as myself that thinks in the way that selin does.. both incredibly smart and funny...

this book was so funny and entertaining to read that i found myself cackling at some points, it’s as if this book was a longggg facetime call with a close friend who can’t resist but give details to everything she has experienced 

micki

Chris Dailey

Fun and cerebral jaunt through sophomore year at Harvard. Full of literary references and awesomely awkward sexual encounters, the novel follows the Selin as she navigates her second year of college without any major, but plenty of minor fanfare. Friendship, family, culture, sexuality and self-discovery are all package in a neat coming of age tale. The real strength comes from the acerbic wit and cringy moments where the veneer wipes away. Humor and intelligence reign supreme here.

Sohini Roy

i need a.) a third and fourth part to this series but also b.) a thorough psychoanalysis of selin’s mind and why it works that way

I’m so in love with Selin. I hope she writes a book. also I missed Svetlana she was such a refreshing character. 

jannah

selin my thought daughter turned thot daughter 🫶

holds the same tone as The Idiot but spends more time in Selin’s head than aloud through her relationships. Unlike the first book, this one skims through her class experience at Harvard more swiftly and instead focuses on what she does outside of class socially. I enjoyed the second half during her travel experience the most. 

amari

Rosa

much like how i felt the idiot was very similar to my life, i related more to selin in this book -- she was also less of a doormat, which was good both for her and for my self image

Elena Kuran

Elif Batuman is so funny and it's so easy to love Selin. I loved this one more than The Idiot

I wonder who i woud be if i knew a fraction of what elif batuman knows 

Magdalena

7/10...

I wonder who i woud be if i knew a fraction of what elif batuman knows 

having mixed feelings about this one that i can't exact if i actually enjoyed the book as a whole or just the glimmers of it where selin's life is in tune with where i am with my own. it took me a while to finish reading because i found myself not as engaged as i hoped to be at times when i sat down with my copy of the book. elif batuman created something special with selin's narrative voice, but there were parts where it was personally tedious to read through. and yet i cannot deny that either/or had enough of a Compelling Factor for me to actually finish instead of marking it with a dnf.

the meandering done by selin in this book echoes a lot of the things i've pressingly discussed with friends in recent years (and some just days ago). unlike with the idiot, selin seems to have a stronger grasp at what she is trying to understand about her identity, what to make sense of the people around her, and treading through the onset of her sexual and romantic desires. at times her voice felt like i was reading a really, really (REALLY) long message from a friend i haven't heard from in a while and i'm nodding along trying to piece together the giant clump of thought that was presented to me. in this book, selin felt almost like a friend. one i don't always understand, but would listen to because she is actually funny and intelligent and needs the space to talk about the things in her life. selin was insufferable at times, but means well usually. she is the voice for all the people on tiktok and twitter who talk about being a teenage girl while living through the early years adulthood.

i don't hate this, honestly. but i can't say i was enamored or completely charmed by it? i guess for the most part, i understand it. i get selin and what she's trying to say and i think batuman did a great job at conveying the confusion and dissatisfaction some of us arrive at when we're at a Point in our lives. it's mostly because of how much i am able to sympathize with selin that i think i had a difficult time enjoying this. would i read a sequel to it? yes. would i re-read either/or? maybe, but probably when i'm older and hopefully out of the same woes selin is experiencing in her own narrative. for now, i'll skim through the citations batuman included for this book because they look like a treat to go through lol

gabi

having mixed feelings about this one that i can't exact if i actually enjoyed the book as a whole or just the glimmers of it where selin's life is in tune with where i am with my own. it took me a while to finish reading because i found myself not as engaged as i hoped to be at times when i sat down with my copy of the book. elif batuman created something special with selin's narrative voice, but there were parts where it was personally tedious to read through. and yet i cannot deny that either/or had enough of a Compelling Factor for me to actually finish instead of marking it with a dnf.

the meandering done by selin in this book echoes a lot of the things i've pressingly discussed with friends in recent years (and some just days ago). unlike with the idiot, selin seems to have a stronger grasp at what she is trying to understand about her identity, what to make sense of the people around her, and treading through the onset of her sexual and romantic desires. at times her voice felt like i was reading a really, really (REALLY) long message from a friend i haven't heard from in a while and i'm nodding along trying to piece together the giant clump of thought that was presented to me. in this book, selin felt almost like a friend. one i don't always understand, but would listen to because she is actually funny and intelligent and needs the space to talk about the things in her life. selin was insufferable at times, but means well usually. she is the voice for all the people on tiktok and twitter who talk about being a teenage girl while living through the early years adulthood.

i don't hate this, honestly. but i can't say i was enamored or completely charmed by it? i guess for the most part, i understand it. i get selin and what she's trying to say and i think batuman did a great job at conveying the confusion and dissatisfaction some of us arrive at when we're at a Point in our lives. it's mostly because of how much i am able to sympathize with selin that i think i had a difficult time enjoying this. would i read a sequel to it? yes. would i re-read either/or? maybe, but probably when i'm older and hopefully out of the same woes selin is experiencing in her own narrative. for now, i'll skim through the citations batuman included for this book because they look like a treat to go through lol

As _____ says: they should have let her do something that wasn't a sequel. Nevertheless, deeply humane and touching (tho very grim and unflinching on sexual violence, nb.) look at the feeling of being constrained within an imagined genre, and a fine retort to its predecessor; tho like its predecessor a bit over-concerned with the inherent beauty of being an undergraduate & c (but I am also very concerned with the issue of living an ‘aesthetic life‘ so I cannot fault this too much). I am still not sure where I fall on the implicit story about the literary & philosophical canon making it impossible to see through the invisible hand of anti-feminist forces (as it were): on the one hand it's hard to deny this, but I think on the other it's not always clear that the sense of being an invisible, disembodied observer of such things is without merit. 

Like everything Batuman writes, much to love and much to resonate with, but neither of the novels has entirely hit the right note for me. Too much self?

Nedostojan nastavak. Je li mi jezik toliko fascinantniji od književnosti?

Dora Tominic

Disclaimer: this is not a review.

Nedostojan nastavak. Je li mi jezik toliko fascinantniji od književnosti?

everything i disliked about the idiot was addressed so so perfectly in either/or that i couldn't help but enjoy this novel tremendously... i've never felt so seen before 

I preferred the first novel, but Bautman has an incredible way of writing that makes ordinary moments seem spectacularly fascinating and the inordinary moments seem blasé and forgettable. I will follow the series as long as bautman continues it. Selin’s sexual exploration made me reminisce on my experience, reminding me that despite there being 20 years of difference between my college experience and Selin’s, not much has really changed. 

Meghan Navoy

I could read about Selin's adventures and menial activities forever. Elif Batuman is such an incredible writer. She makes the most mundane things sound interesting and eventful. I loved this one just as much as The Idiot!

Oz Lubling

I found it quite enjoyable to inhabit the world of this book. From college life, parties, books, the humanities and travel, to relationships, sex and friendship. The author is a master observer always able to point out the absurd beauty of mundane life moments.

Charles McNeilll

I could hear Sally Rooney yelling in the margins.

elif’s writing leaves my mind feeling so stimulated and amused :’) i just loved it.

Bridget Smith

Adam Scharf

Katie Chua

was nervous i wouldn't like it because i've been having a hard time with contemporary women authors/fiction lately but i loved the idiot and i loved either/or. selin is a a brilliant narrator to guide us through a very real and well-executed bildungsroman. 

the most impressive part of the novel, for me, was how batuman handled sex. selin's thoughts as a 19 year old college student was so instantly recognizable for me, it was almost shocking how accurate her thoughts were. lots of art (in fact, majority?) try to talk about sex. a lot of them fail. but this was excellent; in terms of exploring what it felt like to be a 19 year old girl who has never had sex before, what it felt like to be excruciatingly curious about something you can't possibly understand until you actually experience it, what desire is, why sex is so important to understanding life and the "human condition", power play between two people in sex, and so on. because it's amazing, too, witnessing selin's experiences and her attempt to untangle sex and eroticism and self-understanding as well as seeing another person so up close and personal and what does that all have to do with love? that's the question batuman wants us to consider

Genesis (@whisperingchapters) &
Either/Or by Elif Batuman

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Genesis (@whisperingchapters) &Either/Or by Elif Batuman

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Genesis (@whisperingchapters) &
Either/Or by Elif Batuman