Name: Emma Hak-Kovacs's review of A Sharp Endless Need by Marisa Crane
Item: A Sharp Endless Need
Rating: 5
Author: Emma Hak-Kovacs

Marisa Crane

A vibrant and intimate novel about growing up, first love, and all the joy and heartbreak of competitive high school basketball

“Brilliant … so alive and vibrating that it took my breath away.”—Kevin Wilson, New York Times bestselling author of Nothing to See Here

Star point guard Mack Morris’s senior year of high school begins with twin cataclysms: the death of Mack’s father and the arrival of transfer student Liv Cooper. Playing side by side for their high school basketball team, Mack and Liv discover an electrifying, game-winning chemistry on the court. Off the court, they fall into an equally intoxicating more-than-friendship—one that feels out-of-bounds in their small Pennsylvania town. Mack teeters on the precipice of adulthood as desire and grief collide with drugs, sex, and the looming college signing deadline. Caught between the dual impulses of ambition and self-destruction, Mack must decide what kind of life they want to fight for.

Written with the lush longing of Andre Aciman’s Call Me By Your Name,the obsessive attention of Jean Kyoung Frazier’s Pizza Girl, and with all the romance and feeling of the beloved 2000 movie Love & Basketball, A Sharp Endless Need is a stunning testament to the big feelings of coming-of-age, falling in love, and, of course, playing sports.

A Novel

A Sharp Endless Need

Lindsay

I want acceptance. I want to find a way to sit with my grief, to let it coexist with all the goodness.

I want to love long and hard; I want that long, hard love to be my legacy. I want zero regrets. No, I want to marry my regrets. To find a way to adore them for their sharp endless need.

I didn't respond - what was there to say but everything?

and I remember how claustrophobic I felt, in this body, in this town, in this stupid heart that wouldn't stop splintering

A normal person would have locked this ball up in a glass case, but not Liv. I liked that she loved it enough to ruin it. It's how I wanted Liv to feel about me.

"Fine, it's just, I can tell basketball is maybe covering something else up."

I frowned at her but quickly fixed my face, realizing Dani's comment hadn't actually perturbed me; it was quite the opposite, in fact. I thought nothing was sexier than being picked apart this way. I felt as if Dani were performing an autopsy on me while I was still alive.

And just like that, my high was gone, and once again, I was made of earthly things, meat and bone and connective tissue.

And maybe that was what I wanted - to be decimated beyond recognition so I would have no choice but to rebuild, without the influence of others.

The trick, I knew, was to be the one to give yourself worth - then no one could take it away at a moment's notice. But who knew how to do that?

I wondered what it meant to be worthy of someone's attention and affection. A person's worth implied the presence of another, someone to assign that value

After all, it's hard to be the authority on yourself when the whole world is leading you astray. And sometimes you need someone to remind you who you are and who you want.

Now, like always, Liv and I were the only two to shower after the game, both in our black Nike slides to avoid some nasty foot shit, everyone else too insecure or prude to strip down in front of one another and step into an open shower. Or was it that they were too suspicious of what it might mean for several girls to be naked in front of one another without the presence of boys? In a college communications class, I learned about the Bechdel Test and thought this might be the nude equivalent. Could at least two girls show their tits and vaginas to each other without a male witness? And would the two girls have names? Names people knew without their jerseys? What if one of the girls wasn't really a girl at all, but something she had no language for?

He was ruining my high with his self-pity, but I was prepared to let him. Maybe that was what love was, sacrificing your high for your best friend.

And the worst part is, they count on me to have the best weed and pills, but when they take drugs, it's cool, it's partying, but when I take drugs, I'm a druggie.

If this were a game, I'd have looked at the ref for guidance. I had no idea whose possession it was, whose turn it was to make something both beautiful and wretched. I found myself thinking about beauty, what it was, all the things we got wrong about it, all the ways we misunderstood it. I thought whatever beauty was, its opposite wasn't ugliness, but sanity, sense. Liv was so beautiful I felt insane. 

What do you do with a desire that doesn't desire you back? I now know that wanting isn't the end of something. Sometimes you can fill a desire with an alternative - say, a pill instead of that teammate you would run blindfolded into a fire for - and sometimes, if you're lucky enough, you can fill your emptiness with more emptiness, like how air fills a room but no one ever things of it that way except for scientists.

As soon as the smoke hit my lungs, I felt better. I wouldn't go so far as to say weed made me feel happy to be alive, but it made me happy despite being alive.

Just like that, I'd forgiven her for her ignorance. I felt exposed. There was, and still is, a divine pleasure in having someone peel back all the layers and scoop out all the much in order to get a good look at you. As egotistical as it is, I admit, I wanted to hear about myself, from someone who was always watching, always studying, always storing that information. Tell me more about me, I wanted to say. Go on.

Why, I wondered, couldn't it always be this way? Just the two of us, simultaneously discovering and destroying the limits of intimacy as we knew them?

There was something about his mannerisms that was practiced, something cultivated, like he was performing the only idea of masculinity that he knew, but something told me if he quit the act, he'd be softer, with a feminine feel to him. I didn't believe he was hitting on me because he wanted to but because of some ideal he'd bought into.

I didn't necessarily care about attracting boys, but I did want to feel attractive to anyone who happened to be looking at me.

It occurred to me that most spectators only like athletes for what they can give them: money, pride, excitement, and entertainment. Otherwise, they'll write them off faster than the time it takes AI to shake a defender.

Some people said basketball was like dancing, you needed rhythm, you needed to feel the ball's desire like you needed your heart to beat right, but we knew, in the deeps of our hips, that basketball was even more erotic than dancing; it was a collaboration, a mutual creation, a way of fucking without touching.

Emma Hak-Kovacs

This book was touching in a way that snuck up on me!

Crane writes with such intimacy that I felt like I was sitting on the bleachers inside Mack’s head, hearing every thought echo against the court.

At first, I thought I was just in for a sports story but it quickly became so much more; a deeply personal exploration of identity, love, grief and what it means to come of age as a queer person.

Basketball might be the backdrop but the real heart of the story here is about self discovery and connection especially the messy, imperfect and sometimes painful ways queer love shapes that journey. Mack’s relationships aren’t just side notes, they’re complex, real and beautifully flawed. 

The story really captures the uncertainties and the small victories of figuring out who you are while navigating a world that often feels unwelcoming or confusing. 

The ending doesn’t tie everything up but honestly I liked that. It leaves you in this bittersweet space, like the game’s over but you’re still standing there watching the court, not quite ready to go home. ♥️

Essence

This book was touching in a way that snuck up on me!

Crane writes with such intimacy that I felt like I was sitting on the bleachers inside Mack’s head, hearing every thought echo against the court.

At first, I thought I was just in for a sports story but it quickly became so much more; a deeply personal exploration of identity, love, grief and what it means to come of age as a queer person.

Basketball might be the backdrop but the real heart of the story here is about self discovery and connection especially the messy, imperfect and sometimes painful ways queer love shapes that journey. Mack’s relationships aren’t just side notes, they’re complex, real and beautifully flawed. 

The story really captures the uncertainties and the small victories of figuring out who you are while navigating a world that often feels unwelcoming or confusing. 

The ending doesn’t tie everything up but honestly I liked that. It leaves you in this bittersweet space, like the game’s over but you’re still standing there watching the court, not quite ready to go home. ♥️

Throughout the entire book, there isn’t a single word that is misplaced or wasted. Crane writes beautifully, creating such an intricate and intimate portrait of grief, love, and dedication. Mack and Liv exist in a bubble, absorbed in each other and in basketball - seeing each other wholly while never being honest with each other about anything. 

A Sharp Endless Need shares the similar, all-consuming honesty like those evoked in Call Me By Your Name and Normal People.

Throughout the entire book, there isn’t a single word that is misplaced or wasted. Crane writes beautifully, creating such an intricate and intimate portrait of grief, love, and dedication. Mack and Liv exist in a bubble, absorbed in each other and in basketball - seeing each other wholly while never being honest with each other about anything. 

A Sharp Endless Need shares the similar, all-consuming honesty like those evoked in Call Me By Your Name and Normal People.

Check the trigger warnings first. I went in blind to this eARC.

Set in a small Pennsylvania town, Mack has just lost her father, but gained a new basketball friend in Liv.

2004 was not yet a time where being lesbian was really accepted and thus Mack has to hide a substantial part of herself.

Being a teen myself around that time really adds to the uncomfortableness of reading this book and recognizing forced behavior.

The pacing is very slow, which gives the book a well rounded feel for living in a small town and waiting to decide what to do after high school.

It’s also very interesting going into what it is like for these young talented kids having to chose if they want to try to persue a career in sports.

However the languid pace that lets the reader in keeps up for too long and I just wasn’t invested or riveted enough to appreciate the last third of the book. Pity because it has a lot of elements that could make it stellar.

Suzanne

Check the trigger warnings first. I went in blind to this eARC.

Set in a small Pennsylvania town, Mack has just lost her father, but gained a new basketball friend in Liv.

2004 was not yet a time where being lesbian was really accepted and thus Mack has to hide a substantial part of herself.

Being a teen myself around that time really adds to the uncomfortableness of reading this book and recognizing forced behavior.

The pacing is very slow, which gives the book a well rounded feel for living in a small town and waiting to decide what to do after high school.

It’s also very interesting going into what it is like for these young talented kids having to chose if they want to try to persue a career in sports.

However the languid pace that lets the reader in keeps up for too long and I just wasn’t invested or riveted enough to appreciate the last third of the book. Pity because it has a lot of elements that could make it stellar.

Emma Hak-Kovacs &
A Sharp Endless Need by Marisa Crane

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Emma Hak-Kovacs &A Sharp Endless Need by Marisa Crane

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Emma Hak-Kovacs &
A Sharp Endless Need by Marisa Crane