Name: Aina's review of I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman
Item: I Who Have Never Known Men
Rating: 5
Author: Aina

Jacqueline Harpman

A haunting, heartbreaking post-apocalyptic tale of female friendship and intimacy. 'A small miracle' The New York Times 'For a very long time, the days went by, each just like the day before, then I began to think, and everything changed' Deep underground, thirty-nine women live imprisoned in a cage. Watched over by guards, the women have no memory of how they got there, no notion of time, and only vague recollection of their lives before. As the burn of electric light merges day into night and numberless years pass, a young girl - the fortieth prisoner - sits alone and outcast in the corner. Soon she will show herself to be the key to the others' escape and survival in the strange world that awaits them above ground. WITH A NEW INTRODUCTION BY SOPHIE MACKINTOSH, MAN BOOKER PRIZE-LONGLISTED AUTHOR OF THE WATER CURE

I Who Have Never Known Men

Moi qui n'ai pas connu les hommes

nhu ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

It is strange that I am dying from a diseased womb, I who have never had periods and who have never known men.

But if that person comes, they will read them and I will have a time in their mind. 

I felt like sitting down on the ground and weeping, but, luckily, my anger was the stronger and drove me on. 

It all seemed incredibly strange, sinister and moving. I felt the burden of the inexplicable, of my life, of that world to which I was the sole witness.

They’d been custodians of the absurd, carrying out orders whose purpose they were unaware of, themselves having to submit to incomprehensible rules, and perhaps they had no more idea of our identity than we did of theirs. 

Of course, all I have to do is try, but I don’t seem to want to. And what does it matter if I’ve become mute in a world where there is no one to talk to?

We had survived the prison, the plain and the loss of all hope, but the women had discovered that survival is no more than putting off the moment of death. 

Sometimes, as I returned to the group around the fire, I’d feel a rush of emotion; I was moved by the flickering of the flames in the night, the silhouettes of the women resting, the interplay of words or Denise’s reedy voice carrying the laments of another era across the plain, and I understood what Anthea called beauty, which apparently had been so abundant in their world.”

Perhaps, somewhere, humanity is flourishing under the stars, unaware that a daughter of its blood is ending her days in silence. There is nothing we can do about it.

You’ve never seen a child, you don’t know what it means – their vulnerability, their trust, the love you feel for them, the anxiety, being ready to lay down your life to save them, and it’s unbearable to imagine a child’s pain.

“We come from a world where it wasn’t necessary, everything was ready-made and we never asked how things were produced,’ replied Frances.

I thought it was unfair, and then I understood that, alone and terrified, anger was my only weapon against the horror.

I felt as if this pain would never be appeased, that it had me in its grip for ever, that it would prevent me from devoting myself to anything else, and that I was allowing it to do so. 

Grace McCarter

Do people build roads that suddenly vanish? 

It was plain that this time they would not be caught unawares, as must have happened in the past. That they wouldn’t allow themselves to be overtaken by events, like terrified creatures that could be led to the slaughterhouse because they could not conceive of the slaughterhouse.

What a horrid little prig I was. I prided myself and revelled in having found a distraction that I thought was extraordinary. I felt as if I was being hounded by a mob, whereas we were all equally helpless prisoners. Isolated due to my young age and the constraints imposed on us, perhaps – like the others – I needed to create an illusion to enable me to cope with the misery.

Aina

Perhaps you never have time when you are alone? You only acquire it by watching it go by in others.

Feelings remain a mystery to me, perhaps because the sensations associated with them are foreign to me, or because they repel me as did physical contact, which seems to be so important in love.

Death is sometimes so discreet that it steals in noiselessly, stays for only a moment and carries off its prey, and I didn't notice the change.

And what does it matter if l've become mute in a world where there is no one to talk to?

None wanted to endure pain and I think they were in a hurry to die. I don't know how many I killed – I who count everything, that was one thing I didn't count.

The women had discovered that survival is no more than putting off the moment of death.

I was forced to acknowledge too late, much too late, that I too had loved, that I was capable of suffering and that I was human after all.

gripping, easy to follow plot which had me turning each page as quick as possible. maybe food for nihilism. more nihilist than feminist i think. 

soochie

‘You are the only one of us who belongs to this country.’

‘No, this country belongs to me. I will be its sole owner and everything here will be mine.’

When I first started this book it took me a long time to settle into it, I even thought about DNF'ing for a moment there. The way this is written makes it a very difficult read, and not just because of the dark, horrifying topic but also because of the style. There are no chapters, this is 175 pages of pure rambling memory as our nameless FMC recounts her life story. You can tell she is writing from a place of ignorance and lack of education, and in the beginning I found that hard to follow, but as the story unfolds you start to understand why, see that this is intentional and it is part of what makes this story so much more profound. I am so glad I continued. Even if I cannot say I enjoyed this story, because I did not, it was horrible, despairing, bleak and depressing, I can say that this was an experience and one that I am glad to have taken. This novel explores what it means to be human when stripped of society, culture, and of most relationships, it investigates isolation, identity, and finding yourself and sisterhood. It is truly a unique read.

"It is impossible to predict what might happen in a world where you don’t know the rules."

I read the Afterword at the end of this book by Sophie Mackintosh and found that it is perfect in summing up exactly what I was thinking. I have never read something that so masterfully balances horror, hopelessness and hopefullness all in such a short amount of pages. Somehow, despite the lack of what we would know as "life" and an actual plot, as such, this story manages to weave together world building, setting, character development, exploration of many deep themes, and delivers a story that makes you want to keep reading. The mentions throughout this story of a "refuge" and indications that our FMC is somewhere where she can write down her story gives you hope that everything will be alright, and isn't that just so human of us? That in the face of pure desolation we still grasp onto those tiny moments of wishful thinking, of compassion and connection, and that is what drives us forward even when we feel like giving up. We see our FMC come of age, explore sexuality, learn to be a person as the only child amoung adult women, battle those feelings of isolation even when surrounded by others because you're not quite the same as they are, but also knowing you are exactly the same as them at a base level, too. The exploration of love, death, curiosity, dignity, femininity and gender was truly amazing - this world is devoid of men, yet not idealised as a utopia but shows both the peace and limitations of this existence. This is really going to stick with me for a long time.

Overall, this is an extremely tough read, at points you will feel bored, and the story will seem monotonous and so dreary, but for me this helped form a connection with these women, because they were feeling the same thing 100x more deeply. I felt such an array of emotions reading this, I laughed, I cried, I was angry, I was exhausted, I wanted to put the book down and never continue, and I also couldn't tear my eyes away from the page. This is a journey, and it's a hard road, and it will leave you wanting just as it tells you in the beginning, but for me, I felt it was worth it. It was one of those stories that makes you sit and stare at a wall for hours after finishing it. I had dreams about this book last night. Going into it I didn't expect it to impact me like it did, but it sure did. The imagery is lonely, surreal, and haunting, the prose is basic and yet also lyrical and heartwrenching. The ambiguity is so evocative - why were they caged in a bunker? What was the disaster? Where are they? Is she really all alone, or is the fact the story is being told as if it's a journal a hint that there was someone else who found it? What the heck is going on? This is a study in pure human existence that blends science fiction with philosophy, and while it certainly won't resonate or connect with everyone, I think you should at least try to give it a read.

‘Lord, if you’re up there somewhere, and you aren’t too busy, come and say a few words to me, because I’m very lonely and it would make me so happy.’

Genevieve 

‘You are the only one of us who belongs to this country.’
‘No, this country belongs to me. I will be its sole owner and everything here will be mine.’

4.5⭐

Oh my. Holy shit.

When I first started this book it took me a long time to settle into it, I even thought about DNF'ing for a moment there. The way this is written makes it a very difficult read, and not just because of the dark, horrifying topic but also because of the style. There are no chapters, this is 175 pages of pure rambling memory as our nameless FMC recounts her life story. You can tell she is writing from a place of ignorance and lack of education, and in the beginning I found that hard to follow, but as the story unfolds you start to understand why, see that this is intentional and it is part of what makes this story so much more profound. I am so glad I continued. Even if I cannot say I enjoyed this story, because I did not, it was horrible, despairing, bleak and depressing, I can say that this was an experience and one that I am glad to have taken. This novel explores what it means to be human when stripped of society, culture, and of most relationships, it investigates isolation, identity, and finding yourself and sisterhood. It is truly a unique read.

"It is impossible to predict what might happen in a world where you don’t know the rules."

I read the Afterword at the end of this book by Sophie Mackintosh and found that it is perfect in summing up exactly what I was thinking. I have never read something that so masterfully balances horror, hopelessness and hopefullness all in such a short amount of pages. Somehow, despite the lack of what we would know as "life" and an actual plot, as such, this story manages to weave together world building, setting, character development, exploration of many deep themes, and delivers a story that makes you want to keep reading. The mentions throughout this story of a "refuge" and indications that our FMC is somewhere where she can write down her story gives you hope that everything will be alright, and isn't that just so human of us? That in the face of pure desolation we still grasp onto those tiny moments of wishful thinking, of compassion and connection, and that is what drives us forward even when we feel like giving up. We see our FMC come of age, explore sexuality, learn to be a person as the only child amoung adult women, battle those feelings of isolation even when surrounded by others because you're not quite the same as they are, but also knowing you are exactly the same as them at a base level, too. The exploration of love, death, curiosity, dignity, femininity and gender was truly amazing - this world is devoid of men, yet not idealised as a utopia but shows both the peace and limitations of this existence. This is really going to stick with me for a long time.

Overall, this is an extremely tough read, at points you will feel bored, and the story will seem monotonous and so dreary, but for me this helped form a connection with these women, because they were feeling the same thing 100x more deeply. I felt such an array of emotions reading this, I laughed, I cried, I was angry, I was exhausted, I wanted to put the book down and never continue, and I also couldn't tear my eyes away from the page. This is a journey, and it's a hard road, and it will leave you wanting just as it tells you in the beginning, but for me, I felt it was worth it. It was one of those stories that makes you sit and stare at a wall for hours after finishing it. I had dreams about this book last night. Going into it I didn't expect it to impact me like it did, but it sure did. The imagery is lonely, surreal, and haunting, the prose is basic and yet also lyrical and heartwrenching. The ambiguity is so evocative - why were they caged in a bunker? What was the disaster? Where are they? Is she really all alone, or is the fact the story is being told as if it's a journal a hint that there was someone else who found it? What the heck is going on? This is a study in pure human existence that blends science fiction with philosophy, and while it certainly won't resonate or connect with everyone, I think you should at least try to give it a read.

‘Lord, if you’re up there somewhere, and you aren’t too busy, come and say a few words to me, because I’m very lonely and it would make me so happy.’

An intriguing opening, a profound ending, and a whole lot of plodding in between, after a provocative reveal. 

Her penchant for hinting at what's ahead works really well.

c0up

An intriguing opening, a profound ending, and a whole lot of plodding in between, after a provocative reveal. 

Wish the middle resonated more.

Her penchant for hinting at what's ahead works really well.

I loved this book. I have had this in my kindle library for so long and I wish I had read it sooner. Such a well written story and full of emotion, despite so much of the story including minimal dialogue. I have already recommended this to people and can't see myself stopping

Soph

Never been so hopeless and hopeful at the same time. This book scares me lol  

Marsh

thought provoking, monstrous, in a way. delved into the book expecting more of a suspense storytelling, bringing me to the depths of this dystopian world, but instead was left with a lingering thought of humanity and what it's like to be stripped away from it.

finished this book yesterday but needed some time to sit with it. honestly thought this was the kind of book that brings you into this immersive storytelling of the dystopian world, but instead the quite opposite happened, author not really giving any answers, but a solitude of feeling of what it's like to be stripped away from freedom, and even if you do earn it, you're back into another world of an endless string of humanity that sees no way out. the idea that the narrator was never content, and always wanted to know more somehow thought of her as more 'human' than the others. these weren't humans, they were more like animals.

its retention of femininity, the essential almost minimalist world-building, the characterisation of the youngest child, the almost eulogy-like style and tone, it was a wonderful read, i think if the author were to go into this direction in writing, i would've liked the writing to be more impactful and personal, it just seems the writing in the end was trying to make it look like there was a lot going on physically, instead of actually trying to put into words the mental feelings of what humanity being stripped away feels like before actually leaving it. i liked it, but i expected more of an impact, not like in terms of storytelling, but feelings. still beautiful, a wonderful world building story built on the world of womanhood and building yourself a personality wishing for a world where you would have known men, in the sense that you never will.

Alysha

thought provoking, monstrous, in a way. delved into the book expecting more of a suspense storytelling, bringing me to the depths of this dystopian world, but instead was left with a lingering thought of humanity and what it's like to be stripped away from it.

finished this book yesterday but needed some time to sit with it. honestly thought this was the kind of book that brings you into this immersive storytelling of the dystopian world, but instead the quite opposite happened, author not really giving any answers, but a solitude of feeling of what it's like to be stripped away from freedom, and even if you do earn it, you're back into another world of an endless string of humanity that sees no way out. the idea that the narrator was never content, and always wanted to know more somehow thought of her as more 'human' than the others. these weren't humans, they were more like animals.

its retention of femininity, the essential almost minimalist world-building, the characterisation of the youngest child, the almost eulogy-like style and tone, it was a wonderful read, i think if the author were to go into this direction in writing, i would've liked the writing to be more impactful and personal, it just seems the writing in the end was trying to make it look like there was a lot going on physically, instead of actually trying to put into words the mental feelings of what humanity being stripped away feels like before actually leaving it. i liked it, but i expected more of an impact, not like in terms of storytelling, but feelings. still beautiful, a wonderful world building story built on the world of womanhood and building yourself a personality wishing for a world where you would have known men, in the sense that you never will.

talks about existential crisis, loneliness, womanhood, maybe could also be stretched into sense of community. about how a person would experience the vastness of life without ever known what is humanity. bleak as hell, but somehow hopeful.

Thariq Fauzan

I’m not sure how I feel about this book. I started it, not knowing anything about the tone and only knowing the premise of the women underground. This is utterly bleak, and reeks of quiet despair. It is the resounding silence of loneliness and like being in the vacuum of an entirely differently world. Very depressing, I would never reread this because I was so scared/nervous something terrible would happen but it was already happening from the first page. 

Xiang

the census on this book is divided, but i personally love it! packs a punch in a short amount of pages. i love these thought-provoking and reflective novels. also, a world without men sounds nice. 

nattie

"i can say that time exists, but it has passed me by without my feeling it." 

the narrator calling her freedom "hollow" had me with my head in my hands. 

from the moment when she sees the man dead, the mattress man the narrator starts to describe a surge of emotions grief > freedom > love > loss > loneliness. without knowing, what personhood is, without actually experiencing many relationships the humans are still capable of humanness. it was hilarious yet gut wrenching. you can't escape what you are. the open ending ? what was the reason ! 

the ending line has to be one of the most heart shattering words I've ever read.

anyway ! a world without no men, feels tempting. 

walna

horrifying, horrifying, horrifying 

"i can say that time exists, but it has passed me by without my feeling it." 

the narrator calling her freedom "hollow" had me with my head in my hands. 

from the moment when she sees the man dead, the mattress man the narrator starts to describe a surge of emotions grief > freedom > love > loss > loneliness. without knowing, what personhood is, without actually experiencing many relationships the humans are still capable of humanness. it was hilarious yet gut wrenching. you can't escape what you are. the open ending ? what was the reason ! 

the ending line has to be one of the most heart shattering words I've ever read.

anyway ! a world without no men, feels tempting. 

Never before have I encountered an author with so much to say and so little trust that the reader would understand what they have to say. 

Average excerpt: “I looked over and saw the table, but of course, I didn’t know it was a table because I had never seen a table before. I was born in the bunker and had never seen the real world. I was different. While the other women didn’t choose to think about things the way I wanted to think about things, I thought about things that way which is why I knew I was different. It had always been that way.”

Finn James

Never before have I encountered an author with so much to say and so little trust that the reader would understand what they have to say. 

Average excerpt: “I looked over and saw the table, but of course, I didn’t know it was a table because I had never seen a table before. I was born in the bunker and had never seen the real world. I was different. While the other women didn’t choose to think about things the way I wanted to think about things, I thought about things that way which is why I knew I was different. It had always been that way.”

maybe it’s just because i’ve just been relating every piece of media i consume as of late to recent events in my life but this book made me want to **** ******

prachi

Compelling speculative fiction. This made me think so much about what it would be like to simply survive when everything that makes you human and gives you pleasure has been denied to you, where you create the illusion of autonomy in mundane decisions, and the difference between freedom that has been taken away and freedom that has never been experienced. There’s so much to unpack in this around social experiments, emotions, relationships, love, dystopias, utopias and the different ways in which we can face death. I know that I will be thinking about this for a long time.

Laura Dobie

I’ve been looking forward to finally reading this book for a long time now, but unfortunately it felt really flat for me. It’s very rare that a book leaves me feeling absolutely nothing, not anger, or sadness, or happiness or anything, it didn’t affect me in any way.

The writing was okay, there was nothing particularly abhorrent about it, it just felt perfunctory, like someone narrating a very boring sequence of events. I didn’t find anything about the prose particularly interesting, and nothing about the way this book was writing touched me at all.

Usually I don’t mind books without a plot if the characters can hold my interest, but for a book written about the lives of 40 women, it really didn’t try to delve into them or their personalities at all. In fact, it felt at times that the imaginary men got more thought afforded to them. And that’s another thing I don’t understand, why was the focus of this book on men so much? Literally why were they important? The main character’s infatuation with the male guard and her fantasies around him made no sense to me at all. She who has never known men felt enough for some random guard (her jailer mind you) to be able to orgasm just from the thought of him, but couldn’t understand why some of the other women coupled up? And even when the other women did get together it was explained as “we give each other whatever comfort we can” as if it was merely a last resort because there were no men. The whole thing felt so strange to me and I felt like it had really backwards ideas, and those were expressed through a character who is supposedly a blank slate. Speaking of her, having a character like this be the narrator for this book probably aided in me not feeling a single thing. The other female characters are given barely any characteristics beyond very surface level traits. They were so flat and the writing was so monotonous I couldn’t grab on to anything, I couldn’t feel any connection to anyone. Quite frankly, I don’t understand why this is considered feminist.

I felt like this book just asked questions for the sake of asking questions, and didn’t have anything particularly new to say. Even when it did ask a question I hadn’t thought of before, it wasn’t particularly profound and I just didn’t care. It didn’t lead me to think or feel anything deep and I felt annoyed because I could tell it was trying. Just… what the hell guys, what am I missing here?

bel 

I’ve been looking forward to finally reading this book for a long time now, but unfortunately it felt really flat for me. It’s very rare that a book leaves me feeling absolutely nothing, not anger, or sadness, or happiness or anything, it didn’t affect me in any way.

The writing was okay, there was nothing particularly abhorrent about it, it just felt perfunctory, like someone narrating a very boring sequence of events. I didn’t find anything about the prose particularly interesting, and nothing about the way this book was writing touched me at all.

Usually I don’t mind books without a plot if the characters can hold my interest, but for a book written about the lives of 40 women, it really didn’t try to delve into them or their personalities at all. In fact, it felt at times that the imaginary men got more thought afforded to them. And that’s another thing I don’t understand, why was the focus of this book on men so much? Literally why were they important? The main character’s infatuation with the male guard and her fantasies around him made no sense to me at all. She who has never known men felt enough for some random guard (her jailer mind you) to be able to orgasm just from the thought of him, but couldn’t understand why some of the other women coupled up? And even when the other women did get together it was explained as “we give each other whatever comfort we can” as if it was merely a last resort because there were no men. The whole thing felt so strange to me and I felt like it had really backwards ideas, and those were expressed through a character who is supposedly a blank slate. Speaking of her, having a character like this be the narrator for this book probably aided in me not feeling a single thing. The other female characters are given barely any characteristics beyond very surface level traits. They were so flat and the writing was so monotonous I couldn’t grab on to anything, I couldn’t feel any connection to anyone. Quite frankly, I don’t understand why this is considered feminist.

I felt like this book just asked questions for the sake of asking questions, and didn’t have anything particularly new to say. Even when it did ask a question I hadn’t thought of before, it wasn’t particularly profound and I just didn’t care. It didn’t lead me to think or feel anything deep and I felt annoyed because I could tell it was trying. Just… what the hell guys, what am I missing here?

I loved the way this was written but I wish there were chapters to help break it up a bit. I also can’t decide if I love or hate the way that everything was left open-ended. Why did the sirens go off? Where did the guards go? Where are these cabins actually located? Is she the last person on earth? So many questions!

Alicia Evans

Many post-apocalyptic or dystopian novels revolve around questions being answered; this one answers hardly any and is so rewarding for its lonely, introspective journey. What does it mean to be human, to be a woman, in a world post-humanity?

alice

rory

Emilie Fournier

thought-provoking and beautifully explores the essence of humanity and womanhood. one of my favorite reads for sure. 

gishelle

witnessing the narrators curiosity dwindle with age was sad asf. the vibes were once again immaculate in this, i know it’s speculative fiction but like damn i wanted to know so much more about the world and events that lead to the start of this novel

Honestly took me ages to read mainly because of the big the chapters were so I could only pick it up to read when I had absolutely nothing else to do and would not be disturbed for a long time. I did find it very interesting and engaging, was curious from the start to the end and unfortunately still no answers? I guess we will just never know why, how, where or who :’) 

Loved seeing the relationships between the women and their journey after escaping. Their little traditions they created was very moving and I found myself crying way more than I expected to. Something about it was just very heavy and felt very raw? I’m not sure how to explain it but it was very touching in a way I couldn’t really comprehend. Perhaps it was the presence of humanity and sympathy in a world where these women were treated inhumanely and then left alone in a place without any other humans? Or maybe it was the overall idea of what humanity is and isn’t? Idk all I know is I was crying a lot :’) Got very attached to certain characters (MY SWEET SWEET ANTHEA!!) which I always love to seeee! 

Overall, felt very confused, curious and touched throughout while also feeling unsatisfied and frustrated at the ending (but I didn’t see it as a negative at all! I liked the open ending with the lingering mystery and unanswered questions). 

Honestly took me ages to read mainly because of the big the chapters were so I could only pick it up to read when I had absolutely nothing else to do and would not be disturbed for a long time. I did find it very interesting and engaging, was curious from the start to the end and unfortunately still no answers? I guess we will just never know why, how, where or who :’) 

Loved seeing the relationships between the women and their journey after escaping. Their little traditions they created was very moving and I found myself crying way more than I expected to. Something about it was just very heavy and felt very raw? I’m not sure how to explain it but it was very touching in a way I couldn’t really comprehend. Perhaps it was the presence of humanity and sympathy in a world where these women were treated inhumanely and then left alone in a place without any other humans? Or maybe it was the overall idea of what humanity is and isn’t? Idk all I know is I was crying a lot :’) Got very attached to certain characters (MY SWEET SWEET ANTHEA!!) which I always love to seeee! 

Overall, felt very confused, curious and touched throughout while also feeling unsatisfied and frustrated at the ending (but I didn’t see it as a negative at all! I liked the open ending with the lingering mystery and unanswered questions). 

This was my first dystopian book in either ever or God knows how long and I wasn’t mad at it except it was a little boring at times. Did I finish it in two sittings? Yes but I believe it could’ve had a little more depth. But pleasantly surprised as I do not normally like this genre.

Angeleeka

This book was fucked up and depressing but also hopeful. I desperately wanted there to be an answer for why what happened happened. But despite that I think it had showcased a womanhood, humanity, and how even in the face of violence humans can do good. I thought it was quite interesting the theme of them being on another planet came up so much insinuating that humans couldn’t be capable of this horror.  Honestly maybe they were since the landscape was so unrecognizable but yeah. This book made me constantly think and I’m still thinking about it.

Aina &
I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman

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Aina &I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman

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Aina &
I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman