Andrea &
All Grown Up by Jami Attenberg

"Or you might not love anyone at all. You could just not love anyone and that would be fine, even though life is lonely and it might be easier if you do. But you can't be something you're not. You can't." I wanted so much to love this one because it should be instant favorite especially as I love the opening and early chapters so much. but that love got derailed by the middle section and it peaked again nearing the ending but then that ending. ugh

4.5 stars, this one got me right in the gut.

At first I was incredibly annoyed by this book and the main character. She felt unhappy by choice and self-sabotaging. But she grew to be much more complex as Attenberg moved past cliches and formed a human being full of flaws (as we all are). I enjoyed the telling of the story in vignettes moving back and forth in time, and several of Attenberg's beautifully written sentences made me pause.

This is one of those books that some people will love and others will hate. It's an in depth story of a woman told in vignettes and it feels so true it hurts. Andrea is single and drifting. She's not a likable character. She drinks too much and makes terrible choices. But it's clear that some of her issues stem from her inability to separate herself from the expectations others. She doesn't know who or what she is because she only sees herself in relation to others. I loved the writing and I thought it was an interesting look at the expectations that are put on women. Not just by our parents but friends, siblings, in-laws, society as a whole.

This book definitely has a specific style to it but I really enjoyed it. A white girl's existential crises, sure, but it forces you to think about your life and what you want from it. Written beautifully.