Name: Rutik 's review of Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry
Item: Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing
Rating: 4
Author: Rutik

Matthew Perry

The beloved star of Friends takes us behind the scenes of the hit sitcom and his struggles with addiction in this candid, funny, and revelatory memoir that delivers a powerful message of hope and persistence.

“Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead.”

So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who traveled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us. . . and so much more.

In an extraordinary story that only he could tell—and in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it—Matthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he’s found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humor, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all. 

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that is both intimate and eye-opening—as well as a hand extended to anyone struggling with sobriety. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and uproariously funny, this is the book fans have been waiting for.

A Memoir

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

the most beautiful memoir i have ever read in my entire life. i would recommend if you're a fan of any of his works or of his humour! 

Mandy

At the start I was a full on joke man. Cracking gags like a comedy machine whenever I could; probably to the annoyance of everyone. Trying to get everyone to like me because of how funny I was. Because why else would anybody like me? It would take 15 years for me to learn that I didn’t need to be a joke machine. 

Apurva Shah

It sad to see a man loved by all felt lonely and struggled all his life. i love chandler bing. i was reading this while watching friends for the nth time. the behind the scene stuff made it more special but oh man he had a hard life. 

Rutik 

Erin G.

Very unsettling but I enjoyed the 90s/2000s pop culture nostalgia.

Sadie Hoffman

Out of respect for the deceased I can’t bring myself to give this a star rating. RIP Matthew Perry

I decided to listen to this memoir turned autobiography since Matthew himself narrated the book. You can hear it in his voice just how unsatisfying he felt his life really was. Since birth or 30 days after being born he found ways to blame others for the way his life turned out. A life full of excuses and zero responsibility for his own actions is a sad one for sure. 

Addiction is hard for everyone and this is coming from someone who has been raised in a house full of generational addicts. Excuses are often made but ultimately if you want to beat it you have to own up to your own failures. You have to want to be better for yourself. 

Sadly, it seems that Matty only wanted to be better long enough to get his next role or write/produce his next project so he could afford to keep up with the only thing he ever felt truly passionate about. Drugs and alcohol. Even when he talked about family/friends/girlfriends I didn’t get a sense that he genuinely cared about any of them. It came off quite bitter actually. A hint of jealousy behind each mention. 

I adore the work that Matthew Perry has created in the entertainment industry and whether he’s proud of it or not he has left behind a legacy that will carry on for quite some time since I share my love of Friends with my children and know they will want to share it with theirs someday. 

***I truly hope that anyone out there struggling finds something in life worth fighting for and gets the help they truly need. May Matthew Perry rest easy now in the comfort of having finally found God. 

Christa Bell

Out of respect for the deceased I can’t bring myself to give this a star rating. RIP Matthew Perry

I decided to listen to this memoir turned autobiography since Matthew himself narrated the book. You can hear it in his voice just how unsatisfying he felt his life really was. Since birth or 30 days after being born he found ways to blame others for the way his life turned out. A life full of excuses and zero responsibility for his own actions is a sad one for sure. 

Addiction is hard for everyone and this is coming from someone who has been raised in a house full of generational addicts. Excuses are often made but ultimately if you want to beat it you have to own up to your own failures. You have to want to be better for yourself. 

Sadly, it seems that Matty only wanted to be better long enough to get his next role or write/produce his next project so he could afford to keep up with the only thing he ever felt truly passionate about. Drugs and alcohol. Even when he talked about family/friends/girlfriends I didn’t get a sense that he genuinely cared about any of them. It came off quite bitter actually. A hint of jealousy behind each mention. 

I adore the work that Matthew Perry has created in the entertainment industry and whether he’s proud of it or not he has left behind a legacy that will carry on for quite some time since I share my love of Friends with my children and know they will want to share it with theirs someday. 

***I truly hope that anyone out there struggling finds something in life worth fighting for and gets the help they truly need. May Matthew Perry rest easy now in the comfort of having finally found God. 

One of the most honest autobiographies I’ve ever read! I cannot imagine someone who was battling through shit(literally on some days) pull millions of his fans out from shit and make them believe in miracles. It’s funny in some parts, sad in others but mostly it is very good storytelling. 

Nuvena Rajendran

Matthew Perry’s autobiographical recount of his life, and the trials he’s faced, was absolutely heartbreaking. He was one of my favourite actors, and getting to know him on a deeper level was so intense and fascinating. Reading this after his death added another level of heartbreak. If you or someone you love have dealt with addiction or a struggle to find peace and balance in life, I absolutely recommend this read. 

A man taken too soon. RIP Matthew Perry. 

Alyssa deRaad

Matthew Perry’s autobiographical recount of his life, and the trials he’s faced, was absolutely heartbreaking. He was one of my favourite actors, and getting to know him on a deeper level was so intense and fascinating. Reading this after his death added another level of heartbreak. If you or someone you love have dealt with addiction or a struggle to find peace and balance in life, I absolutely recommend this read. 

A man taken too soon. RIP Matthew Perry. 

It was almost so good I was tempted to watch “friends”.

I actually teared up while reading this, and felt so connected to Matthew’s story by the end.

It’s just a real shame what happened and all of the hopes that he had. Real shame.

Sarah Campbell

This read was so good.
It was almost so good I was tempted to watch “friends”.
I won’t, but I was tempted.
I actually teared up while reading this, and felt so connected to Matthew’s story by the end.
It’s just a real shame what happened and all of the hopes that he had. Real shame.

Such a difficult book to read, specially after his death. The book took energy to go through as the content was heartbreaking. I picked it up and told myself I would finish it so I kept going, but honestly while reading some of the chapters I wanted to hit my head against the wall.

HelyaSameni

Been on my tbr list since it’s been out. Started it, unfortunately, after he passed. I chose the audiobook cause it seemed like the most appropriate choice. It has been heartbreaking listening to it. He will be really missed. 

Martina Mancarella

This brutally honest autobiography chronicles the actor's path through friendships, relationships, and the dark depths of addiction. While unflinchingly detailed, the writing suffers from occasional editing issues.

Liana

Started reading before the news, finished after he'd passed. I think this made it mean a lot more.

Jade Waistnidge

Bárbara

I was fascinated by Matthew's story, consisting mainly of the Big Terrible Thing, in other words, addiction. This book describes his life growing up and how he got into acting, but it also describes deeper problems, mainly his drug addiction, and how he overcame it... time and time again. How he fell back in after getting free and then cleaning up his act again. It gives a better view of what the addict is feeling and, sometimes, bafflingly, why he goes back to it—a great read and worth reading.

Frank Enns

michelle cardone

I feel obligated to write an honest review of this book to offset all the silly people giving it one star simply because of his facetious joke about Keanu. Like many people, I was drawn to this book as a huge Friends fan and Chandler lover. But to be clear, this was never a "tell-all" about Friends, nor did I expect it to be - it is an earnest and extremely transparent account of someone who has struggled his entire life with addiction. He abandons most attempts to hide the uglier truths of himself in the spirit of helping other addicts, and that makes the spirit of this book truly, in my opinion, commendable. 
I gave this only 3 stars for a couple of reasons: mainly, I found it extremely repetitive. Perhaps because it isn't written entirely chronologically, I found myself feeling like I was going crazy because some parts are verbatim repeated. Secondly, while he seems extremely self-aware about his addiction, he seems very UN self-aware in other ways. It is clear that his struggles with addiction have dominated his consciousness and therefore some of his stories and anecdotes feel incomplete and one-sided. He seems apologetic for some of that, but ultimately impacted my enjoyment of the book.
Overall, this is a worthwhile read and did not negatively impact my opinion of Matthew Perry. It has it's funny moments, but overall is a somber story. Those wanting a saccharine account of behind-the-scenes Friends antics will have to wait for Ross' memoir.

Although this memoir gives heartwarming insight to Perry’s life and difficult background, it has a hard to follow narrative. There also seems to be a justification and rationalization for controversial decisions and hurt that Perry caused. Moreover, there seems to be a bragging undertone when discussing Perry’s endeavors, which makes it a bit of a tasteless memoir to follow. Comedic overall, but not the best memoir compared to others. 

hanna pomaski 

Tuago

As a Friends fan I was very curious about this book. However, it mostly deals with Perry’s troubles with drugs and rehab so it didn’t match my expectations.

It’s very hard to find any empathy for Matthew Perry as he comes off as a narcissist who hurt a lot of people in his life. Some people are never given a chance in life, and here we have someone who was given everything and threw it away over and over again and then writes a book about it. 

It’s hard to find a reason for this book besides the author’s ego as it might just give everyone who reads it, and especially the ones who feature in it, a big bout of cringe.

I love this man and the message of the book. ‚The path of least resistance is boring, and scars are interesting - they tell an honest story, and they are proof that a battle was fought‘

Lili

He really went into depth about his struggles and where everything started from! A really wonderful read, since loving him in friends and now loving him even more, this book means a lot to me.

Robyn Harley

I do not read a lot of non fiction, but in this case I knew that this book will be a good one.

Like Chandler Bing kind of funny goofy good one.

Well it wasn't. Knowing what I know after listening this book, I feel so sorry for this man, and it permanently scared me and ruined Friends for me as a sitcom.

Addiction is a disease, and I respect this man because he was breave enough to share his story, which is a hardcore one.

Sophie

I do not read a lot of non fiction, but in this case I knew that this book will be a good one.
Like Chandler Bing kind of funny goofy good one.

Well it wasn't. Knowing what I know after listening this book, I feel so sorry for this man, and it permanently scared me and ruined Friends for me as a sitcom.

Addiction is a disease, and I respect this man because he was breave enough to share his story, which is a hardcore one.




Kristen Claiborn

I am a member of multiple book groups on Facebook. I love reading others’ opinions about whatever books they’re reading. The comments are usually short and to the point, rarely more than two or three sentences. I have also found it interesting how often people decide they have to comment about books they didn’t enjoy. Book people are harsh. These members will throw down a short “I loved this book,” for one they enjoyed, but will spend paragraphs ripping apart books they hated. I haven’t come across a book since Verity that was as polarizing as this one was. 
	Addiction is a bitch. People have mixed opinions and emotions about addiction. There is the “addiction is weakness” camp, then there’s the “addiction is a disease” camp. As somebody who is currently battling an unhealthy addiction and who has loved people with addictions, I don’t have time for the former camp. Addiction is a disease, plain and simple. It’s also incurable, it will be fought for the remainder of the life of the addict. Addiction needs attention. Addiction needs to be talked about. There are very few people alive today that don’t know somebody who is battling some form of toxic addiction, from cigarettes (friggin nicotine) to booze, pills to street drugs. We need to have a constant narrative, and addicts need to be treated, not ostracized. When an addict decides to open up their story, whether to a single person or to a larger audience like Matthew Perry did, it is in our best interests to pay attention to what they’re saying. 
	Matthew Perry seemed to have a lot going for him, so it was a complete shock to fans when he disclosed his battle with drugs and alcohol. How does a guy with the world in his hands need to seek solace at the bottom of a bottle of vodka? Many of the reviews I read from readers who didn’t like this book were irritated with how out of touch with reality Perry seemed to be. My feelings are that is the point. Matthew Perry was living a life most of us can only dream of having. Yet, despite his fame and money, he was quietly fighting this need for alcohol on a daily, even hourly basis. For those of us that live mundane, middle-class, suburban lives, alcoholism makes sense. Daily drudgery, debt, etc; it makes sese we would try to feel better through chemical enhancement. Why does the guy who makes a million dollars a week need to drink so much? I feel like that is why this book is so good. Matthew Perry seemed to have it all, but clearly he had things he was missing, just like many of us. If one of the stars on one of the most popular TV comedies of all time can fall victim to addiction, it could happen to anybody. 
	The Keanu Reeves quips were a bit odd. I fully agree with everybody on that. I feel like I need an explanation for those. Otherwise, this is a great adventure through the life and mind of a celebrity addict. It’s definitely worth reading.

Olivia smith 

I love friends and chandler bing, little did we know about the person behind the scenes. Matthew Perry’s story hits close to home and gives us hope. I laughed and cried while reading. Highly recommend!

Matthew Perry has always been one of my most favourite actors. His character on Friends, Chandler always drew me to him with his ability to make a joke out of everything, including his trauma. Reading this memoir showed me that Matthew is just like Chandler in that regard and it felt so refreshing and real to read.

“Addiction is like the Joker. It just wants to see the whole world burn.”

This was heartbreaking to read but as someone who has struggled with addiction, this meant something very special to me. I am so proud of how far Matthew has come.

A compelling, vulnerable and emotional book that doesn’t shy away from hard topics and ugly truths. I found it very inspiring - the audiobook is also beautifully read by Perry himself.

Apurva Shah &
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry

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Apurva Shah &
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry