Andy Borowitz

How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

Profiles in Ignorance

Amazon.com (Firm)

A True Story

An Unexpected Twist

Reaching back to Mark Twain and forward to contemporary masters such as David Sedaris, Roy Blount, and Bernie Mac, this book is an exclusive collection of the very best American comic writing.

An Anthology of Humor from Mark Twain to the Onion

The 50 Funniest American Writers

Prepare to be shocked. From the man The Wall Street Journal hailed as a "Swiftean satirist" comes the most shocking book ever written! The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers, by award-winning fake journalist Andy Borowitz, contains page after page of "news stories" too hot, too controversial, too -- yes, shocking -- for the mainstream press to handle. Sample the groundbreaking reporting from the news organization whose motto is "Give us thirty minutes -- we'll waste it."

The Big Book of Shockers

The Borowitz Report

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER * WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER *WASHINGTON POST BESTSELLER * Andy Borowitz, “one of the funniest people in America” (CBS Sunday Morning), brilliantly “chronicles our embrace of anti-intellectualism” (Walter Isaacson) in American politics, from Ronald Reagan to Dan Quayle, from George W. Bush to Sarah Palin, to its apotheosis in Donald J. Trump. Andy Borowitz has been called a “Swiftian satirist” (The Wall Street Journal) and “one of the country’s finest satirists” (The New York Times). Millions of fans and New Yorker readers enjoy his satirical news column “The Borowitz Report.” Now, in Profiles in Ignorance, he delivers “a wittily alarming polemic that tracks the evolution of American politics from grounds for gravitas to festival of idiocy” (The New York Times). Borowitz argues that over the past fifty years, American politicians have grown increasingly allergic to knowledge, and mass media have encouraged the election of ignoramuses by elevating candidates who are better at performing than thinking. Starting with Ronald Reagan’s first campaign for governor of California in 1966 and culminating with the election of Donald J. Trump to the White House, Borowitz shows how, during the age of twenty-four-hour news and social media, the US has elected politicians to positions of great power whose lack of the most basic information is terrifying. In addition to Reagan, Quayle, Bush, Palin, and Trump, Borowitz covers a host of congresspersons, senators, and governors who have helped lower the bar over the past five decades. Profiles in Ignorance aims to make us both laugh and cry: laugh at the idiotic antics of these public figures, and cry at the cataclysms these icons of ignorance have caused. But most importantly, the book delivers a call to action and a cause for optimism: History doesn’t move in a straight line, and we can change course if we act now.

When Getting Rich Quick Just Isn't Fast Enough!Many day trading books on the market today contain dubious advice, but never before has there been a book guaranteed to contain 100 percent dubious advice--until now. The Trillionaire Next Door is that book. Inside you'll find: The rock-solid, scientific principles of day trading explained in language so clear and concise it's almost insulting A glossary of key economic terms for the day trader, like "mousepad" and "click" Advice for the long-term investor: which stocks to hold in your portfolio for five, ten, fifteen minutes or more Confusing, meaningless graphs and charts Bad math And much, much more--but since day traders have short attention spans, not too much more "If The Trillionaire Next Door were a stock, I'd buy it, sell it, buy it, sell it, and buy it again--it's that good!" --Stacy Gellman, day trader

The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading

The Trillionaire Next Door

Attention, CEOs: Finally, a book you don't have to cook! If you're a CEO who's just been caught, this is the book you won't want to be caught without. Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison is loaded with helpful tips, including: • How to go from "bitch" to "boss" in one week or less • The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Prisoners • Complete prison-slang/corporate-speak glossary • Prison cell feng shui • How to avoid getting back-stabbed -- literally • The Zagat guide to fine prison dining

The CEO's Guide to Surviving Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition

Who Moved My Soap?

They threw the book at Madoff. Now here's the book he needs. While many books are offered for the CEO who aims to survive the cutthroat competition of the corporate jungle, not a single one offers to help those same CEOs when the law catches up with them. That is, until now. This book offers valuable advice for those executives who have cooked the books, and now find themselves paying the price. Borowitz covers all aspects of prison life, from exit strategies (prison-break tips) to ways of keeping the business acumen sharp (how to make the Warden your most valuable employee) to prison cell feng shui and even self-defense (how to use this book as a deadly weapon). Convicted corporate executives should look at this time spent in prison as an opportunity, rather than a disadvantage. New business contacts can be established, new management strategies tested-time can even be spent working on the golf game so it says sharp for ten, twenty, however many years. Direct from Bernie Madoff's cellmate, Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison is loaded with helpful tips, including: Complete Corporate-Speak/Prison Slang Glossary How to earn $$$ making vanity license plates Trophy wives, and how to avoid becoming one How to avoid getting back-stabbed literally Don't forget, Who Moved My Soap? will be both small enough to fit in the pocket of your prison uniform, but also thick enough to hollow out and hide cigarettes in! Who Moved My Soap? is a must read for any white collar criminal. CEOs headed to the Big House will now have something to read to help them pass the time. It's also a must read for those of us who were fleeced by them.

Andy Borowitz

About

Books

Join the club