Dushka Zapata

How to be ferociously happy and other essays

My brain is programmed to identify scarcity. This way, she thinks, I'm more likely to survive. So inside of me rings the angsty voice of my most primal self. You are not enough, she frets. You don't have enough. You probably never will.And then, people. People and their opinions. People often make themselves feel big by making others feel small. Being judged and criticized is a relentless universal experience.And my environment. Companies make money if I believe I need their stuff to make myself adequate. I will be fine but only with the right shoes and the right jeans and the right glow. If you buy this, buy into this, you will finally measure up.Insecurity is big business.But, you know what?I love myself. I love myself just the way I am, and I think you should too.Take that, world.

And Other Insurgent Acts That Recast Everything

Love Yourself

Cocea Mihaela

When Dushka Zapata comes across any perspective in life that she finds useful or that contributes to her suffering less, she writes about it. This book is a collection of those lessons she hopes prove useful to others. This book is not intended to be read cover to cover but rather in snippets of time across the day.

And Other Things I Recommend

A Spectacular Catastrophe

Melissa Stroud

When you were born you took deep breaths right away. You proceeded to accomplish truly complicated things: you learned to talk and walk and write. Language is complex and daunting and you did it. You already come equipped to be good at many things. The ability to pick them up is part of your original composition. Trust that.

And Other Essays

How to Be Ferociously Happy

Your brain is like water. You've poured it into a glass shaped like the company you work for and it takes time for it to adopt another shape. No matter how burnt out you feel today your brain has an almost infinite ability to reshape itself. It can go from that glass to a vase to a pitcher to rain to a waterfall to a gentle spray. It can cast rainbows, carve rivers. It is an ocean. You are more than an iteration. You are abundance, a collection, not a thing. No matter what anyone says about your poor or astounding performance you are not a star - you are constellations. Never underestimate your wondrous brain's ability to decant itself into something breathtaking, splendid and new.

And Other Ways to Show Your Ego Who's Boss

Demote Yourself

This pandemic and the need to socially distance tested all my boundary setting skills. It reminded me that when it comes to setting boundaries, we are all amateurs.I took notes of things I recently learned and collected pieces I've written in the past in an attempt to assemble a manual focused on boundaries: where to start, what they are for, how to express them, how to enforce them and what they sound like.This means this collection does include essays you might also come across in my other books.I hope reading through this is as helpful to you as creating it was for me.

And Why No One Else Can Save You

How to Draw Your Boundaries

I fell out of a tree once. I like to climb and survey the view and leaned on the wrong branch.Falling hurt a lot but that view gave me good reason to climb trees every chance I got.I fell off my bike too, many times before and after learning how to ride it. I have a big scar on my left arm that hurt so much I saw stars. The times I ride a bicycle I feel free.An ex inadvertently taught me how unhealthy it was to allow my life to be all about my relationship. It hurt a lot to break up with him but in doing so I found myself. Here is what I can tell you with certainty: anything worthwhile will make you suffer."Potential pain" is not sound criteria for whether or not to try something. Because, you might risk missing out on everything.

Dushka Zapata

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