Marie Phillips

The twelve gods of Olympus are alive and well in the twenty-first century, but they are crammed together in a London townhouse--and none too happy about it. Even more disturbingly, their powers are waning.... [and] a minor squabble between Aphrodite and A

A Novel

Gods Behaving Badly

Down-on-his-luck, knight of Camelot and his eccentric band of misfits, Sir Humphrey du Val has had enough. Relegated to the Table of Less Valued Knights, he has been banned by King Arthur from going on quests, and hasn't left the castle in 15 years. After a chance meeting with Elaine a young maiden in search of her kidnapped fiancé, Sir Humphrey, along with his squire Conrad (an undersized giant) and Jemima (Conrad's elephant), sets off on a journey to find the distressed damsel's betrothed hoping to restore himself to a place of honour at the Round Table. Meanwhile, Martha, an errant queen on the run from her new power-hungry husband, is in disguise and on a quest of her own to find her long-lost brother, the true ruler of her realm. Martha soon runs--literally--into Humphrey's eccentric group, who take the incognito queen captive, believing her to be a boy. As they journey through countryside, castles and villages, they gather unlikely friends and enemies along the way. While each member of the party secretly harbours their own ambitions for the quest, their collective success, and the fate of the realm, rests on their grudging cooperation and unexpectedly.

The Table of Less Valued Knights

Midway through our lives, we wonder how we ended up here - secretly wishing we could set flame to everything and walk away in slow motion, leaving all our responsibilities, boring routines, and demanding bosses behind. But this is adulthood. This is how it has to be. And there is no way to start life over again. Or is there? In the style of choose-your-own-adventure stories, CREATE YOUR OWN MIDLIFE CRISIS will give you the chance to try all the roads not taken: To take your mother to a nightclub, turn to page 68. To buy a motorcycle, turn to page 74. To agree to a swingers' night, turn to page 82. To quit this stupid job, go to page 108. Whether it's an affair with a younger man, ayahuasca, or just telling your boss to shove it, choose from countless hilarious and surprising outcomes.

The Best Way to Make the Worst Decisions

Create Your Own Midlife Crisis Hc

From Marie Phillips, hailed by the Guardian Unlimited website as a “hot author” destined to “break through” in 2007, comes a highly entertaining novel set in North London, where the Greek gods have been living in obscurity since the seventeenth century. Being immortal isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Life’s hard for a Greek god in the twenty-first century: nobody believes in you any more, even your own family doesn’t respect you, and you’re stuck in a dilapidated hovel in North London with too many siblings and not enough hot water. But for Artemis (goddess of hunting, professional dog walker), Aphrodite (goddess of beauty, telephone sex operator) and Apollo (god of the sun, TV psychic) there’s no way out… until a meek cleaner and her would-be boyfriend come into their lives and turn the world upside down. Gods Behaving Badly is that rare thing, a charming, funny, utterly original novel that satisfies the head and the heart.

Tim Butcher

Deborah Moggach

Kathy Lette

Joanne Harris

Irvine Welsh

Xiaolu Guo

"Seven authors have visited seven different countries and spoken to young women and girls about their lives, struggles and hopes. The result is an extraordinary collection of writings about prejudice, abuse and neglect, but also about courage, resilience and changing attitudes. Proceeds from the sale of this book will go to Plan, one of the world's largest child-centered community development organizations"--P. [4] of cover.

Because I am a girl

To run away to Brazil, turn to 34.To get a tattoo, turn to 147.To burn your house down, turn to 145.Midway through our lives, we wonder how we ended up here and whether there's a way out. There must have been a crucial turning point, but there's no way to start again in the hope of a better result. Or is there? Here's your chance to try all the roads not taken: polyamory, ayahuasca, younger men, enlightenment, infidelity, Botox, or just telling your boss for once and for all where she can shove her job. But beware: all choices come at a cost...Yelpingly funny, horribly relatable, here are the predicaments of modern midlife, brought together in a compulsively readable book-as-game which - just like real life - you can never truly win.

Create Your Own Midlife Crisis

N'en croyez pas la légende, le sort des immortels n'est pas tout rose. Au contraire, être un dieu grec au XXIe siècle, c'est un vrai calvaire. Les fidèles ayant déserté, on est condamné à vivre à l'étroit, dans un quartier populaire de Londres. On vous manque de respect jusqu'au sein de votre propre famille. Et la reconversion est rude. Apollon prédit l'avenir sur une chaîne câblée, quand Aphrodite fait du téléphone rose. La déesse de la chasse promène les chiens des autres pendant son footing. Dionysos, patron d'une boite de nuit pourrie, n'offre plus les bacchanales d'antan. Diminués et déclassés, les dieux sont tombés très bas. Jusqu'à ce que la disparition de l'astre solaire les oblige à reprendre du service. Tremblez, mortels, ce livre vous fera mourir de rire.

Les dieux ne valent pas mieux

Longlisted for the 2015 Baileys Women's Prize for Fiction Sir Humphrey du Val of the Table of Less Valued Knights – Camelot's least prestigious table, with one leg shorter than the others so that it has to be propped up with a folded napkin – doesn't do quests ... until he meets Elaine, a damsel in distress with a secret to hide. Meanwhile, Queen Martha of Puddock is on the run from an arranged marriage to the odious Prince Edwin of Tuft. But an encounter with the Locum of the Lake (standing in for the full-time Lady) leaves her with a quest of her own: to find her missing brother, long believed dead. The two quests collide, introducing a host of Arthurian misfits, including a freakishly short giant, a twelve-year-old crone, an amorous unicorn, and a magic sword with a mind of her own. With Gods Behaving Badly Marie Phillips showed that she has a rare gift for comedy, giving the Greek Gods an ingenious contemporary twist. In The Table of Less Valued Knights it's Camelot's turn, and you'll never see a knight in shining armour in the same way again.

The Table Of Less Valued Knights

Errar é Divino

Because I am a girl I am less likely to go to school Because I am a girl I am more likely to suffer from malnutrition Because I am a girl I am more likely to suffer violence in the home Because I am a girl I am more likely to marry and start a family before I reach my twenties. Eight authors have visited eight different countries and spoken to young women and girls about their lives, struggles and hopes. The result is an extraordinary collection of writings about prejudice, abuse, and neglect, but also about courage, resilience and changing attitudes. Proceeds from sales of this book will go to PLAN, one of the world's largest child-centered community development organisations.

Because I am a Girl

From Marie Phillips, author of the #1 national and international bestseller Gods Behaving Badly, comes a charming, funny story about a down-on-his-luck knight of Camelot, his eccentric band of misfits and their madcap quest to restore order to their lives, and the realm. Sir Humphrey du Val has had enough. Relegated to the Table of Less Valued Knights--Camelot's least prestigious spot, boringly rectangular in shape and with one leg shorter than the other so that it has to be propped up with a folded napkin to stop it from rocking--he has been banned by King Arthur from going on quests, and hasn't left the castle in 15 years. After a chance meeting with Elaine, a young maiden in search of her kidnapped fiancé, Sir Humphrey, along with his squire Conrad (an undersized giant) and Jemima (Conrad's elephant), sets off on a journey to find the distressed damsel's betrothed, hoping to restore himself to a place of honour at the Round Table. Meanwhile, Martha, an errant queen on the run from her new power-hungry husband, is in disguise and on a quest of her own to find her long-lost brother, the true ruler of her realm. Martha soon runs--literally--into Humphrey's eccentric group, who take the incognito queen captive, believing her to be a boy. As they journey through countryside, castles and villages, they gather unlikely friends and enemies along the way. While each member of the party secretly harbours their own ambitions for the quest, their collective success, and the fate of the realm, rests on their grudging cooperation and unexpectedly interconnected lives. The Princess Bride meets Monty Python and the Holy Grail in this funny, charming, and delightful tale about lesser-known heroes in Arthurian England.

One night in August 1991 I noticed two tom cats rummaging in a dumpster at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst where I worked. That observation led to the discovery there were feral cats secretly living on campus in a community governed by the illustrious Dadcat. The Dadcat's wife, Ashes, who allowed me to join their private world, and I immersed myself in their culture - the Jane Goodall of feral cats - determined to find out if they could ever trust a human. Dadcat University is a true story about my incredible friends and the journey we embarked on in forming lifelong, trusting relationships that exceeded any of our expectations.

The Story of the Feral Cats at UMass-Amherst

Dadcat University

Titia Schuurman

Huonosti käyttäytyvät jumalat

Robert Hudson

The world's first gay, equine, military, epistolary romance. Newly discovered letters written from Wellington's warhorse (Marengo) to Napoleon's warhorse (Copenhagen) and vice versa. Includes extra material not featured in the Radio 4 series, both elements of the letters cut from the final scripts and additional material not featured in the shows at all, including the letters from Marengo to his hygienist and the horse he plays chess with, and the notes between Copenhagen and the annoying dog he has to share a stall with. Initially written as a series of letters between the authors (each choosing a stretch of the Napoleonic wars between them to examine and write into the most recent letter). They were then performed with great success at the Tall Tales evenings in Kilburn until the letters were picked up by the BBC for broadcast in autumn 2011.

Warhorses of Letters

Shakespeare clone and would-be playwright Billy has just arrived in an English seaside town with his sister Sally, who was cloned from a hair found on the back of a bus seat. All Billy wants is a cheap B&B, an ice cream and a huge hit in the West End. Little does he know that their fellow clones Bill and Sal are also residents of this town. Things are about to get confusing – cue professional rivalry, marital discord and a family reunion like no other. This modern update of The Comedy of Errors is what you get when Gods Behaving Badly author Marie Phillips decides to write an important, scholarly work about the life of William Shakespeare, reads the complete works, including the long poems nobody likes, and then decides to turn it into a witty, delightful romp that you can probably finish reading in an afternoon with two tea breaks.

Marie Phillips

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