Alice Winn

A Novel

In Memoriam

In 1914, war feels far away to Henry Gaunt and Sidney Ellwood. They're too young to enlist, and anyway, Gaunt is fighting his own private battle - an all-consuming infatuation with the dreamy, poetic Ellwood - not having a clue that his best friend is in love with him, always has been.

When Gaunt's mother asks him to enlist in the British army to protect the family from anti-German attacks, he signs up immediately, relieved to escape his overwhelming feelings. But Ellwood and their classmates soon follow him into the horrors of trenches. Though Ellwood and Gaunt find fleeting moments of solace in one another, their friends are dying in front of them, and at any moment they could be next.

An epic tale of the devastating tragedies of war and the forbidden romance that blooms in its grip, In Memoriam is a breathtaking debut.

Laura Dobie

As he lay in bed, Ellwood rigid and pretending to sleep beside him, Gaunt reflected that it did not feel like loving Ellwood. It felt like loving a brittle impostor, one who had stolen Ellwood and would not return him.

"Yes, it's an abomination," he said, lightly, although he knew it wasn't. Knew it couldn't be. It was the cleanest, purest part of him.

"Has anyone ever told you that your pessimism is a form of selfishness?" Gaunt blinked. “No." "Well, it is," said Pritchard.

"Sixty thousand casualties," said Pritchard. 

Gaunt forced down his fear. It was amazing, all the different textures fear could have. He thought he would prefer to face machine guns than look at the papers and find Ellwood's name there, permanent as a tombstone.

"If my mother had had money, you can be sure she'd not have spent it paying strangers to raise me," said Hayes.

Gaunt turned over to face Ellwood and caught his eye. Ellwood smiled, and a sudden, dry bleakness spread over Gaunt's heart as he thought of Hercules, and Hector, and all the heroes in myth who found happiness briefly, only for it not to be the end of the story.

If Ellwood were a girl, he might have held his hand, kissed his temple. He might have bought a ring and tied their lives together. 

But Ellwood was Ellwood, and Gaunt had to be satisfied with the weight of his head on his shoulder.

Amalie Elisabeth

And it was a magical thing, to love someone so much; it was a feeling so strange and slippery, like a sheath of fabric cut from the sky.

小燕

He seized Gaunt’s waist (Gaunt bit his tongue as Ellwood’s hands split his wounds), he tugged him close, and even though Hayes was due to return at any moment, Gaunt didn’t care; he would die, he knew he would, and Ellwood was looking at him as if he was the world.

He looked insane. Feverish. The kiss he pressed against Gaunt’s lips was violent in its desperation.

Except that had been a form of obedience, too, thought Ellwood—to a pre-existing command. He had been obeying the unwritten instructions in Gaunt’s terrible letter after the Second Battle of Ypres: 

“I wish to God I could see you again before I die.”

 And Ellwood, obedient as ever, had enlisted instantly.

He wondered if Gaunt knew that he would do anything for him. “My dust would hear her and beat, / Had I lain for a century dead,” provided Tennyson, helpfully.

I stood as he pressed by, and I thought, Why are you at Ypres? Why are you not sitting in a courtyard in Algiers, eating a ripe orange? We have conquered the world with promises that could not be kept. We told those Algerians that their civilisation was no good, that they must have ours instead, we carried our white man’s burden dutifully, enlightening Indians—Indians! They who built the Taj Mahal! And Egyptians! For we knew better than their pyramids! We swarmed through Africa and America because we were better than they, of course we were, we were making war humane, and now it has broken down and they are dragged into hell with us. We have doomed the world with our advancements, with our democracy that is so much better than whatever they’ve thought of, with our technology that will so improve their lives, and now Algerian men must choke to death on their own melted insides in wet Belgian trenches and I—

In Memoriam is a must-read if you are looking for a love story worthy of a movie but rooted in a reality that will give you chills. An extraordinary book in its beauty and cruelty.

Sherilyn Bourillon 

A must-read, for certain. The story of Elwood and Gaunt will forever stay in my mind and soul. This book made me smile, made me cry, made me happy and sad, sometimes at the same time. A pure work of art.

I am not usually a fan of books heavily centered on a romantic relationship, but sometimes one comes across in such a way that I'm thrown and eventually enticed into loving it. This is a book set in the UK and then in the trenches if World War I, following a couple of young men from privileged backgrounds. Initially in their "select" college while the war begins and later as soldiers, we see them coming to terms with their sexuality, their romantic feelings, the context in which they are living and hiding, sometimes in plain sight. At the same time, we follow their reaction to the war and that of their friends, families and fellow soldiers, and how it changes from the outsider feelings to the experience of fighting and of bereavement.

All the while, this is a book about loss. Loss of innocence, loss of self-respect, loss of dreams, loss of hope, loss of understanding, loss of capabilities, loss of self, loss of life, loss of humanity.

Humans can have so much but can lose everything. Too often, humans themselves predictably pave the way for such loss. "War is stupid", me and a friend said as we read this book. World War I is the most poignant, unavoidable, unquestionable, egregious demonstration of how humanity can be stupid. Everything that is idiotic in wars is a part of WWI and is often worse than elsewhen. The trench war is among the most horrendous thing we have ever made and forced people to do. The gas. The age of the soldiers. The disregard for life, even that of one's own soldiers. The way the contemporary expectations for progress and humanism were broken. Probably above all, how stupid the war was, how unnecessary such loss of life and health, how there is so little motive, how the war becomes a conflict almost about itself, how it is the trauma of the war that makes the soldiers want to fight, there is little rhyme or reason for all that happened to those poor people that lived and died through such times.

One of my favourite quotes, from one of my favourite authors and a man who lived through and was marked by WWI - J.R.R. Tolkien - goes as follows:

<<“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”>>

Humans are smart and stupid. Rarely is our smartness so stupidly used as in the world wars.

I kept thinking about the Lord of the Rings as I read this. I imagined Tolkien there, another guy like Ellwood and Gaunt, watching his people torn to shreds and shredding others. Such is the power of this book, that one can almost - but not really - feel what it is to be there, to keep whatever parts of the self one can as the war drags on. I remembered many moments and themes of the book and how they become elevated when one builds the parallel to those moments and their consequences.

The loss of self, of one's own personality, self-image and esteem, is here interspersed with the particularities of living as homosexuals in early XX century Europe, initially in the college context, where sexual explorations are known to happen but not spoken of or ever acknowledged as having romantic components or determining one's sexuality, except for moments of bullying. As we move to the war proper the stakes change, but while the class privilege is still a clear shell, the acuteness of feelings and consequences, the building trauma, the notion that there may be no future, no time, all the while knowing people are no longer themselves and probably can't really live their real lives or choices, even if they could clearly want to, transforms the perspective.

The loss is also graphically transmitted, as the story is often punctuated by the pages of the school paper naming the students that had recently died in the war and including some of the "in memoriam" written by fellow soldiers.

Up to the end, which I won't spoil, there is a persistence of loss, physical, psychological, emotional, that latched itself to my mind and hasn't left my consciousness since I finished reading.

From what I have read about In Memoriam, its biggest flaw is the fact it goes through all the usual tropes of WWI books. It may be the first time in my life I am happy to not have read some good books, because I loved going through this book and those used tropes I did find were never disturbing to the experience.

In Memoriam is clearly a heavily referential book and Alice Winn explains as much in her own words. I'm thankful that she did so in such a way that I felt so much in my heart and my mind. This is a great book, which I'd recommend for people who love Victorian romances as much as for those who live for contemporary historical literary fiction.

André Nóbrega

I am not usually a fan of books heavily centered on a romantic relationship, but sometimes one comes across in such a way that I'm thrown and eventually enticed into loving it. This is a book set in the UK and then in the trenches if World War I, following a couple of young men from privileged backgrounds. Initially in their "select" college while the war begins and later as soldiers, we see them coming to terms with their sexuality, their romantic feelings, the context in which they are living and hiding, sometimes in plain sight. At the same time, we follow their reaction to the war and that of their friends, families and fellow soldiers, and how it changes from the outsider feelings to the experience of fighting and of bereavement.
All the while, this is a book about loss. Loss of innocence, loss of self-respect, loss of dreams, loss of hope, loss of understanding, loss of capabilities, loss of self, loss of life, loss of humanity.

Humans can have so much but can lose everything. Too often, humans themselves predictably pave the way for such loss. "War is stupid", me and a friend said as we read this book. World War I is the most poignant, unavoidable, unquestionable, egregious demonstration of how humanity can be stupid. Everything that is idiotic in wars is a part of WWI and is often worse than elsewhen. The trench war is among the most horrendous thing we have ever made and forced people to do. The gas. The age of the soldiers. The disregard for life, even that of one's own soldiers. The way the contemporary expectations for progress and humanism were broken. Probably above all, how stupid the war was, how unnecessary such loss of life and health, how there is so little motive, how the war becomes a conflict almost about itself, how it is the trauma of the war that makes the soldiers want to fight, there is little rhyme or reason for all that happened to those poor people that lived and died through such times.
One of my favourite quotes, from one of my favourite authors and a man who lived through and was marked by WWI - J.R.R. Tolkien - goes as follows:
<<“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”>>
Humans are smart and stupid. Rarely is our smartness so stupidly used as in the world wars.
I kept thinking about the Lord of the Rings as I read this. I imagined Tolkien there, another guy like Ellwood and Gaunt, watching his people torn to shreds and shredding others. Such is the power of this book, that one can almost - but not really - feel what it is to be there, to keep whatever parts of the self one can as the war drags on. I remembered many moments and themes of the book and how they become elevated when one builds the parallel to those moments and their consequences.

The loss of self, of one's own personality, self-image and esteem, is here interspersed with the particularities of living as homosexuals in early XX century Europe, initially in the college context, where sexual explorations are known to happen but not spoken of or ever acknowledged as having romantic components or determining one's sexuality, except for moments of bullying. As we move to the war proper the stakes change, but while the class privilege is still a clear shell, the acuteness of feelings and consequences, the building trauma, the notion that there may be no future, no time, all the while knowing people are no longer themselves and probably can't really live their real lives or choices, even if they could clearly want to, transforms the perspective.
The loss is also graphically transmitted, as the story is often punctuated by the pages of the school paper naming the students that had recently died in the war and including some of the "in memoriam" written by fellow soldiers.
Up to the end, which I won't spoil, there is a persistence of loss, physical, psychological, emotional, that latched itself to my mind and hasn't left my consciousness since I finished reading.

From what I have read about In Memoriam, its biggest flaw is the fact it goes through all the usual tropes of WWI books. It may be the first time in my life I am happy to not have read some good books, because I loved going through this book and those used tropes I did find were never disturbing to the experience.
In Memoriam is clearly a heavily referential book and Alice Winn explains as much in her own words. I'm thankful that she did so in such a way that I felt so much in my heart and my mind. This is a great book, which I'd recommend for people who love Victorian romances as much as for those who live for contemporary historical literary fiction.

Gorgeous, devastating, and astonishingly grounded in its literary and historical context. I’m fucking floored, this book will haunt me for the rest of my life!!

Sam Sontag

When I was sixteen my favorite book was inexplicably all quiet on the western front so I really didn't stand a chance here bc this is that but gay 

Regan Martin

Wonderful writing. A compelling, heart-breaking story of love and war.

Caroline Williams

One of the best books I’ve ever read. Horrifying, beautiful, tender. I felt every spectrum of emotion.

this book absolutely left me in RUINS. the yearning was phenomenal and broke my heart 🥲 perfect epitome of he fell first but he fell harder trope. the writing is AMAZING too and there were so many quotes i loved and will now permanently engrave into my heart. overall, this might just be the best book i've read this year yet 🫶

𝜗𝜚

Chloé

An anticipated read that definitely lived up to my expectations. I have had this book on my radar for a while, before it even had a cover (which considering its a debut i'm not sure how i became aware of it). 

OKAY so the characters, Ellwood and Gaunt are amazing characters and their love for each other felt very realistic. I love that Ellwood is a poet, who constantly quotes poets, mainly Tennyson, a trait that gets affected by his experience in war. There was a moment where I thought they were gonna put Ellwood with Maud, Gaunts sister, and while Ellwood has been making these kinda comments, Ellwood and Gaunt are both gay and in love with each other. At the beginning Gaunt is pacifist and doesn’t want to enlist. His mother is German and asks him to, something he refuses, however while in town with Ellwood he is given a white feather and while trying to comfort him Ellwood kisses him on the cheek and he enlists. Ellwood enlists a little while later. I love how she approaches the gay characters and their experience in life and even sexual experiences, because gay people have always existed, they just hid and she writes this so well and realistically where it feels like yeah of course this happened.

Her writing style is very descriptive, borderline poetic and flows well but it was such an easy and quick read. I read this while not being in the best place mentally which is why it took me a little while but this was a definite one/two day read for me. I love that she doesn't shy away from the horrors of war yet it didn't feel like she’s making it too gory for shock value. Like there's a scene with mustard gas and the way its described it didn’t feel like she was trying to shock rather in her beautiful writing style telling us the horrors of mustard gas effects. She doesn't shy away from semi-important characters being killed or injured. Her descriptions are sooo good. Both Gaunt and Ellwood change throughout the novel, they experience horrors and create brotherhood with their comrades.

I love how she also included Indian and Algerian characters, reminding us they also fought alongside the allied powers.

I just… I loved this book so much, I highly HIGHLY suggest.

Sónia GB

Não costumo ler livros de temática de guerra, já não me lembrava porquê……
Doeu ler. Dói ainda. Foi sufocante, revoltante, triste. Impossível ficar indiferente.

A forma como as personagens nos são apresentadas, como nos envolvemos com as histórias delas… e a forma como perdemos tantas delas pelo caminho. 

De louvar a escrita e sobretudo a forma como a guerra é retratada sem que seja paternalista e redundante.

Valeu cada segundo 🥹

To open this humorously, recently I have been opening random BL webtoons to see how outraged I would get until I stop reading (I never do, the comments sections are funny as hell) and about 30% in my thought was, whoa, the structure of this is not too different from that of a generic BL webtoon. In restrospect, I believe the audiobook format being a little disorienting for the way the novel has been set up was a contributing factor to making it feel like the author was just trying to set up different characters to have sex with other characters.

Now, there is nothing wrong with that; if anything, I was pleasantly surprised that one of the most popular and highly regarded novels of the year had such strong focus on gay relationships and sexuality. But was also glad that it was so much more than that.

It is clear that Winn has done a lot of research both into the reality of the trenches and of the lives of queer people during the first couple decades of the 20th century. I, myself, am not a big war story enthusiast, but even I could not help but absolute gripped by the developments on the front. While I felt like the characters could use a little bit more fleshing out, Winn managed to make me so attached to them, I found myself deeply caring for their survival and wellbeing. That is absolutely where the novel's strength lies.

Unfortunately, however, the abovementioned drawback - the insufficient development of the characters - also made the bits focusing on just Gaunt and Ellwood's relationship feel weaker and less convincing. For example, the scene where Ellewood believed Gaunt to be dead was devastating, least of all because it was the result of childish cruelty and homophobia. But the build-up to their romantic relationship before the front and their relationship itself felt more like the two being brought together because that served the novel, rather than because there was a genuine complex dynamic between them.

I am still willing to rate this highly, though. I could not put it down and it is very competently written. The audiobook was a bit disorientating, as I mentioned, but the layering of the reading out of the lists of dead and wounded was an excellent trick - it really had me paying close attention to confirm character deaths, awaiting with a bated breathed to make sure whether a named character has survived or not.

To open this humorously, recently I have been opening random BL webtoons to see how outraged I would get until I stop reading (I never do, the comments sections are funny as hell) and about 30% in my thought was, whoa, the structure of this is not too different from that of a generic BL webtoon. In restrospect, I believe the audiobook format being a little disorienting for the way the novel has been set up was a contributing factor to making it feel like the author was just trying to set up different characters to have sex with other characters.

Now, there is nothing wrong with that; if anything, I was pleasantly surprised that one of the most popular and highly regarded novels of the year had such strong focus on gay relationships and sexuality. But was also glad that it was so much more than that.

It is clear that Winn has done a lot of research both into the reality of the trenches and of the lives of queer people during the first couple decades of the 20th century. I, myself, am not a big war story enthusiast, but even I could not help but absolute gripped by the developments on the front. While I felt like the characters could use a little bit more fleshing out, Winn managed to make me so attached to them, I found myself deeply caring for their survival and wellbeing. That is absolutely where the novel's strength lies.

Unfortunately, however, the abovementioned drawback - the insufficient development of the characters - also made the bits focusing on just Gaunt and Ellwood's relationship feel weaker and less convincing. For example, the scene where Ellewood believed Gaunt to be dead was devastating, least of all because it was the result of childish cruelty and homophobia. But the build-up to their romantic relationship before the front and their relationship itself felt more like the two being brought together because that served the novel, rather than because there was a genuine complex dynamic between them.

I am still willing to rate this highly, though. I could not put it down and it is very competently written. The audiobook was a bit disorientating, as I mentioned, but the layering of the reading out of the lists of dead and wounded was an excellent trick - it really had me paying close attention to confirm character deaths, awaiting with a bated breathed to make sure whether a named character has survived or not.

Devastating and beautifully written; a remarkable book that will stay with me for a long, long time.

Full of engaging and compelling characters and the occasional lighthearted moments to break up the monotony of warfare (the moment with Daniels cake particularly made me laugh out loud while reading).

While the writing did begin to feel a little tedious in places, the intrigue to learn the outcome of each character made continuing easier.

A surprisingly easy read despite the harrowing subject matter!

Victoria Justice

Full of engaging and compelling characters and the occasional lighthearted moments to break up the monotony of warfare (the moment with Daniels cake particularly made me laugh out loud while reading).

While the writing did begin to feel a little tedious in places, the intrigue to learn the outcome of each character made continuing easier.

A surprisingly easy read despite the harrowing subject matter!

In Memoriam A Novel

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