All Grown Up

Jami Attenberg — 2017

From the New York Times best-selling author of The Middlesteins comes a wickedly funny novel about a thirty-nine-year-old single, childfree woman who defies convention as she seeks connection. Who is Andrea Bern? When her therapist asks the question, Andrea knows the right things to say: she's a designer, a friend, a daughter, a sister. But it's what she leaves unsaid--she's alone, a drinker, a former artist, a shrieker in bed, captain of the sinking ship that is her flesh--that feels the most true. Everyone around her seems to have an entirely different idea of what it means to be an adult: her best friend, Indigo, is getting married; her brother--who miraculously seems unscathed by their shared tumultuous childhood--and sister-in-law are having a hoped-for baby; and her friend Matthew continues to wholly devote himself to making dark paintings at the cost of being flat broke. But when Andrea's niece finally arrives, born with a heartbreaking ailment, the Bern family is forced to reexamine what really matters. Will this drive them together or tear them apart? Told in gut-wrenchingly honest, mordantly comic vignettes, All Grown Up is a breathtaking display of Jami Attenberg's power as a storyteller, a whip-smart examination of one woman's life, lived entirely on her own terms.

Reviews

azliana aziz@heartinidleness

Jan 13, 2024

"Or you might not love anyone at all. You could just not love anyone and that would be fine, even though life is lonely and it might be easier if you do. But you can't be something you're not. You can't." I wanted so much to love this one because it should be instant favorite especially as I love the opening and early chapters so much. but that love got derailed by the middle section and it peaked again nearing the ending but then that ending. ugh

Melanie Richards@melanierichards

May 14, 2022

4.5 stars, this one got me right in the gut.

Jennifer Dieter@jdeets03

Dec 30, 2021

At first I was incredibly annoyed by this book and the main character. She felt unhappy by choice and self-sabotaging. But she grew to be much more complex as Attenberg moved past cliches and formed a human being full of flaws (as we all are). I enjoyed the telling of the story in vignettes moving back and forth in time, and several of Attenberg's beautifully written sentences made me pause.

Yoomi@angryasiangirlreads

Nov 18, 2021

This is one of those books that some people will love and others will hate. It's an in depth story of a woman told in vignettes and it feels so true it hurts. Andrea is single and drifting. She's not a likable character. She drinks too much and makes terrible choices. But it's clear that some of her issues stem from her inability to separate herself from the expectations others. She doesn't know who or what she is because she only sees herself in relation to others. I loved the writing and I thought it was an interesting look at the expectations that are put on women. Not just by our parents but friends, siblings, in-laws, society as a whole.

Caitlin Berger@thefluteyfeminist

Jul 29, 2021

This book definitely has a specific style to it but I really enjoyed it. A white girl's existential crises, sure, but it forces you to think about your life and what you want from it. Written beautifully.

Libby W@libbyswoodson