The Kitchen God's Wife A Novel

frankly i think this should've been more popular than the joy luck club. but boy what an anti-feel good book. despite how horrifying wen fu's actions were they were ultimately still not unrealistic, which was where the real tragedy was at. hearing stories corroborated from my mother and aunts about the how insanely patriarchal china was only minimally prepared me for this. but i've heard amy tan's words echoed to me using my mom as a conduit since i was a child. why i was terrified of my cousin in china, why i would never marry there. wow.

Second reading, 25 years after the first reading: sad, trauma upon trauma, very dark. What did I think of this as a teenager, I wonder. What tiny fingerprint did it leave on my impressionable brain? The parts that take place in the present day (which is to say, 1980s San Francisco) really resonate with me. They even make me feel nostalgic for San Francisco.

4.5/5 ☆ THE KITCHEN GOD'S WIFE is overwhelming, beautiful, and will always have a special place in my heart. trigger warning: this book contains an abusive relationship and rape. i started this novel not knowing what to expect. but right off the bat, i knew this book would be unforgettable. the story is told in alternating POVs. it starts with Pearl, speaking of her situations now, and moves onto Winnie, Pearl's mom, telling her daughter of what happened in the past. most of the story follows Winnie, but at the very end, we flash back to the present and Pearl's POV. the characters and situations were so relatable. at first, it almost felt as if it were my mom telling her life story to me. i could see parallels between myself and the character's life, which made everything much more real and, in turn, made the story more impactful for me. both my parents are from Shanghai, China and since Winnie begins her story there, it was like i was seeing things in the lens of my parents. there would often be references in Shanghainese and Mandarin Chinese that made me feel nostalgic for my childhood and home. it seemed to me that Pearl wasn't very proud of her Chinese background at first, which is how i felt/feel sometimes. this story made me appreciate where i come from and my culture; it allowed me to see the hardships my mom/parents had to endure for me to live a better life in America. because i read this book, i feel a stronger connection with my elders and that's something i'll forever be grateful for. but moving on to things about the story itself... the plot is so intricate and intense. it's really unexpected and indescribable, so i'll just leave it at that. as i mentioned earlier, there's an abusive relationship in the novel and this book really shows what it means to be in an abusive relationship. i've read other novels that touch the topic but i didn't really understand what it meant until this book. i truly felt the characters and, i'll admit that at times it was difficult for me to read. if you want to open your eyes to situations like this, read this book. but what i love the most is that the novel isn't just "a book with an abusive relationship" because it is SO MUCH MORE than that. it's about finding hope and understanding friendships and learning the meaning of family. it's about all those things and so much more. amy tan's writing is so also beautiful; she couldn't have executed this story better. the one complaint i have is that it was a slow read. maybe it was because i'm in a reading slump, but it took me longer than usual to finish this book. but that's not to say i wasn't hooked with the story and/or its characters. all in all, i loved THE KITCHEN GOD'S WIFE despite its tough topics and slow pacing. even though i've never encountered situations as dire as the character's, everything was scarily relatable and realistic. i think everyone should take a chance and read this book because the message is so strong. this is the kind of book i'd want my daughters and sons to read, and their children as well.

Every time I read a book set in 20th century China I am astonished, fascinated, and heartbroken. This one captured me from the very beginning with the mother/daughter points of view chapters, then went off in a direction I didn't expect. The story itself is compelling, and the descriptions really suck you in. There's a real sense of place. You get a personal, closeup view of huge changes in a vast country. The human scale shows the impact better than figures do (in my opinion). The mother-daughter relationship feels genuine, with realistic misunderstandings, not overwrought (not just the typical ones, but those springing from the difficult relationship between immigrants and their children). There's a mixture of the extraordinary and the mundane that feels somehow real (as it's semi-autobiographical I don't know which bits are from her own life). A huge part of this book is the female experience in patriarchal China. Though set after the demise of footbinding, many customs still constricted women in other ways - traditional arranged marriages, with polygyny & concubines, the expectations of femininity and class, sexual and reproductive labour (with no rights over the children), difficulty accessing divorce etc. The depiction of domestic violence, and the curious mixture of "weakness & strength" (paraphrased) needed to stay or go, felt very real. The relationships between women are beautifully shown in all their inconsistent glory. Class is very visible too, in the educational divide and the huge disparity in access to resources.

Amy Tan has such a good way at bringing out true relationships. This book took me a while to get into but once I started to connect with "Winnie" I was hook. Her strength and ability to find hope and love in dark times was encouraging.

Loved this book. Great characters and I love the style of passing back and forth between current time and history. If you liked Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, you'll also love this one.