Aziz Ansari

Modern Romance

Eric Klinenberg

People today have more romantic options than at any point in human history, and thanks to social media, smartphones and online dating, our ability to connect with these options are staggering. Yet we also have to face absurd new dilemmas, such as what to think when someone doesn't reply to your text but has time to post a photo of a pizza on Instagram. While Aziz Ansari has long aimed his comedic insight at modern relationships, here he teams up with sociologist Eric Klinenberg to research dating cultures from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Paris. The result is a hilarious tour of the romantic landscape.

Patrick Book

A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from one of this generation’s most popular and sharpest comedic voices At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated? Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?” “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!” “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?” But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate. For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before. In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.

Timeo Williams

Funny and hilarious review of how relationships evolved and the situation we face today. Multiple options, but at the same time, increased chance of rejections. 

Aziz's narrative style is perhaps the best thing about this book. Highly recommend.

Teresa Bonifácio

3.25⭐️
I liked the book. It’s a good book about how’s the romance nowadays. It was interesting to see the focus groups opinions and how they changed between the countries Aziz visited. 
I was just expecting more I don’t know why!

Kritika Narula

Detailed review coming up soon...but I cannot help but read in amazement how this wasn't just another commentary on the status quo but a well-fleshed narrative, based on research and triangulation. I am blown away by that, but not as much by the humor.

Satyajeet Pal

Reads exactly how I imagined an Aziz book would read, hilarious. Anecdotes and jokes in the book are great and he does a good job incorporating research into the book. The sections about texting and dating apps was particularly interesting.

Dennis Jacob Rosenfeld

This was a great read that managed to be informative and really funny at the same time. Ansari teams up with social scientist Eric Klinenberg to examine the differences in the way people meet and start relationships today compared with previous generations. Some of the main points examined are technology, online dating, and the way we approach both being single and being in a relationship today. Although some of the problems presented probably resonate more with American readers, than for example a European like me, the overall picture still rings true. Seeing how the findings has inspired Ansari's writing for Master of None was a great example of how he works as a comedian and employs what he learns about the world surrounding him.

Mitch Stewart

Great book on modern relationships and how they've evolved from ones in the past. Great insights on modern couples and the struggles that come with online dating, doesn't hurt that it's also very funny.

alexandra

super funny & easy to read, although some of aziz's jokes were insensitive imo. i liked how it was an informative novel about dating and it made me feel better on how to navigate our love lives in this digital age. the audiobook is also pretty hilarious since he adds some additional jokes, but it also gets too much at times. all-in-all a fairly enjoyable read!

Cristian Garcia

Es simplemente genial. Divertido (me hizo reír muchas veces -no sonreír- pero reí) y lleno de grandes insights. Aziz es un gran contador de historias y para respaldar el libro viajo por 5 países para entender como nos relacionamos y enamoramos en la era de los teléfonos e Internet.

Vishwa

Aziz can be funny, and I appreciate the attempt. That being said, this just isn't the kind of book I'd ever recommend. It's not gripping, it's not revolutionary, its not thought-provoking. It's only mildly entertaining. 

But it's mostly the fault of the subject matter. I suppose to someone it might be thought-provoking, but I'd argue that the person just hasn't thought by themself then. There's basically no information that will surprise you. But sometimes people read books to remind themselves of something. This could be that book of you want a reminder that optionality isn't great for your brain but opening dating horizons with technology will also open doors to finding someone more fulfilling. And that today we think about life partners differently than people used to 50 years ago.

Haylie

I thought this was going to be a memoir of sorts like many comedian books before but was pleasantly surprised that Modern Romance was not that at all. Sure, there are some personal anecdotes from Aziz Ansari's life to consider but mostly, this is more of a social-science book using data to explain our notions about romance and how it's changed over time. Whether it's due to changing cultures, location, and technology - this book does a pretty solid job of covering its bases. I listened to the audiobook - which was recommended as being a better way to experience the book - and while I don't normally get audiobooks, I did like how the jokes translated with Aziz actually delivering than if I just read them via the physical book. I will say some references to images that are printed in the book are lost since you can't see them via an audiobook but I didn't really care.

I give it 3/5 because I did enjoy the book but some parts were a little data heavy to go through and I feel like Aziz is a little obsessed with the dating scene. Note: I read this after wrapping up Master of None and watching his stand-up special and it did feel like the same thing just being retold in a different medium.

Alexandra Sklar

Lots of people seem to like this book. I think the topic has probably been better covered in a Refinery29 article.

Gisela Ayala 

This book was very very funny and as funny as it was it was also surprisingly informative. Aziz kept cracking me up, with his way of explaining Modern Love, although everything he says is backed up by A LOT of research. Either way I did leave this book a little bit more wiser and probably even more skeptical about modern love in the age of social media. This book got me on so many different levels, and I recommend it to anyone who is trying to figure out what the heck we are doing. Thumbs up.

Gulshan Hasanzada

Müasir günümüzün qadın-kişi münasibətlərinin bizdən də sürətlə inkişaf edən texnologiya sayəsində nə hala gəldiyini şirin-şirin izah edərək gözümüzə soxan kitab. Aziz Ansari (stand-up komedist olaraq tanıyıram) Eric Klinenberg adlı sosioloqla birgə kitabı yazıb. Kitabda əməlli-başlı əmək, araşdırma və zaman varmış, fərqli-fərqli ölkələrdə sosioloq, psixoloq, antropoloq, bir sözlə peşəsinin sonu ''oloq''-la bitən hər kim varsa, onla görüşüb, çoxlu insanlarla fokus qrup təşkil edərək, müsahibə nəticələrini qeydə alıb ümumiləşdirib. Fokus qrup respondentlərindən maraqlı hekayələr üzə çıxarıb və bunu öz üslubunda çox gülməli izah edib. Bir sözlə yaxşı kitabdır, vaxt keçirə bilərsiniz, amma Azizin ''The master of none'' serialına baxmanızı şiddətsiz (şiddətə qarşıyam) tövsiyə edirəm.

Francis Buggey

For some reason I thought this book was a memoir and then when I started it I realized it definitely was not and was actually a pop-sociology type book. That being said, the book was hysterical and very informational. But most importantly, it was easy to read. I think everyone in their 20s (and later years) should read this and understand we're all floating through time and space looking for our next cuddle bud.

Morgan K

Not my favorite read, it was more research than anything else. I got about 100 pages in and then quit

ANDREW BRYK

KADY BURNS

Caroline Lewicki

As someone who is married and connected with their partner on a dating app, I thought this book was an entertaining and surprisingly informative look at the modern dating scene. It's definitely geared more at single folks who need some bolstering that dating in the modern world isn't all that bad, but I enjoyed it nonetheless!

Lauren Attaway

I initially was going to complain that this book wasn't great at keeping my attention, until I found myself replaying different points because I had to make sure I'd understood it correctly. There are so many factors that goes into romance that I feel like this could be made into a docuseries and they still wouldn't have been able to cover them all. This book has given me a lot to think about and it was fun to see the similarities and differences in my own life. 

I'm so glad that Aziz kept calling me a lazy f*** for listening to the Audiobook, but I enjoyed listening to him and it gave the whole book a very podcast-y feel.

Summer Stanley

Not what I expected but very good! Had some amazing insight into dating today.

Toni Turner

Aziz has been my favorite comedian for years so when I found out he was writing a book I bought it extremely fast. I hate hardcover books. That's just personal preference, but I love Aziz and I love this book so much that I was overjoyed that I had the hardcover nice, new edition! Yay Aziz. Be my friend, man.

Jen Estrella

For me the takeaway of these stories is that, no matter how many options we seem to have on our screens, we should be careful not to lose track of the human beings behind them. We’re better off spending quality time getting to know actual people than spending hours with our devices, seeing who else is out there.
I really enjoyed this! It was such a good decision to listen to the audiobook while reading the ebook. Also, this quote does not capture what the whole book is about, but I really like it: 
  Marriage was an economic institution in which you were given a partnership for life in terms of children and social status and succession and companionship. But now we want our partner to still give us all these things, but in addition I want you to be my best friend and my trusted confidant and my passionate lover to boot, and we live twice as long. So we come to one person, and we basically are asking them to give us what once an entire village used to provide: Give me belonging, give me identity, give me continuity, but give me transcendence and mystery and awe all in one. Give me comfort, give me edge. Give me novelty, give me familiarity. Give me predictability, give me surprise. And we think it’s a given, and toys and lingerie are going to save us with that. Ideally, though, we’re lucky, and we find our soul mate and enjoy that life-changing mother lode of happiness. But a soul mate is a very hard thing to find.

Kaitee Tredway

The content of this book was not what I expected, in the best way! Aziz Ansari does not just deliver a humor book, but a sociological exploration of the modern dating world. As a twenty-something, this made me feel like I am not alone in my struggles, and has made me consider giving online dating a chance -- though I will take the advice offered: dating apps are more "introduction" apps -- nothing can beat the brain's algorithm of being able to tell if someone is right for you.

I also highly recommend the audiobook version, narrated by Aziz Ansari -- he is hilarious, and had me laughing out loud as I listened.

Modern Romance

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