Name: The will to change
Rating: 4.352459016393443 (61 reviews)
ISBN: 9780743456081

bell hooks

men, masculinity, and love

The will to change

Jared Adams

I think this is a great book to introduce men into feminist politics primarily because it specifically speaks about how patriarchy harms men and ties it to women’s liberation. My primary issue with the book is that the capitalist critique is minimized in favor of quotidian self help rhetoric. Emotional intelligence is important and men in particular are lacking in that regard, but therapy and sensitivity training alone is not going to dissolve the patriarchy. Especially when patriarchy is engraved into capitalism and by extension therapeutic services.

M. Sosotris

What an outstanding insightful read; bell hooks digs into the paradoxes of society and lays out all the contradictions and logical pitfalls in such a clear natural voice that you find yourself kicking yourself for not being able to put all this into words yourself.

This book was healing, disturbing, painful, freeing, and inspiring in ways I haven’t experienced that often. I know that so many men who need to hear how they can find joy and freedom and healing by changing their worldview just a little probably won’t read this book because patriarchy, while flimsy, is very comforting, even though it doesn’t give anything of long-term value, but I BEG of the men in the world to read this and give it a chance. hooks is able to give voice to all of the fear and insecurity and anger that patriarchy fosters in men, and she outlines a way out. It’s not about seeking and holding on to power, even illusory power. It’s about finding joy in what you love and daring to be happy.

This book changed my life and helped me understand so many painful relationships I’ve had with damaged family members in my life, and I want everyone to read it.

The thoughts, feelings and passion behind this book are so very obvious and relatable for those who love the men in their life. 

I particularly enjoyed the chapters on love and sex — I’ll be rereading them for sure.

There are repetitive moments. Especially towards the end of the book where it feels like she may be trying to hit a word count! I also wish there had been more practical solutions, less blanket statements like, “We need to end patriarchal thinking.” 

I feel like it’s one of those books that I will be telling the women in my life about for a long time to come — although I may be tempted to tell them to skip the last two or three chapters.

Anisah Osman Britton

The thoughts, feelings and passion behind this book are so very obvious and relatable for those who love the men in their life. 

I particularly enjoyed the chapters on love and sex — I’ll be rereading them for sure.

There are repetitive moments. Especially towards the end of the book where it feels like she may be trying to hit a word count! I also wish there had been more practical solutions, less blanket statements like, “We need to end patriarchal thinking.” 

I feel like it’s one of those books that I will be telling the women in my life about for a long time to come — although I may be tempted to tell them to skip the last two or three chapters.

In a thought-provoking social and cultural analysis, the author of All About Love explores the world of masculinity and maleness to address some of men's most common concerns, including a fear of intimacy and the loss of their patriarchal place in society, arguing that an emotionally rewarding inner life holds the key to successful intimate relationships. Reprint. 15,000 first printing.

Men, Masculinity, and Love

The Will to Change

Patricia K

Kehinde Adeleke

This book is very lovely. I thoroughly enjoyed it as a man and I am determined to change, to demolish the pervasive patriarchy and chart a new path of feminine masculinity. God helping me, I become a better lover and a better man overall.
Thank you Bell Hooks. I think every man — whether harmed by patriarchy or not— should read this.

Mattia Compagnucci

One of the most important books I’ve ever read.

This book reaches a lot of nuance in femminist theory that is often over looked or ommited. A really great read, both thoughtful and enjoyable to read.

Yvette

Everyone should read this book. Understanding the patriarchy and what it really is has been super impactful for me. Bell Hooks describes the intricate nuances of a complex epidemic plaguing our world, in particular America.  I feel far better equipped to handle my prejudices and patriarchal tendencies. This book didn’t make me feel overly guilty or felt like it was all my fault. But was a kind journey of urgent self reflection. 

Truman M Halladay

“Men need feminist thinking. It is a theory that supports their spiritual evolution and their shift away from the patriarchal model. Patriarchy is destroying the well being of men and taking their lives daily.”

Marion

Ahmed Bakr

Sloan, Kara

I've always loved bell hooks, and this did not disappoint. Skillfully and lovingly infused a discussion about patriarchy and it's pitfalls with hope, empathy, and love. This was wonderful.

Michael Moreno

Another book club assignment about the prison that patriarchy traps men in. It details the unspoken death boys experience while developing into men when one learns to kill their emotions & sensitivities in order to become "masculine."

Roger

Essential reading for anyone wanting to understand toxic masculinity, daring to build alternatives and particularly for men who want love to flourish in their lives.

With the courage, honesty, and compassion that have made her one of America's most provocative authorities on modern culture, bell hooks takes on the interior lives of men and answers their most intimate questions about love. Everyone needs to love and be loved -- even men. In this groundbreaking book, bell hooks gets to the heart of the matter and shows men how to express the emotions that are a fundamental part of who they are -- whatever their age, ethnicity, or cultural persuasion. Written in response to the author's in-depth discussions with men who were inspired by her trilogy, All About Love, Salvation, and Communion, bell hooks's The Will to Change addresses maleness and masculinity in new and challenging ways. With trademark candor and fierce intelligence, hooks answers the most common concerns of men, such as fear of intimacy and loss of their patriarchal place in society. She believes men can find the way to spiritual unity by getting back in touch with the emotionally open part of themselves. Only through this liberation will they lay claim to the rich and rewarding inner lives that have historically been the exclusive province of women. Men can access these feelings by giving themselves permission to be vulnerable. As they grow more comfortable and start believing that it's okay to feel, to need, and to desire, they will thrive as equal partners in their intimate relationships. Whether they are straight or gay, black or white, The Will to Change helps men to reclaim the best part of themselves.

The will to change men, masculinity, and love

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