Between Perfect and Real

This story really made me reflect and feel a lot.

I want to begin this review by pointing out that I, personally, am in no place to really comment on the accuracy of many of the themes in this book. I'm not transgender or gay or queer and so I can never fully understand anyone in any position similar to that of Dean in this book. The main character of this book is 17-year-old Dean, seen by most as a female. But Dean knows he's not 'Deanna', and when he's cast as a non-traditional Romeo in a school production, he gets to experience being male properly for the first time. He doesn't want to go back to living a life of pretend; but how will he tell his girlfriend that he's not a lesbian, he's a guy? Not to mention the huge ordeal of coming out to his parents... This book follows Dean through a real rollercoaster of emotions and experiences that many of us may find hard to even comprehend. It's a story of love and loss, of growth, of self-acceptance, of strength and empowerment. Dean is bullied, his once-perfect plans are tossed in the air, and everything seems so uncertain. Yet he navigates his way through this tremendously difficult time and builds some valuable relationships along the way. Most importantly, though, he begins to understand the importance of accepting himself. Overall, the book was a really enjoyable read. There was a lot of emotion, and I really felt connected to Dean as a character despite not necessarily relating to him/his circumstances. I can't say whether this is a particularly good representation of LGBTQ+ themes, but I felt it at least raised awareness of some important topics. A strong 4.5 stars from me.

4.5 stars. Review to come

ARC given by NetGalley for Honest Review "Between Perfect and Real" was a wonderfully emotional read. It follows the story of Dean, a trans male, and his coming out. He plays the lead role of Romeo in Romeo & Juliet and finds his voice through the character. The story is wonderfully written, diverse in it's cast, and realistic in it's story. It's the type of lgbtq story we need nowadays, something that is real...but hopeful. Stoeve captured the hardships as well as the good parts of any young persons transition. Dean finding a queer found family was by far my favorite thing to read. I hope Stoeve continues to write because I definitely will be on the lookout for more. Note: this story does have triggering elements. Talk of suicide, the use of slurs, and transphobia/homophobia. Practice self care before, during, and after reading.

This was so beautiful and everything I wanted (??) 😭🥺

I know a thing or two about how debilitating dysphoria can be sometimes and there's just something that hits different when a trans/nb author writes about the experience of being trans. I have never felt so utterly seen by a book and I wish 13 year old me had this when I was questioning my gender

Dean's journey of realising he's transgender and coming to terms with it is extremely authentic and relatable. When I was figuring out my gender identity I went through the same anguish, I questioned whether I was trans enough, and I spent so much time watching videos of trans people on youtube, just like Dean does in this book. I love the Dean was cast as Romeo, and I loved his friendship with Ronnie. Dean's girlfriend, Zoe, was problematic at times. In my experience, her character is very realistic and true to life, as I'm sure many trans people have had a Zoe in their life who appears to mean well but is actually kinda causing harm instead. It was interesting to see that Dean's dad was supportive while his mom wasn't, in stories like this it's usually the other way around with dad's being unsupportive so that was quite refreshing. I really enjoyed the theatre scenes, as well as every scene in which Dean's fender was affirmed. The bullying storyline was pretty awful, Blake did some really horrible things, it was sad to read at times but I know that unfortunately many trans people go through that type of bullying so it's good to see that part of being trans explored on page. This is one of the most important books I've read to date and I highly recommend it to trans and cis readers alike.

First off, I want to say thank you to pridebooktours & abrahamkids for giving me a copy of this book for an honest review. Between Perfect & Real is an emotional and quite hard hitting book about finding your voice, realising who you are and the emotional turmoils that happen along the way. This book really dug out some deep trauma I had locked away and I’m somewhat glad I was able to face it while reading. Dean, the main character, is navigating through school while dealing with being picked for the main role as Romeo in his school play, while also dealing with the fact he’s realised he’s transgender. The emotions that Dean struggles through, the bitterness, the anger, the visceral feelings he has, was genuinely so relatable that it hurt to read. Coming to terms with being trans can be such a HUGE struggle, on top of being outed, having a non supportive parent of your sexuality (and then gender), dating someone who likes girls when you’re not a girl, being bullied and attacked, not feeling like anyone understands it, it’s tough. It’s exhausting. I have had similar experiences to the main character, especially with being in a relationship, having a parent who doesn’t want to understand or accept you and being bullied for who you are. The book doesn’t sugarcoat anything, especially the cruelty that you can also show when you’re feeling alone, lied too and so exhausted from the emotional pain of everything. I think the only things I wasnt entirely keen on (but was somewhat cleared up in a sense) was how fast Dean wanted to rush into things, especially with testosterone and Top Surgery. I think when you realise you’re trans, it’s this voice in your head going GO GO GO and it’s kinda hard to set a pace for yourself. Overall, the side characters were great, I enjoyed the ending & that it wasn’t absolutely perfect, it was bittersweet in a way. Trigger warnings are: transphobia, assault, suicide mention, slurs, homophobic slurs, mentions of gender dysphoria, family abuse, homophobia, outing