Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
Thought provoking
Comforting

Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There

Tara Schuster2020
Brutally honest, often hilarious, hard-won lessons in learning to love and care for yourself from a former vice president at Comedy Central who was called “ahead of her time” by Jordan Peele “You’re going to want Tara Schuster to become your new best friend.”—Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Untamed “Compelling, persuasive, and useful no matter where you are in your life.”—Chelsea Handler, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Life Will Be the Death of Me By the time she was in her late twenties, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame, owing in large part to her minimally parented upbringing. She realized she’d hit rock bottom when she drunk-dialed her therapist pleading for help. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a “ninja of self-love.” Through simple, daily rituals, Tara transformed her mind, body, and relationships, and shows how to • fake gratitude until you actually feel gratitude • excavate your emotional wounds and heal them with kindness • identify your self-limiting beliefs, kick them to the curb, and start living a life you choose • silence your inner frenemy and shield yourself from self-criticism • carve out time each morning to start your day empowered, inspired, and ready to rule • create a life you truly, totally f*cking LOVE This is the book Tara wished someone had given her and it is the book many of us desperately need: a candid, hysterical, addictively readable, practical guide to growing up (no matter where you are in life) and learning to love yourself in a non-throw-up-in-your-mouth-it’s-so-cheesy way.
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Reviews

Photo of Des
Des@mechaderay
2.5 stars
Apr 21, 2023

Self help book for white women who have enough money to buy new journals to get them through to the next thing and absolutely despise smoking weed. I want to say nicer things about it, but that was my major take away. I think there is some good advice in there, but overall, its just a meh.

Photo of Michaela
Michaela@meileen36
4 stars
Jan 18, 2023

This was a good read! I joke about my mental health all the time and I try not to talk about it too seriously (except when needed) so the tweet-like language people mentioned actually really helped me relate to this book.

Photo of Charlee Boone
Charlee Boone@appetite-for-books
4 stars
Dec 15, 2022

I really enjoyed this book. I felt the stories were heartfelt and connected to the advice. while some of the tools and rituals she mentioned were obvious others were not. I did take away a lot from this book. she is super funny and it felt like having a chat with my bestie.

+1
Photo of Elizabeth Moore
Elizabeth Moore@haddyaddy
5 stars
Jun 9, 2022

Well. This book is WONDERFUL. Tara Schuster’s journey to self love is authentic, vulnerable, joyful, and poignant, and she’s made me decide I WILL take a bath in the sunshine, I WILL by the fucking lilies, I WILL write in a goddamn journal, and I WILL send washi-tape-entombed thank you notes while I enjoy my vegetables.I understand it caters to a certain demographic, but regardless of audience this book is completely beyond its shelf mates in the “fun and modern and nothing to be ashamed about at all!” self care/self help genre and I fucking loved it. Tara Schuster is an empathetic, vulnerable, self-aware, warm, and supportive human being, and she bewitchingly has figured out how to apply those traits to herself (impossible? I know, I thought so too). It was validating and weirdly thrilling to identify so deeply with another human being’s weaknesses and wounds and realities. Her advice for re-parenting yourself, for telling yourself it’s totally OK and actually good to want to enjoy life and that being perma-stressed and lost and on edge shouldn’t, actually, be the status quo, for just being fucking NICE to yourself, is honestly just lovely - it is as helpful as it is uplifting and validating and evening sometimes cringe-ily painful to read. I love Tara and I love her honesty and the work she has done on herself and her life doesn’t end with her - she has the generosity and discipline and confidence to share it with others. READ THIS AND THEN GO BUY SOME NICE CANDLES THAT YOU TOLD YOURSELF LAST WEEK YOU COULDNT HAVE BECAUSE YOU DIDNT DESERVE THEM.

Photo of Corey White
Corey White@mswhiteandherlibrary
5 stars
Jan 13, 2022

I loved this self-help/self-improvement book. It spoke to me as I related to most of her life experiences in varying degrees. I can't imagine this would be the self-help for everyone, but I loved her voice, her actually actionable steps and her honesty. Healing yourself is WORK. But she's there to talk you through the steps, not just throw flowery "you can do it" language at you.

Photo of Salam Kabbani
Salam Kabbani@theunabridgedlifeofsalamacita
2.5 stars
Nov 4, 2021

Favorite Quote: "That which you do not deal with deals with you." This book was a mixed bag for me. Author Tara Schuster walks us through her past leading to the present and all the adversities she has had to overcome to get to where she is at in life. I had a very high level of sympathy for Tara, especially when learning about her dysfunctional family dynamics growing up. I appreciated the level of detail and vulnerability that she shared with us, and this served two purposes. The first purpose was to highlight just how far she has come, and the extraordinary measures she took to turn her life around. The second purpose was to show the reader that he too can turn his life around and achieve his goals, no matter his background, because of she can do it, anyone can. There were several things I didn't like about the book. I felt like she was talking at the reader the majority of the time, and it seemed a bit patronizing at times. I recognize that this may simply be that I have not shared her past experiences or that I have read many self-development books before this one, so maybe her message is not necessarily what I need to read at this point in my life. I also listened to the audiobook, so it my perception may have been different if I was reading it versus hearing the author's voice. Another thing I did not like was her negative reference of the Marie Kondo method. I recognize that Tara's book is all about helping people get their lives together, and it seems like part of the negative reference to Mari Kondo was more to make things within arms reach for the reader. Regardless, I felt like the number of times she repeated it came off petty and was simply unnecessary. I think this book is appropriate as a starter self-development book. As stated before I have so much respect for the author and all the adversities she has overcome in her life. The method with which she delivered the message did not jibe well with my personal taste; however, perhaps another reader will be more in sync with her style.

Photo of Salam Kabbani
Salam Kabbani@theunabridgedlifeofsalamacita
2 stars
Nov 3, 2021

Rating: 2.5 stars Favorite Quote: "That which you do not deal with deals with you." This book was a mixed bag for me. Author Tara Schuster walks us through her past leading to the present and all the adversities she has had to overcome to get to where she is at in life. I had a very high level of sympathy for Tara, especially when learning about her dysfunctional family dynamics growing up. I appreciated the level of detail and vulnerability that she shared with us, and this served two purposes. The first purpose was to highlight just how far she has come, and the extraordinary measures she took to turn her life around. The second purpose was to show the reader that he too can turn his life around and achieve his goals, no matter his background, because of she can do it, anyone can. There were several things I didn't like about the book. I felt like she was talking at the reader the majority of the time, and it seemed a bit patronizing at times. I recognize that this may simply be that I have not shared her past experiences or that I have read many self-development books before this one, so maybe her message is not necessarily what I need to read at this point in my life. I also listened to the audiobook, so it my perception may have been different if I was reading it versus hearing the author's voice. Another thing I did not like was her negative reference of the Marie Kondo method. I recognize that Tara's book is all about helping people get their lives together, and it seems like part of the negative reference to Mari Kondo was more to make things within arms reach for the reader. Regardless, I felt like the number of times she repeated it came off petty and was simply unnecessary. I think this book is appropriate as a starter self-development book. As stated before I have so much respect for the author and all the adversities she has overcome in her life. The method with which she delivered the message did not jibe well with my personal taste; however, perhaps another reader will be more in sync with her style.

Photo of Ava Shaffer
Ava Shaffer@avshffer
5 stars
Oct 26, 2021

I feel like a 5x healthier and better person just from reading this book. I’m not sure what it is about this genre (memoir/self help/comedy?) but I absolutely love it. Tara’s writing was so fresh and insightful, I felt like she was sitting right across from me giving me some great life advice. My copy of this book is chock-full of annotations, highlights, underlines, & sticky notes which is a great indicator that I devoured & loved this book. I would honestly recommend this book to anyone in my life and know that every person would at least take away one important lesson from it.

Photo of Chelsea White
Chelsea White@itschelseaw
5 stars
Sep 26, 2021

This book was chock full of sound advice, actionable things (journaling! Writing your affirmations out and hanging them around your house!) that I absolutely loved and incorporated into my life after hearing how they helped Schuster out. I love how she explained WHY the steps she took helped her, that made the advice seem more tangible than other books I’ve read that deal with similar subjects. I liked this so much I’m probably going to buy it, rather than just check it out from the library like I did this first time reading it!

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Emily @emnicole
3.5 stars
May 21, 2023
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Sofia Spinnato @sofiaspin
5 stars
Jan 20, 2023
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Kristina Hayes@kehayes113
4.5 stars
Sep 11, 2022
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Sabrina Fox@sabrinafx
5 stars
Aug 25, 2022
Photo of Yuzu
Yuzu@yuzu
4 stars
Sep 19, 2021
+1
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LC@lower_colon
4 stars
Jul 5, 2024
Photo of Megan Gardner
Megan Gardner@mmgardner
3 stars
May 15, 2024
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Marcy Pursell @mpursell21
3 stars
Feb 12, 2024
Photo of Megan During
Megan During@megs22
1 star
Oct 23, 2023
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Sophie Richard@sophieenglehart
5 stars
Sep 24, 2023
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Sergei Khudovekov@khudovekov
3 stars
May 28, 2023
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Savanah Tujague@savanah2j
3 stars
Mar 1, 2023
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Coley T@cholleywholley
5 stars
Jan 30, 2023
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Kelsey Moreland@kelsey_readsnwrites
3 stars
Aug 29, 2022
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Kelsey Colvard@kelseypaige
5 stars
May 1, 2022

Highlights

Photo of Rebecca
Rebecca@rebeccalk

Given enough care, the objects you surround yourself with can become amulets, energetically charged with your love and attention. Your wooden kitchen table, which you wipe down with oil once a month and always use coasters on, is no longer just any table, its a talisman. It's a symbol of how much you value meals with family and friends. Your sweat equity seals the power of the table.

Page 158
Photo of Makayla Masson-Campbell
Makayla Masson-Campbell@makaylamasson

Today, I tell young people who ask for professional advice to be the best at the worst. Take whatever weird little opportunity you have and maximize the fuck out of it. (...) Simply put: Start where you are without worrying too much about how far you have to go.

Page 5