Guy Adams

Cassandra Khaw

Jonathan L. Howard

Gaie Sebold

Tauriq Moosa

Mimi Mondal

Patrick Lofgren

Joseph Guthrie

The True History of the Strange Brigade

Sarah Escorsa

Mathematically computed rating: 2.8875 stars.

With stories by my boyfriend Jojo's daddy (aka Jonathan L. Howard) and my girlfriend Babylon Steel's mommy (aka Gaie Sebold), this collection should have been Slightly Very Good Material (SVGM™). Yeah, well, um, no.



Moderately crushed I am, yes.

What makes this even more moderately crushing is that the collection is a scrumptiously diverse and most wonderfully NOT Eurocentric feast. Which, you have to admit, is quite the deliciously refreshing combo. And what makes this even more more moderately crushing is that some of the stories in the collection give off quite the titillating Indiana Jones vibes. And it is a truth universally acknowledged that Indiana Jones vibes = 



BUT. It turns out most of the stories are meh as fish and all the glorious diversity, exotic settings and Indy vibes in the world just won't change a thing about this most distressing fact. Because life sucks and stuff. 

(Oh, and by the way, this collection was apparently inspired by a video game called...Dun dun dun and stuff...Strange Brigade. I think. I mean, as I may or may not have mentioned before, I'm somewhat out of the loop when it comes to gaming—the last time I played a video game, it was Pac-Man. On my Atari 2600. Because I'm cool like that—so you might want to NOT trust me on this one.)

Okay, it seems that some of you actually have puny real lives outside of Goodreads and couldn't care less about the fascinating stuff I might have to say about each individual story in this collection, so kindly provide a with a time-saving YES Perhaps Maybe Then Again Maybe Not NO Recap (YPMTAMNNR™) I shall:

🥇 You really really want to read 🥇
✔ Where you Bury Things by Guy Adams.
✔ Tessie's Song by Joseph Guthrie.
✔ Peccavi, Or If Thy Father by Mimi Mondal.

★ You might want to read ★
✔ The Professor’s Dilemma by Tauriq Moosa.
✔ Nalangu’s Trials by Gaie Sebold.

💀 You do not want to read 💀
✘ And Was Jerusalem Builded Here? by Cassandra Khaw.
✘ Ripples In A Polluted Pool by Jonathan L. Howard (view spoiler)[😭😭 (hide spoiler)].
✘ The Island Of Nightmares by Patrick Lofgren.

(view spoiler)[
  
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Now off You People of the Puny Real Lives (YPotPRL™) go, while off to share my insightful (if despicably short) insight on the individual stories in this collection I am. Here goes and stuff. 



① 
  And Was Jerusalem Builded Here?
 by Cassandra Khaw: DNF of Doom and Oblivion, as expected. (I thought that Khaw’s Food of the Gods was so captivating I abandoned the book at least halfway through at the 21% mark, so I didn’t exactly have high expectations for this one.) 

I DNFed read this story less than a month ago and already can't remember a bloody shrimping thing about it. I think that might possibly be a bad sign. Maybe. Oh wait, I do recall that it was boring as fish and made me yawn to death. Yay for my grey cells not being completely fried! Right. Moving on and stuff.



② 
  Ripples In A Polluted Pool
 by Jonathan L. Howard: DNF of Doom and Oblivion, as absolutely NOT expected (view spoiler)[😭😭 (hide spoiler)]. 

Why? WHY? I mean, WHY??????? This cannot have been written by my boyfriend Jojo's daddy. In fact, I'm pretty sure this was written by Jonathan L. Howard's evil twin. There is no other possible explanation, if you ask me. And I'll leave it at that. You're welcome and stuff.



③ 
  The Professor’s Dilemma
 by Tauriq Moosa: 3 stars.

Too bad this one was so revoltingly short. Okay, so it's supposed to be short, since it's, um, well, err, a short story. But some short stories seem to be shorter than other short stories (while they are not in fact technically shorter than those other short stories) and to end when they are only just beginning (or is it that they seem to begin when they are only just ending?) and I find that most frustratingly frustrating. This one has pretty good potential (because the mere mention of "female leaders of ancient Egypt" + Sumeria = YUM), but just as things were getting really 

 

See what I did there? 😬



④ 
  Nalangu’s Trials
 by Gaie Sebold|4385310: 2.75 stars.

This one was pretty meh but Sebold gets bonus points for writing about the Maasai (view spoiler)[😍😍 (hide spoiler)]. And also for being my girlfriend Babylon Steel's mommy. And that's about it. Yay.



⑤ 
  Where you Bury Things
 by Guy Adams: 4 stars.

Definitely the best story in this collection. Because India + Australia + Aboriginal people + hahahahaha + slightly cool characters + funny dialogues + oops, is that a bullet I just put between those lovely eyes of yours? + hahahahaha again = I want more and stuff.





⑥ 
  Peccavi, Or If Thy Father
 by Mimi Mondal: 3.5 stars.

There go my grey cells again. Bloody shrimping hell of the stinking fish, I can hardly remember anything about this one 🙄. Which should be a bad sign (as seen up there ↑↑) but probably isn't since I gave the story a moderately acceptable rating. Okay, so I remember it's set in India, and that it's about a family curse. Oh, and there's a philandering father involved, too. And spoiler spoiler spoiler. And also spoiler spoiler spoiler (aka all the stuff I don't remember about this story). And there you have it and stuff.



⑦ 
  The Island Of Nightmares
 by Patrick Lofgren: DNF of Doom and Oblivion.

This story is set in Japan, which had me slightly very excited at first. Said excitement didn't last. And was quickly replaced by a Major Case of the Ewwww (MCotE™) . I have pretty high tolerance for all things deliciously bloody and gory, but there are some things that are too upsetting even for my beautifully nefarious stomach. Granted, maybe I should not have started reading this story while eating dinner. But I did, so I did. Oh, and by the way, this one is depressing as fish. And Not Very Fascinating (NVF™). Neither of which helped. In case you were wondering.



⑧ 
  Tessie's Song
 by Joseph Guthrie: 3.85 stars.

All stories featuring a heroine who drinks bourbon and cognac as if they were water are worth reading. Especially when said heroine is an aviator who kicks derriere. And that, my Little Barnacles, is a scientifically proven fact. Also, non-stop action + somewhat undead monsters + “miss ma’am” + pterodactyls = 





The end and stuff. Resume your puny human lives now you may.

Brittany Levely-Connolly

The True History of the Strange Brigade

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