Dolly Alderton

Every relationship has one beginning. This one has two endings. Andy loves Jen. Jen loved Andy. And he can't work out why she stopped. Now he is. . . 1. Without a home 2. Waiting for his stand-up career to take off 3. Wondering why everyone else around him seems to have grown up while he wasn't looking Set adrift on the sea of heartbreak at a time when everything he thought he knew about women, and flat-sharing, and his friendships has transformed beyond recognition, Andy clings to the idea of solving the puzzle of their broken relationship. Because if he can find the answer to that, then maybe Jen can find her way back to him. Andy still has a lot to learn, not least his ex-girlfriend's side of the story. From the bestselling author of Ghosts and Everything I Know About Love- a sharply funny, beautifully observed and exquisitely relatable story of heartbreak and friendship, and how to survive both.

Good Material

karina

“Getting dumped is never really about getting dumped. … It’s about every rejection you’ve ever experienced in your entire life. It’s about the kids at school who called you names. And the parent who never came back. And the girls who wouldn’t dance with you at the disco. And the school girlfriend who wanted to be single until she went to uni. And any criticism at work. When someone says they don’t want to be with you, you feel the pain of every single one of those times in life where you felt like you weren’t good enough. You live through all of it again. … You don’t let go once. That’s your first mistake. You say goodbye for a lifetime. … You have to be prepared to let go and let go and let go a thousand times.”

Connie Meade

And then we met and fell in love and we introduced each other to all of it, like children showing each other their favorite toys. That instinct never goes-look at my fire engine, look at my vinyl collection. Look at all these things I’ve chosen to represent who I am. It was fun to find out about each other's self-made cultures and make our own hybrid in the years of eating, watching, reading, listening, sleeping and living together. Our culture was tea drunk from very large mugs. And looking forward to the Glastonbury ticket day and the new season of Game of Thrones and taking the piss out of ourselves for being just like everyone else. Our culture was over-tipping in restaurants because we both used to work in the service industry, salty popcorn at the cinema and afternoon naps. Side-by-side morning sex. Homemade Manhattans. Barmade Manhattans (much better). Otis Redding's “Cigarettes and Coffee" (our song). Discovering a new song we both loved and listening to it over and over again until we couldn't listen to it any more. Period dramas on a Sunday night. That one perfect vibrator that finished her off in seconds when we were in a rush. Gravy. David Hockney. Truffle crisps. Can you believe it? I still can't believe it.  A smell indisputably reminiscent of bums. On a crisp. And yet we couldn’t get enough of them together - stuffing them in our gobs, her head on my chest, me trying not to get crumbs in her hair as we watched Sense and Sensibility (1995). But I’m not a member of that club anymore. No one is. It’s been disbanded, dissolved, the domain is no longer valid. So what do I do with all this stuff? Where do I put it all? Where do I take all my new discoveries now I’m no longer in a tribe of two? And if I start a new sub-genre of love with someone else, am I allowed to bring in all the things I loved from the last one? Or would that be weird? 

yearner.

 Was the way Andy loved me actually nothing to do with me, and instead just the Andy Experience a woman gets when he chooses her?

Lotte Tielemans

‘But do I ever think about what my life would have been like had I been brave enough to not become a mother? Had I been brave enough to even imagine what that life could have been like?’ 

‘Life is a bit more difficult for women. More difficult than it is for us, I mean. And you don’t need to ask them to explain why or understand at all. You just need to be nice to them.’ He looks up at me nervously. ‘ Do you understand what I’m saying?’

'Getting dumped is never really about getting dumped.' 'What is it about, then? I ask. ‘It's about every rejection you' ve ever experienced in your entire life. It's about the kids at school who called you names. And the parent who never came back. And the girls who wouldn't dance with you at the disco. And the school girlfriend who wanted to be single when she went to uni. And any criticism at work. When someone says they don't want to be with you, you feel the pain of every single one of those times in life where you felt like you weren't good enough. You live through all of it again.

I'm sorry that I loved you so much more than I liked myself, that must have been a lot to carry. I'm sorry I didn't take care of you the way you took care of me. And I'm sorry I didn't take care of myself, either. I need to work on it. I'm pleased that our break-up taught me that. I'm sorry I went so mental. I love you. I always will. I'm glad we met.

You don't let go once. That's your first mistake. You say goodbye over a lifetime. You might not have thought about her for ten years, then youll hear a Song or you'll walk past somewhere you once went together - something will come to the surface that you'd totally forgotten about. And you say another goodbye. You have to be prepared to let go and let go and let go a thousand times. 

There are so many ahead of me that I haven't even thought of yet. I've been so busy mourning Jen, I'd forgotten I'd have to mourn us four too. 

Manuela Miksa

I’m an artist, this is what we do. We overanalyse. We masticate our misery until it's pulverized enough to swallow. 

Emma Hak-Kovacs

“Jesus fucking Christ, don't have a kid or get married because you're worried about being alone,” she said, rubbing my back. I sat upright in my chair and she held me by my shoulders. “Be alone, Jen. You know how to be alone without being lonely. Do you know how rare that is? Do you know how much I wish I could do that? It's a wonderful thing you've got going on there.“

“Everything you want to do in your life, you can do without a man, Jen.”

“You don't let go once. That's your first mistake. You say goodbye over a lifetime. You might not have thought about her for ten years, then you'll hear a song or you'll walk past somewhere you once went together - something will come to the surface that you'd totally forgotten about. And you say another goodbye. You have to be prepared to let go and let go and let go a thousand times.”

“Getting dumped is never dumped. really about getting dumped.”

“lt's about every rejection you've ever experienced in your entire life. It's about the kids at school who called you names. And the parent who never came back. And the girls who wouldn't dance with you at the disco. And the school girlfriend who wanted to be single when she went to uni. And any criticism at work. When someone says they don't want to be with you, you feel the pain of every single one of those times in life where you felt like you weren't good enough. You live through all of it again.”

We shifted from over familiarity to inquisitiveness from sentence to sentence; alternating from feeling like old friends to strangers. We gave too much information about ourselves, then we pulled back. We got a kick out of the novelty of each other.

I’ve read 2 of Dolly’s books (twice over!), but this one being a novel, about a comedian, from a man’s perspective with a victim complex, was very out of character! 

Though Andy was a frustrating to live through, notably when you experience him through his girlfriend, Dolly makes you sympathise with both of them (although especially the gfs at the end which was needed!). 

Not a book I’d read again but sadly a realistic representation of modern post break-ups.  Unfortunately validating that men really don’t see it coming despite all the signs 🥲 Everything I know About Love by Dolly remains my fav book 💗

Jazz j

I’ve read 2 of Dolly’s books (twice over!), but this one being a novel, about a comedian, from a man’s perspective with a victim complex, was very out of character! 

Though Andy was a frustrating to live through, notably when you experience him through his girlfriend, Dolly makes you sympathise with both of them (although especially the gfs at the end which was needed!). 

Not a book I’d read again but sadly a realistic representation of modern post break-ups.  Unfortunately validating that men really don’t see it coming despite all the signs 🥲 Everything I know About Love by Dolly remains my fav book 💗

0 stars. dnf. So fucking bad. So fucking boring. Hate Andy so much. 

gishelle

Funny and heartbreaking at the same time. Rich in details and relatable. An easy read but at the same time thought-provoking

Juli

The story is quite funny, I laughed at some parts. But it also contains boring parts which took me so long to finish for a fast paced book. Thanks for writing Jen, I'm so into her POV, her character, and her ending was peak. 

علي

Charming and witty- Andy … believably insufferable. Full of a lot of heart. It read to me like a really entertaining TV show! Enjoyed it

Annie Millman

Andy’s unhinged behavior during his breakup + the general woes of being a comedian trying to “make it” made me feel sooo anxious while reading this, oof. The final chapter, which switched to Jen’s perspective, was actually the best part of the book and I thought the ending was somewhat redeeming.

Jacqui Spears

I hated Andy. All i thought the whole time was men. He behaves like a literal child after the Breakup. And Thinking your ex ruined your life... -not the move. You can exist without a woman!  Janes chapter was literaly the best. Even though i have to admit this has still all a dolly alderton book is known for. BUT i feel like a greater message was left out because this was from a Male Point of View And what i love most about dollys writing: how she depicts female thoughts And pics apart the complex feelings one has about being a Woman. 

Celina Irena Kuhn

Really just read the last chapter lol.

I hated Andy. All i thought the whole time was men. He behaves like a literal child after the Breakup. And Thinking your ex ruined your life... -not the move. You can exist without a woman!  Janes chapter was literaly the best. Even though i have to admit this has still all a dolly alderton book is known for. BUT i feel like a greater message was left out because this was from a Male Point of View And what i love most about dollys writing: how she depicts female thoughts And pics apart the complex feelings one has about being a Woman. 

It turns out I don’t really care about an aimless, boring man, who doesn't have much a personality and feels he’s the victim, dealing with a breakup. 

Maura 

Emotional intelligent, relatable, funny, and just what I needed. 

Abdullah Raza

Emotional intelligent, relatable, funny, and just what I needed. 

right book, right person, right time. 

Similar to “Fleishman is in Trouble” and even “Fates and Furies” in structure and theme, preferred it to “Fleishman” from a relatability standpoint. 

Jess Rez

i love how dolly alderton packed everything in a unique-humorous way, yet i still get the answers that i need. the way small things somehow matter to the point i need to go back to some of the pages. this book is the first book that i read from her and it leaving me such a unique impression (in a good way). ps. i love Jen and i need a separate book about her.

almeera

sometimes all a break up can do is provide good material (for a story, for a time in your life, etc)

The most modern book I’ve read in a while. Loved the ending. 

Hannah Wilken

Once it was introduced as a plot device I could not stop trying to figure out why they devoted an entire newspaper article to a comedian that has absolutely no career traction

Regan Martin

I absolutely loved that Jen finally booked her big trip to South America for MARCH 2020! She definitely doesn't get to go. 

Rebecca Harwood

girlie WHY was it a surprise to you that comedians are emotionally needy

lucy rosenthal

Loved the first 2/3rds but honestly felt it dragged on unnecessarily.

This book is so sneaky. Dolly! You are a sneak. I’m going to be real for a minute. I think ever since I was fifteen I have felt this little black pit in my heart that opened up when I started to see that the ways women and men were expected and even encouraged to behave and function in relationships were very different from one another. It can be hard not to lose hope that this will ever truly get better, especially as it seems the aims of feminism are somehow only becoming more triggering to some people. All I can say is that, with the black pit in mind, this book was healing for me to read. The chatty voice and humor belie the very important work being done here, which is using the POV of a man so confused about why his girlfriend broke up with him to illustrate larger problems about how men aren’t expected/encouraged to work on their emotional intelligence and therefore ultimately make for poor partners to the women they love, who, conversely, are taught to bear excess emotional labor and ultimately fall out of love when they realize that, not only is no one is taking care of them, but they aren’t even being appreciated. I cried and felt like Dolly was giving the girl and woman in me a hug all at once. My dad picked out and bought me this though, so that’s a plus.

Margo Koss

I just love Dolly Aldertons Books! The plot was so good! I constantly wondered (just like Andy!) why Jen broke up with him and also thought He was very annoying. The ending was so good I loved to read about their story from Jens perspective and I also liked that they both got their own happy end.

Good Material

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