Maia Kobabe

"It’s also a great resource for those who identify as nonbinary or asexual as well as for those who know someone who identifies that way and wish to better understand." — School Library Journal (starred review) In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia’s intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, Gender Queer is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity—what it means and how to think about it—for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere.

Gender Queer: A Memoir

Aistė

... I began to think of gender less as a scale and more as a landscape.

Some people are born in the mountains, while others are born by the sea. Some people are happy to live in the place they were born, while others must make a journey to reach the climate in which they can flourish and grow.

Between the ocean and the mountains is a wild forest.

The clearest metaphor I had for my own gender identity in college was the image of a scale. A huge weight had been placed on one side, without my permission. I was constantly trying to weigh down the other side.

But the end goal wasn't masculinity- the goal was balance.

jenn

I really liked this I docked half a point for the wincest thing but it was very relatable. I especially liked the conversations with eir family and them being confused and supportive but up to a point because I thought that was realistic, like obviously those are conversations e has had with eir family but it also is a common reaction I’ve noticed and it felt really real to me. I typed out a bunch of other scenes that I thought were really well-done and well-explained, or thoughts that I’ve directly had before, but it kinda ended up being the whole thing. the art was also super good in this too! I would recommend this! I struggle with rating memoirs, because it’s a real person so there can’t really be plot critique, but the narrative was cohesive, the writing was well-done, and the art was pretty, so what more could you ask for

fris🐝

Sarah Sammis

Like Outbreak Diaries by Jason Turner (2022), Gender Queer doesn't really have a thematic arc beyond being autobiographical and being about confusion and dysphoria. By this I mean, the book starts, and mostly goes chronologically, and then it stops. I realize life goes on but little bit of a wrap up would have been nice.

http://pussreboots.com/blog/2023/comm...

This book has been at the center of so many censorship debates, and I live in a state with some of the worst of it. I’ve had customers yell at me specifically because we had this on our store.

After reading it, I want to cry. Nothing, not a single thing in this book attempts to “indoctrinate” young people like so many have claimed. It’s just a queer person sharing eir experience. Most of it is about the author’s reluctance to stand up for emself in even the smallest ways. I can’t imagine the stress and pain that the backlash to this book must have caused em. 

Yes, it does depict scenes regarding the author’s sexuality, including masturbation and sex. But they are so mild compared to the (actually harmful) things teens can find on the internet for free, and I remember reading school assigned books that were more explicit. I could see this book being a really valuable resource for teens who are going through puberty and don’t feel like they fit the dichotomy that most books and classes teach them. 

Last year, a customer picked this book up and screamed at me, “LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE?” Mind you, I am visibly queer and androgynous. To that woman, and all people who have that reaction, I would like to ask, “Why don’t YOU just leave US the fuck alone? Why is it a crime to exist in front of you? Who are we hurting by sharing honest stories about our lives?”

Cloudface

This book has been at the center of so many censorship debates, and I live in a state with some of the worst of it. I’ve had customers yell at me specifically because we had this on our store.
After reading it, I want to cry. Nothing, not a single thing in this book attempts to “indoctrinate” young people like so many have claimed. It’s just a queer person sharing eir experience. Most of it is about the author’s reluctance to stand up for emself in even the smallest ways. I can’t imagine the stress and pain that the backlash to this book must have caused em. 
Yes, it does depict scenes regarding the author’s sexuality, including masturbation and sex. But they are so mild compared to the (actually harmful) things teens can find on the internet for free, and I remember reading school assigned books that were more explicit. I could see this book being a really valuable resource for teens who are going through puberty and don’t feel like they fit the dichotomy that most books and classes teach them. 
Last year, a customer picked this book up and screamed at me, “LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE?” Mind you, I am visibly queer and androgynous. To that woman, and all people who have that reaction, I would like to ask, “Why don’t YOU just leave US the fuck alone? Why is it a crime to exist in front of you? Who are we hurting by sharing honest stories about our lives?”

there were a few things i didn't enjoy but i felt like it wasn't worth taking off a star. maia just gets me idk

the best part of reading this book is that my mom read it first & gave it to me :,) sweet read, would have loved to have read it when i was younger

mira lee

There were many parts that spoke to me, but there were also some that left me conflicted, making this book difficult to finish. Given how controversial this book is, I expected something more contentious. It was not particularly contentious; in fact, it was rather mundane. The author talked about their childhood experiences. The majority of the time, I felt like I was intruding too much into the author's personal life, but that could be because I have never read memoirs before, so I am not sure if that is how you are supposed to feel while reading them. This wasn’t particularly for me, but I understand that a lot of people need a book like this. It can be extremely beneficial and validating if you are still figuring out who you are.

Mythos

3.5/5 stars
There were many parts that spoke to me, but there were also some that left me conflicted, making this book difficult to finish. Given how controversial this book is, I expected something more contentious. It was not particularly contentious; in fact, it was rather mundane. The author talked about their childhood experiences. The majority of the time, I felt like I was intruding too much into the author's personal life, but that could be because I have never read memoirs before, so I am not sure if that is how you are supposed to feel while reading them. This wasn’t particularly for me, but I understand that a lot of people need a book like this. It can be extremely beneficial and validating if you are still figuring out who you are.

Absolutely brilliant read, I'm so glad I came across this, as it really is beautifully written. The ending was quite unexpected and abrupt, but otherwise the story flowed very well, and I never got bored or felt like putting it down.

As a non-binary asexual person, I related to a good chunk of the experiences, and it was really nice to see that I'm not the only one who went through those feelings and struggles. There were also plenty of things I haven't experienced, but they were just as-- if not more-- interesting to read about. I honestly found it really fascinating to see things from a new perspective, especially illustrated.

Eir art is incredible, and the anecdotes and metaphors are really effective in getting the point across, as well as creating beautiful images in the reader's mind.

I definitely recommend people to read this, as, regardless of whether you're part of the lgbtq community or not, it's a really nice and easy way to help yourself understand other people's experiences, or to help you understand your own identity. 

Absolutely brilliant read, I'm so glad I came across this, as it really is beautifully written. The ending was quite unexpected and abrupt, but otherwise the story flowed very well, and I never got bored or felt like putting it down.

As a non-binary asexual person, I related to a good chunk of the experiences, and it was really nice to see that I'm not the only one who went through those feelings and struggles. There were also plenty of things I haven't experienced, but they were just as-- if not more-- interesting to read about. I honestly found it really fascinating to see things from a new perspective, especially illustrated.

Eir art is incredible, and the anecdotes and metaphors are really effective in getting the point across, as well as creating beautiful images in the reader's mind.

I definitely recommend people to read this, as, regardless of whether you're part of the lgbtq community or not, it's a really nice and easy way to help yourself understand other people's experiences, or to help you understand your own identity. 

Danny Werhane

I really liked this and related to Maia a lot. The ending felt a bit abrupt

Ozge Kara

I am just so, so, so sorry that people go through these traumatic experiences of not being comfortable in their own body. While I was reading the book I realised that an almost ridiculous amount of time was spent thinking about body, gender, sexuality… And while I think that it can be philosophical and very progressive to have these thoughts on a societal level, I am also sorry that something cis people just assume and never give a second thought takes so much emotional space of trans and nonbinary people. I thought a lot about the book after I finished it and I realised I never questioned my gender and I loved my name. On the other hand, it was so hard for me to come out as bisexual and I spent so much time thinking that I wasted my life with being “confused”. Anyways. 
Back to the book. Beautifully drawn. Beautifully narrated. Page turner. I was immersed in the story a million percent. It was a thought provoking and enjoyable read.

Tori Perdue

Prashanth Srivatsa

Maia's journey into gender non-binaryhood - replete with discomforts, reluctances, support, moments of tender joys, and quite often, the sheer wonder of discovery - is delicately designed and portrayed in this graphic novel. Eir experiences are less a roadmap to realizing e are non-binary, and more a crumpled, yet beautiful, blueprint of the utter chaos of self-discovery. And bonus points for the NaNoWriMo reference.

Shay

This was a very emotional memoir about identity, gender, and finding your people. It's hard for me to review memoirs because I find it hard to 'rate' someone's lived experience. 

I will say that Kobabe approached this memoir with so much raw honesty and vulnerability. I can't imagine. I learned so much about how other people might experience gender by reading this book. I learned about Spivak pronouns (which I'd never heard of before,) how isolating it feels to live with people who don't understand you, and how painful it can be to be rejected and ignored over something so simple as how you perceive someone.

Some parts of this comic felt a little close to home. As a pre-teen and teenager I experienced a lot of body dysphoria. I experienced similar confusion with my sexuality and gender and I struggled with not having anyone to talk to about it. Although I don't experience gender dysphoria anymore, my past experiences helped me understand and sympathize with what Kobabe was saying.

The only thing I didn't like was that sometimes the topic seemed to change very quickly without any transition and that made it hard to read. I would be in my feels about something Kobabe was talking about and then the next panel would be something entirely different and it jolted me out of the story. It was very abrupt and I had to keep pausing so I could digest my thoughts before moving on.

As a whole, I really enjoyed reading this memoir. The artwork was beautiful and you could really tell that Kobabe was writing from eir heart.

Beautifully rendered, by which I mean the deft way in which text and image are integrated and interwoven, but structured rather haphazardly, by which I refer to the narrative, especially in the final quarter of the book, in which the author struggles to find an appropriate conclusion. I respect the honesty and the lack of polemics.

Rick Powell

if it weren't for this book i might still be cis

Joyce

What a great little story about coming out, figuring out who you are in a society that doesn't necessarily even have the proper labels for you. 

I picked this book up to see what all the fuss was about and enjoyed a gentle coming out story full of thoughtfulness and honesty.  

Krys C

What a great little story about coming out, figuring out who you are in a society that doesn't necessarily even have the proper labels for you. 

I picked this book up to see what all the fuss was about and enjoyed a gentle coming out story full of thoughtfulness and honesty.  

Jayme Bosio

This is the third graphic memoir I have read this year. I’ve never really enjoyed biographies or memoirs, but this one was really interesting. I never considered all the emotions someone goes through when they are struggling with their identity.

Olivia George

I loved this story! Super heartwarming and relatable. The serendipitous feeing of hearing the correct label for the first time is so beautifully depicted. I loved being able to watching eir grow and change. I recommend this to everyone—especially those who might be accepting but not fully understand gender and sexuality.

Asvini Koneswaran

as a 15 year old reading this book, who is questioning their gender identity AND sexuality, it was really comforting to read and see all the experiences you had happening to other people. that didn’t make sense-

I feel like this book is definitely for someone who wants to to feel seen and maybe even clear some confusions also. I don’t know how to write a review for a memoir but its defo a recommendation gender queer/queer people out there :D

heres a quote from the book i like

 “some people are born in the mountains, while others are born in the sea. some people are happy in the place they were born, while others must make a journey to reach a climate in which they can flourish and grow

between the ocean and the mountain is a wild forrest. that is where I want to make my home.”




also shout out to my frand simar for seeing this in my want to read and getting it for my birthday! couldnt have been more fitting in my period of questioning and pride month. love ya 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

I've been thinking about my gender a lot lately and I honestly relate to a lot of Maia's feelings. Not all of them, but definitely enough that I'm becoming more sure that I'm not cisgender. I'm so glad that Maia was willing to share eir experience because seeing someone else ask some of the same questions I'm asking is so helpful in guiding what questions I want to ask next. 

Memoirs like this are just so powerful and I always feel so humbled by how much of themselves that these authors are willing to put out into the world in the hopes of reaching that one person who might need to know that their experience isn't unique.

Flavia Louise

This graphic memorír is beautifully done. I couldn't not read it in one sitting. Highly recommended.

Archer

I got this book at BookCon in 2019 and before that I didn't know it existed. I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've read about a qenderqueer aspec person and I needed it so badly. Maia is an amazing writer and artist. Eir book is exactly what I needed.

Tori W.

Toni Turner

Oof

💛💛💛
This was relatable in a lot of ways and makes me want a hug. Also surprise book lover content that made me really happy & some queer recs I need to write down haha

this book made me feel so comforted and honestly gave me such encouragement about my gender?? if that makes sense?? if you’re genderqueer, nonbinary, or cis, you should still read this. it spoke so much to not only maia’s personal journey with eir queer identity, but also the struggles and beauty of identity, and the effect is has. i felt so fucking seen.

Gender Queer: A Memoir

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