Ghost

Ghost Why Perfect Women Shrink

Iona Holloway2021
I am going to show you why your pain is invisible to everyone else, and why, in the struggle to be seen, your body became your battlefield. From the outside, your life looks polished. You're talented, successful, strong. Your perfection safeguards you against suffering. Everyone assumes you're fine, and you hide in plain sight. But the truth is that, inside, you feel like a fraud. From childhood, you've been gaslighted by your own gifts. "Good enough" is impossible. But being perfect leaves no space to be human. You suffer in silence. You use your body as a canvas to scream your pain, shrinking in a desperate bid to be visible. This book is my story and the story of women I have worked with. It is the story of how vulnerability will unlock your truth and set you free. Iona Holloway woke up one day and knew she could never go on another diet. She was willing to sacrifice her "perfect body" if it meant she felt whole-not lost, ashamed, and hopeless. She became her own guide on the hard journey of coming home to herself. Haunting, vulnerable, blunt, and stunning, Ghost is a story that reveals why strong women go to war with their bodies. In her debut memoir, Iona Holloway explores lost childhood, identity webs, hot shame, emotional freeze, love, and lineage to tell the story of how to change not just behaviours, but beliefs. How to ask for help. How to let go of perfect. Now is not the time to shrink. This book won't heal you, but it will help you find the heart to heal.
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Reviews

Photo of Kaitlyn Krna
Kaitlyn Krna@kaitynkrna
4 stars
Oct 21, 2021

Woah...this book hit me hard. Iona get it - that struggle perfectionists face. That other people are allowed to make mistakes but you own mistakes are not allowed. At some point in childhood, you were advanced and things came easily. Parts of this book read as if it were written specifically for me. The struggle of feeling unable to ask for help. The feeling of shame when you make a mistake and let everyone down. The feeling of betrayal when your brain can't understand the math (or science, etc). Not all of Iona's experiences were mine - luckily I never struggled with an eating disorder or exercise addiction. But so many of the feelings she described in the book are feelings that I have had (and even still do).