Ghosts

„Gespenster“ ist der erste Roman von Dolly Alderton den ich auf deutsch gelesen habe, und ich glaube man kann Autorin und Übersetzerin fast gleichermaßen zu einem herausragenden Coming of age Roman über das Leben junger erwachsener Frauen und dessen Schwierigkeiten gratulieren. Mir haben bis jetzt alle Alderton Romane sehr gut gefallen, aber dieser hier schildert eine der authentischsten, klügsten, charmantesten und witzigsten Storys die ich je gelesen habe.

Of loss. But mostly I felt seen as a Woman. Love how every one of her Friends depicts something different. Also yes men don't grow Up And No you don't need to have children as a women! Nina was super relatable especially her Anger on men. There were also some really great written lines. I love ninas realisation that everyone is longing for childhood and their parents.

3.5 stars. I enjoyed the first half of this novel but towards the middle/ending it just seemed to drag on a bit.

it took me forever to get through the beginning but it got really good in the second half

so real and relatable. I love dolly alderton’s writing

my sagittarius venus feels offended reading this book

single-handedly made me not want to date men

girlhood

Men (derogatory)

Blasted through this on the beach in a day or two. Forgot to pack the final book in the Silo trilogy, so I tried one of Emily's. Nice to read a book rooted in the real world for once

Really liked this book and feel like i read it at the perfect time for where i’m at in my own personal life. It’s somewhat sad but it only made the book feel more real and comparative to the real world.

Reminds me of Sally Rooney books

As someone who recently lost their parent to dementia, I was surprised at how much I related to this book. Really emotional but delightful read, especially for those around the age of 30 feeling overwhelmed by adulthood.

hit the nail on the head about how non committal men can be and how disconnected they usually are in relationships. I love dolly 🤍

amazing

Boring.

3.75

Pretty enjoyable and such delicious writing. Watch me drink everything Dolly has written from now on

I would give it a six stars if possible. I fucking love Dolly Alderton and her brain. I fucking loved this book and I will read anything she ever writes ANYTHING

I love Dolly Alderton's writing and sense of humor. I didn't really relate to her autobiographical book when I read it, but I swallow everything she writes on her social media. Having said that, I thought I would instantly fall in love with Ghosts. That wasn't the case though. At first, this story felt a little too close to home. The whole 'watching your friends get married', 'being on dating apps wishing for something that isn't there' and 'constantly having friends & family questioning you about when are you going to find a boyfriend' was a too realistic narrative that I didn't want to face on a book because it was already my life. When the ghosting happened to Nina, I could relate deeply to her because god knows I'd already been there. However, the story really took a turn in the second half and made me like these characters and their lives much more than I had up until that point. The jokes are spot on and so are the reflections the main character has. Although this is a fiction work, I really feel like Dolly Alderton put herself in many of the aspects of Nina's life and I couldn't stop imagining Nina as a blonde, even though she's a brunette.

I had to put my big girl brain on to read this

Wow, what a book. Reading Ghosts left me feeling dizzy. I tore through the pages, desperate for Nina to get a happy ending. In the Epilogue Nina didn’t seem happy, but she sure seemed content. As I hurtle towards thirty, I could relate with all the characters barring the men. I can never relate with men. Nina, Lola, Katherine, Mandy…such strong, vulnerable, wonderful women. Alderton’s writing shines when delivering sharp-eyed observations. Her keen insights into heteronormative relationships are delightful, and as a reader I found myself either vigorously nodding my head or chuckling in agreement when presented with one.

Tolles Buch. Ich hatte am Anfang Schwierigkeiten richtig rein zu kommen, aber je mehr man liest, desto vielschichtiger und spannender werden die Charaktere. Ich mag die Ehrlichkeit sehr mit der Situationen oder die Gedanken von Nina geschildert werden und die kleinen Überraschung in der Handlung, die man nicht erwartet hat. Überhaupt nicht so Rom-Com mäßig wie ich dachte und das gefällt mir sehr gut.

"The sexiest, most exciting, romantic, explosive feeling in the world is a matter of a few centimeters of skin being stroked for the first time in a public place. The first confirmation of desire. The first indication of intimacy. You only get that feeling with a person once." Nina is 32 and single. She has finally bought her dream apartment in London, thanks to her success as a recipe developer/book writer. She has two best friends, one from childhood and one from her university days, and is on good, friendly terms with her ex-boyfriend. On the family-front there are certainly some issues. Nina's dad, who she is closest to, is suffering from dementia and it's getting progressively worse, but her and her mom are handling things as best they can, just taking one day at a time. For the most part, Nina sounds like a friend we all know or a reflection of ourselves. She's successful, stable, funny, kind, pretty - so why is she still single? Well, Nina and her ex, Joe, were together for 7 years before they both decided that they loved each other, but weren't in love. They were best friends in uni and thought that would be the foundation of a lifelong partnership, but truth is they weren't soulmates. So, yeah, Nina's single and 32 but she's a little new to the dating game. Enter her perpetually single friend from uni Lola, who sets her up on the dating app Linx and thus begins Nina's tumultuous experience with the 21st century's version of torture, I mean, online dating. And boy does it torture the heck out of Nina. If I had to summarize the themes in this debut fiction novel from Dolly Alderton, I would boil it down to these three: 1. Men think they like easy-going, relaxed, wild, carefree, women. Evidence shows that they "marry" or "settle down" with confident, self-assured women who know their self-worth, what they deserve and aren't afraid to ask for, no, demand it. Alderton reinforces this observation several times throughout the novel as Nina (our tomboyish, single protagonist) admires and reveres at any and every woman who is capable of knowing and speaking their mind and yet has people who still respects and loves them. Nina has grown up thinking that in order to be liked, or keep a boyfriend, she must be flexible, mutable to suit the needs and wants of whoever she is with at the moment. And central to this book is her discovery that, yes, men tend to like and date women who agree with everything they say and laugh at all their jokes, but if being agreeable is the foundation of your relationship with someone, then that well is going to run dry in a few months, or years time. Men ultimately marry women who know what they want out of a relationship, a partner, and life. These women aren't afraid to guide the men they meet and tell them explicitly what they want. Men can't read minds, and they really don't want to anyway. "But the most compelling thing about Vivien was the spell of guruism she cast on whoever she met while being unaware of her own addictive didacticism. She would utter throwaway thoughts that would become fundamental truth to whoever heard them. She once told me to "always order turbot, if turbot is on the menu" (I always order turbot) and that "all scents are tacky other than rose" (I have since only worn rose perfume). I had never met a woman surer of her own thoughts and instincts, and it was an invigorating thing to behold." "I'd never in my life met someone so sure of what it is they not only wanted but what they deserved. I knew then, on our first date, that you were the only person I wanted to be with. You inspire me, you organize me [...] you help me strive to become the best man I can be. I once read that the definition of love is 'being the guardian of another person's solitude.' Lucy, I promise that for the rest of my life-which is as long as I will love you-you will never, ever be alone." 2. Parents are imperfect people and there comes a time when they will need your care and support as much as you need theirs. The thing is, for so long, they are our superiors, wiser, more experienced, knowledgeable in all things in life. We get used to seeking their comfort and getting their advice without having to impart any in return. And then one day, it's usually a specific event or a look or a conversation, and it hits you - your parents are old. They've got their own problems and demons that they're struggling with and it's not fair to fault them for not being perfect and not spending every minute of time you spend together focused on you and your problems. Nina deals with this and comes to this harsh realization over the length of the novel and it's lovely to see her relationship with her parents evolve into something new that she can accept and appreciate. "I had never known a feeling as unbearable-as sour, wrenching and unshakably sad-as pity for a parent." 3. Ghosts of people, contrary to popular belief, are more vibrant, emphasized versions of who they were in real life. Our memories amplify and magnify all of their good qualities and our minds fills in any holes or inconsistencies, creating a memory of the perfect man, now gone. We cherish these ghosts "Only now do I realize that the first night I spent with Max, I was looking for evidence of past lovers. I wanted him inside me so I could search for the ghosts inside him. In the absence of any context for who he was, I was gathering forensics from the inerasable fingerprints that had been left by those who had handled him." "So much of the love you feel for a person is dependent on the vast archive of shared memories you can access just by seeing their face or hearing their voice. When I saw Dad, I didn't just see a seventy-seven-year-old man with black-and-gray hair, I saw him in a swimming pool in Spain teaching me how to front crawl and I saw him waving at me in a crowd on graduation day. I saw him dropping me off for my first morning of primary school and leading the conga line around the living room at a Christmas Eve drinks party in our flat in Albyn Square." "I woke up every morning and checked my phone hoping for a message from him, as I had done for months, and in a half-sleep state would feel disappointment. Then I'd turn to see him lying asleep next to me-a pile of sinewy limbs and golden curly hair. I had the flesh and blood version of Max, but I still felt like I was being haunted by the virtual one." "Or maybe that's all love is. So much is how we perceive someone and the memories we have of them, rather than the facts of who they are. Maybe instead of saying I love you we should say I imagine you." Overall, this is a strong first foray into fiction. Notably, I was so captivated and invested in Nina's life, like she was my own friend telling me the riveting story of how she got ghosted by the same guy *twice* in one year, that I stayed up until 3 am just to finish this book. Dolly Alderton has written a modern romantic comedy full of characters you'll immediately recognize, going through relationship, friendship, and family drama that almost anyone under the age of 40 can relate to. It's laugh-out-loud funny at time, and absolutely heartbreaking at others. It's the modern woman's journey and exploration of love, solitude, self-confidence, friendship, and family that, while not necessarily timeless, is undoubtedly timely. This book is perfect for fans of Sally Rooney, Taylor Jenkins Reid, and Lily King. And if you're still not convinced to add it to your TBR, Knopf have managed to get a glowing review from none other than my girl, TJR, for the front cover. “An absolute knock-out. Wickedly funny and, at turns, both cynical and sincere … feels like your very favorite friend.” —Taylor Jenkins Reid, author of Daisy Jones & the Six Finally, can we take a moment to appreciate the STUNNING colors/cover design for the US edition? I love it. Thank you to Netgalley, Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, and Dolly Alderton for providing me an e-arc of this book to review. For more bookish photos, reviews and updates follow me on instagram @concerningnovels.