Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest

4 WORTHY-QUESTER STARS!!!! How do I begin to describe this book??? This is a one-stop service. An all action-packed story with witty lines worth chuckling and pondering over throughout the course of (200-ish) pages. A Terry Pratchett-esque absurdity. This is one of those books that doesn’t sound that promising but turned out to be one of the best read ever. Imagine Eleanor & Park but Percy Jackson and if Eleanor was in fact a 7-feet-tall Minotaur and Park was an overachiever, divinely charming Japanese-American boy. Throwing in an Amy & Roger’s Epic Detour roadtrip vibes and an impossible quest to spice things up and voila! You got Mr. Martinez's best book yet. It’s cute, it’s lighthearted and it’s sure as hell hilarious. It’s, you know, everything you could have asked for from a book, really. “Excuse me if I have body issues.” The rain soaked her, and she could smell her musky moist scent, somewhere between an odor and a stench but certainly not anywhere good within that range. “I was born with a tail.” Helen’s a Minotaur. Like a real badass chick with hooves and horns and stuff. She might seem cool on the outside, but like every teenage girl on the planet, Minotaur or not, she had her insecurities and doubts. She’s smart and strong and independent. And it’s so heartbreaking because it’s so true and real like she spoke for all of us girls in this world. You would be surprise how relatable she was. Like you couldn’t help bit really like her and hope for the best. He bounded from the room like Adonis in jeans. She was glad she hadn’t been born five thousand years before, when, instead of being friends, they would’ve probably had to fight to the death in an arena. Troy was a classic overachiever; a natural-born prom king, super smart, good at basically everything, and divinely handsome like perfect hair and spotless skin and stuff. When the Hamburger God appeared recruiting mortal questers, Troy was caught off guard and sucked into a whirlwind of unpredictable events (e.g. dueling a cyclops, fighting a band of motorcycle orcs club) that might cause the end of the world. Little by little, we’d get the privilege to know the real Troy underneath the perfect hair and cocky smile. You’d be surprise how hard one could fall for this guy. Two teenagers all by themselves on the road, of course it’s a perfect recipe for a romantic scheme. And these two guys? yeah like you’ll totally ship them. But that’s not the only thing this book could offer because, brace yourself, A FRIENDSHIP GAME IS STRONG IN THIS ONE. Throughout the story we’ll witness a series of heartfelt bromance moments (within the aforementioned motorcycle club) all the way to an unrequited feeling and slow-burned romance between two friends. Helen and Troy’s relationship was incredible, and although in the end it’s developed into a predictable direction it still left you squealed a fangirling squeals no matter what. “I wish I could tell you the right thing to say and the right way to say it. If I could slip you a love potion, I would. The only thing you can do is give her the time to figure it out on her own and be there when she’s ready. And if she’s never ready, be ready to move on. Unrequited love is bullshit. And it always ends up hurting everyone involved.” The writing was perfect, though it was a bit confusing since the narration was fast-paced but you’d find it a bit dragging at times. It was hilarious and witty, like give-your-brain-something-to-chew-on kind of witty. I like Martinez’s sarcasm on “the way of the world”, like he put an effort to make fun of social rules and expectations. He also reflected a great deal of stereotype issues through the eyes of his characters. And nothing could do the job more sufficient than an insecure beast, an overachieved Asian, an orc with a full time job in accountant, and an unreasonable deities. And those were just an examples. Just read the book, really. It’s totally worth it.