Reviews

I was surprisingly underwelmed by this memoir. I found parts relatable but overall it was repetitive and wandering. More like a diary than a published work.

A haunting and gripping memoir exploring the very stark realities of living in a bigger body whilst revealing the complicated relationship of women and their bodies in an anti-fat world.

brutal and incredible

I thought the book was great and really easy to read. The author was very vulnerable while writing it and you can tell the book is full of nothing but honesty. My only complaint is that it felt repetitive at times, but sometimes the repetitiveness seemed necessary.

I can’t imagine writing anything this brave and self-confrontational (I don’t think that’s a word). It’s about so much more than just food or weight: how trauma begets trauma, insecurity, self-flagellation, conflict and dishonesty and darkness. Gay’s frustration and blunt honesty and turmoil are gut-wrenching more often than not. I am glad to have read this, for many reasons, but in part because it makes clear the tough realities some people have to deal with in living their daily lives. I hope more people do so that we all think more often about how other people experience the world around them and how we can make it better.

one of the most painful reads i’ve finished in a long time. every truth hurts, and it is one thing to know a truth, it is another to believe it. this book reminded me that being a woman sucks

(Maybe, this is not really a review.) Is it fair to board Roxane Gay’s vehicle? To scream… "I see you. I have been there. Me too." Is it fair to air stories about my battle when Gay’s memoir is utterly raw and intimate? More thoughts in my blog here: https://newfracturedlight.wordpress.c...

this was easily one of the best books i’ve read in a long time. i love the way she writes and i can’t wait to get into more of her other works as well. thank you to my english instructor for showing me this book.

Excellent memoir which made me question myself, rethink my perspective on a lot of subjects and was overall very raw, personal and courageous. However 2 things rubbed me the wrong way: the fact that she has a negative opinion of slimmer girl who go to the gym, and the fact that she questions the medical view that morbide obesity is a problem. I don't know how to express it better so please check this review for my exact thoughts, but better: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

This is probably one of the most brutally honest books Roxane has written, as she tells us what happened to her that lead her to be the woman she is today. She talks about her rape at the age of 12. She talks about how in turn, she ate and ate until she felt safe in her body, leading her to go from a skinny little girl to the fat woman she is today (those are her words, I wouldn't call someone fat without themselves coming out and saying their preferred wording for their bodies). She reminds us that we are more than our bodies, that each one tells a story of how we got there. She was honest about her ways of combating her weight, how her family wanted her to lose weight and how she tried but felt a need to protect herself by eating again. She speaks of how she is still healing from this traumatic event even today, while facing trauma's of being fat in the United States today and how her body is shamed. She does all this with an elegance and honesty that hits you, hard. (Full Review on My Blog)

An incredible testament to the power of vulnerability, Roxane Gay guides the reader into her world to glimpse a reality most of us are far removed from. I found many aspects of her experience profoundly resonant as she put into words so much of what I have felt but never been able to understand or articulate.

This book is raw. Unapologetic. Naked. What a privilege to read her thoughts and her truth.

"They knew nothing of my determination to keep making my body into what I needed it to be - a safe harbor rather than a small, weak vessel that betrayed me." this was one of the best memoirs I've ever read. Gay is so raw and honest and real and I just fucking love her. highly recommend to anyone and everyone.

Roxane Gay and I aren’t very far apart in age, so I’m WELL aware of the body expectations she likely grew up with. Stick thin…that was the ideal. When I was young, I didn’t understand fat…I didn’t understand how fat happened. My body was always the smallest one around me. I was (still kind of am) a pretty short person, and I didn’t have an ounce of body fat until I got pregnant with my first child, but even after that I shrunk back down to a BMI of 9. While I did struggle with my own food demons, I never gained weight when I was younger. Then I hit that dreaded age where a woman’s metabolism goes into permanent hibernation, and I have since ballooned to almost twice my previously normal weight. Since I haven’t ever had weight problems, I have no friggin clue how to lose weight, plus I love cheeseburgers and tacos. It’s a problem. Roxane Gay’s body was born as a result of a trauma, mine was not. While sure, I had my fair share of childhood trauma, none of it comes close to what she went through. My body was a result of societal expectations, potentially also because of some food scarcity but it wasn’t that bad…I don’t remember ever being hungry. I just remember days where dinner was ramen noodles only…or mac and cheese and frozen peas. My mom kept us fed (and clothed…and housed…thank god for my mom). Gay’s mom had no idea what she had gone through, and then had no idea why her body continued to grow, seeming out of control. Except it was under control…but her mom didn’t know. It is so tragic that she didn’t feel like she could share he trauma with her parents. THAT was societal, Gay felt like it was her fault, and she would be in trouble for what happened to her, because that’s the message girls were given: when bad things happen to you, it’s your fault. Roxane Gay has forged a path for herself that, from where I’m sitting, required a huge bowl of courage. She said she doesn’t feel brave, but she really is. She’s brave for simply sharing this story. She’s brave for putting herself in the public eye, knowing the judgmental eyes that will be on her at all times. I love her message that your body doesn’t define who you are. This was a wonderful book that I highly recommend.

2.5 stars I'm sadly disappointed with this one. I'm a big fan of Roxane Gay and have read a lot of her work. She was one of the first essayists I read where I was like, "So nonfiction can be fun?! And funny?! And still smart and not boring!?" But this is weirdly a step down in craft from Bad Feminist, which I really enjoyed. Comparing the two books, it felt like Gay did a lot more processing and detail work in a shorter time span in the essays that explored the same personal history she recounts in a longer, more encompassing work like a memoir. There were about 2 or 3 full scenes in this memoir, and everything else felt like the most condensed, abbreviated version of her personal moments. The brief chapter outlining her personal spiral in her twenties could have been a memoir in and of itself, and it wasn't even 10 full pages! I understand not wanting to reveal every personal detail, but I was left wanting more as a reader. I also didn't really like the structure of the book overall. The first section is the personal narrative recounting Gay's traumatic experience(s) the informed her eating habits as an adult, which makes a lot of sense, but then each other section felt like more disjointed thoughts and cultural critique. I think that all should have been in the text, but I think planting that alongside the personal in the same chronological order or established more in scenes of Gay watching/experiencing these things would have made them feel less out of left field. This one just didn't really hit me like all of her other work.

5 stars | Powerful memoir. I'll definitely be getting my own copy to reread and tab.

Vulnerable, raw, and real. Roxane’s writing is second to none. She bares her sole unabashedly. She makes you think not only about others who look different than you, but she makes you think about yourself, and your own story. There is so much to be heard from her.

Beautifully written and deeply personal. A short read but an insightful journey into another woman’s mind. So intimate and courageous. My only criticism is the redundancy - it certainly feels like a collection of curated and edited journal entries that, perhaps intentionally, repeat the same phrases (“take up space”) over and over. I didn’t mind terribly because it very much read like poetry, but I definitely noticed. Lots and lots of thoughts on this subject aka a job well done for a book.

incredibly raw and emotional memoir that i couldn't put down. a necessary read for those pursuing health careers (and anyone in general who wants to open their mind to the experiences of others). as someone who has not been overweight, i found some parts to be jarringly and surprisingly painful. it was a call to privilege, a call to something i have never needed to consider (but i do). i found myself reflecting on moments where i have aided in creating a fatphobic society, why i did so, how i did so, and what that truly means for how i approach eradicating fatphobia from the deepest subconscious of my brain. this was a story that needs to be acknowledged. it offered an experience on life and bodies and fatphobia and self-love and feminism and racism that i will cherish forever.

Roxane Gay's ability to tell harrowing and difficult stories with humor and courage sets her apart. She is brilliant in every book she writes and this one is my favorite.

Wow

I’m going to think about this book for a very long time. From touch aversion to not liking pictures to discussing the body being a cage. I loved and related to so so much of this! This book is so raw and honest.

An absolutely incredible, raw look at body - the meaning of it, the embracing it, the way we care for it. It was heartbreaking and so vulnerable the way Roxane Gay describes the ways in which she insulated herself, physically and emotionally, after trauma. If you're looking for ways to challenge your own biases toward the bodies of others, this is an excellent read and absolutely the time to reflect on not only our own bodies, but the way we view and treat others.

Again, Roxane Gay is a goddess.
Highlights

74!!!!

Chapters 37, 40, 53

Sometimes, I get so angry when I think about how my sexuality has been shaped. I get angry that I can draw a direct line between the first boy I loved, the boy who made me into the girl in the woods, and the sexual experiences I have had since. I get angry because I no longer want to feel his hands on my desires. I worry that I always will.