Ashley Winstead

"Jessica Miller plans to triumphantly return to Duquette University for her ten year reunion festivities. She's the most successful out of her entire group of friends, and she's ready to flaunt her achievements...even though her "friend group," known on campus as the East House Seven, doesn't really exist anymore. Ten years ago, Heather, one of their own, was murdered, fracturing the once close knit group. And then another friend was accused of committing the vile act, shattering whatever friendly feelings remained. Jessica thinks she's coming back to campus to bask in a wave of glory. She and her friends have no idea that someone has set an elaborate trap to catch the real killer and close the cold case for good."--

A Novel

In My Dreams I Hold a Knife

Alli

“I thought she was you!" Mint screamed, pointing at me, eyes blazing. ”I thought I was hurting you!"

It wasn't fair. People deserved more than that, more than a small, brief existence, only to fade away in the end.

"Sometimes I used to watch you," she said. "When you didn't know I was there."

It would be too obvious if she was the killer right??? 👀 

Happiness? That was a luxury I'd never been able to afford. Besides, Coop didn't know that I didn't deserve to be happy, even if Id wanted it.

I wanted them to see perfection. I ached for it in the deep, dark core of me: to be so good I left other people in the dust. 

Jessica Marie Miller. You have to know by now I love you. I made a sound of surprise. He smiled. "I feel like I've worn it on my sleeve since the day I met you." "The fortune" I said, three years too late. "Of course.”

Memories are powerful things. But-and this is important, my therapist said-so are the dark spaces. The things you choose, consciously or not, to repress. Always, they're the things you need protection from. The too much: too terrifying, too shameful, too devastating. The things that, if allowed, would threaten the very core of who you're supposed to be.

It was so easy to tell what you were feeling. It was right there on vour face for everyone to see. Longing when you passed other students, happiness when you saw Blackwell Tower, worry when you got close to Perkins Hall, where your class was. I remember thinking how innocent that was, or brave, how much I wanted to know vou."

I wanted to ask you out, freshman year" he said in a rush. "You taped the fortune on your door, and I thought there was hope. But then You Bid Day, when I walked into my room and you and Mint were on the bed... Mint was my roonmmate. And you obviously liked him. So I told myself to forget you. But I never could"

 "You could have" I said quietly. "You could've been with anyone. They all wonder why you don't date."

 He shook his head. "Tell them I've been out of my mind for you since we were eighteen. There's no one else for me. I thought I could handle being with you in secret, because at least Id get part of you. I told you when we started that I wanted more- I could still hear those words: I'm telling you upfront. I need more. I need you over and over. Even remembering them brought heat to my face. "But more's not enough. 

What do you want, then?" My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it rattling my rib cage. He looked at me, green eyes serious. "I want everything.” 

Instead of looking at me-my desperation-with disgust, Coop's face softened. It was a look I knew well. I used to think of it as one of his private faces, an expression he reserved just for me, a secret code for a secret feeling. Id learned, too late, that it had always been bigger than that.

I shivered, and he captured my mouth. His was warm and tasted faintly herbal. I’m not an Eagle Scout. Il do things you hate." Coop. The boy who always said things that were too close to the truth, the one who made me uncomfortable, who looked at me too long too closely. "Why are you telling me this?" "Im giving you an out.  "Ive wanted you since the first day I saw you, walking to class in your pleated skirt. I've spent three years thinking about this. Three years, not allowed to touch you, or breathe a word.”

“Jess." When I turned, I found Coop leaning so close our knees almost touched. I inched back. My heartbeat notched higher. And Irealie lized: It was just the two of us. In a private room. "I understand everything about you. I know you're obsesser making Kappa the top sorority because the Chi Os rejected you. I now you're obsessed with Mint and the Phi Delts because everyone else is. and it's a status symbol. I know you sneak Adderall to study all night even though econ makes you want to kill yourself. And now I know you charge thousands of dollars to a credit card you can't afford just to fit in with Ijumped to my feet. "Stop it, Coop. Shut up." He got to his feet, too, taking a step toward me. When l pulled back, he grinned, a glint in his eyes. I understand," he said slowly, drawing the words out, that youd do anything to win. Yoưre kind of a sociopath"

He dropped his keys on his desk and walked to the door. "Stay right there. I'm going to get us root beer and Red Vines so we can get some sugar in your system, Those are your favorites, right? You're always eating Red Vines when you study." 

The next day, rolling awake in bed, trash-bag dress sticking to my legs, I finally opened Coops fortune. Seven strange words: Today, some- thing starts that will never end. 

I shook my head, the movement slight. He smiled a small, knowing smile and held the joint out to Heather, who took it immediately. His eyes found ne again. Brandon Cooper. East House, floor three" Jessica Miller. I pressed sweaty hands against my dress. "On four:" "I know. He reached into his pocket, digging for something. When he pulled his hand out, he held a small piece of paper. "I got this for you.

I took a deep breath and yelled, "Come on, Coop" He turned and raised his brows. I raised mine. A challenge. Suddenly he was slapping one of the guys hands, passing something between them, and walking in the door, cuting across the dance floor, Caro and Frankie whooped; Jack grinned with the whiskey bottle outstretched. And inside me was a feeling I barely recognized, one I didnt have words for. The closest might have been Look what I an do or Oh, what have I done. But Coop didn't come to me. He walked straight to Caro

Lindsay

Madeline Frank

Definitely a really enjoyable read! I love how fast pace the story was, and the changing time periods/characters I really enjoyed, as it kept me very engaged with the story! I really did enjoy how the book ended - it makes SO much sense but you never see it coming! That being said, the characters did not truly experience much growth, and Jessica the main character is not the best BUT her personality fits the story SO well!

brie

this was going great and reminded me of “the it girl” by ruth ware until it wasn’t. the ending was a mess and didn’t really do much to save the downhill path this book took.

The characters were all kind of awful in cliché ways, but I devoured this and I didn’t guess the ending!

Amelia Hruby

buny

** spoiler alert **
           Bonkers.... 

"Sometimes, you didn’t have to lift a finger. Sometimes, you could do nothing and get exactly what you wanted." 

........ 😃

Really tense atmosphere ✅️
Complicated main character ✅️ 
Dark academia ✅️ (yes, I do think this book was dark academia even if loosely given the present timeline but from how I see it, the very core of Jessica's character, her motivations and aspirations and obsession w achieving the "I am the best" title came from academia and her father's fixation w it.) 
Murder mystery ✅️ 

Was made for me if you will but the  who  and  why  of Heather's murder felt flat to me. And the ending piled onto that confusion so I'm not too sure it I liked it or not. I found it very clever of the author to make every one of East House Seven play small but significant part in Heather's murder though bc the moment I read all that, I was like wow. Now I'm kinda curious to read TBC 🤔

Megan Christensen

I do not believe this was author's intention but this less (narratively) successful Pretty Little Liars. It read quite juvenile - the scene of everyone meeting at the same time was particularly egregious.

The book could have worked well if it had managed to make us care about any of side-character members of the friend group (randomly writing a single chapter from their POV very much did not achieve that) or had made Jessica and Heather both feel like fleshed out characters that we root for.

Is Jessica technically an underdog? Could have her situation made a comment on elitism within academia? Yes and yes. Did the novel do anything to demonstrate this or make us care in any meaningful way? No. Likewise, did we get any real sense of what made Heather so enthralling and loveable to everyone else? Not really (it really sounded like she got things handed over to her). Truly think of Alison DiLaurentis and how entirely plausible it would be for her to make those girls both worship her and hate her guts.

What is even less in the favour of the novel is that another apt comparison would be Cruel Summer (the TV show, not the Taylor Swift song). The TV show manages to present a similar dynamic much more compellingly without oversimplifying either of the main characters, Jeanette and Kate, and makes for a much more interesting piece of fiction.

It is unfortunate that "In My Dreams I Hold a Knife" falls short of its potential. Even with other similar properties covering some of the same concepts, it could have still been well done.

I do not believe this was author's intention but this less (narratively) successful Pretty Little Liars. It read quite juvenile - the scene of everyone meeting at the same time was particularly egregious.

The book could have worked well if it had managed to make us care about any of side-character members of the friend group (randomly writing a single chapter from their POV very much did not achieve that) or had made Jessica and Heather both feel like fleshed out characters that we root for.

Is Jessica technically an underdog? Could have her situation made a comment on elitism within academia? Yes and yes. Did the novel do anything to demonstrate this or make us care in any meaningful way? No. Likewise, did we get any real sense of what made Heather so enthralling and loveable to everyone else? Not really (it really sounded like she got things handed over to her). Truly think of Alison DiLaurentis and how entirely plausible it would be for her to make those girls both worship her and hate her guts.

What is even less in the favour of the novel is that another apt comparison would be Cruel Summer (the TV show, not the Taylor Swift song). The TV show manages to present a similar dynamic much more compellingly without oversimplifying either of the main characters, Jeanette and Kate, and makes for a much more interesting piece of fiction.

It is unfortunate that "In My Dreams I Hold a Knife" falls short of its potential. Even with other similar properties covering some of the same concepts, it could have still been well done.

Ellys MC

chloe rae

4.5

Incredibly addicting, I honestly could not put this book down. SO MUCH FUN. Had me guessing until the end!

Syahla Aurel

Sometimes, you didn't have to lift a finger. Sometimes, you could do nothing and get exactly what you wanted.

I'm not really blown away by the plot twist, but the story's delivery was great and detailed. For a mystery-thriller book this is a pretty good one. If you like something that is similar to The Secret History or IWWV, then maybe you would like this one.

Claudia Sinclair.

Firstly, I love the way how the MC ( Jessica ) describes everything in very detail; like the way she describes her feelings and emotions, and her mind— it feels incredible. And somehow it intrigued me to read this book and dive into it. Secondly, this book is so page-turner! I love to read thrillers and mysteries lately and this book is the type of phenomenal thriller book you can take pleasure in, especially a book with dual timelines. There are so many characters in this book but the author manages to introduce them all with the right portion and sufficiently. Although I can let out how I enjoyed this book, in my thought, there is still a killer who escapes at the end of the story and that makes me eager, duh!

This book felt like gossip girl and Abercrombie & Fitch in the 2000s. Lots of twists and turns! Only thing is that the audiobook DEF should’ve had different voice actors bc there’s like 8 characters and it gets confusing lol. 

Kyra Cracchiola

I hated everyone but Coop (he's on verrrryyyyyy thin ice tho).

Holly

Denaiir

I'm SO disappointed that I didn't like that one more. I probably had too high expectations since several people recommended it and gave it 5 stars. I guess I don't like the "dark academia" setting that much: bad people, stupid pranks, annoying rivalries, rich pricks. It reminded my a lot about "The IT Girl": too long, about a hundred pages should have been cut out and the plot was not that gripping. At the end of the main plot it picked up a little and I forgot how I hated the main character, but then the epilogue part went on and on and on and it lost a star.

The premise of this book is really interesting and, while not original, is done really well. I was able to guess the killer however his motivation was unknown until the reveal and definitely was unexpected. At times the writing felt a little juvenile but overall a good solid mystery book

Soph

Throw a bunch of pretentious rich kids and jealous perfectionists together, add some cheating, lying, a murder and let chaos ensue. I could not put this book down - there was so much DRAMA and everyone is the worst - I ate it up. A great dark academia thriller for the fall if you're looking for a quick & entertaining read. 

Reem

It was entertaining enough and full of drama. Would recommend just for the drama lol 

Amira BEN

3.5 ⭐️ 

It was entertaining enough and full of drama. Would recommend just for the drama lol 

Katherine Bates 

3.5 
The main character is 32 in present day and 22 in past day, and read as if she’s 16. Overall a good thriller and a quick read.

Michaella 

one of the only mystery thrillers that I didn’t guess the plot of 1/4 into the book 

Kaitlyn Dodos

The mystery, the murder, the characters just so good! 

This is a great book in what happens when you leave your daddy issues unchecked! 

The mystery, the murder, the characters just so good! 

This is a great book in what happens when you leave your daddy issues unchecked! 

I freaking love a murder mystery and then add in a duel timeline??? Right up my alley

Brianna Foley

I really enjoyed this book. Read it super fast as well. I enjoyed the random different perspective of what happened that night. I liked that the main character wasn’t suppose to be the ideal hero. I enjoyed how the story ended. I did want more current timelines than the present, but that’s just me nitpicking. I would definitely recommend this book!  I love a good whodunit? Book.

Bookworm

Gem Koeman

** spoiler alert **
            CAWPILE Review: 8.14 

I feel like all the people in this book needed some serious therapy and it would have saved them a lot of trouble.



 Characters (9) 

Took me a little while to wrap my head around who was who, the cast was around seven people with other names jumping in and out. After some time listening I worked out who was who and what they were all about. 

I loved that the characters in the book were almost all unlikeable to some extent, the female MC being almost hateable from the start. Over time you realise why they acted in certain ways and it sort of unravelled what their end game was going to be in the whodunnit.

Atmosphere (8) 

Dark academia vibes. I don't really know much about US universities but I pictured this one just like a larger version of the high school from Gossip Girl. 

I like how the author pulled in the fraternaties/sororities plus the seasonal events calenders - this made the world seem much more real. I also gave extra points for the Eurovision party and the Buffy mention (Hush/The Body are also my favourite episodes).

 Writing (8) 

Not much to be said here, it was easy to follow and there wasn't anything that pulled me out of the flow.

 Plot (7) 

Little lower rating here but that's mainly because the whole thing is a thriller and it became a little easy to unwrap who was going to be the killer. I feel like some of the side characters in the seven didn't get ample time in the plot so I didn't really feel for them in any way, Courtney/Caro in particular.

I also wanted there to be a little more oomph from Eric, after that first bit where he told them all that he knew there were secrets I felt like he blended into the background a bit. 

 Intrigue (8) 

I was interested to see how all of the characters actions were influenced by their backgrounds. Almost all of them had severe issues and like I said at the top, they all just needed a bit of therapy. 

 Logic (8) 

All seemed fine on this front to me, all the characters had huge egos plus lack of communication and refletive skills. The whole setup was a car crash waiting to happen.

 Enjoyment (9) 

I read the book over ten days which is quite a long period for me but with Christmas/New Year that's to be expected. When I was listening to the book I was totally invested and loved every second. It was really close to a five star for me and I would totally recommend it to anyone that likes thriller books and gossip girl vibes



xoxo

In My Dreams I Hold a Knife A Novel

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