James Patterson

It's Christmas Eve and Detective Alex Cross is called away from his family to resolve a horrific hostage situation that is spiraling out of control.

Merry Christmas, Alex Cross

priya

CW: (view spoiler)[Islamophobia, physical torture, threats of child torture, mutilation by humans and dogs, murder of prostitute, derogatory remarks about prostitutes and drug users (hide spoiler)] 

Considering this is a James Patterson novel, I knew it would be bad in terms of plot believability, characterisation and, I guess, writing sophistication. But I didn’t expect the writing to be this this laughably bad.

“As for hostage negotiators, we’ll, we are usually smart and well trained, but we rarely pull off the heroics you see in the movies. Have I seen the abductor listen to the negotiator and then throw down his weapon and come out with his hands up? Sure, about as often as I’ve seen the Redskins win the Super Bowl. Two or three times. It’s in the realm of possibility. But the odds are stacked against it.”

It’s so overdone and self-consciously colloquial that the writing ends up distracting the reader from the plot.

Clearly, there were no sensitivity readers for racism because this,,,

””Ambassador from Nigeria. No idea how to pronounce the name.”
“Nice place the ambassador from Nigeria’s got.
“Yeah, half his country is starving to death, and this dude’s living in six bedrooms in Georgetown. Guess he’s gone for the holidays too.”
“Probably to Lagos. I’ve been there. A real hellhole. Then again, from the look of things, maybe I’d rather be in Lagos tonight myself.””
This book genuinely has so little substance that Alex Cross heroically saves a family on a Christmas Eve and then saves the entire city of Washington D.C. the next day in a completely separate plotline, with different characters as well.

And the worst part is that the villains in the second plot are part of a Muslim terrorist organisation…

“Americans are weak. They know nothing of sacrifice, or of God.
She flipped open a throwaway cell phone and hit Redial.
“Yes?” a male voice answered in Arabic.
“Why?” Hala asked.
“One, four, and zero,” he replied.
She glanced at the big clock inside the station. It was 5:25. She calculated and then said, “Seven and five.
“Inshallah,” the man replied and hung up.”

I know, such a unique and thoughtful idea to have a bunch of pure, heroic Christians thwart some evil Muslims on Christmas/Boxing Day (/s).

Overall, Merry Christmas is incredibly unbelievable, racist and cringeworthy.

Here’s another quote that’s hilariously over explained that I had to read it out to my sister.

“Both Sampson and I are tall. I’m six two. He’s got three inches on me. Which means we have long legs, which we used to run in opposite directions.”

Sonia Grgas

Keernan Lanismore

On Christmas Eve, Alex Cross must risk everything to solve a mystery and stop a hostage situation from spiraling out of control. It's Christmas Eve and Detective Alex Cross has been called out to catch someone who's robbing his church's poor box. That mission behind him, Alex returns home to celebrate with Bree, Nana, and his children. The tree decorating is barely underway before his phone rings again: a horrific hostage situation is quickly spiraling out of control. Away from his own family on the most precious of days, Alex calls upon every ounce of his training, creativity, and daring to save another family. Alex risks everything-and he may not make it back alive on this most sacred of family days. Alex Cross is a hero for our time, and never more so than in this story of family, action, and the deepest moral choices. Merry Christmas, Alex Cross is a holiday classic for thriller fans everywhere.

Daniel Waterhouse

On the night before Christmas, Detective Alex Cross is at home celebrating with his family. But when Alex's phone rings, he knows that this won't be a merry Christmas. A father has taken his children and ex-wife hostage. Armed to the teeth and high on crystal meth, Henry Fowler is dangerously unstable. The lives of everyone in that house are hanging by a thread. As this suburban nightmare is unfolding, another far greater threat is approaching. It will be a terrorist attack like Washington DC has never seen, and when nobody expects it.

Merry Christmas, Alex Cross

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