Bonkers My Life in Laughs

Dear listener . . . I have been told that publishers these days like a particular type of memoir. They like a little bit of misery. They like a 'mis mem'. Well, I'm afraid I have had very little 'mis' in my life, and nowadays I have even less 'mem'. So we can knock that one on the head. In fact my brain is a bit soupy overall re the past. Was I really called 'Podge' as a child? Answer- yes. Was I really surly, apathetic and introverted at school? Apparently not. My mother has kept all my school reports. I imagined these would be a rich source of hilarity and irony, but they turn out to be decidedly average. She has also stashed a good selection of my diaries- the Pony Club diary, the Honey diary, a diary with a small elf on the cover that was a present from my friend Karen. All these diaries are written in remarkable detail for the first couple of weeks of January. Then nothing. So a lot of the incidents that I will write about in this book may all have occurred in January. I have scant info re summers and autumns . . . So, dear listener, I will tell you all I remember, and embellish all that I don't. For my publishers' sake I shall name-drop regularly and mention royalty as much as possible. Press on.