And I darken

I loved this. Truly. I didn't expect to love this as much as I do. The writing is just so clever, and the characters are raw. Radu's character reminded me for some reason of Ali from the Daevabad trilogy. Also, Lada being so unappolagetically ruthless is what I needed in a female main character. It's been a while since I've encountered a woman so well-written to the point where I couldn't believe she was just ink and paper. Lada is me. Lada is all the girls wanting more than what life has given them. I can't believe I took this long to read this book. An underrated read for sure. 5 stars ⭐️

"What must be sacrificed to secure a future where no one can touch you" How do I even begin? What can I even say? Let me start off by saying I HATED this book for the first 10-20 chapters. I actually didn't even think I would or could finish it... but then came page 231... I stopped reading after that, and found myself thinking about this dang book all the next day! I had to know, had to figure how the heck this book would go. And you wanna know what happened? Ooooh the sneaky book got me right where it wanted me! I finished, and I have already ordered the next. As hard as this book was to get into it was very worth it, it's not the typical YA book, and because of that it took stepping into a different mind set. I didn't like the love interest, in fact I actually hated him, and I was more in love with the side characters than the leading three. I was more fascinated with Radus drive for a new faith, for his strength and growth than I was by almost anything else. This book was different, you had to stop your mind from saying "but that's wrong! Such and such lied! How can she allow this?!" And remember just because it's not how typical books work doesn't mean it's not great. One of the biggest parts of my love for this book was the fact that for once we got a leading lady with fire, with convictions. Did she stray a bit here and there? Yes, but honestly who doesn’t stray a bit? The fact was when it would have been so easy for her to settle and give in she refused. She stood up for the dream she wanted, the path she craved, and the vengeance she refused to be denied. She didn’t let her love of a man or her want for fatherly affection turn her away from the woman she knew she truly was. Even at great cost. The brickwork for the next book was set in a wonderfully sly way, the plot only hinted at not totally clear. The "twist" was shocking in a horribly beautiful way. As much as I fought to finish this book I would suggest it, I would recommend it, and I would read it again.

liked the character dynamics but i felt a bit alienated in the story, and there were some parts that i thought were plot holes that i would have liked to have been developed more.

Book #36 Read in 2016 And I Darken by Kiersten White This book focuses on Vlad the Impaler's daughter Lada and son Radu. The children are used as chess pieces by their father in his relations with other countries. Lada is a kick ass, intelligent girl who would rather train to fight than worry about who to marry. Radu is a shy boy who can be underestimated by his friends and his sister. This book has lush writing and is a great historical fiction read. A big book, I would recommend this book more for adults (due to its writing style) than high school readers. That being said, the author is an author that has a YA reader following. I received a copy of this book from Amazon Vine in exchange for a honest review.

I really don't know why it took me so long to pick this up but I am very glad I did - I really love the history mixed with fiction - taking people you may already know about and giving them depth and lives otherwise glossed over - this book brings the past to life.

I was promised a book about a female Vlad the Impaler, I got a book about a teenage girl who doesn't know what she wants, keeps brooding in her corner, and with no action whatsoever. The love triangle represented 80% of the story, then we got boring politics for 15% and 5% action. The audiobook naration was good, it was great to have the righ pronunciation of names and locations., it made me feel more immersed in the story. I also have the feeling that the representation of Wallachia and the Ottoman empire was not good and that the author didn't do much research (the first thing that struck me was that Ladislav is said to be the female name for Vlad, but it's a male name!! I'm not Romanian, I'm Swiss, but even I know that much). The second thing is that at the time, a Romanian leader could never have simply converted to Islam the way Radu did. For more information on historical inaccuracy I looked for some reviews by native people and found this one, if you're interested: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1852491385?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1 I would definitely not recommend this book which was boring, clichéd and inaccurate, the characters were two-dimensional and I did not feel invested in the story at any point.

i can understand how people may find this book uninteresting or slow as it's more character-driven than plot-driven i suppose, but bloody hell if i don't love it

somehow i love that this doesn't have magic. yes to the historical ya rise.

In the summer of 2016, a book called And I Darken was released. A retelling of the story of Vlad the Impaler, but with a girl instead. I had seen many good ratings and reviews about this book, heard the whole book community rave about it the whole year. I had gotten really curious, and I was happy to receive an ARC from a friend in December. And I Darken tells the story of Ladislav 'Lada' Dracul, a female version of Vlad the Impaler, and her brother Radu. We follow them from the moment they are born all the way through their stay in the Ottoman empire. I am going to be 100% honest and say I did not love this book. I had expected to love it as much as everyone on Goodreads, but honestly the first couple chapters just didn't manage to convince me at all. In fact, at around page 100 I started to wonder whether it was worth it to continue reading. I did, of course, but it didn't pick up that much at all. According to Goodreads, this book was a fantasy, but to me it felt more like historical fiction. In my dictionary, fantasy means magic, dragons, an unknown world (okay not necessarily but often enough). This book definitely had none of those elements. Sure, that does not make it a bad book, but I personally don't love historical fiction much (unless it's WWII). There was so much talk about politics and religion throughout this book that I found myself skipping passages every now and then. There was just not enough action going on in my opinion. (view spoiler)[Sure, there were three assassination attempts and some other small things going on, but other than that it was rather bland. (hide spoiler)] Character-wise, I thought the book was strong. Both Lada and Radu were good characters, and they both grew to be even greater people later on in the book. I wasn't too much of a fan of seeing them as kids, but when they were in their teens I enjoyed reading about them a bit more. I wasn't sold on the romance, though, I actually didn't enjoy it that much at all. (view spoiler)[The love-triangle was interesting, though, and I knew that Radu was gay for Mehmed long before he probably knew it himself. So I guess that wasn't really an exciting 'plot-twist' for me. (hide spoiler)] At some points I found myself annoyed by the writing, and the weird time-jumps. They would be listening in on a conversation in one chapter, and then the next they would be woken up in the middle of the night, apparently a couple of days after that eavesdropping. I don't know, but that just felt annoying at some points, and I really wished that it had been more of a flowing story rather than... well... this. Partly because we follow Lada from the moment she's born until she's sixteen, I think I would have enjoyed the story a bit more had she'd been that age from the beginning (then again, we may have missed some crucial information, so there isn't really a win/win here). Still, it was an interesting story, though I am not 100% certain I will pick up the second book. I am curious what will happen to Lada next, but I don't think I will be picking up Now I Rise any time soon after it's release. My opinion in one gif:

I really struggled to rate this one. There were major pros that I really liked and major cons that nearly destroyed the book for me. Since Goodreads doesn't like half ratings, I rounded it up to 3 stars when, I think, in all reality, this book is a 2.5. I'll talk about the pros first. I really loved that this was a Vlad the Impaler retelling. You seriously don't see much of those. I mean, I don't think I have ever seen a Vlad the Impaler retelling. (Someone let me know if there is one because I would love to read it). Another pro that I really liked was the representation of homosexual relationships. Granted the relationships were hidden but I liked the fact that they were even mentioned. The biggest negative for me was Lada. I didn't realize until the end that this was a retelling of Vlad the Impaler. Maybe had I known that when the book started, I wouldn't have disliked Lada so much. She was just....so frustrating. She was crazy super violent and incredibly harsh. I understand that back in the Ottoman Empire, women were basically objects to own and that Lada didn't want to be that. But man, the minute someone said one negative thing to her, she injures them with either her words or fists. The entire book was so up and down for me. There were parts that I really liked. And then there were parts that I just couldn't stand. The parts I couldn't stand had a lot to do with Lada. She basically ruined entire scenes for me. Had it not been for Radu, I probably wouldn't have finished this book. Sweet anxious Radu. All he wanted was love from his father, Lada and Mehmed. He just wanted to a place to call home. He really was the saving grace for this book. I loved his journey to finding Islam (another awesome pro: religious representation!). I loved watching him grow and find himself. The way he finally stood up to Lada was awesome. She needed someone to tell her that she was being awful. I realize that this review is kind of all over the place. I just couldn't decide if I liked it or not. I will probably continue on with the series because the second book sounds amazing. I just hope Lada doesn't ruin it for me.

3.5/5 I finished! Personally I thought I would never finish this book. This was a dark read. I didn't think it would be that dark but it was. It was a good dark though. Full Review (Once I finish all my other reviews XD) xoxo, Bebe

"I am no longer the daughter of the dragon I am the dragon" I can't believe this took me so long to read! (iPad troubles am I right?!) When I had time to read it I found myself reading massive portions at once because IT WAS SO GOOD! I'm so invested in this world and the characters and I am so excited to read the next book.  Lada is my actual Queen she is such a strong and amazing character and I loved her development through the book and how she grew to find her place despite never giving up on her dream to go home. I just love her so much ughhhh Also, can we talk about Radu!! OMG my baby I love him so much but at the same time I feel so bad for him, ugh he's just too pure for this world!  I literally have nothing bad to say about this book, catch me reading Now I Rise soon!! (update...it's now months later and I still haven't got to book 2!)

YES LADA MY QUEEN YES RADU MY SON NO MEHMED NFHFUFIDJDDJFHFHFH Buddy read with Sarah!!!

“On our wedding night, I will cut out your tongue and swallow it. Then both tongues that spoke our marriage vows will belong to me, and I will be wed only to myself. You will most likely choke to death on your own blood, which will be unfortunate, but I will be both husband and wife and therefore not a widow to be pitied.” well I finally read it and now I feel like a cool kid who knows whats up ! also elise should be pleased ! and I actually quite enjoyed this. Fact: historical fictions are the best because they're informative AND fun. But honestly, this read a lot like a fantasy? Something about the way the story was told came off fantasy-ish BUT I LIKED IT. It made it so enjoyable and fun to read. Kiersten White created such an interesting set up in this book - and that is kind of a problem. It was all a set up. At points this book did feel like one giant prologue. Don't get me wrong ! It's interesting. There's lots of political intrigue, backstabbing (literally) and plotting to kill the sultan, which is fun. But at times it definitely dragged. This is a 500 page book I really think it COULD have been shorter. Especially some of the beginning. But regardless of that, what this book had that kept me reading was EXCELLENT CHARACTERS. The characters in this book are so interesting. Lada is brutal and deadly and so dislikable .. and yet I don't hate her? Which is why she's so interesting. White acknowledges in the back of the book she tried to find a a balance between accounts that glorify, and accounts that completely vilify these historical figures. You can definitely see that thought process come through here. All the characters work in shades of grey but I think Lada does it in the most obvious, brutal way. And I think maybe she tips more on the dark side. She's misogynistic at times, and Islamophobic, and it makes me really not like her. But also I can't hate her. Can't explain it, but you'll get it when you read it. She's definitely interesting, and if you like a passionate, driven protagonist you'd like her. “If Lada was the spiky green weed that sprouted in the midst of a drought-cracked riverbed, Radu was the delicate, sweet rose that wilted in anything less that the perfect conditions.” Radu was my favourite character. I love him. I really enjoyed the duality between he and Lada and how they played against eachother. Radu is portrayed as soft and sweet, but I really liked his character arc and how his charm and sweetness played in his advantage. He is a worthy counterpart to Lada, despite their differing talents. But I found his representation as a gay man a bit .... annoying. A 500 book full of gay pain and pining was kind of .. eck. And here I must give massive props for the complex sibling relationships we see on page. Radu and Lada are almost complete opposites and that tension between their ideals was interesting to see play out. Their views of their home country, their religion, their upbringing and their role in court life now are almost always in tension and the way that these conflicts are explored between the two was very interesting. Mehmed was probably the character I had the least grasp on. I had trouble connecting to him in the same was as Radu and Lada, probably because he has no pov chapters. Honestly, I didn't feel particularly strongly about him, but I also do see potential growth for his character WHICH IS GOOD. But in this he really did annoy me like, a lot. can I just say though: there are too many characters in this book. Because those three I remember, but everyone else was kinda a blur. I think there needed to be less supporting characters because I got them a bit confused and kept forgetting who was who. Which was NOT helpful in the final scenes of the books when actually knowing the characters name came in handy. And so she cut her heart out and offered it as a sacrifice. She would pay whatever price her mother Wallachia demanded. SOME FINAL POINTS • I'm definitely excited to continue this series because I can see it has Potential • I know there are criticisms of the representation .. and I can't find the review. But I think it's worth mentioning some criticisms have come out. And I definitely understand why that is. It's hard to write books like these about such hated and murderous figures, you're really toe-ing a line between representing and romanticising and I can see why some people may think it was overstepped. • I thought the Harem politics were so interesting I hope there is more of that • tw for: attempted rape, murder, graphic violence, homophobia IN CONCLUSION I really enjoyed this ! The characters were complex and interesting and the book was a good set up for the series overall. I think the writing was well done and the book while slow at times did maintain my attention, which is important.

This book felt extremely choppy and had no natural flow. I liked the characters but the story itself dragged and felt pointless. It did not leave me wanting to read the rest of the series

second read: june 14, 2019 3.5 stars i really liked it but im not crazy abt it first read: october 2, 2016 And I Darken is a story based on Vlad the Impaler. The difference being Vlad the Impaler is a girl. Our antiheroine is Lada, and this isn't really a story about Lada impaling people. It's like an origin story, how she becomes the Impaler. I didn't think I'd enjoy it as much as I did. I've never read a historical fiction before (at least, I don't remember reading one), so reading something like And I Darken was very refreshing and different. I'd have to say that this was absolutely vicious. But I mean it in the best possible way. It has a dark vibe with characters whom you want to trust but cannot do so. A gripping tale about a brother and a sister, Radu and Lada, who have lived a life full of pain and struggles. I love how the story starts off from the very beginning of their life. We get to see Lada and Radu grow up. I think that was a very wise way of beginning the story because it makes us understand their choices, their actions, their intentions better. I love how each of the characters were far from lovable, even the protagonist, Lada. Except for Radu though, he's an exception. Lada, despite being fierce and brutal, was one of my favorite characters. She despised being told to sit down and do what a woman does (back then they were unequally treated. They were only expected to marry and give their husband an heir). But Lada was so strong. She despised staying in the castle while soldiers were fighting. She despised being belittled by men. She is not a character we can easily love. Her decisions are also sometimes maddening but, in my opinion, it's what makes up her character. I know that behind all that solid armor shielding her heart, she has compassion especially for her brother, Radu. Radu is the complete opposite of his sister. While he might seem utterly useless in the beginning, he grows to become someone we'd never thought of him to be. I love Radu so much. He is that precious little puppy you see on the road that you just want to take care of. Radu has won the title of my favorite character in this book. Mehmed was someone I really wanted to trust, but I couldn't find myself to completely trust. I love how he isn't this cliche prince (or in this case, sultan) in shining armor who'll swoon us all. He has his own intentions. What those are, I have no idea. Still, I really like Mehmed's character. The side-characters were absolutely great as well. Each one carries such a mystery within them that leaves me intrigued and again, dubious (just like how I am with Mehmed). AND I learned a ton of things about the Ottoman Empire (which I had no idea about going into this book)! That was a huge bonus that we get from the book! Overall, I REALLY enjoyed this book and cannot wait to read what goes down in the second installment!

** spoiler alert ** what. a. book. i went through many different emotions during this.. in the beginning, i was lost and confused. in the middle i was slightly less lost and still pretty confused. nearing the climax / second half of the book though, i really started to connect with the characters and understand the story. it was hard to get jnto but boy was it worth it! so radu is definitely my favorite character ::) i love him & i really hope to see more of him & his relationships in now i rise also the ending really has me anticipating lada and her next move ... i will say, it was hard to read with all the Gay Suffering going in with radu, and i really hope the next book isn’t another 500 pages of radu being unhappy and miserable...

This is more of a 3.5 star read for me. I'm gonna be honest, I couldn't wait to be done with this book because I had a really hard time connecting with the characters. This is a theme with me when characters make really dumb decisions. I just lose the capacity to care about them when they consistently do dumb things. Neither of the characters was bad. They were decent characters. I just didn't fall in love with them as I hope for with every book. The main two characters are Lada and Radu Dragulesti, hostages of the Ottoman empire to keep their father, ruler of Wallachia in line. Lada is a warrior princess in every sense. She has a lot that I respected about her: she's decisive, unbending, and absolutely brutal. She's like a dragon in human form. And while I respect her crazy intensity, I also find myself very frustrated with her at times. She's cruel and unkind, often for no reason than it suited her. She allows her brother to be beaten and abused, sometimes at her own hand as a child, because she decided it was what was best. She hurts people around her so easily that it should make anyone wary of her. She lacks an empathy I'm used to in characters I enjoy and it made me want to distance myself from her brutal nature. It seems like all that empathy gets funneled into Radu. Radu is kind, compassionate, and values life and beauty. But because of all that empathy, he doesn't always think critically. And when I say doesn't think critically, he just makes really stupid decisions because it's where his heart leads him. He's overly trusting of most people, except those who he actually cares for. He needs a healthy dose of skepticism if you ask me. I did appreciate the LGBT+ inclusion in the book. They make several mentions of it, including main and side characters who were among the members of an unspoken of queer society. As it remains mostly hidden, their treatment in society at that time (which surely would not have been positive) was never really mentioned and all the people in the LGBT+ spectrum were treated respectfully regarding their sexualities. It was kind of nice to not have to have characters face that prejudice openly, though it hovered just outside the fringes of the story. I worry it will come back with a vengeance in later books. My knowledge of the history of the period is roughly nothing. I know very little about the Ottoman empire and probably about as much as Wallachian history, so I cannot even begin to try to explain how this differed from actual world history. I'm sure it's fictionalized, but how much I couldn't tell you without doing further research. All in all, I don't think this would be a book I would recommend to others. It's a decent read, but not one I found particularly enjoyable.

Historical fiction at it's finest. Kirsten White created this vibrant world out of a glorious, dark, and wondrous time in history, the Ottoman Empire. I remember reading about the Ottoman Empire in school ad this book just brought it to life for me. Of course, it is not exactly how history went but you can definitely tell White did her research. Now I want to talk about Lada. Wow. She is incredible. She is fierce and brutal like no other character I have seen. She takes no prisoners and is not the princess you would imagine. But I like that about her. I like that she isn't pretty. I like that she says what is on her mind is fearless from the moment she is born. AND she does not submit to man, which is something I really admire. She allows herself to be unapologetically herself no matter the circumstance. I know it is a heavy topic now in days that people say women can have everything: love, family, and career... but you know sometimes it isn't possible. Sometimes you don't want to compromise, and I don't think you should have to. I think many girls and women are going to look up to Lada, myself included and think...No. I don't want to take the traditional path. And although that may be what you want to do but not me. I don't want to compromise and I'm okay with that. Of course their are other characters, Radu, her brother for example. He is the other main character in the book and it is also told from his point of view. He is a beautiful and gentle soul, and his character developed heavily throughout the book. I really want to know how his friendship with Mehmed will continue in the next book. As for Mehmed, I do not know how to feel about him just yet. Sometimes I feel that his character is sincere, other times I'm not so sure. I like him, but I feel like something bad might happen in the next book. Call me bias, but Lada is my favorite character and after that empowering ending, I cannot wait for the next book to come out. I already know how it happens in history, let us see where Kiersten White takes us.

This is my second time reading the And I Darken trilogy and it’s actually unhealthy how emotionally invested I am in this story and these characters. I FEEL SO MANY THINGS. These books are a GIFT to someone like me who loves more complex historical fiction that is relevant to the experiences of modern women and minorities. I see myself in so many of the characters and their struggles (especially Lada). Overall, 5/5

3.75. I don’t think it needs to be almost 500 pages lol. Even so, it went by super quickly, especially because Lada and Radu are such interesting characters! I LOVE books that have a central sibling dynamic and theirs is wonderful. I didn’t care much for Mehmed, on the other hand. Still, the complex politics and messy relationships had me hooked. Shoutout to my obligatory favorite side character Nicolae.

This is exactly the kind of alternate historical fiction I'm looking for. There's only one change: Vlad the Impaler is a woman. I know very little about the Ottomans in this period and less about Vlad the Impaler, so this makes me want to look up more about them. Kiersten White really seems to have done her research, and the 1450s seems very real; it's a dangerous, brutal world. Empires are on the brink of collapse, and the way history goes, the characters in the book are going to be on the winning side. While the characters didn't stand out, they were written very well. Lada was utterly terrifying at parts. She's an angry, determined, violent girl who will not allow herself to be attached to anything, but she refuses to call herself a man. She does have her softer parts - Mehmed, Radu - but most of the time she's bitter at her place in life and will do anything to change it. I'm very excited to see more of her. Radu, on the other hand, is the polar opposite of Lada - and he was Radu the Handsome in the history books. He's soft. Lada would call him a coward, but he's also cunning and vicious when he needs to be. Radu is also a fascinating character. I wouldn't say I enjoyed one sibling over the other; both stories kept me turning the pages faster. And Mehmed - the same Mehmed that installs the Ottoman Empire in the heart of Constantinople. I'm very intrigued to see what happens with him. What I like about the Dracul siblings is that White shows two views that are often neglected in historical fiction - (view spoiler)[women in a powerful position, and a gay man. It was rare for women to have power, and Lada's position in the military does feel a bit off, but it wasn't completely unheard of. Radu's sexuality is not unprecedented either - historically, he was likely to be queer. And LGBT people aren't shown to be alone or suffering because of their sexuality, either, which I appreciate. I hope Nazira and Fatima get a nice happy ending when this is all over. (hide spoiler)] As for the plot, well. Political intrigue. Assassination attempts. Siege warfare. It did get slow at times, but this kind of plot gets me going. I loved Huma's role in the story, because she was ruthless and cunning even while wasting away and she did what none of the other characters were willing to do. (view spoiler)[Like killing Ahmet, which Mehmed did not want because he was an infant. And okay, maybe I have played too much Crusader Kings 2, but if there's a pretender to the throne, my opinion is the faster you get rid of him, the better. (hide spoiler)] I couldn't tear myself away because there was a lot going on and so much that could topple it over. The love triangle was actually realistic and I'm glad it's a different form than the "girl chooses between two guys/guy chooses between two girls" one. Love triangles where all three people genuinely care for each other are infinitely more tense. (view spoiler)[And since Radu was part of the sultan's harem, uh, that might be coming in the next book. But I guess I'll just have to wait and see. (hide spoiler)] I can't wait for Now I Rise - I feel like there's going to be some conquering going on, and I'm so excited.

One of the few historical fictions I have read but I definitely deeply love it, it's unusual, original and one-of-a-kind, even tho it shares motifs with GOT. So if u like historical fiction, this one is great! Hyped to read the sequel! The characters are thrilling and multidimensional and have qualities which one would not expect! Great writing!

3.5, let me just, sit down and let everything sink in