Affliction

Affliction Growing Up With a Closeted Gay Dad

Laura Hall2021
In 1937, at the age of nineteen, Ralph Hall, suicidal, revealed his sexual orientation to his grandmother, knowing she would comfort him. He was out for three years afterwards, until an indiscretion sent him back into the closet. At twenty-four, while in the army, he met and married Irene. The couple made their home on the San Francisco Peninsula and had four children. Ralph was an attentive husband and father—albeit with an intense interest in interior design, flower arranging, and fine objects—and a diligent worker who rose to payroll accountant at Standard Oil. It wasn't until 1975 that Ralph came out to his middle daughter, Laura, telling her that he had once considered his sexuality an aberration, an affliction. She was shocked, as the possibility her father might be gay had never crossed her mind. Irene had known Ralph’s secret for eighteen years, but the two remained married until she died. It was only then that this charismatic man and devoted father, by now in his eighties, could freely express his authentic, gay self. Here, Laura paints a vivid and honest portrait of her beloved father and the effect his secret had on her own life.
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Reviews

Photo of Victoria
Victoria@ptoridactyl
5 stars
May 1, 2023

I believe that this book is an eye-opening experience to those (myself included) who are growing up now in a time where, for the most part, it is okay, accepted, and encouraged, to be open about yourself and your identity. We know the history of the Gay Rights movement in the United States but this book is a first and second-hand story of growing up in a closeted life. I very much enjoyed reading this book and would absolutely recommend it. The story flowed really well and it was a joy to see all the pictures sprinkled throughout. Laura went through such a journey of deciphering her parents' love for each other and her love for her parents. Even though her parents had an interesting relationship, she showed us that they were very much there for her and her siblings. Honestly, the hardest part of this story was seeing her mom be embarrassed about her husband. I do understand the generation and the way society was at the time did not make this easy but it hurts to read, to know that was the vibe behind the scenes.