“Because you will leave and we will stay.”

Excruciating. I felt as I was both intruding and experiencing each moment described. A sentimental sort of prose that captures memory rather than technicality. Beautiful!

every love at the first sight, first time, first experience gives a remarkable story; either it is reciprocated or not. but that is a natural feeling that we have for someone. and this is the story love from the writer himself. the way he put everything into words (the longing, the jealously, the love, the dislike, the tenderness, the desperation, and all in aspect) is clearly executed. i do think this book is truly represented for the first love that never fades but still prevail to whatever its season. i like how its writing that profoundly moved me and i like how it is easier for me to comprehend of phillipe's emotions.

the ending felt like a gut punch

i'm genuinely so speechless, i don't know what to say... besson's storytelling is wonderfully elegiac and horribly heart-breaking. i found myself hoping that things would turn out, despite knowing exactly how it would end. the descriptions and usage of memory and retelling were also so wonderfully melancholic and impactful. i've never been so emotional reading something before.

i feel sad

Later I will write about this longing, the intolerable deprivation of the other. I will write about the sadness that eats away at you, making you crazy.

pain

first read:

i cried

second read:

Why did i do this to myself

third read:

it's always the unsent letter that makes me cry

"And when you've been hurt once, you're afraid to try again later, in dread of enduring the same pain. You avoid getting hurt in an attempt to avoid suffering: for years, this principle will serve as my holy sacrament. So many lost years."

"The clandestine meetings resume as before. Kisses on the body. Love in my bedroom. Everything in this room that belongs only to us. Everything that is incommunicable to the rest of the world."

"I know that Thomas consented to this single picture only because he knew (had decided) that it was our last moment together. He smiled so that I could take his smile with me."

"Except that I miss Thomas. I miss him terribly. And that changes everything. Have you noticed how the most beautiful landscapes lose their brilliance as soon as our thoughts prevent us from seeing them properly?"

"Of course, it took time, a lot of time, before I admitted that everything was lost, before I decided to say goodbye forever. I kept hoping for a sign. I thought of initiating another meeting. I started letters that I never sent. Desire does not go out like a match, it extinguishes slowly as it burns into ash. In the end I gave up on all possibilities of a reunion."

I think this book struck me very, very hard in many different ways. The desperation, the longing, the yearning. So much of it is relatable, not just because of the forbidden aspect of the relationship between the narrator and Thomas, but because these are the feelings of a first love. My first love was a more intense love than I've felt since. At one point in the story, the narrator goes to describe losing his mother as a child at a fair, and the absolute terror and loneliness that came with that. He relates this back to how he felt fearing he would never see Thomas again. Once I read that piece, I had to put the book down for a moment and close my eyes, recounting all the times I felt like that in my teen years with the boy I loved. That piece has embedded itself into my brain and become one of my favorite things I've read all year solely due to the relatability of it. Love is pathetic, embarrassing, and humiliating. Besson describes these feelings in a way that also makes them beautiful, a way that will have you recounting your own first loves and former experiences with relationships. The ending is devastating, yet still so romantic. Despite Thomas' death, despite all the years put between the narrator and him, the narrator feels so much love for him still. He writes about their short time together with fondness, love, and nostalgia. I can only begin to hope to have even a fraction of these feelings to share with someone. Beautiful story, I'm upset I put this on hold for so long.

Very well written. The beautiful writing truly made me feel the emotions of the narrator’s reminiscing of his first love and adolescence in general. I like that the majority of the book was told in the past tense, simply a man looking back on a part of his life that was important. The final third felt a little unexpected to me. Usually books like this stay in the past, but here we got to see the aftermath of lives lived. This was really good, and the final lines hit hard

Finished in a day. Rarely does a book choke me up. Beautiful.

I seriously have no words for this. No summary, no explanation will ever come close to reading, and feeling what this story portrays in such simple and thoughtful manner.

Lu en trois jours, un chapitre par période de temps, une période de temps pour une ellipse. Je pense que ça m’a permis d’être à peu près en accord avec la nostalgie et l’empreinte du souvenir qui marque chaque chapitre. Je pense que j’ai facilement connecté avec la façon dont il écrit, il y avait quelque chose de moi dans la structure de ses mots. J’ai pu associer des films et chansons et couleurs à chaque instants, les marquant pour toujours —-99luftballons, L’homme blessé, Cyril Collard, Days of Candy, Duras… C’est un livre très proche de mon cœur, je le sais déjà. Oui. Un jour cela arrivera, un jour il vous viendra le regret abominable de cela que vous qualifiez « d'invivable », c'est-à-dire de ce qui a été tenté par vous et moi pendant cet été 80 de pluie et de vent. Quelquefois c'est au bord de la mer. Quand la plage se vide, à la tombée de la nuit. Après le départ des colonies d'enfants. Sur toute l'étendue des sables tout à coup, ça hurle que Capri c'est fini. Que C'ÉTAIT LA VILLE DE NOTRE PREMIER AMOUR mais que maintenant c'est fini. FINI. Que c'est terrible tout à coup. Terrible. Chaque fois à pleurer, à fuir, à mourir parce que Capri a tourné avec la Terre, vers l'oubli de l'amour. Duras

this book literally devastated meee. this book tolerated my "what ifs" in life

ok i'm devastated

I was torn between reading this in English or its original French — I regret my choice somewhat: I could feel that his prose probably made more sense in French, particularly in terms of its pacing. I appreciate the introspection, the glimpses we get into the main characters childhood, but I was a bit confused by how far this aspect of it was pushed, to the point of blending flashbacks with an almost stream of consciousness style. I’m not sure that helped move the story forward, or acquire a better understanding of the main characters current state of mind aside from the melancholy he carries. Important episodes of his life were hinted at but left unexplained, I wish we could have gotten further insight into this side of him. All in all, if you’re looking for an emotional read, it does tick all the boxes. It will tug at your heart. However, I don’t think one can rate a book as emotional as this so easily, it’s a bit like trying to water down the message it is trying to convey. It was a beautiful, heart wrenching story, told in such a tender way. I do not have any criticism in that regard. This review will be revisited once I get my hands on a French copy. 3.5⭐️⭐️⭐️✨

this was heartwrenching

this feeling of love, it transports me, it makes me happy. at the same time, it consumes me and makes me miserable, the way all impossible lives are miserable.

Lie with is the kind of book where you’ll find yourself at 4am crying on the floor. It’s heart gripping. It destroyed me and I will never recover from that letter in the last page.

"nothing touches me more than cracks in the armor and the person who reveals them." "desire does not go out like a match, it extinguishes slowly as it burns into ash." "you get used to everything, even the defection of those you thought you were bound to forever."

i will never recover

Beautiful prose that really grips at your heart and tears it apart. One of desire, struggle and the acceptance of non closure

what the fuck? why is it always  sad?