Lori Gottlieb

"From a New York Timesbest-selling writer, psychotherapist, and advice columnist, a brilliant and surprising new book that takes us behind the scenes of a therapist's world--where her patients are in crisis (and so is she)"--

A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

Kiyarra

It’s not as if we’re going to peer in those darker corners, flip on the light, and find a bunch of cockroaches. Fireflies love the dark too. There’s beauty in those places. But we have to look in there to see it.

No matter how open we as a society are about formerly private matters, the stigma around our emotional struggles remains formidable.

But I also know something less commonly understood: that change and loss travel together. We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.

Iris

I particularly liked this line from Frankl's book: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Suvitha Wilson

Sophie

Poh Bao Li

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! Now being developed as a television series with Eva Longoria and ABC! “Rarely have I read a book that challenged me to see myself in an entirely new light, and was at the same time laugh-out-loud funny and utterly absorbing.”—Katie Couric “This is a daring, delightful, and transformative book.”—Arianna Huffington, Founder, Huffington Post and Founder & CEO, Thrive Global “Wise, warm, smart, and funny. You must read this book.”—Susan Cain, New York Times best-selling author of Quiet From a New York Times best-selling author, psychotherapist, and national advice columnist, a hilarious, thought-provoking, and surprising new book that takes us behind the scenes of a therapist’s world—where her patients are looking for answers (and so is she). One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose of­fice she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but. As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her patients’ lives — a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can’t stop hooking up with the wrong guys — she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell. With startling wisdom and humor, Gottlieb invites us into her world as both clinician and patient, examining the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is rev­olutionary in its candor, offering a deeply per­sonal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly reveal­ing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and our power to transform them.

A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

Donna G

akshaya

Basil

valeneayar

Savindi Jinasena

The nature of life is change and the nature of people is to resist change.

In some ways I feel like I devoured this book and in some ways I feel like I need to go re-read some of the chapters to grasp them emotionally. I honestly cannot remember how I stumbled upon this book or Lori Gottlieb's "Dear Therapist" column in The Atlantic, which I'm a huge fan of. Either way I'm so glad I found this book. It's a book that is so human if that makes sense. The way we come to hate and love the stories of the people, how our hearts break as we see what happens to some of the people in this book. I didn't outright bawl, but there were times where I just had to put the book down because I could feel myself going into an emotional turmoil on behalf of the people in this book. 

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone is a beautiful book, in it's execution and honesty. I appreciate the vulnerability Gottlieb displays, which are not only her own, but also her patients'. In some ways it helped to understand the human condition, how we can also be infuriating and loving to those around us, but how all of us carry baggage around and how it can spill intentionally or unintentionally into our lives outside a Therapy room. It also helped me understand my own patterns in therapy. The incorporation of psychological theory and insight into how therapy works, made me appreciate the process. But I really value how Gottlieb made therapists humans too, how they too encounter so many obstacles and triumphs in their own lives. I never left like I was being lectured to in this book and I liked that about it. I was a big fan of Lori's therapist Wendell. His insight, humility and sense of humour made me laugh, but it was also easy to appreciate how he helped Lori too. 

I really can't recommend this book enough. I don't think you need to go to Therapy to appreciate this book. I think the insight into how Therapy functions is extremely useful and it may help to understand ourselves better.

AN AMAZONBOOK OF THE YEAR Ever wonder what your therapist is thinking? Now you can find out, as therapist and New York Timesbestselling author Lori Gottlieb takes us behind the scenes of her practice -- where her patients are looking for answers (and so is she). When a personal crisis causes her world to come crashing down, Lori Gottlieb -- an experienced therapist with a thriving practice in Los Angeles -- is suddenly adrift. Enter Wendell, himself a veteran therapist with an unconventional style, whose sessions with Gottlieb will prove transformative for her. As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her own patients' lives -- a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen who feels she has nothing to live for, and a self-destructive twenty-something who can't stop hooking up with the wrong guys -- she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very questions she is bringing to Wendell. Taking place over one year, and beginning with the devastating event that lands her in Wendell's office, Maybe You Should Talk to Someoneoffers a rare and candid insight into a profession that is conventionally bound with rules and secrecy. Told with charm and compassion, vulnerability and humour, it's also the story of an incredible relationship between two therapists, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious inner lives, as well as our power to transform them.

Jamieson

I didn't really have many expectations going into this except that I had heard a few good things about it on Booktube. But it's a book I ended up telling everyone I know about as I was reading it. 

This follows Lori, a therapist who goes to therapy herself after her boyfriend breaks up with her and she finds herself unable to cope with it. What was supposed to be one or two emergency sessions leads into Lori discovering her grief over the break-up might have more root issues than she expected. Told partly as Lori goes through her therapy, and partly through the therapy of her own patients, this was a really unique and human memoir. 

I saw a few reviews saying they didn't get the point of this memoir but I think it didn't necessarily need a point. For me, it was just a really nice book that demystified therapy and attempted to show how every person has similar issues, struggles and fears and how even the most difficult of clients can find something of value in therapy. I thought it was a book about humanity and all the different shades of people, but how we are all connected to eachother through human relationships and interactions. The way the experiences of Lori's clients are mirrored with her own in therapy really drove home this idea for me. I also thought this was just a really interesting book about a therapy and how it actually works and some of the psychology behind it, and utilised by, therapists.

Anyway, overall I really liked this. I found myself super attached and invested in the stories of Lori's clients and I would genuinely describe this as illuminating. Both in how it illuminated the inner lives of people and the things all people have in common, but also in showing the process of therapy from a personal and meaningful standpoint.

celene

im not into non fiction but like,,,,, i enjoyed reading this memoir ab a therapist and her therapy sessions w her clients & and her therapy sessions w her therapist 😭,,,,, (my fave chaps were ab julie, john, & w her therapist 😭) the laughing-sobbing moments were worth the read,,,,

Midori Kobayashi

4/5 stars


There’s no hierarchy of pain. Suffering shouldn’t be ranked, because pain is not a contest.

Non-fiction books are generally a miss for me but this book hit all the right spots. I know this was like the author's journal which they published later in life, but the stories are so poignant and I feel so invested plus I went through it as an audiobook [CANNOT RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH!!] the narrator has done a fantastic job in this one. It's almost like you are talking to the therapist face-to-face. In this book, the author explains and verbalizes what their thought process is, how they think and feel. And it resonated a lot with me. Some of the examples the narrator gives just gave me a reality check I didn't know I needed. 


Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.


I did take my sweet time reading this book because I didn't want to fly through it just for the sake of it. I enjoyed each and every chapter and almost treated it as a weekly session (haha). This part memoir, part self-help wisdom, and part psychotherapy primer is something I would suggest everyone give a go because you might end up realizing a lot of things about yourself/your behavior which you didn't know up until then. There are a few weak spots obviously, the author's personal storyline was not as strong (view spoiler)[(it felt absurd the sudden breakup and the likes) (hide spoiler)] but the other aspects more than made up for it. Highly recommend it, especially the audiobook!!



  Book Trigger Warnings- Alcoholism, Cancer, Car accident (past), Child death (past), Death of parent (past), Domestic violence (mentioned), Grief, Mental health, Miscarriage (mentioned), Profanity, Suicidal ideation

Diana Budman

Jeannette Ordas

A 4.5 stars read bumped up. I really enjoyed this book - it's addicting and relatable from the stories she tells about her self and her patients. It's kind of like a backstage pass about what happens in a therapist's office and there's lots of insight to glean here. Like, maybe when I was seeing a therapist and she suggested that we didn't need to continue our sessions, it wasn't because we cured my anxiety (we didn't) but because she was bored with me. Hmmm. An excellent read, regardless.

Belle

3.5 rounded up. I really enjoyed the beginning but didn't love the ending as much. It was interesting to get more context about what goes into therapy.

sophia n

"Almost is always the hardest. How many people avoid trying for things they really want in life because it’s more painful to get close to the goal and not achieve it, then to not have taken the chance in the first place?"

whoo boy. i feel like my whole review of this should just be: you should SEE the notes i took while reading this.

what a powerful book on so many levels. as someone who lives with a wonderful heaping of mental illness and who is intimately familiar with therapy and therapists, this was still somehow incredibly revealing and eye-opening in a lot of ways i hadn't considered or fully processed before. also hearing about both a cast of other therapy clients' journeys and the author's was truly moving.

there's so much of all our experiences reflected in here, ranging from gottlieb's journey herself, to erikson's stages of psychosocial development, to a very intimate story about a 30-something with terminal cancer, and i found that in every piece there was so much to dive into, so much to take away and think about and chew on. even when what gottlieb was relaying back to the reader had nothing to do with my life experience, it did. because we all go through this. we all can relate.

anyway this was so perfectly written and i cried a lot that's it the end

Allison

I started reading this along with a fiction novel, thinking I’d finish the novel first. I ended up reaching for this more and more. 

Great insight into therapy whether you are a current/past/future/not patient. I’d never considered how a patient would affect his/her therapist. The anecdotes weaved together so well. I appreciated that most of the chapters were shorter because I could allow myself to read one more chapter before bed without feeling too guilty.

5 stars aren’t enough for this book. I can’t recommend picking up this book enough! Gottlieb picks up the big issues people confront in therapy and handles them beautifully. It’ll make you laugh, it’ll make you cry, and most importantly, it’ll make you reflect. 

Nimisha Jain

courtney garrison

Mini Review
I enjoyed this book, but it’s not my favorite ever or one I will be jumping to reread. It’s also super slow, which I had expected going into a nonfiction about therapy. 

The writing and the stories of all these people kept my attention because you get to see all of them grow and even the therapist seeing a therapist grew. The book went into detail about therapy and how we interact with each other and how sometimes someone is an asshole to protect themselves from being hurt.

So while this wasn’t my absolute favorite read this month, it will stick with me for a long while. I learned to think things out before reacting. To also wonder if someone is being mean or rude because of me or if there trying to protect themselves from being rejected or hurt. 

Overall I give this one a 3.5 and please go into it in the right head space because there is talks of death, cancer, grief, suicide, depression and so much more.

Therapy is insanely interesting to read about and the stories of Lori’s patients make the book so moving and real. At times, the writing feels a bit overdone, with sentences and paragraphs going on too long, particularly when it feels like she’s over-explaining patient’s situations.  Overall though, would recommend for a mostly easy nonfiction/memoir/self-help. 

AN AMAZON BOOK OF THE YEAR Ever wonder what your therapist is really thinking? Now you can find out … Meet Lori Gottlieb, an insightful and compassionate therapist whose clients present with all kinds of problems. There’s the struggling new parents; the older woman who feels she has nothing to live for; the self-destructive young alcoholic; and the terminally ill 35-year-old newlywed. And there’s John, a narcissistic television producer, who frankly just seems to be a bit of a jerk. Over the course of a year, they all make progress. But Gottlieb is not just a therapist — she’s also a patient who's on a journey of her own. Interspersed with the stories of her clients are her own therapy sessions, as Gottlieb goes in search of the hidden roots of a devastating and life-changing event. Personal, revealing, funny, and wise, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone opens a rare window onto a world that is most often bound by secrecy, offering an illuminating tour of a profoundly private process.

the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist

I was hooked after a couple of pages. It made me laugh, cry, and overall feel many emotions. I found out about this book on a “books you should read in your 30’s” and never has a list been so right. 

Christina Diaz-Lanza

I don't usually read a lot nonfiction books, but this book just called for me. 

 I'm not sure what to write about this book. It contained multiple sessions as well as Lori's own experiences with life. 

I loved the ending, and that this particular ending is about ending things, and how something's end doesn't mean that that something is completely over, because the experiences, the memories live with us. 

 I glimpsed inside a therapist head, and learned about myself while reading this book.  Don't draw conclusions, you cannot self diagnose yourself, you'll enter a different mindset, and destroy all the clishés in your head. Old people fuck, a young woman dying from cancer can have a funeral where people cry, and even therapists need to go to therapy, because we are human and we have needs, and problems.

I don't usually read a lot nonfiction books, but this book just called for me. 

 I'm not sure what to write about this book. It contained multiple sessions as well as Lori's own experiences with life. 

I loved the ending, and that this particular ending is about ending things, and how something's end doesn't mean that that something is completely over, because the experiences, the memories live with us. 

 I glimpsed inside a therapist head, and learned about myself while reading this book.  Don't draw conclusions, you cannot self diagnose yourself, you'll enter a different mindset, and destroy all the clishés in your head. Old people fuck, a young woman dying from cancer can have a funeral where people cry, and even therapists need to go to therapy, because we are human and we have needs, and problems.

Ari Hertz

I liked this book. It’s a sweet and sometimes sad story and Gottlieb’s dual role as both teacher and student, which helps to keep the tone personal and approachable. Sometimes she seems a little too focused on the narrative’s flow, which can make the events and characters feel artificial at times. But I’m sure it has helped tons of readers take the first step towards therapy and taking control of their mental health and I think that’s great!

Dani Pesayco

Despite me spacing out this book for over two months, I really didn't mind actually. I'm glad I didn't rush this because the book tackles very human and very real circumstances, as much as you'd get from a book written by a therapist about her patients and her own experience as a patient.

As mentioned in the Author's Note, if you see yourself in the pages, it's purely "intentional and coincidental," further underscoring how we all have the same profoundly human experiences no matter who, what, or where we are in life. And it is in this way that I see how important therapy is, how important it really is to have a deeper understanding of ourselves in order to see how we change and grow in relation to others and our environment. Therapy helps achieve this because, my god, that is definitely not an easy thing to do alone. This book highlights that you are not—and you don't have to be—alone.

Where I'm from, therapy can be considered a privilege because the majority still cannot access this service due to its steep price (I can attest to this—I had to stop seeing mine because I couldn't afford it anymore). This makes me all the more grateful that a resource like this is available to read. It definitely can't replace the work of psychotherapy, but it can definitely open more people's eyes to the work that goes behind it and the ripple effect that it creates, starting with the patient and radiating outwards.

I personally enjoyed this book because I've always been intrigued with psychology and the workings of the human mind in this context. Despite its very slight structural issues with chapters that tend to jump from one place to another, by the end it provides the whole story of people just trying their absolute best to be human—to not just survive, but to live.

Clauridia

“You can have compassion without forgiving. There are many ways to move on, and pretending to feel a certain way isn’t one of them.”

Hands down the best self-help book I’ve read so far! The book has many insightful analysis on the thinking processes of both the therapist and her clients.

Someone told me earlier this year that I was not willing to accept. It was a confusing comment. Accept what? Yet, this book has manage to allow me to find that answer.
 
Each chapter made me self-reflected on my current situation and I so badly wants to get back to therapy after reading this book. It is a book that one can go back to re-read again and gain lessons out of it. 

Thank you for the wonderful book. 

Madhuri Sridhara

4.75- When I read about this book, I knew it was going to be a good one. And now that I'm done with it, a part of me wishes I'd read it 5 years earlier. My life might have gone entirely differently. I might have been a therapist. But I know that I appreciate this book because of the struggles I've faced since then. That I might have tossed this book away 5 years ago. 
This is an excellent read for any mental health professional or anyone who's going through mental health issues or anyone interested in the therapeutic process. 
Lori's observations, along with the narration by Brittany, is amazing. I found myself wishing for her to be my therapist. I learnt so much and yet I need to go back and absorb so much more. She knows how to tell stories. All her clients, her therapist and her own story was so relatable and touching. This one will stay with me for a long time.

Nicki

This book was really good. I think it helped put a lot of things into perspective and I ended up savoring it because I wanted to focus on what she was saying. I definitely will keep this around for a reread.

Natasha S

4.5/5

As someone who has been going to see a therapist for the past 2 years, I really resonated with this story!  Maybe You Should Talk to Someone  focuses on the therapist's relationships with her clients, as well as, her relationship with her own therapist. I loved seeing both sides of the story and Gottlieb's humanity, patience, and compassion. I also really enjoyed the 3 main clients who were highlighted - Julie's story made me cry (I mean all 3 of them did), but I left this book feeling lighter and wanting to live my life to the fullest. I will say this story can be long-winded but the message is beautiful. I will definitely be recommending this to all my friends :)

Judith Van Laere

Josefina

i never thought i'd cry whilst reading a non-fiction, but now i realized that everything is possible.
as a person that recently started therapy, this felt like a good insight to understand both myself and my therapist, and hope for a better time.

Meet Lori Gottlieb, an insightful and compassionate therapist whose clients present her with all kinds of problems. There’s the struggling new parents; the older woman who feels she has nothing to live for; the self-destructive young alcoholic; and the terminally ill 35-year-old newlywed. And there’s John, a narcissistic television producer, who frankly just seems to be a bit of a jerk. Over the course of a year, they all make progress. But Gottlieb is not just a therapist–she’s also a patient who’s on a journey of her own. Interspersed with the stories of her clients are her own therapy sessions, as Gottlieb goes in search of the hidden roots of a devastating and life-changing event. Personal, revealing, funny, and wise, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone opens a rare window onto a world that is most often bound by secrecy, offering an illuminating tour of a profoundly private process.

Kaitlyn Wendler

Lori beautifully captures the human condition - the good, the bad and the ugly. This book made me laugh, made me cry, but most of all made me check-in with my own emotions. The author normalizes the act of seeing a therapist and the concept that we are all on a journey that rarely keeps to the plan.  

Bruno Padinha

A glimpse into the world of psychotherapy, a story that goes from light-hearted humor to deep considerations about people, relationships and life's purpose.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

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