Compelling, but because of its weirdness. Main character is not likeable. Echos of other contemporary weird-cool authors — Otessa, Mona Awad, etc.

I actually... kind of loved this? Definitely outside of my normal scope of reading, but the way Broder talks about love, relationships, anxiety, etc., really hits the nail on the head in a really poetic way. This book is a combination of that and blunt, humourous judgements and thoughts from our narrator. Also, it was hot. Quite honestly, 1 star deducted for the poop digging scene (never been more revolted in me life)

a smidge too freaky for my taste

I might've burned through this book in less than 24 hours, but you didn't hear that from me. If you have trouble with "unlikable" characters, you won't be too fond of the main character. Her inner monologue is academic, morose, obsessive, judgmental and kind of mean. She's smart, so she knows when she's making terrible decisions and does so anyway. If you've experienced mental illness, you might understand enough to forgive her for it. I recognized the "ick" of my lowest points in her narrative. CW for suicidal ideation: (view spoiler)[I used to have constant, mundane, casual, sick, romanticized thoughts of suicide/death on loop in my head 24/7. You don't really want to die. You just want the pain to end and don't know another way. Depression blows, full stop. (hide spoiler)] Imo, Lucy isn't an irredeemable asshole. She seems clinically depressed, in a rut, and directionless. If she can get through this low phase and find her happiness and inherent self-worth, she'll be a better person. "I still didn't love myself. I wasn't sure how or when that was going to happen. But maybe it would if I continued to stay alive." I enjoyed this book though. It was surreal for the obvious- an actual merman. It was also surreal in that our story doesn't take place in the MC's "real life" with her usual job, scenery and life routine. She's at her sister's beach house, no bills, sorta/kinda no job to worry about - save for dog-sitting and figuring out writing her book. There were clear themes around the flawed ideation of death as a comforting escape, as well love's appeal versus its availability. Tbh, this ended up more like a fantasy/horror in a way. Spoiler:(view spoiler)[Oh my god I loathed her for neglecting the dog in favor of running off with boy-toys, though. Unforgivable, truly. I saw that good boy's needless death coming from a mile away and it pissed me off. You literally had one fucking job, you woman-child!! Justice for Dominic! (hide spoiler)] Also:(view spoiler)[Yes, there's mer-boning. Yes, we get a description of his piece. No, it wasn't sexy at allllllll. I even felt the MC was showing just how totally delusional, needy for attention and "under his spell" she was to even try it. (hide spoiler)]

I read the whole thing because it was super weird and I was curious but I genuinely disliked the story and especially the main character. Two stars only for the writing.

“My longing leaked out in other places. It was in my love for Sappho, the divine feminine. I craved that nurturing, to be swallowed up in the arms of Aphrodite herself, rocked and held.” This book is strange. In some ways I enjoyed reading it. In other ways, it was very difficult to read. To be clear, I’m not entirely sure that this book was meant for me. I am a virgin. Thus, all the descriptions of the actual fucking (of which there was a lot) went over my head. However, the main thrust of the story, the questions of love and obsession, are likely universal. That’s where this book was the strongest, to me. Lucy’s tone throughout the book is very abrasive. She doesn’t under what the difference between her love and obsession is supposed to be, and she doesn’t understand why, and there’s frustration in the way she narrates the story. Over the course of the book, though, her tone softens, just enough. The book tackles its themes in a very Socratic manner. The text is filled questions, both in Lucy’s narration and the dialogue between characters. The questions the book asks are “What is Love? And does it matter?” And the story, so insistent in its asking, barely manages to answer. Then ending of this book, the barely-answering, was very, very good. I considered DNFing this book when I was about 2/3 of the way through. I didn’t like the narration, or the constant questions, or the answers the book seemed to be giving. Ultimately, though, I’m glad I finished it.

3.5 it was very relatable in the way depression was described, the attachment & romanticization of people (particularly men), i liked the narration. i just feel like it’s not targeted for me as i couldn’t get properly immersed. i still liked it.

i've written and deleted this review like 3 times, because i hated it so much i can't even put it into words. it takes a lot to write something that is so empty, that every time it tries to reach some depth, it just fails miserably. it didn't even bother to ride with the bizarre atmosphere it was aiming for, it was just bad and vapid. the writing didn't hep either, with lines like "his balls were delicious, like raw oysters" and "i wanted to eat his tail with garlic and butter" and of course "i watched him push off the rocks and dive into the ocean. it looked like he was entering a giant vagina [...]". genuinely not sure what this story was meant to achieve.

there was something about the morning of a date that tricked me. it tricked me out of the haze of being alive. or maybe it tricked me out of the sadness of knowing that one day i would die. this was such an intriguing book ! I think that Broder did a fantastic job in conveying the protagonist’s inner conflict and mental state through a plot that is entertaining and absurd. loved how vapid and funny it could be at times while simulataneously making some really thought-provoking points and diving deeper into existentialism and romantic relationships and fulfilment. Lucy is a protagonist who rivals those i grew so attached to in my year of rest and relaxation and animal and is just so fascinatingly written that she holds her own superbly. very much looking forward to discovering more of Melissa Broder’s work ♓︎ ♓︎ :D

This book competes with Salter for explicit descriptions of sex, but here from a woman's point of view. The core mystery of the book is the merman, and this is a very readable story - once I got into it, it became a compulsive read. There is considerable humor here as well; Broder skewers self-help and group therapy sessions mercilessly, but ultimately is compassionate toward those who need them. She is equally hard on men seeking one night stands, even though the protagonist pursues these men for casual sex. The main character is working through a variety of issues - a break-up, looming loss of employment, drug / alcohol dependency, and a sense that life, or at least her life, is careening toward nothingness. Feelings are explored at length on all these subjects, and yet the story moves forward apace, never really dragging. I will avoid spoilers to say only that I was startled and a little disappointed by the ending, but I see that thematically, it fits. This is a good page-turner of a book; and I recommend it for a summer read as long as very explicit sex scenes are not a problem for you.

"Maybe [the ocean and I] were on the same side, comprised of the same things, water mostly, also mystery. The ocean swallowed things up--boats, people--but it didn't look outside itself for fulfillment. It could take whatever skimmed its surface or it could leave it. In its depths already lived a whole world of who-knows-what. It was self-sustaining. I should be like that. It made me wonder what was inside of me.”

no.

youch ❤️‍🩹 had to take a break before returning to the last 100 pages because the darkness got darker…Melissa Broder writes characters with the most ugly painful patterns & beliefs but in the most human way 😮‍💨

content warning for suicidality & addiction

this was my first melissa broder book and it was so funny and unique. it reminded me a lot of eleanor oliphant is completely fine. lucy is written so well, overall such a good read will be reading more melissa broder

hehehe she fucked a fish

it is so bad i wanna give you a zero but that’s not possible so i give a one

did i enjoy reading this book? yes would i recommend it? NO

This book was really weird for me. On the one hand, I didn’t like the main character and most of her struggles didn’t matter to me, but there were moments that seemed to come out of nowhere where suddenly something about her or her story would resonate a little too strongly with me. I have to give the story a solid three because although I didn’t enjoy this book more than I did enjoy, I still appreciated the journey that she went on and how her relationship with love and herself evolved.

"When we imagine a situation - when our hearts decide this must happen - we will go to any lengths to make the fantasy happen." I finished this book in two days! I finished on the 8th early, so early, in the morning because I could not put it down. As so many other reviewers have mentioned, this book is not for everyone so a little disclaimer, if you hate this book, you may not like this review... We find ourselves with Lucy, a Ph.D. student working on a thesis about Sappho who finds herself breaking up from a guy she has been comfortable with for the past 8 years but doesn't really love the guy, just the idea of him. After a breakup, she finds herself in California housesitting and dogsitting for her sister. This is where it gets interesting. She meets a merman, friends! Yes, that is correct, a living breathing merman. But hold on friends, this book is so much more than the impossible love between a human and mystical creature. Lucy struggles with depression and anxiety and probably a whole host of problems- it's her journey through these emotions that really captured my attention. She is fully aware of the void and the darkness in her and she struggles throughout the book on how to deal with it. She searches for love, like so many of us, in a variety of places - people, experiences, donuts (yes she eats a bunch of donuts). Many people mention her being unlikeable as a character, but I just couldn't find something not to like about her. She is just a woman struggling with the affliction of life. Since Lucy is working on a thesis about Sappho, the book is filled with Greek myths and thoughts on how the gods interact with humans and how they relate to us. Despite the serious nature of the book, I was laughing out LOUD, friends. I would consider this book a "dramady", because some of Lucy's antics, her friends' words, and a lot of moments that I could relate to as a female was freaking hilarious. Be ready for a lot of women bodily fluids being mentioned. I was extremely happy with the ending. I won't give it away, but I loved Lucy's ultimate decision. It was heartfelt, tender, and I sobbed like a baby. Now I knew he was the one who had brought the darkness. I felt that I didn't have to be afraid anymore. The gloom wasn't coming from me. I was still responsible for him but not or the atmosphere. So many times I had tried to fix things, peoples feelings, the shifting moods of men, by adjusting my own behavior. But in this case it was beyond me."

3.5/5 A book with a zodiac sign or astrology term in the title ✔

The 2018 award for “most page-turn-y like there’s no tomorrow then makes you feel more than a bit stupid when it ends” goes to...

Raw and keenly observed. This novel lays bare (pun intended) a certain type of woman whose self worth is calculated by the men in her life who want her, who she rejects, or who reject her. This constantly changing internal score-keeping undermines self esteem and leads to “risky behaviors” ... described in graphic detail. This first-person narrative is an intimate portrait of a 38 year-old woman’s struggle to find her way forward after a big break-up and the further delay of her thesis. There’s a mystical element as well, invoked by crystals, fortune-tellers, and a mythical sea creature.

Stars: 3.5/5

Wow yeah okay, soo… yikes, right? Also LOL. Also why? I’m not opposed to sex forward novels, or the depiction and discussion of taboo topics in literature (the least of which in this novel was the main character bangin’ a humanoid fish), but this… this was a lot. And by a lot I mean ridiculous. And by ridiculous I mean the whole time my face was involuntarily scrunched into an expression which I can only assume conveyed the message “uhmmm, feels unnecessary and/or absurd, but okay”. Lucy’s internal dialogue read like the philosophical musings of Carrie Bradshaw, but if Carrie Bradshaw was actually a manic Millennial Anne Rice on a looot of Ambien. Should I give you a quote as example? I really don’t want to, but if you insist… “Didn’t we all just want a thousand hard cocks attached to the bodies of boys who have died for us, still warm, to plug our infinite holes?” Yikes. LOL. Why?