My Friend Dahmer

Written by a man who went to high school with and was sort of a peripheral friend of teenaged Jeffrey Dahmer, this is not a particularly sympathetic portrayal of the notorious serial killer. Backderf states in the introduction, "Dahmer was a twisted wretch whose depravity was almost beyond comprehension. Pity him, but don't empathize with him." It's a well-researched story of what it was like to be around Jeff before he became the infamous Dahmer. Jeff is portrayed as a sad kid who started drinking heavily in high school in an attempt to quiet his demons, but also as a kid who all the other kids knew was "off" for reasons other than just the drinking. Backderf's biggest takeaway from the experience was that the adults who should have noticed Jeff's behavior either weren't there or didn't care. As he says on p. 67, with a haunting illustration of Jeff as he is becoming Dahmer, "Where were the damn adults?"

Jeffrey Dahmer always exhibited tendencies that seemed different from other kids his age. Derf spent their formative years as an observer and sometime friend of Dahmer all the way through high school graduation and describes him as a lonely boy living with urges that he didn't understand and couldn't control. While acknowledging that the things Dahmer did were horrific, he depicts an environment that might have contributed to Dahmer's unusual behaviors through his words and pictures, making him a somewhat sympathetic person. This isn't the type of book to be an enjoyable read due to the subject matter, but it is well written and offers a unique perspective on the early years of a serial killer. This graphic novel definitely isn't intended to be read by children due to the explicit nature of the illustrations and text. Overall, My Friend Dahmer, is a unique vision of the decline of a person into madness.

An amazing graphic novel

Derf Backderf's graphic novel detailing his high school friendship with Jeffrey Dahmer is dark, disturbing, and painfully interesting. I couldn't stop reading it. I think it's so rare to get a glimpse of the life of a serial killer from the perspective of a friend (or former friend), so Backderf's memories of his time with Dahmer highlight so many intriguing points. The things that get missed, the attention that isn't there, the traumas endured, addiction and mental health struggles might all be to blame for someone to become a killer.

So wow. Really liked this but also a little torn. I was a little cautious going into this. On one hand it's a perspective I think a lot of people would be intrigued to read - someone who knew the monster before the killings. Although I'm sceptical about humanising a convicted serial killer, I think there's merit in asking the question - how did we get here? I think this book got halfway there. Backderf definitely delved into the idea that the adults in Dahmer's life failed him in a number of ways and missed all the glaring red flags that seemed so clear to his classmates. But I'm wary of how Backderf and his peers interact with Dahmer throughout. I've been in similar situations with classmates who give off a sinister/concerning vibe. And I can definitely relate to the conflicted relationship with these people, especially at that age. Where it feels like leaving them alone is cruel, but getting close feels wrong or unsafe. But there are times where it feels a little less like Backderf is keeping his peer at arms length and more like he and his friends are using Dahmer for their entertainment, and I feel like this could have used a more nuanced reflection. That all being said, loved the art. I think this was definitely a fascinating, thought provoking and chilling piece and I would recommend to those interested in true crime. 3.5*

First graphic novel I’ve ever read, and a good choice at that. As a murderino I’m morbidly intrigued by serial killers, and Jeffrey Dahmer is definitely one of the first ones I can remember researching. Reading this from the perspective of a former friend — if you could call him that — was really very interesting. And the part where Backderf recalls saying “Dahmer is probably a serial killer by now!”? Chills. How many of us have made an off-handed comment to that effect about someone we know. I know I have.

I thought this was going to be a whole lot better then it actually was.

Somehow my review only attached itself to another edition when I marked this book as "currently reading" for the second time... whoops! Anyway, sorry for the confusion, but the following is my original review/commentary for the book that I wrote when I read it last year: Is it possible to identify the signs that make a murderer? If so, would it have been possible to prevent the deaths of the 17 victims who lost their lives to Jeffrey Dahmer? Perhaps the 17 lives lost to Jeffrey Dahmer, and the 17 lost in the Parkland shooting have more than their number of victims in common. The signs of Jeffrey Dahmer’s mental problems were identifiable, both in real life and in the graphic novel and movie adaptation of My Friend Dahmer by Derf (John) Backderf, therefore, the reputation of this notorious killer likely could have been prevented. This trend is mirrored in modern day society through the common background of the large portion of people who commit violent crimes. For example, it has been stated in the media that the Parkland shooter might have actually been bullied, which could have been a sign to recognize the risk of him turning violent one day. The movie adaptation of My Friend Dahmer was directed by Marc Meyers, and features Ross Lynch as Jeffrey Dahmer. It was released at Tribeca film festival in April 2017, but was not screened at most major movie theaters. Within the past couple of months, it became available for streaming on Amazon Instant Video. The script was written by Marc Meyers and John (Derf) Backderf, the latter being one of the real Dahmer’s friends in high school in the 70’s. Since reflecting on his relationship with Dahmer, Backderf has realized the red flags that Dahmer displayed in high school, and has voiced his surprise that no adults ever recognized them. One sign that should have been easy to identify as a red flag was the fact that Dahmer (played by Ross Lynch) came from a very broken home. Initially, his parents were married, but constantly fought. This created an unhealthy environment for Dahmer, and it caused him to spend more time alone, feeding the odd behaviors that will be described later. While his parents were still together, Dahmer’s father and brother were relatively normal. However, his mother struggled with her mental health and a drug problem caused by her medication. This is shown in the movie through her constant cravings of the drug, despite Dahmer insisting that she was supposed to be off of her medication. One detail that provides further information on Dahmer’s odd behavior is included only in the graphic novel rather than the film. This detail is that Dahmer’s signature “spaz” act was actually likely inspired by the fits that his mother went through from taking prescription drugs, rather than the interior designer with cerebral palsy that he claimed it was an imitation of. Dahmer’s “spaz” act is a major reason that he became so comfortable with causing trouble and never expected to be caught. Throughout the movie, the book and in real life, Dahmer would pretend to be undergoing a sort of medical fit to draw attention to himself and make people laugh. He simply wanted to be noticed in a world where he never was. At one point in the book, movie and in real life, Derf (Alex Wolff) and his friends Mike (Harrison Holzer) and Neil (Tommy Nelson) ask Dahmer to put on one last “spaz” act. The catch was that this time they would pay him and he would do it in front of a whole mall. In one of the most chilling scenes in the entire film, Dahmer executes on the performance that he promises to give. From the moment that the scene begins, it feels different; like Dahmer’s whole demeanor changed somehow. It starts out with Dahmer being encouraged to put on his signature show, but as he is introduced to the group of students acting as the audience, he corrects Derf for the first time. “I now present to you, Jeff,” Derf says. “Jeffrey,” says Dahmer. Since Dahmer went by “Jeff” for the entirety of the movie up until this moment, the audience is immediately notified to the fact that this scene will be a turning point in Dahmer’s personality and mindset. What starts out as Dahmer pulling a prank and simply having fun quickly turns into a depressing scene as his act goes on for a little too long. He is seen scaring people while stone-faced, trying to gain attention, but never being reprimanded. He runs his hands through his hair in desperation and starts to disconnect from reality. “And so it went on for the next two hours,” writes Derf, “Mall security never caught on.” This is the moment that someone should have noticed and said something. But no one did. Despite this, Derf admits to taking some notice to this odd behavior, and he describes what he felt in the graphic novel. “It wasn’t as much fun as I anticipated,” Derf writes, “In fact, it creeped me out.” While Derf hasn’t voiced any regret in not noticing the signs of Dahmer’s decline, there is one detail from real life, the book and the movie that really stands out as a clear indicator of Dahmer’s psychosis. He had a shed in the woods near his house where he dissolved dead animals’ carcasses in acid. This was a known hobby of Dahmer’s and his father believed it to solely be an interest in science. Dahmer had a fascination with biology and how the organs functioned, and he truly had no idea why. However, the extremism of dissolving roadkill in the woods should have been an identifiable reason to start monitoring his behavior. The scene from the book, movie and real life that fully captures the essence of Jeffrey Dahmer’s struggle with compulsion is when he and his friends go fishing. Derf, Mike, Neil and Dahmer are all having a fun time fishing in the lake near one of their houses. One of the three friends instructs everyone that if they catch a fish, they should throw it back into the water. Dahmer catches a fish and everyone is super excited, so Derf tells him to just unhook it and throw it back in. Instead, Dahmer pulls out a knife and repeatedly stabs and dismembers the fish. When his friends show appalled expressions and ask him why he did it, his response is what truly encompasses the decline of Jeffrey Dahmer. “I just wanted to see what its insides looked like.” This emphasizes the fact that Dahmer displayed clear warning signs of what he would become, and that, still, no one took the chance to get him the help that he needed. In America today it should be possible to identify warning signs like these in people who commit violent crimes, such as school shooters. They are commonly students who are or were bullied, or students that come from broken homes. Society today must learn from Jeffrey Dahmer’s story in order to prevent as many future homicides as possible. Note- This is not part of the article, but I just found it necessary to include some information on my views on the details of the article I wrote above: I also do not consider any of Dahmer’s hardships as any sort of justification for the disgusting crimes that he committed later in life. As Derf Backderf put it, “Pity him, but don’t empathize with him."

Actual rating: 3.5 stars This graphic novel is wildly interesting, a true-crime memoir type story that is completely different from what else is out there. Rather than a non-fiction telling of the crimes and conviction of Dahmer, this is a story told by someone who was a high-school "friend" with Dahmer, before all the tragedy took place. While I wasn't the biggest fan of the art, the story itself intrigued me throughout. I am interested in looking for the film adaption of this unique story as well in the near future.

Chilling and thought-provoking graphic novel written by one of Jeffrey Dahmer's high school classmates. Backderf's diligent research and wonderful drawing help give a hint of sympathy for the otherwise demonized Dahmer. In high school, admitted by Dahmer himself in a psychological interview, he had a chance of normalcy despite his odd sexual fetishes that would later turn him into a monster. Backderf does sort of 'explain away' any responsibility from himself or the other 'kids' who knew Dahmer and noticed some odd behaviour that could have been reported. Instead he places a blame strictly on the many adults who could and in Backderf's opinion should have noticed something was wrong with Dahmer.

Do you know the trope of the unknowing neighbor? He was always such a nice boy, how could he do such horrible things. This book is from the perspective of that neighbor, albeit one who did have some idea, some inkling in his chest, that this was someone to stay away from. My Friend Dahmer, in my opinion, is chiefly about guilt. The guilt of Derf and his friends or acquaintances that they didn't notice anything was wrong and that they didn't speak up and get him help, and Dahmer's own guilt that he couldn't control his urges. What makes the book stick out to me is that Dahmer wasn't bullied or abused any more than any other kid, and while his home life was bad, it wasn't the kind of home that one would think would produce a sadistic serial killer. Maybe a best-selling memoir, but not a killer as depraved as Jeffrey Dahmer. One of the things My Friend Dahmer makes abundantly clear, and something I deeply appreciate, is that the talk of "saving Dahmer" in this book is not about saving Dahmer, but saving his victims, to the point where the book openly states that Dahmer should have shot himself after killing his first victim, because at that point he was beyond redemption. That's a perspective I agree with. I don't really mourn the person Dahmer could have been, or care about it at all, but I do care about the men he killed, because they did nothing. In my opinion, though, the only way Dahmer could have been saved is if he spent the rest of his life medicated up to his eyeballs- an awful way to live, but better than the life he ended up having. The number one complaint I hear about this book is the art style- reviewers find it strange, off-putting, uncomfortable, and straight-up ugly. Well, they're right. It's all of those things to me, too, but like a fungus, it grew on me. I think I appreciate the art more than I liked it. This is, after all, an underground comic adapted to the mainstream- even the name of the author, Derf Backderf, sounds like the name of an underground comic book maker. And you know what, it fits the subject matter. Both the man himself and the art style are ugly and uncomfortable. So why three stars? Because I don't really like graphic novels- too often I feel as if they tell incomplete stories with the exception of Maus, of course. And this book did feel incomplete, though I couldn't give you ideas as to how to make it longer. I'm coming to terms with the fact that graphic novels just aren't really a medium I enjoy- they leave me hungry for more. And My Friend Dahmer certainly left me wanting more- I would say hungry, but that's a little too morbid even for me.