Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl

hot, gender-bent, erotic romance novel with a magical realist foundation that i found beautiful and affirming to read. a great book for all the genderfucky bisexuals out there. the backdrop of 90s queer culture is evocative and transportative, taking me to a time and place i wish i'd been around to experience myself. structurally the book is pretty aimless but this is of course a deliberate choice that suits the novel's protagonist

a true romp

3.75-4, to clarify. This was about as satisfying as a story about a shape-shifting human can be without ever answering the central question of how Paul and his counterpart are able to change the form of their bodies. But who really cares, I guess? Instead Lawlor tells a fairly gripping coming of age/coming of gender/coming of sexuality/coming of…coming, I guess, story wherein the mutability of Paul’s body conflicts with his youthful confidence that he knows without a doubt what makes a man or woman a “real” man or woman, what makes a person gay or bi or straight or human. Even when he physically embodies a woman for months at a time Lawlor refers to Paul/Polly as “him,” Paul’s ever-shifting nature encouraging the reader to both divorce themselves from whatever norms they’re used to and lose themselves in the story. Lawlor shows significant maturity as a writer, doing a remarkable job of drawing out a character that could easily have been overshadowed by their supernatural nature. Paul is well-drawn as an uncertain, wanderlust-filled youngster who is vulnerable and, at times, a somewhat odious person. The 90s setting allows Lawlor to soak the novel in the riot grrl/punk/art rock culture of the day that they clearly love, and the AIDS epidemic casts an admittedly predictable (but still impactful) pall when needed. The ending was not as satisfying as I might have wanted, but I’m a dumb old romantic at heart. Other reviews seem to harp on the overt sexuality pervasive throughout the novel. You need to have some spice in your recipe, and I’ll admit there’s a whole lot of paprika in this one. But it is far from pointless, as some reviewers suggest; if you could embody whatever bodily form you wanted it may be only natural to explore every possibility available. Paul’s promiscuity also serves to underscore the weight of his emerging feelings when forms/recalls his more meaningful relationships. Plus: there’s nothing wrong with a book being horny! Normalize horny lit that isn’t embarrassing or badly done! All in all, pretty perplexing but also pretty satisfying. I haven’t had this many thoughts in a review in a long time!

** spoiler alert ** When I bought this book, I was really excited about it because I expected to feel connected to the characters, to feel connected to their trauma and their stories and their relationships with people. I didn’t really feel like that with Paul though, and the entire time i read through his journey of being a miserable, messy, irresponsible individual that honestly sucks at being a friend to a miserable, messy, irresponsible individual that still sucks at being a friend but has a boyfriend? I felt like I witnessed very little character development and the entire story just kind of felt all over the place. I’m not really sure what the point of this book was or what I was supposed to feel while reading it, because even though he briefly addressed his condition with Robin, he didn’t seem to learn any more about himself or like…the book didn’t feel like it had a conclusive ending? It just confused me- all I can say is that it was well written in terms of detail, though the story did not live up to my expectations.

I want to give it 5 stars because I think the idea and execution of the point and understanding of gender and generally the way the novel played with the construct was really visceral and thought provoking at times but I didn’t find myself as hooked into the story as much as I wanted to be, still a really great queer read

3.5

i really need to read more queer stuff - this was exhilarating. do some ppl really just know no straight people?

A book about a non-binary shapeshifter that I really wanted to love, but couldn’t. For a book that is supposedly about pleasure and queerness and being non-binary, it certainly liked to look at things through a binary lens. I think I was most disappointed by how obviously it still relies on the male gaze, especially when talking about butch women. Saying that all women, “really long to wear a cheerleading uniform” isn’t the flex you think it is. Men are the center of the story. Women are objects- sometimes hot and unattainable and mysterious, other times broad shouldered and always there but easy to cheat on and never really get to know. It’s just another iteration of the virgin/whore, Mary/Mary Magdalene dichotomy. If the misogyny was an attempt to build an unlikeable narrator, fine. I typically enjoy unlikable narrators. It was not done well here. There were some lovely descriptions of gender euphoria. But this was not for me.

So the only thing stopping me from really liking this book as opposed to just liking it are some of the sex scenes, as they're described in graphic detail and some of them are just nasty (and not in a good way, lol). That said, the worst ones are in the first quarter of the book so if you can make it past the 25% mark then I think you'll be glad you did. The writing is good, the concept is clever, and the story and protagonist are both engaging. I devoured this book, or at least the last three quarters, in 3 sittings. In short, a great queer coming-of-age story, with some magical realism thrown in.

4.5 LOVED the main story but the short stories in between distracted me a little bit