Name: The Shotgun Arcana
ISBN: 9780765374585

R. S. Belcher

In a fantastical, steampunk version of the 1870 Wild West, Sheriff Jon Highfather must deal with an army of 32 outlaws, lunatics, serial killers and cannibals converging on the town of Golgotha, Nevada, all drawn by a grisly relic that dates back to the Donner Party—and the dawn of humanity. By the author of The Six-Gun Tarot.

The Shotgun Arcana

R. S. Belcher's debut novel, The Six-Gun Tarot, was enthusiastically greeted by critics and readers, who praised its wildly inventive mixture of dark fantasy, steampunk, and the Wild West. Now Belcher returns to Golgotha, Nevada, a bustling frontier town that hides more than its fair share of unnatural secrets. 1870. A haven for the blessed and the damned, including a fallen angel, a mad scientist, a pirate queen, and a deputy who is kin to coyotes, Golgotha has come through many nightmarish trials, but now an army of thirty-two outlaws, lunatics, serial killers, and cannibals are converging on the town, drawn by a grisly relic that dates back to the Donner Party...and the dawn of humanity. Sheriff Jon Highfather and his deputies already have their hands full dealing with train robbers, a mysterious series of brutal murders, and the usual outbreaks of weirdness. But with thirty-two of the most vicious killers on Earth riding into Golgotha in just a few day's time, the town and its people will be tested as never before—and some of them will never be the same. The Shotgun Arcana is even more spectacularly ambitious and imaginative than The Six-Gun Tarot, and confirms R. S. Belcher's status as a rising star. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Sarah Escorsa

⚠️ A message from Sarah-From-the-Future: I just finished writing this crappy non-review and it’s much much much longer than I intended. You’re welcome and stuff.

Actual rating: 4.764586 stars. Or maybe 3.25413 stars. Or maybe 4.435697 stars. Or maybe 3.9586489897 stars (and a half). Or maybe 4.9999999 stars. ). Or maybe 3.11111111 stars. Slightly very confused I am right now. 



Yeah, more or less.

To understand this most uncharacteristic discombobulation backtrack we must. So. While I was reading this book, I was somewhat quite lusciously excited about it. It was MUCH faster paced and WAY MORE action-packed than The Six-Gun Tarot, the first book in this series. There weren’t as very bloody too many alternate POVs, so the plot didn’t feel as diluted as it did in book 1 (and thank fish for that). Also, there was a shrimpload of wonderfully dark stuff, splendidly charming (if a little cannibalistic) shenanigans, and delicious sense of impending doom. So YUM I say. 

Not to mention that the world Belcher created is Super Extra Rich and one of the most original I’ve come across in a bloody shrimping long time. Then there’s the most refreshingly diverse cast of characters. Which happens to feature one of the most shrimpaliciously stunning array of kick-ass female characters in the history of shrimpaliciously stunning arrays of kick-ass female characters *waves at Craig Schaefer* And which also happens to feature two of the less allergy-inducing teenagers in the history of the less allergy-inducing teenagers *waves at Ilona Andrews* I kid you not.

So. All of the above obviously made me feel a little like this:



BUT. One of the things that bug the fish out of me when it comes to this book is that Belcher suffers from Indestructible Hero-itis (yes, that is a word). While he is quite happy to kill the bad guys deadly dead and have them suffer somewhat horribly in the process (and thank thee very much for that), he seems incapable of disposing of ANY of the good guys in the same, wonderfully despicable way. It’s as if his characters were all Wonder Women and Supermen *starts convulsing*. They’re always the fastest, the strongest, the bestest and the cleverest. They get their lovely derrieres kicked once in a while, but you just know that they’ll survive no matter what, even when in the direst of situations. (Like when Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler—not the character’s real name—spoilered spoilered spoilered after their fight with Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler—not the character’s real name either–and spoilered spoilered spoilered for a bit after that.) And that’s boring as fish, if you ask me. Not to mention unrealistic as shrimp. I’m not asking Belcher to kill everyone dead, but his cast is so extensive that he could afford skewering a few of them to death (and maybe even chopping them into tiny little pieces) *waves at Auggie*. That would make the whole thing much more exciting, methinks. So. Down the rating goes. 

BUT. I gave this ↑↑ some thought (yes, it hurt), and realized that some of my favorite series suffer from the same revolting No One Dies Affliction (albeit on a MUCH SMALLER scale). So I thought I should cut Belcher some slack (because I can be disgustingly understanding like that). So. Up the rating goes. Yay and stuff.



BUT. Then I realized that one of the other things that bugs the fish out of me here is that there doesn’t seem to be an overarching arc for this series. Or any sense of direction whatsoever. So you have no bloody shrimping idea where Belcher is taking his series. If anywhere at all. Yes, every instalment has its pretty basic, good vs. evil own plot, but that’s it. And while I love reading about Golgotha and its most titillatingly colourful population, the apparent lack of series arc makes it all feel kinda sorta pointless and stuff. So. Down the rating goes. (view spoiler)[
  

  

  
  

  

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BUT. Then I gave this ↑↑ some thought *excruciating pain intensifies*, and realized that some of my favorite series suffer from the same revolting No Apparent Arc at First Affliction (only that said series did evolve in some way or other, unlike Golgotha, where things seem to be as irremediably stuck as a clueless barnacle on its ridiculously hard substrate). So I thought I should cut Belcher some slack (because I can be disgustingly understanding like that). So. Up the rating goes. Yay and stuff again. Sorry, what? This paragraph feels like it was shamelessly copied from up there ↑↑ and copied down →here←, you say? I have no idea what you’re talking about. Go home, you’re obviously quite drunk, my Tiny Decapods.

BUT. Then I realized that one of the other, other things that bugs the fish out of me here is that this is a 399 page book that feels like a bloody shrimping door stopper. I have no bloody idea why, especially since it’s action-packed and pretty fast-paced and stuff. Because the writing is kinda sorta dense, mayhap? Who the fish knows? This is and forever shall be one of the greatest mysteries of our times, methinks. Anyhoo and stuff. Down the rating goes.

BUT. Then I had to stop thinking about this book for a while because I was starting to feel a teensy little bit like this:



And that’s when I had a To Bloody Shrimping Hell of the Stinking Fish Moment (TBSHotSFM™). And realized I really did enjoy reading the squid out of this book a whole big lot, despite its many weaknesses. So why the krill should I lower my rating? Sometimes you like a book against your wrong better judgement, and maybe perhaps it's better to just go with the nefarious flow and savor the scrumpalicious vibes, instead of giving your two ever-decaying grey cells the headache of the century while trying to find reasons to lessen your initial, most joyously frolicsome enjoyment of the story. Also: Western + Fantasy = YUM. And that, my Jocund Arthropods, is a scientifically proven fact.

➽ Nefarious Last Words (NLW™): before reading this book, I thought that angels were assholes. Hahahahahahahaha. How delightfully naïve of me. It’s much much much MUCH worse than that! And I 💕 lurves 💕 it. Obviously.

Note to self: buy an iron skillet post haste. They are much more efficient than cleavers when it comes chopping little heads off and stuff. 

👋 To be continued and stuff.

· Book 1: The Six-Gun Tarot ★★★
· Book 3: The Queen of Swords ★★



Pre-review nonsense

Well color me bloody shrimping surprised. This was Slightly Fishing Very Good (SFVG™) and stuff. Deliciously dark, exquisitely gory. With a most scrumptious cast of characters, complete with wonderfully sadistic villainous villains, yummiliciously kidnapable sheriffs (Poof! Gone! Harem!) and one of the mostest gloriousest magnificentest bunch of kick ass female characters ever (Poof! Gone! Harem! Again!). And what do we do now? We dance, obviously.



And then we dance again, for good measure and stuff.



Full review to come and stuff.