Axie Oh

Living safe and anonymous after the Battle of Neo Seoul, telepath Ama does not expect to be approached by a resistance group to help expose a government experiment similar to the one she successfully fled. Once she accepts, however, her assignments get more dangerous until she finds herself manipulating the mind of the boy she once loved and was betrayed by, so she can unseat him as commander of the Alliance.

Rogue Heart

fc ♡

Here in the lounge, I can see their minds like stars in the night sky—TingTing’s bright with joy for me, Alex’s burning with love, and in the vast darkness, a muted yet constant star seated in the corner.

“What would I give to have half your enjoyment of things?”

I look down the counter to where Alex leans against the bar. He looks handsome in a black coat and jeans with his hair swept back, still wet from the snow. I realize I’ve never seen him in casual clothing before, only in uniforms or suits. He looks wonderful. I hide my admiration by taking a sip of champagne. His eyes follow the motion. “You should get a drink yourself,” I say.

“If you kids are finished flirting,” the bartender says, “I believe the lady has a song to sing.” 

Alex closes the distance between us. “You look beautiful.” He places a kiss on my cheek. “I’ve missed you."

I return Alex’s kiss. “I missed you too.” I pay for his drink and reach for my glass. “Sit where I can see you.” 

He nods at a table right in front of the stage with a single chair and bouquet of yellow roses. 

For the second time in a week, I find Tsuko on an island. I’m relieved to find no visible wounds on him, though his eyes are closed and his head rests gently against the trunk of a palm tree. He looks up at my approach. “Ama.”

He shakes his head slowly. “I’m tired, Ama. Let me rest for a bit.” 

“Alex is in danger.” He scowls. “That woke you up.”

 “What do you want from me?” He blinks against the sunlight. “If you hadn’t noticed, my GM is at the bottom of the Pacific.”

“You’d trust me not to just leave the battlefield?”

 “I would,” I say. “But don’t worry, you won’t be tested. I’m going to go with you.”

 Tsuko’s eyes narrow with suspicion, but he relents and follows me to the GM. 

"I love you, but more than that, I trust you.”

He gently takes my face in his hand, his thumb brushing over the arc of my cheek. “The difference between you and me, besides the obvious, is that I don’t care if a person has a world inside them. I don’t care about the stranger on the street, or even my own father. I don’t give a damn. My heart aches only for you.” 

Alex kisses me as if he wants to have a hundred thousand tomorrows, and for tonight, it’s enough.

A few seconds later, Alex’s arm circles around me. I lean back into his embrace. We stand like that, gazing out as the sun sets over the mountains.

" I don’t blame him or you.” His hand tightens on my waist, and I turn to face him. “He might not be a brother to me, not yet, but I’m willing to try.”

 I wrap my arms around his neck. “I’m so glad to hear that, because he is like a brother to me.” 

“You should tell him that,” Alex mutters. 

Tera and Jaewon sitting alone at the long conference table, their shadowy forms illuminated by the last rays of the setting sun. They sit on the same side, their chairs turned to face each other, Jaewon’s knees on either side of Tera’s.  

I watch as Tera presses her hands to her face. “I just—I just don’t want her to get hurt.”

 When Jaewon doesn’t respond, Tera frowns. “You’re not going to say anything? Usually this is the moment when you say one of your Jaewon-isms that are more annoying than wise.”

 Jaewon leans forward slightly, brushing aside a stray hair that had fallen across Tera’s cheek. “Not tonight. I don’t really have any insight. She’s your sister. I just want you to be happy, so I’ll listen and accept whatever decision you make.” 

There’s a pause. “You’re doing it again!”

Jaewon laughs, the sound open and light. The shadows make it so I can’t see Tera’s expression, but I can feel her mind grow warm, filled with bright, luminous colors—yellow, pink, and red. She leans in for a kiss.  

I clear my throat. In a moment, Tera is out of the chair and in front of me. I blink at the sudden movement. “You could give someone whiplash.”

 Jaewon laughs. “Welcome to my world.”

"You promised you’d cooperate if I allowed you to speak to Ama.” 

I can see the struggle playing out on Alex’s face as his gaze moves from Shun to me, deciding whether his jealousy is worth breaking a promise.

 “Alex,” I say, “I’ll come find you later.” 

This seems to placate him, and the tension drains from his shoulders.

 “Follow me,” Jaewon says. Alex hesitates, as if deciding something. Then, reaching out with one hand, he tugs me toward him and presses a kiss to my lips, quick but firm. He releases me and strides back toward the elevator alongside Jaewon.

 Beet red, I turn to find Shiori and Shun gaping at me. 

Tera sputters. “That’s not— ” She scowls. “I don’t want anything!” Jaewon chokes with laughter he attempts to hide with a cough.

Tera stands to the side, biting her lip, clearly jealous. Jaewon smiles ruefully, now looking sympathetic. I catch Helen’s eye, and she smirks, and I realize she’s fully aware of the stir she’s causing. 

“Ama,” a low, flirtatious voice interjects. Shun steps forward with a grin. “I guess the wedding’s called off.” I’d almost forgotten about our covers. 

He adds, with a wink, “Too bad I can’t claim you brainwashed me.” 

I fear Jaewon will perish from laughter. 

Suddenly Alex is there, inserting his body between Shun and me. “That’s right,” he says, his voice at its most arrogant. “Part of your cover was that you were engaged. So this is the fiancé? You could do better.” 

Shun arches a brow. “Why aren’t you in a cell somewhere?”

 Jaewon looks around, eager. “Who’s my counterpart?” He points at Shiori, who’s been watching the proceedings with a gleeful expression. “You?"

"Wait.” Alex reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a silk handkerchief. “Here.” 

We both stare at the piece of cloth, suspended in the air between us. 

“You’ve been kidnapped, you’re a prisoner in an enemy encampment, and you have a handkerchief.”

 Alex frowns. “It’s mulberry silk.” 

“We thought of taking it off him,” a cheerful voice says from behind us, “but we allowed him some dignity.”

 I look up to see Lee Jaewon approaching with a wide grin on his face. I jump to my feet, and his smile softens. “It’s good to see you, Ama.”

"My love for you will always be flawed. I’m jealous. I’m insecure. I’m selfish. I need you more than you’ll ever need me. I know you have powers. But trust my word on this; trust me who is telling you now. I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you.”

With his good arm, he helps me to the stone bench. There isn’t enough room to sit side by side, so he kneels before me, his bad arm resting on his knee.

“No. I think you’ll want to be sitting for what I’m about to say.” I bite my lip, nervous. 

He looks away. The hand that rests on the bench beside me is curled in a fist. I gently cover it with my own, and he relents, interlocking our fingers. 

 He brings our joined hands to his lips. “When I think of angels, I think of creatures that are flawless and untouchable. I don’t think you’re flawless. I don’t put you on some damn pedestal. And I clearly don’t think you’re untouchable.” 

"You were forbidden, and therefore, I had to have you.”

 I listen to his confession, hardly breathing.

 “But you were nothing like I thought you’d be. More significantly, my reaction to you was unexpected. When I was with you, I felt joy. When we were apart, I longed for you. But most incredible to me was that when we were together, the noises in my mind were quiet. I don’t think it was because of your powers. I think it was because I felt safe with you, in my mind and in my heart.”

 I squeeze his hands, feeling safe in my heart, if not wholly in my mind—not yet.

I am sorry for the grievous wound I’ve dealt you. I should have never taken this mission knowing you were involved, knowing how I felt about you, knowing how you once might have felt about me . . .” 

 Alex’s eyes narrow slightly, though he doesn’t speak.

 I push on. “The truth is, though I was sent to your base as a spy, I had my own agenda. I won’t deny it! I wanted to see you again, to prove to myself that you once loved me, that you regretted having betrayed me. And witnessing you in pain, I felt satisfaction. A sliver of it—but enough!”

 “Ama,” Alex says slowly, unbelievably, “I don’t care.” 

“You don’t understand!” I shout. “I wanted to hurt you! I wanted to hurt you for hurting me!”

 In three long strides, Alex closes the distance between us, his good arm circling me. Then his mouth is on mine, and he kisses me as if the echo of my confession rings in his ears.  

He breaks the kiss, only to lift one hand to cradle my face, his thumb reverently brushing the curve of my cheek. “There’s nothing to forgive. You’re alive. That’s all that matters to me.”

I bask in his words and attention, then frown when I realize what he’s saying. “It doesn’t matter to you that I hurt you on purpose?” 

“First, I don’t think you did. I think circumstances as they were might have led to some pain on my end, but you didn’t actively think up plans to make me suffer. And second . . . ” He shrugs. “Even if you did, I wouldn’t care. That just shows me that you give a damn.”  

“Alex,” I say softly, “people who love you shouldn’t want to hurt you.”  

I slide toward the gaping window of broken glass.

  “Jangmi!” Alex catches my hand. I’m dangling outside the window, blood slipping down my wrist where I cut myself on the glass.  On Alex’s face is a powerful range of emotions—pain, anger, and fear.  Another groan and the room shifts even more. The veins in Alex’s good arm are taut, straining to hold on to me. He’s balanced, one foot on the sill, one foot on the pane of glass that had shattered with the bomb. Cracks in the glass begin to form. It won’t hold beneath our combined weight.

  “Alex!” I shout. “You need to let go or we’ll both fall!”

"I won’t abandon you!” There’s real terror in his voice. “There has to be a way,” he says, looking around desperately.

 I don’t want to give up either, but I can see no other options. It’s either I die or we both die.

Alex must see my determination because he cries, panicked. “Don’t, Jangmi!” 

Alex sneers. “Have you woken up, or have you given up?”

  Tsuko’s eyes narrow. “You’re one to speak.”

She never belonged in the project. Tera and I, we were soldiers. We understood our purpose—to fight, to kill. Not her. She was good. She was kind. Her dreams were always bright and warm. I could feel them when she was nearby. For someone like me, who always lived in darkness, she was like the sun.” 

I press a hand to my mouth, tears slipping down my cheeks. I never knew.

"And then you came.” Tsuko’s eyes go hard, his voice bitter. “And she invited you into her beautiful dream, and what did you do? You destroyed it. You tore it apart and left her drowning in a nightmare.” 

Tsuko raises his hand, moving with an inhuman speed. “Su, no!” I scream. At the last moment, he pulls back his strength, and a blow that would have killed Alex only knocks him unconscious.

I stare at Tsuko. “You were provoking him on purpose?” 

 He says, deadpan, “I don’t need powers to mess with his mind.” 

“Are you— ” I gape at him. “Are you joking?”

"You’re awake,” Alex says. “I should have aimed higher.”

 “Did I hear that correctly?” Tsuko says, ignoring him, his eyes still trained on me. “The bomb outside the medical facility will be defused?” 

“Don’t worry,” Alex growls. “You’ll survive. Or perhaps I’ll move you to the barracks, and we’ll see how many lives an Enhanced soldier really has.” 

Tsuko’s gaze remains on me. “For me, many, but not for all.”  

Alex frowns. “Why do you keep looking at her?”

 For a moment, Tsuko says nothing, confusion coloring his thoughts. Then I watch as he puts everything together—the fact that Alex hasn’t called me by name, that I’ve stood silent throughout this encounter, as if I don’t know Tsuko, as if Alex doesn’t know me. 

Abruptly, the memory switches to a dream, of a hospital room and a girl sitting beside him. Ama. The storm in his mind breaks, and I blink, looking up into eyes that are filled with longing, but not for me. “Are you in love with me, Jangmi-ssi?” he asks. 

“Then it’s just lust,” he says. “That’s better. Less messy.” His voice is empty, without emotion. “If you agree to it, I’d like to start a relationship, purely physical. Unless a torrid affair isn’t your style.” 

A sharp pain lances through my heart. I gasp and almost choke on it. “I hate you.”

Alex steps out, and a medic hurries forward to assist him. I witness the truth that Alex has tried so painstakingly to hide: he collapses on the medic’s shoulder, leaning on him for support. 

"If you were alive,” Alex says slowly, “I would search for you. I wouldn’t give up until I found you.” 

“And what would you do once you found me? In a world so far removed from battles and glory, where I was content and happy—what would you do then?” 

Alex scowls. “I know how to row a boat.”

 I can’t help it. I burst out laughing. Alex blinks, stunned. Then he shakes his head, laughing softly. I haven’t heard him laugh in so long, not like this. It makes me want to cry again. His hand tightens on my own. 

 His eyes blink sleepily. A beep on his monitor indicates his fever is receding. The IV must be on a timer to inject medication into his system.  “I think you’re the one who is leaving,” I say with a sad smile. 

 “I don’t want this dream to be over,” he says, slurring his words. His eyes close. “I miss you, Ama.” 

“I miss you too,” I say. A few minutes later, I lean across the bed and kiss his fevered lips. “I miss you even now.”

Sometimes I would wake in the night to find Alex sleeping in a chair beside me, his head pillowed on my leg, his hand grasping mine. What would he be dreaming about that would make him hold on to me so tightly? 

 Like then, I have an urge to reach out and press my fingers against the crease between his brows. 

Alex’s eyes flicker, then open. He says, his voice like broken glass, “Ama.” For a moment I can’t breathe.  “Are you haunting me?” On the monitor, his temperature has risen another degree. His fever must have broken through the illusion. He sees the real me, but he isn’t aware, caught as he is in a fever dream.  

soaking a cloth in the cool liquid, I bring it to his forehead. A beep on the monitor signals a jump in his heart rate. It must be strange, to feel the touch of a ghost. He reaches up and wraps his hand around my wrist. “If you are, don’t stop.”

I can’t hold back the tears that trail down my cheeks.

 “You were the loveliest girl I’d ever seen,” Alex says quietly. “I wanted to believe that’s all you were to me.”

"No,” I say truthfully. “I believe you cared for me.”

“Alex,” I say, placing the cloth on the bed and taking his hand in my own, “I forgive you. You were faced with an impossible choice. I don’t blame you for making the one you thought best in the moment.” 

“My choice led to your death.” In his eyes, I see a mixture of feelings—guilt, pain, and regret. This is what he can’t forgive himself for, not his choice, but the consequences of his choice—

“Is that what this is?” I laugh harshly. “One last hurrah? One last kiss goodbye?”  

His eyes immediately flit to my lips. A shiver races down my back. 

“That’s all this is. It’s enough for other soldiers; why isn’t it enough for me? Because I loved a girl once, in another life? Well, she’s gone now. You can’t kiss a ghost.”  He reaches out, his strong arm circling my waist, his hands at the curve of my back, pressing me gently, inexorably closer. My arms curve around his neck, as if by memory. Because I remember this. I remember him. My body trills with anticipation.  

“You can’t hold them,” he whispers, his mouth against my neck, trailing searing kisses from my throat to my jaw. “You can’t feel their warmth, their breath. All you can do is find someone to distract you from the pain until there is no past, no future, just a present that swallows you whole.” 

And then his mouth is on mine, and I catch a glimmer of what it must feel like for him, because in this moment all I want is to give in to this desire, to forget the mission, the battle, the project, the war; to forget the hurt he’s caused me and the hurt I’ll cause him in the end. 

 He smells like smoke and the night air. He tastes like liquor, tobacco, and mint. I return each of his kisses with as much fervor, lust, and need, my hands sliding through his thick hair, his hands pulling up my uniform shirt to graze the bare skin of my stomach.

  I gasp at the contact. And strange, but my eyes are wet. All day I haven’t cried, and yet I can’t stop the tears that slide down my heated cheeks. Because I remember this. I remember him—the way he used to kiss me with care and wonder, as if each moment with me was not the last, but one of many in the long chain of our future. He had hope in us, in me. He had dreams of tomorrow.  

He kisses me as if it’s the last kiss he’ll ever have, and I can’t bear it. I stumble back, and he lets me go, though he watches me with a pained expression, his eyes red, his lips raw. “Go,” he says.  

Alex turns to look at her, unflinching, his black eyes seething with an unnamable emotion. “Desperately"

all my attention is on Alex. Slowly he lifts the cigarette to his lips, his eyes never leaving mine. With his other hand, he reaches into his pocket for a lighter, bringing it to my ear. I hear the sharp snap of the spark wheel and the sudden heat of a flame. Out of pride, I don’t blink, though my heart flutters wildly. He’s the first to break our gazes, his eyes downcast as he brings the flame to the end of his cigarette, lighting it. 

 I’ve only been inside a limo once before, on my first and only date, ironically with the boy sitting next to me. Though perhaps boy is not the right word for the man he’s become. Military training has changed his body in small yet significant ways. Ways I’m becoming even more infinitely aware of as the limo moves onto the uneven cement-paved roads. My shoulder taps his arm, my knee his thigh, every point of contact a bloom of heat against my skin. He places the cap from his uniform upon his leg only for a bump in the road to tip it into my lap. I hold my breath as he slowly reaches out to remove it. 

“I chose you for the same reason Alex chose me.”

 “Because I reminded him of someone he once knew.” Giwoo takes a seat on the couch, spreading out his long legs.

 “Alex lives in the past. To him, sometimes it’s more real than the present.”

In order to win, I must get close to you. In order to win, I must destroy you. 

Is it a betrayal if he was the one who betrayed me first?

Rogue Heart

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