Ego Is the Enemy

It's so refreshing to see a perspective that doesn't romanticized ambition and narcissism. Too many, I mean too many self-help books or 'success' books that told you to claim all, be all, and be confident even when you don't.

"It's a temptation that exists for everyone- for talk and hype to replace action. Blank spaces, begging to be filled with thoughts, with photos, with stories. With what we're going to do, with what things should or could be like, what we hope will happen. Technology, asking you, prodding you, soliciting talk. "(24) " We don't like thinking that someone is better than us. or that we have a lot left to learn. We want to be done. We want to be ready. For this reason, updating your appraisal of your talents in a downward direction is one of the most difficult things to do in life- but it is almost always a component of mastery. The pretense of knowledge is our most dangerous vice, because it prevents us from getting any better." " It tends to surprise people how humble aspiring greats seem to have been. What do you mean they weren't aggressive, entitled, aware of their own greatness or their destiny? The reality is that, though they were confident, the act of being an external student kept these men and women humble."(41) " It's a common attitude that transcends generations and societies. The angry, unappreciated genius is forced to do stuff she doesn't like, for people she doesn't respect, as she makes her way in the world. "(52) " It doesn't matter how talented you are, how great your connections are, how much money you have. When you want to do something- something big and important and meaningful- you will be subjected to treatment ranging from indifference to outright sabotage."(63) "Make it so you don't have to fake it- that's the key. Everytime you sit down to work, remind yourself: I am delaying gratification by doing this. I am making an investment in myself instead of my ego."(83) "Each of us faces a threat as we pursue our craft. Like sirens on the rocks, ego sings a soothing, validating song- which can lead to a wreck. The second we let the ego tell us we have graduated, ;earning grinds to a halt. The solution is as straightforward as it is initially uncomfortable: Pick up a book on a topic you know next to nothing about. Put yourself in rooms where you're the least knowledgeable person. That uncomfortable feeling, that defensiveness that you feel when your most deeply held assumptions are challenged- what about subjecting yourself to it deliberately?"(105) "That it's admirable to want to be better businessmen or businesswomen, better athletes, better conquerors. But no less impressive an accomplishment: being better people, being happier people, being balanced people, being content people, being humble and selfless people. And what is most obvious but most ignored is that perfecting the personal regularly leads to success as a professional, but rarely the other way around. "(216)

(3.5)

Very poorly written, looks like a collection of blog posts. Too repetitive without any substance. No research whatsoever, just a collection of stories with a little meaning. Classic case of self-help book that helps only the author’s bank balance. Author tried to explain Stoic philosophy with a hint of Zen Buddhism. I gave this book a second star for going in the right direction. The problem - it does not add anything to the original.

This book is for Donald Trump or Elon Musk, not for us „normal“ people. My grandma could tell me the quintessence in on of her old saws. Thanks for wasting my time.

While there were some interesting ideas put forward in this book, some of the examples felt quite hyperbolic and seemed to undermine the argument itself.

Had a lot of interesting stories and POV. I did really appreciate Ryan’s notions on ego.

pretty lacklustre book. seems like just another modern-day repackaging of stoicism, which wouldn't be a bad thing if it actually contributed something new and original I never finished the book tho so if I'm wrong let me know

I really enjoyed read this book, the author is very clear and is very easy to read and understand what he’s trying to communicate, I hope to apply this to my life!

Love the hints on some important perspectives to avoid having a too big ego.

It’s not common to think about the consequences of “the quest for success” and this book paints it beautifully through the ego canvas. It’s got an interesting framework to understand the impact it has and the forms the ego takes throughout our lives. I would just love to have something else as closure outside the main framework, it’s like a chapter or two are missing for it to feel “complete”. It’s a nice read though.

I loved Stillness is the Key. But this book sucked! I thought I’d learn some valuable insights on humility and value of controlling ego. I couldn’t finish it honestly…

Yeah, solid, I'll be reading this again. Super rich in content and real life examples. It's a good way to get a deeper, slightly more long form, hit if you're into the Daily Stoic.

Agree with this although because of my not so high self-confidence. Nonetheless it is gold words: “We can be sure of a few fundamental realities: 1) You are not nearly as good or as important as you think you are 2) You have an attitude that needs to be re-adjusted 3) Most of what you think you know or most of what you’ve learned in books or in school is out of date or wrong”

I was gonna go with 3 stars, as the first thirds of the book I didn't feel spoke to me at all. But then i devoured the last third. It got more down to earth for me and spoke to my current struggles.

Ryan Holiday puts forward a strong case on how self-awareness truly dictates our outcome, and an inflated ego can drive us into the ground. Examples are vast, and range from the mentality of UFC and football coaches, to modern and ancient military commanders. No matter who he references, you have, are, or will eventually go through the things he cites or warns about. I highly recommend this book.

"Imagine if for every person you met, you thought of some way to help them, something you could do for them? And you looked at it in a way that entirely benefited them and not you. The cumulative effect this would have over time would be profound: You’d learn a great deal by solving diverse problems. You’d develop a reputation for being indispensable. You’d have countless new relationships." At first glance, it can seem like this book is geared towards people who are already quite successful, or who dream of climbing some sort of ladder to get to that point — towards folks who are restlessly and relentlessly ambitious. Like Holiday himself. Is this just a series of admonitions to his own ego? But then you get a little deeper, and you realize this book is about more than just tamping down that "unhealthy belief in our own importance." It's really about finding out your purpose, and more importantly, the why behind that purpose. Is it ego driving your actions? Or something greater? "It’s time to sit down and think about what’s truly important to you and then take steps to forsake the rest." I've read a lot of Ryan's work over the years, and I think this is my favorite of the bunch. It's remarkably quotable, and is sure to make you ponder the direction of your projects and goals and life in general. Ego Is the Enemy definitely did that for me. What's truly important in my life? At the end of the day, what do I want to be remembered for? It's clear to me that the answer to those questions lies far more with the my family and my community than with making a name for myself. As Ryan so aptly writes near the end (and the quote that really stuck with me the most): "it’s admirable to want to be better businessmen or businesswomen, better athletes, better conquerors. We should want to be better informed, better off financially . . . We should want, as I’ve said a few times in this book, to do great things. I know that I do. But no less impressive an accomplishment: being better people, being happier people, being balanced people, being content people, being humble and selfless people. Or better yet, all of these traits together."

I’ve been reading the stoics and following Ryan’s work for years now, so I thought that this book was going to be a light read. It was not. But in a good way. I read this book slower than I usually read, stopping in every story to write about my own stories and learnings. I used this book almost as therapy to help me learn more from my aspirations, successes and failures in the past. Sometimes it was harder than I thought to admit and acknowledge my ego while reading this book, as ego fights back and it’s not pretty. But I guess I came out better after this read and I think that was what Ryan maybe intended after all. Love, be prepared and expect. adversity, learn from your mistakes and remember this all will pass and you will survive. This is all bigger than yourself. And for everything that comes next...ego is the enemy. Cheers again Ryan.

This book is good, it gives great examples of people who have set their ego aside and have accomplished great things because of it. It will also make you rethink yourself. I found it somewhat depressing because in some sense in order to not have an ego, you almost have to not enjoy anything. Either way, you will get some good things from this book and it is definitely worth the read.

RTC

I've enjoyed Ryan's previous work (The Obstacle is The Way). In fact i've read it during a tough time in my life, and It was an eye opener. Here I am again in a tough time again, this time I've read Ego is The Enemy and it is really the read the I've needed. This book gave me an insight on what Ego is, what tools it utilizes to stop us from achieving and how it slithers itself in our lives.

Wonderful book. One of those to keep and revisit!

Just finished the intro. Already amazed how ego is shaping my life and I thought working on ego is not my thing, like a monk or a sufi would need to work on it, but not me. Wrong! Liking it.

This book is strangely enough a productivity book. It's the swift kick in the ass so many of us need, to stop us shooting ourselves in the foot. I had never thought I had an ego problem, and in the colloquial sense I might not. But after reading Ego Is the Enemy it's clear that I have an ego problem, I'm holding myself back from growth, and from success, to protect my frail ego. If you've ever passed up a chance, or failed in a project, this book might very well help you improve. Can't recommend it enough.