Set Boundaries, Find Peace A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself
Reviews
Since when are instagram polls considered acceptable evidence for a psychology book?!
It’s informative while providing ways to set healthy boundaries. There are parts that could be improved but overall good book!
This book was so helpful for me! I highly recommend it. I have spent a lot of time working on setting boundaries and improving my communication skills over the last several years. This is a great guidebook filled with specific examples of what to say when setting boundaries and clear situations where you may need to set a boundary. Communication is everything and Nedra's book will definitely help in living a happy life with fulfilling relationships. I had this from the library but I will be purchasing my own copy too.
i loved this one! it was very easy to read –given it's a psychology book–, to understand and to apply, having actionable points and exercises throughout!
having made all that recommended work so far, i can clearly see that it has helped me in my everyday life.
This was an amazing book and I found it to be so helpful. This is nonfiction and helps you set boundaries. The issue I have with this book though is that certain areas of this book give the false assumption that we have accessibility to live the life they set as an example. Great book for starting with this work though.
Favorite Quote: “The truth is that unhealthy boundaries will follow you wherever you go unless you learn to verbalize them.” Ever feel like your biting off more than you can chew and are suddenly inundated with overwhelm? This has been my life for years. Luckily therapy and learning the hard way has helped, and this book was the icing on the cake to help me (and I suspect many others) reclaim my freedom. Dr. Tawwab delves into how the majority of our problems with stress, time-management, and even relationship issues can be traced back to porous and even at times rigid boundaries. She divides the book into just about every arena of life including friendships, work, romantic relationships, social media, parents, in-laws, etc. What I loved most about the book is every boundary and strategy explanation/guidance was followed by bullet points of examples to put into practice in our daily lives. This book is especially helpful for my enneagram 2w3 as I tend to have problems saying no and always want to achieve more and make others feel comforted, even at the cost of my own energy, so I really think all you enneagram 2s out there will benefit from reading this. If you only read one self-development book this year, make it this one!
I took my time with this book. The exercises at the end of each chapter were particularly valuable.
I liked this book, I do felt I learned a bit from it but I wasn't a fan of the actual writing. The author tended to repeat themself quite a bit. It seemed like the same idea stated over and over toward the end which kind of annoyed me. But it was an easy read, gave examples of how to effectively set healthy boundaries and a quiz at the end which I enjoyed. I'd recommend it if you're looking to set healthy boundaries and you don't know where to start.
Highlights
Reasons People Don’t Respect Your Boundaries
• You don’t take yourself seriously.
• You don’t hold people accountable.
• You apologise for setting boundaries.
• You allow too much flexibility.
• You speak in uncertain terms.
• You haven’t verbalised your boundaries (they’re all in your head).
• You assume that stating your boundaries once is enough.
• You assume that people will figure out what you want and need based on how you act when they violate a boundary.
Signs That You Need Boundaries
• You feel overwhelmed.
• You feel resentment toward people for asking for your help.
• You avoid phone calls and interactions with people you think might ask for something.
• You make comments about helping people and getting nothing in return.
• You feel burned out.
• You frequently daydream about dropping everything and disappearing.
• You have no time for yourself.
My Definition of “Boundaries”
Boundaries are expectations and needs that help you feel safe and comfortable in your relationships. Expectations in relationships help you stay mentally and emotionally well. Learning when to say no and when to say yes is also an essential part of feeling comfortable when interacting with others.
We can’t create more time, but we can do less, delegate, or ask for help.
But the bottom line is that it's okay to ask for what you want. Stating your needs is healthy. And you can speak up for yourself without being disres- pectful. Guilt isn't a limitation to setting boundaries.