Reviews
I didn’t realize how much I needed this until it ended
Pros: fascinating Cons: existential crisis
in spite of the fact that the general theme of this book might seem macabre, this is anything but. i found it to be genuine and full of compassion, and sometimes thought-provoking. i found myself tearing up a little during certain parts.
This book is like a lighter version of Mary Roach's "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers". It still has science, but that is toned down while the personal experiences of the author are turned up. Great book, highly recommend.
I got what I asked for. There are some things I think I wish it remained a mystery but now I guess there is no way to go back.
Caitlin Doughty manages to make the death industry funny, while exposing the ridiculous perambulations of dead bodies on their last voyages to either cremation or burial. Highly enjoyable read from a sympathetic narrative.
I really like the authors Ideas on making death less sterilised, agree with her a lot.
rly informative read about dealing with mortality and grief
A highly informative read on current practices in the death industry that might help you form your own opinion about checking out of this world in a way you deem dignified. It also helps that the author is quirky, funny, and approachable. I wish her all the best in her quest to reconcile public with the idea of mortality and to create a better, more healthy relationship we have with death.
3.5 ✳︎ “the silence of death, of the cemetery, was no punishment, but a reward for a life well lived.” i didn’t know i needed a deep conversation with a mortician regarding the culture of death in our current society but here i am. more thoughts to come…
*no rating for non-fiction
I thought this was really interesting. I liked hearing about Doughty's experience in the profession as it's one I don't know much about. I also enjoyed how she broached the topic of death in a more lighthearted manner. It was informative and entertaining. If you're looking for a quick read and you don't mind a bit of morbidness or slightly gross details, I recommend checking it out.
loved this but also wished this was longer and went more in depth in some of the topics cause they were super interesting but felt like there wasn't enough. will read the rest of her works.
wow—I’m deathly afraid of the unknown and the author gives such thoughtful consideration and gruesomely beautiful details of the “death industry” CANT WAIT to check out the other two books!
Fun to read & I learned so much about death & dying
This book didn't grab me and make me want to read it incessantly, but it was written well. I'm glad the author took the chance to explore our relationship to death and corpses in a broader sense than simply sharing stories from her time working at a crematorium. She made me think about my own death, and the death of people I love, and how to handle those situations. In particular, she pointed out how wrong many of our ideas about corpses and how they're dealt with are (perpetuated by people in the funeral industry who don't understand science or the law), and how we can deal with dead bodies respectfully, and in a way that helps us grieve without denying that we too will become just a corpse someday.
*3.5
** spoiler alert ** A really interesting read especially for a person who’s really into death and the death industry like me. I think the first half of the book is way richer than the rest but it’s still a really good book and it’s definitely recommended.
3,5
I can’t even describe how much I loved this
maybe 5 stars later we’ll see
Genuinely compelling for me, as I knew nothing at all about the “death” industry. This is the perfect framing to talk about taboo subjects embroiled in a myriad of (western) societal repressed topics. It’s companionable and earnest. Fantastic memoir structure too. The specific topics brought up align very well with the time cut out from her life being talked about, which is actually fairly rare for a memoir, imo. They tend to have two different timelines, reminiscence bouncing along the path as the overall story marches forward. While this is indicative of how memory works, it is often jarring. The only knock against this is the humour. I am not a fan of it in 90% of everything I’ve ever read; it just does not land for me, and this is only augmented when a text is narrated. This could be a 5 star for me had it been actually funny or narrated by someone who can land jokes; either or, as I’m not sure which was the case for the humour not landing, for me. The authorial voice is just pretty heavy on it so it annoyed me often enough that it effected my overall enjoyment.
Tip: read the author's note in the beginning. It gives a lot of context and trigger warnings
I love reading Caitlin Doughty. I love the way she tackles the institutions of the afterlife. I never put much thought into how much we have commodified death as a society. The narrative she presents both preserves the dignity of death while removing the veil of ambiguity.
well. i guess i know why i never gravitated towards her youtube videos. there were some interesting bits in this and i do think we as a society probably do need to talk about death in a more open way but she came off as holier-than-thou in certain parts and it rubbed me in the wrong way.
Highlights
For me, the good death includes being prepared to die, with my affairs in order, the good and bad messages delivered that need delivering. The good death means dying while I still have my mind sharp and aware; it also means dying without having to endure large amounts of suffering and pain. The good death means accepting death as inevitable, and not fighting it when the time comes. This is my good death, but as legendary psychotherapist Carl Jung said, It won't help to hear what I think about death." Your relationship to mortality is your own.
Because of superstition, unquestioned even among those who should know better, this woman wasn't given the opportunity to sit with her mother until, as a friend of mine put it, her grieving "felt.. her chance for closure. A corpse doesn't need you to remember it. In fact, it doesn't need anything anymore-it's more than happy to lie there and rot away. It is you who needs the corpse. Looking at the body you understand the person is gone, no longer an active player in the game of life. Looking at the body you see yourself, and you know that you, too, will die. The visual is a call to self-awareness. It is the beginning of wisdom. done, somehow.
These bureaucratic necessities would contain more information about the person's life and, more important, their death. The story of how they came to leave the living and join me at the crematory.
Death had brought them all here for a kind of Unite Nations summit, a round-table discussion on nonexistence
I pressed blade to cheek and began my career as barber to the dead.
He was naked, except for the sheet I kept wrapped around his lower half to protect I'm not sure what. Postmortem decency, I suppose.
Death drives every creative and destructive impulse we have as human beings. The closer we come to understanding it, the closer we come to understanding ourselves.
So masterfully do we hide death, you would almost believe we are the first generations of immortals.
Looking morality straight in the eye is not easy feat. To avoid the exercise, we choose to stay blindfolded, in the dark as to the realities of death and dying. But ignorance is not bliss, only a deeper kind of terror.
Mortuary school made me tense to the point of physical illness. The longer you spend doing something you don't believe in, the more the systems of your body rebel. The months drifted by and I was plagued by sore throats, muscle spasms, mouth ulcers. As Dr. Frankenstein ruminated while working to create his monster, "My heart often sickened at the work of my hands."
Can definitely relate to that feeling.
There are many words a woman in love longs to hear. "I'll love you forever, darling," and "Will it be a diamond this year?" are two fine examples. But young lovers take note: above all else, the phrase every girl truly wants to hear is "Hi, this is Amy from Science Support; I'm dropping off some heads."