Akemi Dawn Bowman

A gorgeous and emotionally resonant debut novel about a half-Japanese teen who grapples with social anxiety and her narcissist mother in the wake of a crushing rejection from art school. Kiko Himura has always had a hard time saying exactly what she's thinking. With a mother who makes her feel unremarkable and a half-Japanese heritage she doesn't quite understand, Kiko prefers to keep her head down, certain that once she makes it into her dream art school, Prism, her real life will begin. But then Kiko doesn't get into Prism, at the same time her abusive uncle moves back in with her family. So when she receives an invitation from her childhood friend to leave her small town and tour art schools on the west coast, Kiko jumps at the opportunity in spite of the anxieties and fears that attempt to hold her back. And now that she is finally free to be her own person outside the constricting walls of her home life, Kiko learns life-changing truths about herself, her past, and how to be brave. From debut author Akemi Dawn Bowman comes a luminous, heartbreaking story of identity, family, and the beauty that emerges when we embrace our true selves.

Starfish

Alice Perelta

some people are just starfish- they need everyone to fill the roles that they assign. They need the world to sit around them, point- ing at them and validating their feelings. But you can't spend your life trying to make a starfish happy, because no matter what you do, it will never be enough. They will always find a way to make themselves the center of attention, because it's the only way they know how to live."

What I want is for the hurt to stop. I want a mother who thinks more of me than she does. Who recognizes that l'm a better person than the version of me she has in her head. I just want her to know me, and be interested in me, and care about me without it being because she thinks she's supposed to.

I want to say that this book made me cry and stare at nothing after finishing it. I had to take a moment to process everything. This book hit real close to home.The book itself and the writing was so beautiful and so full of emotion. last time I cried over a book that hard was Kathleen Glasgow. 

But I really didn’t see the point of uncle Max being there. Instead she could have spoken about her mother’s mistreatment like telling her mother that she didn’t like something she did. And that would cause the conflict instead. But that’s my only critique I think. 

MAYBE SPOILER 

I want to say that this book made me cry and stare at nothing after finishing it. I had to take a moment to process everything. This book hit real close to home.The book itself and the writing was so beautiful and so full of emotion. last time I cried over a book that hard was Kathleen Glasgow. 

But I really didn’t see the point of uncle Max being there. Instead she could have spoken about her mother’s mistreatment like telling her mother that she didn’t like something she did. And that would cause the conflict instead. But that’s my only critique I think. 

Maui Santos

This hits close to home. I loved every minute of it, I couldn't put it down. One of the best reads this year.

"We all have to dream our own dreams. We only get one life to live, live it for yourself - not anyone else."

Kiko Himura yearns to escape the toxic relationship with her mother by getting into her dream art school, but when things do not work out as she hoped Kiko jumps at the opportunity to tour art schools with her childhood friend, learning life-changing truths about herself and her past along the way.

trixie

WHEN I TELL YOU I’M IN LITERAL SHAMBLES

Macy Johnson

Denaiir

6 stars, my favorite book of 2018 so far! 
I loved the characters, all of them, I HATED the mom, almost put down the book because of her but she is the best character because she represents everything I mean when I say not everybody should have children. 
The story was interesting even though it was nothing special (classic coming of age story), but the friendships were lovely, the representation was amazing, the characters all stole a little piece of my heart, I rooted for them so bad! Their relationships were extremely interesting, varied, diverse, and all so realistic. I loved everything about this book and can't recommend it enough.

Wafaa S

So emotional and beautiful! Loved the artistic element.

Lacy W

Find this review and others like it at https://aravenclawlibraryx.wordpress.com

tw: racism, toxic parental relationships, unwanted kissing, anxiety attacks, underage drinking, sexual abuse, attempted suicide, emotional abuse, cheating

I have started and restarted this review at least four different times. I really struggled to put into words what this book means to me. It’s up there with Turtles All the Way Down and Under Rose Tainted Skies. This book means a lot to me and I will try my best to put into words why this book is so important to me. 

Let’s start with Kiko, the main character. I identified with her so much that it felt like I was reading about me. She has anxiety and social anxiety, just like me. She struggles to form healthy relationships with her peers and that’s partially due to her mother. The way her mother treats her is abusive and it broke my heart. Because of this Kiko latches on quickly to anyone who shows her slight kindness because she doesn’t know kindness at home. 

While I know kindness at home, I struggle with anxiety and making lasting friendships. I tend to only really talk to people when they first talk to me. I find it hard to keep conversation going so I often only talk to people for a few minutes because I get exhausted and just stop replying. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to people, it’s just draining for me. I only have a few friends because of this. 

Like I mentioned above, Kiko’s mother is abusive and because of this, it makes the book hard to read. I truly hated her mom and the way she treated Kiko. I didn’t like that the abuse was blamed on some sort of undiagnosed mental illness. People can be monsters and not have a mental illness. I wish it would have been just that. Regardless, take caution when reading this book as the scenes of emotional abuse are constant and heartbreaking. 

Overall, this book was amazing. It’s my first 5 (five) star book of 2021 and I hope that bodes well for all future books. I hope everyone takes the time to read this book because it’s message is so very important. Just make sure you are in the right headspace as this book has topics of abuse and sexual assault that are hard to read at times.

Salem Jackson

Score: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 (I really enjoyed this book and didn’t really see any slow points. However I would recommend checking out Trigger Warnings for the book before you start reading. From me the triggers would be: Sexual Assault mention, suicide attempt, narcissistic abuse, but always check out any triggers before buying a book)

Jamieson

"But some people are just starfish. They need everyone to fill the roles they assign



  FULL REVIEW NOW POSTED



this is genuinely one of the most woefully underrated books I've ever read. I literally feel stressed about how few reviews this book has, because it's beyond incredible Akemi Dawn Bowman writes a story thats authentic, simultaneously hopeful and harrowing. 

Starfish follows Kiko Hiruma, a Japanese/American biracial teen who dreams of going to Prism art school, but struggles to show her emotionally abusive mother this is a worthy pursuit. The subject matter of this book is tough, and often hard to read, but what I really liked about it is that despite the incredible hardship Kiko faces, she goes on such an emotional and complex development journey and watching her flourish and succeed outside of a toxic environment was for me, the highlight of this book. 

Kiko's development is honestly amazing to watch, it made me tear up a little. And I loved the way that relationships played into that development, whether they be positive or negative. On one hand, Kiko's relationship with her white mother is incredibly toxic. Her mother emotionally abuses her, puts her in harmful situations, gaslights her and perpetuates racist ideals onto Kiko. But on the other hand are characters like Jamie and Hiroshi. Jamie, the LI, is patient and kind with Kiko, and helps her with her social anxiety. Hiroshi was my favourite character beside Kiko. He's an artist who decides to mentor Kiko, and I loved the way he took her under his wing and helped her develop as an artist and person. It was a really important relationship, and that mentor relationship is something I'd love to see more of. I loved reading that. 


  
  

  


Starfish is one of the most beautiful books I've ever read, inside and out. The cover is beyond stunning, and the words on the inside feel like a love song. A love song to all the lost girls, and the girls in hard places. The people's who've struggled to survive, the people overcoming their own personal battles. 

This book is so disgustingly slept on ! please read it ! I genuinely think it's comparable to contemporary favourites like The Hate U Give. It's pure emotive energy, thoughtfulness, and tender depiction of a biracial Japanese/American girl and her life made me fall absolutely in love with it in the first fifty pages. 

Starfish is raw and painful at times, but it's authentic and honest, and it portrays a woman who's magnificent in her complexities and struggles. I honestly loved following Kiko so much and being a part of her growth. 

This book for me is such a gem, from the amazing representation, to the fun characters, to the beautiful descriptions of art and what art means to people. Please read it, I'm literally begging you to embrace such a truly hidden gem. 


  I draw a girl with arms that reach up to the clouds, but all the clouds avoid her because she’s made of night and not day.


TWs: racism, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, parental abuse, suicide attempt.

A William C. Morris Award Finalist A New York Public Library Best Book for Teens of 2017 A Junior Library Guild Selection “An empowering novel that will speak to many mixed-race teens.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review) “Dazzling.” —Bustle “One of the most compelling reads of the year.” —Paste Magazine “This book is a gem.” —BookRiot A half-Japanese teen grapples with social anxiety and her narcissist mother in the wake of a crushing rejection from art school in this “stunningly beautiful, highly nuanced debut” (Booklist, starred review). Kiko Himura has always had a hard time saying exactly what she’s thinking. With a mother who makes her feel unremarkable and a half-Japanese heritage she doesn’t quite understand, Kiko prefers to keep her head down, certain that once she makes it into her dream art school, Prism, her real life will begin. But then Kiko doesn’t get into Prism, at the same time her abusive uncle moves back in with her family. So when she receives an invitation from her childhood friend to leave her small town and tour art schools on the west coast, Kiko jumps at the opportunity in spite of the anxieties and fears that attempt to hold her back. And now that she is finally free to be her own person outside the constricting walls of her home life, Kiko learns life-changing truths about herself, her past, and how to be brave. From debut author Akemi Dawn Bowman comes a luminous, heartbreaking story of identity, family, and the beauty that emerges when we embrace our true selves.

Darkness

I thought I wouldn't like this book, oh boy was I wrong. Its so fast pace book because you get really into the story. You read about a girl who is finding herself in this big and scary world. You read about problems in the family, how people are selfish and broken. I fell fully in love with this book. It gives me a connection and I learn a lot from this book. As a person who doesn't have a perfect family and is not okay sometimes this was something I needed. Family is not perfect. It never is but that's how it is. Perfection for me doesn't exist because nobody is perfect.

Elena Neoh

** spoiler alert **
           Spark them notes AKA The Summary:
This book was a plot twist to my taste in books because I typically favor sci-fi over romance. A coming-of-age story centered around a Korean American girl, this book deftly incorporates covert racism, which still remains in society today: faces that are deemed model-worthy, the definition of "normal", the fetishization that comes with "exotic". The plot began light and fluffy but dove into a dark twist as we discover how broken the families of each character are. It didn't matter that they came from different backgrounds, culturally and economically; these children are forced to adapt when adults expect their children to cope without proper support. A divorce is a divorce, and sometimes, children fall victim to the consequences. 

Spoilers and more:
Kiko and her brothers coped in their own ways, so did Jamie. Each chapter ends with a description of a sketch that parallels Kiko's emotions. The artistic take to the book is gorgeous. The metaphor for Starfish fitted the congruent theme of Kiko's drawings: sea creatures and celestial beings. The starfish is said to have all its legs pointed towards the center: an allegory that represents a narcissist. 

Criticism and compliments:
Kiko struggled with anxiety to a point that it was overbearing, but was that intentional on the author's part? To a strike a nerve in readers, then feel the pang of guilt as one understands the main character better? As details are revealed, it slowly made sense why she acted that way, and yet, we're reminded that nurture influences each child in a different way: just look at Jamie. 

I'm a fan of how deftly the author incorporates culture throughout this piece without the need to scream it. The curveball for me was how Jamie introduced Kiko to Chinatown, which was carefully played out. She was deprived of her cultural heritage because she lived with a mother who reflected a narrow and conventional societal view on beauty. As a reader, I received the same joy that Kiko did as she explored boba alongside our main character who sees the beauty of her cultural identity.

The issue that may come with that is the pixie boy cape that Jamie dons. The portrayal of a white savior is also reinforced. However, by introducing us to the multidimensional character of Jamie, we get an insight to his equally imperfect life that is comparable to Kiko's. I do think that Kiko's anger was misplaced when she chose to fault him for hiding the truth from her. The resolution saved that oddity, though.

Kiko breaks out of her shell, realizes her dreams. She finds herself and then, true love. As much as i detest sappy endings, the story carved out a reasonably happy one after all the trauma that we've gone through alongside the characters.

Brittany Chandler 

I LOVE this book so much I can’t even put it into words.

Rita Wang

Beautiful, heartbreaking, and deeply relatable. A book I wish I had as a teen to help me navigate my own personal experiences. 

Amanda Kordeliski

mia ¿

okay usually i hide my reviews because i don't have anything that important to say about the books that i read, but how the heck have more people not read this book????????

first, it had a such good representation of what it's like to live with anxiety. i found it extremely accurate in a way that no other book i've read about an anxious character has been accurate. i related to kiko so much when she had her anxious thoughts and didn't know how to deal with them or explain them to other people, and it made me feel very seen.
second, it handled some really interesting topics that should be discussed in books more but usually aren't? dealing with toxic family members is a really important story to tell, as well as being mixed-race and asian in a small, mainly white town. most books i have read about family dynamics are wholly positive, or just so bad and abusive that the child doesn't struggle to leave them. this book was different. kiko struggled so much about what to do about her family, as did all of her siblings. it was so interesting and so emotional and important!!! the discussions about race were also very interesting and well done, and felt very genuine.
third, it focused on art as a hobby in such a real way. a lot of books will just throw in art as a character's hobby and not give too much focus to it, so that any time it's mentioned it doesn't feel fully developed. again, this book was different. kiko used art to cope with her messy life, but that didn't make her a great artist automatically. she was a great artist the whole time, but she learned to be a better one throughout the novel as she also gained confidence. it felt like the author had taken real care to treat art in a genuine and real way, rather than a fleeting and superficial one. as someone who cares a lot about art, i really appreciated this.

with all that said, you should really read this book!!!! it opened my eyes to so many issues that people have that i never considered, and if a book does that even just a little book, i think it's worth a read. so please read this underrated book, i know you'll enjoy it and also learn something :)

Jennifer

An intimate and emotionally engaging tale finding your passion amid difficult times. It's also a tale of not being afraid to dream your dreams and how much you're willing to take to have it come true. Normally I don't often read romance books, but this is the few where the relationships are portrayed faithfully that it's relatable. Overall this an uplifting and cathartic novel to read within a single sitting.

Sam Pulliam

Kiko wants to be an artist. When she doesn't get into her dream art school, she isn't sure how she will fulfill her dreams. On top of this, she's dealing with a narcissistic mother, abusive uncle, and just a generally strained family dynamic. When a childhood friend invites her to look at art schools in California, she jumps at the opportunity for an adventure.
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This isn't an easy book to read. Kiko's relationship with her white mother and subsequent isolation from her father's Japanese culture was frustrating and heartbreaking but I think this would be a powerful and important story for so many young people. I don't want to give any spoilers but I enjoyed the way Kiko was able to learn more about her culture and her artistic voice. This process introduces such a wonderful character. I also think the romance was well done and had appropriate and adequate struggles given the situation.
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Trigger Warnings from @akemidawnbowman website: emotional abuse, reference to sexual abuse, suicide attempt, childhood trauma

Mary Graham

3.5 I annotated the heck out of this book. I related to so many things Kiko said about her anxiety. It's not something we can just turn on and off at any moment. It's not as simple as that.

Alexis 

3/5 Stars

**This has a big list of trigger warnings so please look at some other reviews that include those!**

I don't know how to rate this book. I'm so upset about it. Did I have a great time? No. Did I enjoy the book? Meh. Was the writing good? Kind of. The writing was inconsistent, but there were some beautiful parts! The characters were okay, I really just wanted to punch most of them in the face. The topics this book covers are very serious and heavy topics that honesty made me sad and upset while reading it. I feel like I didn't get anything about the book. However, I again can't take away from some of the beautiful passages in this book. I also can't ignore that this has important topics and discussions. So hence my mixed feelings of I liked it but I also didn't. I'm going to give it a three-star but on the low side because as I said I just didn't have a good time and was constantly frustrated.

Paige Green

Disclaimer: I received this book from Netgalley. Thanks! All opinions are my own.

Book Series: Standalone

Rating: 3/5

Publication Date: September 26, 2017

Genre: Contemporary

Recommended Age: 17+ (self hate, abuse, victim blaming, and finding yourself)

Publisher: Simon Pulse

Pages: 353

Amazon Link

Synopsis: A half-Japanese teen grapples with social anxiety and her narcissist mother in the wake of a crushing rejection from art school in this debut novel.

Kiko Himura has always had a hard time saying exactly what she’s thinking. With a mother who makes her feel unremarkable and a half-Japanese heritage she doesn’t quite understand, Kiko prefers to keep her head down, certain that once she makes it into her dream art school, Prism, her real life will begin. 

But then Kiko doesn’t get into Prism, at the same time her abusive uncle moves back in with her family. So when she receives an invitation from her childhood friend to leave her small town and tour art schools on the west coast, Kiko jumps at the opportunity in spite of the anxieties and fears that attempt to hold her back. And now that she is finally free to be her own person outside the constricting walls of her home life, Kiko learns life-changing truths about herself, her past, and how to be brave.

From debut author Akemi Dawn Bowman comes a luminous, heartbreaking story of identity, family, and the beauty that emerges when we embrace our true selves.

A William C. Morris Award Finalist; A New York Public Library Best Book for Teens of 2017; A Junior Library Guild Selection

Review: For the most part I really liked this book. I enjoyed the art connections and the writing was amazing. I loved the dualness presented between the “what I want to say” and the “what I actually said”. The character development is good and the story, the setting, and the writing is so vivid that it bounces off screen. I feel that the book does good at describing the more intense scenes in a brutal, honest fashion too. The book is also diverse and I love how the main character tries to learn more about her Japanese side and the traditions and culture.

However, I thought there were some very unsettling things in this book. There was a passage in the book where the main character is victim blaming herself, which I feel can give a very bad impression to.. .well anyone. Victim blaming shouldn’t even be a thing, but unfortunately it is and I don’t like seeing it in books, especially ones where I feel younger audiences can get the wrong impression. The main characters development feels very dependent on the romance of the book and the mother’s development is sorely lacking. But generally I feel that this book is and can be very triggering to people who have experienced or are experiencing abuse. I had a hard time reading the book personally.

Verdict: It’s a hard read, but it could be worth it to someone.

razan 

Buddy read with the lovely girls at (cup of tea book club 💖)
I loved it
RTC as soon as I gather my thoughts properly

Nadia Leontescu

ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!!! Such a gripping book, and so true and genuine. The characters felt so real and the descriptions were vivid. GO READ IT!

Pamela Alvarado

Starfish is a truly special book. But I do kind of regret requesting it. It’s not a bad book, it’s actually pretty good. Okay, it was great. But I couldn’t shake off the feeling that it just wasn’t written for me. Because it obviously wasn’t, but I like to be able to tell the people who will benefit the most from reading this book that they will probably adore it.

 

kiko’s japanese heritage being a source of pride journey is a big deal

And it’s awesome. At first it bothered me so much, that she’s so confused about how to feel about being divided in half. I live in my own home country so no has ever said ‘I don’t date girls like you’ to me referring to my race or nationality. I know how it feels to be the outsider because of other things about yourself you can’t change, so even though I couldn’t completely relate to her position, I got the gist of the anxiety she felt most of the time.

The thing is, it takes a special kind of confidence to say ‘I don’t give a flying fuck about what you think of me’ because we’re built to care.

So yes, I’m very happy about Kiko’s journey. Teens are allowed to be confused, to have doubts and ask themselves questions, and to have no idea about what will happen in the future.

 

I think that no matter your background, you’ll find a way to connect with this story, so I really do recommend you give it a shot.

Full review and other book reviews at Reverie Society

Kate

This was just... wow. Utterly wonderful, heartbreaking and inspiring, with some undoubtably adorable moments. I was captivated from the first page by the story, its characters and Akemi Dawn Bowman’s writing. It was beautifully written and flowed gracefully. I can’t congratulate this book enough for the way it managed to explore so many important but heavy topics, whilst not becoming too overwhelming or overpowering. The anxiety representation was wonderful, whilst being incredibly emotional and candid at times. I know there are mixed feelings about whether or not Kiko was ‘fixed’ by romance but personally, I didn’t read it that was. (Although I totally understand and respect the opinions of those who did.) I loved that Kiko knew she needed to face life and her mental health head on and learn how to do that without leaning on others but also realise that it’s okay not to do everything 100% on your own. Sometimes it does take the knowledge that someone loves or believes in you you etc (wether that be from friends, family, a romantic partner or anyone else significant in your life) to give you the strength to know that you’re worthy of love and that’s how I personally read Kiko’s journey and it somehow both broke my heart and stuck the pieces back together again all in under 350 pages. I absolutely adored this book and I think so many people will be able to relate to Kiko on a multitude of different levels. And whilst it was undoubtedly difficult to read in places and I can’t speak on behalf of all the aspects of representation, I know this book will stay with me for a very long time. I’m so incredibly thankful I picked it up this beautiful, melancholy, raw and wonderfully heart-wrenching book.

TW: sexual abuse, parental abuse, ableism, panic attacks, body shaming, racism, attempted suicide, anxiety, depression.

Starfish

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