Malcolm Gladwell

Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Revisionist History and #1 bestselling author of The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, David and Goliath, and What the Dog Saw, offers a powerful examination of our interactions with strangers---and why they often go wrong. How did Fidel Castro fool the CIA for a generation? Why did Neville Chamberlain think he could trust Adolf Hitler? Why are campus sexual assaults on the rise? Do television sitcoms teach us something about the way we relate to each other that isn't true? Talking to Strangers is a classically Gladwellian intellectual adventure, a challenging and controversial excursion through history, psychology, and scandals taken straight from the news. He revisits the deceptions of Bernie Madoff, the trial of Amanda Knox, the suicide of Sylvia Plath, the Jerry Sandusky pedophilia scandal at Penn State University, and the death of Sandra Bland---throwing our understanding of these and other stories into doubt. Something is very wrong, Gladwell argues, with the tools and strategies we use to make sense of people we don't know. And because we don't know how to talk to strangers, we are inviting conflict and misunderstanding in ways that have a profound effect on our lives and our world. In his first book since his #1 bestseller, David and Goliath, Malcolm Gladwell has written a gripping guidebook for troubled times.

What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know

Talking to Strangers

angie

A Best Book of the Year: The Financial Times, Bloomberg, Chicago Tribune, and Detroit Free Pres Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Revisionist History and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Outliers, offers a powerful examination of our interactions with strangers -- and why they often go wrong. How did Fidel Castro fool the CIA for a generation? Why did Neville Chamberlain think he could trust Adolf Hitler? Why are campus sexual assaults on the rise? Do television sitcoms teach us something about the way we relate to each other that isn't true? While tackling these questions, Malcolm Gladwell was not solely writing a book for the page. He was also producing for the ear. In the audiobook version of Talking to Strangers, you'll hear the voices of people he interviewed--scientists, criminologists, military psychologists. Court transcripts are brought to life with re-enactments. You actually hear the contentious arrest of Sandra Bland by the side of the road in Texas. As Gladwell revisits the deceptions of Bernie Madoff, the trial of Amanda Knox, and the suicide of Sylvia Plath, you hear directly from many of the players in these real-life tragedies. There's even a theme song - Janelle Monae's "Hell You Talmbout." Something is very wrong, Gladwell argues, with the tools and strategies we use to make sense of people we don't know. And because we don't know how to talk to strangers, we are inviting conflict and misunderstanding in ways that have a profound effect on our lives and our world.

Stephanie

Beau

4.5 stars. Of the non-fiction books I've read in recent memory none of them have challenged the way I perceive fellow humans like this book. Gladwell, after a string of racially fuelled incidents between law and enforcement personnel and civilians roughly between 2014 and 2016, reached his own tipping point and began to wonder how we as individuals approach, judge, and assume the intentions of strangers; folks we know absolutely nothing about. Through a great collection of historical ponderings, psychological inquiry, and modern day stories from the US and abroad, I was taken on a full-blown expedition of how rash thinking can ensnare the humane side of humanity. I felt my own mind, at times, getting defensive at some of the conclusions he was making, which is usually a telltale sign (for me at least) of a long-forged conclusion getting nudged into a new line of thinking. I thank this book for that, and feel compelled to broaden my senses for the better as I live alongside folks I too quickly place in a box.

Erwin Lemuel Oliva

I was more curious to read this book after a lot people rated it low. Gladwell has produced a radical view on "talking" and dealing with strangers. It is clear that humans are poor judge of other humans. And that makes us human after all. This reminds me of my readings on confirmation bias and why we always are wrong about a lot of things, specially our own views. Kudos to Gladwell for shining a light on these issues again--and to our default to truth. Our society needs to bring back trust again.

Ivy X

Enjoyed the perspectives and the intensive focus on how we don’t read ppl as well as we think we do

Didn’t like how it framed instances of rape or police brutality to be rooted heavily in miscommunication. Felt insensitive.

Sierra Nguyen

Not as you may expect, this book does not aim to teach you how to approach and talk to strangers at networking events to expand your network, its aim is to inform you ways in which you could have been wrong when trying to understand people you don't (or even do) know.
In this book, Malcolm Gladwell explores multiple famous scandals (be ready for an interesting read), and from there, he introduces us to the issues of default-to-truth, transparency, and mismatches. Read this book, join the journey, and learn that we are flawed and can always improve.

Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Revisionist History and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Outliers, offers a powerful examination of our interactions with strangers--and why they often go wrong . How did Fidel Castro fool the CIA for a generation? Why did Neville Chamberlain think he could trust Adolf Hitler? Why are campus sexual assaults on the rise? Do television sitcoms teach us something about the way we relate to each other that isn't true? Talking to Strangers is a classically Gladwellian intellectual adventure, a challenging and controversial excursion through history, psychology, and scandals taken straight from the news. He revisits the deceptions of Bernie Madoff, the trial of Amanda Knox, the suicide of Sylvia Plath, the Jerry Sandusky pedophilia scandal at Penn State University, and the death of Sandra Bland---throwing our understanding of these and other stories into doubt. Something is very wrong, Gladwell argues, with the tools and strategies we use to make sense of people we don't know. And because we don't know how to talk to strangers, we are inviting conflict and misunderstanding in ways that have a profound effect on our lives and our world. In his first book since his #1 bestseller, David and Goliath, Malcolm Gladwell has written a gripping guidebook for troubled times.

Shelby Whitfield

Talking to Strangers is predicated on a tenuous thesis I can't be sure Gladwell himself truly believes. Rather, he's run out of concepts on which to apply his "revisionist" take and has written his reputation into an ideological corner.

The book reads like a college essay needing to be stretched to reach a page requirement, with each supporting argument weaker than the last.

He inexcusably paints Brian Encinia and Brock Turner as victims as he describes the damage done to them by misguided police training and drinking culture, respectively. Reforms in each area are needed, sure, but for Gladwell to separate these men from the responsibility of their actions in order to follow his "hot take" philosophy of selling books is absolutely disgusting.

He argues that the men who supported Jerry Sandusky by failure to report are not criminals, but men who, like all of us, choose to see the best in people. But failure to report is still a crime, and by extension, these men are quite literally criminals.

I've enjoyed previous Gladwell books and podcasts, but this book is too much to forgive.

Cindy Lieberman

A thoughtful and well-reasoned book about our failures to communicate and the dire consequences that can (and have) ensued.

linda

I liked this book. Gladwell focuses on several reasons why we are so bad at talking to strangers.

1. Truth default - we are biased in favor of the most likely interpretation (ex. Madoff).
2. Transparency - we believe that we can easily understand strangers, especially that their facial expressions and mannerisms accurately reflect their emotions and character (ex. Hitler and Chamberlain)
3. Coupling - behaviors are linked to very specific circumstances and conditions (ex. Sylvia Plath, suicide, Gladwell’s dad reading Dickens)

If I could condense this book to one sentence, it would be this: every story is more nuanced than it first appears to be, and rather than having a definitive right or wrong, the conflict often arises from a lapse in communication (between strangers). Overall, I thought the stories were interesting, even if they feel like they are loosely tied together. I also would have enjoyed more science/psychology - a lot of these stories felt oversimplified. I feel like this book lacked a through-line. In the end, the only advice Gladwell offers for talking to strangers is to exercise “restraint and humility.”

Yasser Yahia

A podcast would have been more sufficient for this book IMO!

Todd Luallen

Gladwell is so good at crafting an argument through a variety of sources. I loved this book, and I highly recommend it to anyone remotely interested in human behavior, spies, police tactics, interrogation technique, Amanda Knox, Bernie Madoff, or Penn State Football controversies. 

One of the most interesting discussions surrounds displacement theory and coupling theory. Gladwell clearly showcases that one is widely held by the masses, when in reality, the data shows that the other is actually true. Is it worthwhile to build a net under the Golden Gate bridge to deter suicide jumpers, or will they just find another way of taking their life? Gladwell provides the answer. 

 The book starts off discussing a police traffic stop that went wrong, and I immediately thought this book might be a discussion of the issues surrounding the Black Lives Matter movement. But I was very wrong. The book does not come across as partisan or political in any overt way. But Gladwell does provide plenty of evidence to support his conclusions. At times he will side with the subjects in custody, and at other times he is defending the authorities. More than anything, Gladwell shows the flaws in the way we think, and perhaps provides an avenue to correcting our missteps by highlighting how some have managed to think correctly.

Talking to Strangers is about human interaction and assessment, and the tools that should be used by those that need them the most (police, national security, and the courts).

Margaret McFarlane

The audiobook was very well done. While most of the book was fascinating and very well written, there were a few parts that felt as if Gladwell was trying to write in a vacuum, not acknowledging the broader context, implications, or consequences of certain events and moments. Also sometimes seemed to forget that some of the people he mentions are actual people. Check TWs before reading the book.

In July 2015, a young black woman named Sandra Bland was pulled over for a minor traffic violation in rural Texas. Minutes later she was arrested and jailed. Three days later, she committed suicide in her cell. What went wrong? Talking to Strangersis all about what happens when we encounter people we don't know, why it often goes awry, and what it says about us. How do we make sense of the unfamiliar? Why are we so bad at judging someone, reading a face, or detecting a lie? Why do we so often fail to 'get' other people? Through a series of puzzles, encounters and misunderstandings, from little-known stories to infamous legal cases, Gladwell takes us on a journey through the unexpected. You will read about the spy who spent years undetected at the highest levels of the Pentagon, the man who saw through the fraudster Bernie Madoff, the suicide of the poet Sylvia Plath and the false conviction of Amanda Knox. You will discover that strangers are never simple. No one shows us who we are like Malcolm Gladwell. Here he sets out to understand why we act the way we do, and how we all might know a little more about those we don't.

Raihan Khan

Not in mood to write a review.
But I surely will😕

Ashlyn

I loved the use of source audioclips instead of quotations. Very immersive.

Malcolm Gladwell is a very accomplished writer and Talking to Strangers does not disappoint.  His storytelling clothed in vignettes, is full of anecdotes that provide ample context, historical, and otherwise.

Benjamin Harrison

Mary Rose Luksha

I have read 3 other Gladwell books but this is the first one that didn’t sit entirely right with me. This book tries to shine light on how we deal with/judge strangers and why we are often misled. He highlights Sandra Bland, Brock Turner, Hitler, Jerry Sandusky, and other situations where people/situations weren’t as they seemed. 

But it didn’t sit right with me because he chalks a lot of these scenarios up to “misunderstandings.” Brock Turner “misunderstood” his victims’s consent. The people investigating Jerry Sandusky “misunderstood” his victims behavior. Neville Chamberlain met with Hitler and “misunderstood” his behavior. 

I’m guessing Gladwell was attempting to be “neutral” or “bipartisan” but in 2019 neutrality is just as damning. He never touches upon the fact that any of these “misunderstandings” from Turner, Sandusky, Hitler, could be willful and entirely intentional. Not once. 

The book makes good points. Gladwell is good at the pop psychology/sociology vibe and he understands how to capture the readers attention with what’s going on in our world today. 

But what’s going on in our world today is more than innocent misunderstandings. By simplifying a perpetrator’s actions all we do is open the door for more of them. I don’t think this book sets out to do that, that’s the point of Gladwell remaining neutral. But I’m not interested in neutrality any more.

Kate R

Incredible audiobook, mind blowing storytelling from a non-fiction.

liked this book more than i thought i would. malcolm gladwell brings up several interesting cases to help us better understand the sandra bland case. he wrote in a way that made me want to keep reading and to remember what i was reading

Nadine 

Very well crafted audio-book that combines the elements of a traditional audiobook with podcast like elements with original sound tracks. 
Well chosen stories highlighting the importance of the ability to communicate with a variety of people and what happens when this goes wrong.

The #1 New York Times and top ten Sunday Times bestseller 'I love this book . . . reading it will actually change not just how you see strangers, but how you look at yourself, the news - the world. Reading this book changed me' Oprah Winfrey The highly anticipated new book from Malcolm Gladwell, international bestselling author of The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, What the Dog Saw and David and Goliath The routine traffic stop that ends in tragedy. The spy who spends years undetected at the highest levels of the Pentagon. The false conviction of Amanda Knox. Why do we so often get other people wrong? Why is it so hard to detect a lie, read a face or judge a stranger's motives? Through a series of encounters and misunderstandings - from history, psychology and infamous legal cases - Malcolm Gladwell takes us on an intellectual adventure into the darker side of human nature, where strangers are never simple and misreading them can have disastrous consequences. No one challenges our shared assumptions like Malcolm Gladwell. Here he uses stories of deceit and fatal errors to cast doubt on our strategies for dealing with the unknown, inviting us to rethink our thinking in these troubled times.

What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know

Sarah Vaughan

Malcolm Gladwell is the smartest man alive—or at the very least—knows a whole lot more about our world and our minds than most of us. Each of his books is fascinating, but there was something a little disturbing about realizing we really don't know each other as well as we think we do. I'd recommend starting with his other books and moving on to this one because it's a bit heavier and a lot harder to process some of the concepts and anecdotes than his earlier books. I highlighted a few passages that resonated with me.

On thinking we can read others much better than we actually can:
"The conviction that we know others better than they know us—and that we may have insights about them they lack (but not vice versa)—leads us to talk when we would do well to listen and to be less patient than we ought to be when others express the conviction that they are the ones who are being misunderstood or judged unfairly."

On the prevalence of underage drinking and risk of sexual assault:
"We are failing to let men know that when they render themselves myopic, they can do terrible things. Young men are getting a distorted message that drinking to excess is a harmless social exercise. The real message should be that when you lose the ability to be responsible for yourself, you drastically increase the chances that you will commit a sexual crime. Acknowledging the role of alcohol is not excusing the behavior of perpetrators. It’s trying to prevent more young men from becoming perpetrators."

On how we tend to assume others are acting with good intentions and the cost of living in a society where everyone assumes the worst of one another:
“To assume the best about another is the trait that has created modern society. Those occasions when our trusting nature gets violated are tragic. But the alternative—to abandon trust as a defense against predation and deception—is worse.”

Mary Baldwin

This is the first of Gladwell’s books that I have listened to, rather than have a paperback copy. I think that’s important to point out given my comparison to his previous work.

I was a  fan of “Blink” and “Tipping point in particular; even though I felt they were a little simplistic in parts. When I heard that the audio version of “Talking to Strangers” included interview and audio excerpts I thought I’d give it a go - thinking perhaps that would add some depth. 

I wasn’t impressed. As a book, I found it hard to follow with a real lack of consistent “aha” or “there you go” moments that usually make these kind of pop-science books engaging.

And as for the science, I suppose it’s worth questioning that the author is a self confessed non-scientist, but speaking at length about science.

I feel some poor choices of content were made in this book (CW : abuse, children, racism) when it came to his examples, he appears to choose ones which made the biggest headlines rather than demonstrated the scientific “fact” most effectively -  which is probably what you’d expect from a journalist posing as a scientist? 

For me this is too blurry between a journalistic account/opinion versus something attempting to be “scientific” . 

Disappointingly I felt no connection to the narrative nor did I come away feeling like I’d challenged my own thoughts or experiences. 



Caitlin Snyder

Gladwell presents opinions and ideas in this book as clear facts when they are not. A NYT article about fact-checking talked about how a study used in this book is misleading. I liked Gladwell's other books but he is an extremely unreliable narrator in Talking to Strangers.

The chapter that caused me to stop reading was Case Study: The Fraternity Party. While discussing Chanel Miller and Brock Turner, Gladwell makes excuses for Turner's behavior saying: "Brock Turner was asked to do something of crucial importance that night - to make sense of a stranger's desires and motivations. That is a hard task for all of us under the best circumstances, because the assumption of transparency we rely on in those encounter is so flawed. Asking a drunk and immature nineteen-year-old to do that, in the hyper sexualized chaos of a frat party, is an invitation to disaster". Gladwell is assuming that a convicted sexual predator just couldn't "make sense" of an incoherently drunk girl's intentions; specifically removing intention and responsibility from Turner's actions. I understand the point he is trying to make - alcohol muddles understanding and consent issues especially when both parties are drunk - but how about using an example where both parties actually have a memory of what happened instead of this blatant sexual assult where we only have the memories about what lead up to the assault from the side of the rapist.

Shelby Fink

It’s a very interesting read that really makes you sit and contemplate your life and your actions. It makes you think about other people, and their life. I would definitely recommend.

Wynne Aretae

lots of theory, not as much solutions. he talked n talked n talked and told great stories with only about 5 points in the entire book. you will thoroughly understand the points by the end, but there's not a lot of content and there's NO tips on how to help the issues.

Manohar

Listened to this via Audiobook.
I was actually expecting some suggestions and tips about Talking to Strangers.
But the author actually focused more on real-life case studies.
All in all, it's a good read and I learned some new psychology concepts like "Default to Truth" and "Coupling"

Madhuri Gubbala

Despite the obvious correlations not causations fallacy, I thought the stories and the gimmicks in Gladwell’s books make for an easy yet interesting read. But this book set such horrible precedent in the introduction itself where he is kinda defending Brock Turner. I stopped reading at that point and looked up interviews or articles about this. There’s well deserved backlash and criticism out there.

Talking to Strangers What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know

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