Talking to Strangers What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know

I wish I could give this zero stars. A lopsided, shallow, harmful take on complex issues. Completely fails to meaningfully acknowledge or provide any thoughtful insight. TW: racism, sexual assault, victim blaming, rape culture.

5 stars because of how essential this is

Very interesting and thought provoking but also very…biased as Gladwell’s books tends to be. He’s formed a viewpoint and he’s going to do his best to convince you of it.

** spoiler alert ** I want to give it a four and maybe I will if I read it again. Despite having some interesting points and revealing insight into the ways we operate with others, I still wasnt fully sure what the main lesson was from the book. Maybe that was Gladwell's intention. I may need to read this again. I had issues with the Brock Turner chapter and felt it wasn't even really helpful or well explained. At times, it feels like concepts or theories are oversimplified.

Such an amazing book! I first listened to the audio book version of the book and read it afterwards. The books is well written and is an easy read. Despite this, it is interesting, captivating and relevant. Highly recommended!

"Hablar con extraños" de Malcolm Gladwell es una obra intrigante que explora las complejidades de las interacciones humanas y cómo a menudo malinterpretamos las señales y motivaciones de quienes nos rodean. Publicado en 2019, Gladwell utiliza una combinación de casos históricos, estudios psicológicos y anécdotas para desentrañar los desafíos que enfrentamos al intentar comprender a personas que no conocemos bien. La narrativa se teje a través de varias historias, desde el arresto de Sandra Bland hasta las negociaciones diplomáticas en Cuba, explorando cómo los malentendidos y la falta de comunicación pueden llevar a consecuencias trágicas. Gladwell desafía la creencia común de que somos inherentemente buenos para leer las intenciones de los demás, argumentando que a menudo malinterpretamos las señales y fallamos al evaluar la confiabilidad de las personas. Un tema central en el libro es el "sesgo de la verdad", la tendencia de confiar demasiado en la sinceridad y la veracidad de las personas, incluso cuando hay señales que sugieren lo contrario. Gladwell examina cómo este sesgo puede tener consecuencias significativas, desde situaciones cotidianas hasta eventos de gran escala que afectan la geopolítica mundial. La prosa de Gladwell es cautivadora y accesible, convirtiendo temas complejos en historias envolventes. A medida que explora las diferentes perspectivas de los casos presentados, invita a los lectores a cuestionar sus propias suposiciones sobre la verdad y la confianza en las interacciones diarias. El autor no solo ofrece un análisis detallado de casos específicos, sino que también explora conceptos psicológicos y sociológicos, introduciendo al lector en investigaciones relevantes sobre el comportamiento humano y las dinámicas sociales. En resumen, "Hablar con extraños" es una obra estimulante que desafía las percepciones comunes sobre la comunicación interpersonal. Gladwell proporciona una perspectiva fascinante sobre cómo nos relacionamos con aquellos que no conocemos y cómo nuestras suposiciones pueden llevar a malentendidos significativos. Este libro invita a la reflexión sobre nuestras interacciones cotidianas y ofrece una mirada penetrante a la complejidad de hablar con extraños en un mundo donde la confianza y el engaño a menudo coexisten sutilmente.

Having never read a book by Gladwell previously, I enjoyed this more than I thought it would. I struggled through Sapiens and thought I would with this book as well because of it's non-fiction nature. For the most part I enjoyed the book, but sometimes Gladwell can go on tangents only somewhat related to the topic. Still, I had some good takeaways from reading Talking to Strangers.

I tragically lost my many bookmarked places in this (audio)book, which was my own fault, but I still needed to review this book. This book was incredibly interesting. I won’t go into all of the details because I don’t remember them, but the way Gladwell looks at main concepts like our tendency to default to truth, assuming emotional transparency, and jump to conclusions based on one action of a person. I wish I could remember more and formulate my thoughts into an intriguing review, but what I will say is that Gladwell knows how to make facts and stats and difficult psychological concepts into an easy and fun to read book. Just go read it—I really recommend it on audiobook because he puts in real recordings of people being mentioned, and it’s a great listen I the car (although it did distract my driving occasionally because I was making glances at the screen to bookmark sections).

** spoiler alert ** Excellent writing and great storytelling. But not all the cases he describes fall into the broad, trivialized category of miscommunication. The parts where he analyzes historical events (e.g. Chamberlain vs Hitler, Ana Montez, Aztec empire), were all 'good' because we don't have a deep understanding of the events. But the way the current affairs were dealt, was very so-so. Humans are complex beings with many layers, with varied upbringing, different cultures, and varied philosophies/education, which play a role in a lot of problems (racism, rape culture, etc.). Some cases he discussed are way more complex than just the inability to properly communicate with strangers. Yes, miscommunication plays a role, but the bigger problem is more complicated, and surely can't be trivialized.

This book was designed for audio and the Audible version did not disappoint.

This is the first Gladwell book I’ve read. I prefer his podcasts.

4.5 stars. This was not at all what I thought it would be. Granted, any new book by Malcolm Gladwell gets added to the library list, regardless of what it’s about, so I didn’t even read the description. It is not about how to make better conversation with strangers. It is a thought-provoking look at the kind of assumptions we make about reading people that are so deep we would never think about them if we didn’t read books like these. Mostly. There were some sections that I felt were rather obvious, if not still instructive: Succeeding in public society is partly tied to your ability to present yourself well, whether you can be trusted or not. That’s common sense. But can you tell who is accurately representing their character? Nope. And neither can intelligence agencies, judges or law enforcement. Because they’re strangers. It’s rather depressing to see studies on this and reminds me of some of the research showing that algorithms are better at investing than people. The biggest takeaway, for me, was the origin of police officers making up ridiculous traffic violations in order to pull people over to look for bigger problems. This is such an obvious tactic that has happened to myself and multiple people in my family. Knowing that it originated as a solution to extreme crime for use in a certain way in a certain part of town and has been extrapolated to the entire nation... wow. A classic example of copycat strategy without understanding why the strategy worked in the first place. And is clearly causing more harm than good. I feel almost like this theme, which seems to be the goal he’s working toward, should almost be a separate book. Not that everything in the middle isn’t interesting, but this topic could stand alone. It feels like he started with his premise and wrote backwards. Coupling, related to this, was also interesting, which is roughly another way to describe context. When you understand how reductionist Western society is compared to other parts of the world this isn’t surprising. I enjoyed his chapter on transparency, illustrated by the tv show Friends (which I have never watched), because I absolutely despise sitcoms, and I wonder if this is why. Not only are the plots unrealistic, the expressions are too. I enjoy Malcolm Gladwell’s books because they’re a mile wide and foot deep. He makes you think in an engaging way, and his books are a quick read. It’s enough to pique your curiosity or inform you of new research. The more in depth books—deep dives into a narrow field of study—are what I prefer to read, so his books give me references to more material (reading about his oversimplification of the “10,000 hours rule” vs. reading Peak, the book by that researcher, for example). Also my expectation of pop nonfiction isn’t super high. This isn’t his best work, but if you enjoy a little history, psychology, science and drama, it’s an enjoyable book and will make you think twice the next time you’re trying to read a stranger.

Who knew non-fiction could be as addictive as a paperback novel? I listened to the audiobook which was especially engaging, bringing together podcast type elements with Gladwell reading. Gladwell truly is a master writer, weaving together seemingly unconnected stories to make poignant, helpful and thought provoking points. I especially enjoyed how Gladwell transcends unhelpful polarised rhetoric to make arguments that at times seem "conservative" and other times "liberal." Gladwell is a refreshingly sane voice. Warning: It is pretty graphic (sexual abuse, suicide and torture feature heavily).

Look at all these tabs! I had to revisit them all before being able to write a sensible review. There is just so much good stuff that got absorbed by my brain while reading The Inevitable, I had to digest and compartmentalize. First of all, I do have to say that Kevin Kelley focuses largely on the positive aspects of every technological advancement, and he addresses that concern very late in the book. I think stating his position earlier would have been helpful to the reader. Otherwise, if you don’t mind dismissing the dystopian connotations, you’ll enjoy the read very much. The Inevitable logically predicts the near future where a “tendency towards the dematerialized, the decentralized, the simultaneous, the platform enabled, and the cloud will continue unabated.” I support that statement wholeheartedly. But as I see it, that also means that our current economical model needs to sway towards a more social-oriented, rather than individual, spectrum. Currently I can access original text of The Odyssey with relatively ease. If I want to compare a passage as interpreted by several multiple modern translators, just for fun, I have no way of collecting this information instantly without paying separately to each author for a complete body of work, which is impractical on my end. Kelly predicts that eventually we are going to be able to interlink each and every book to follow references and supporting arguments in a network composed of all books ever written - a metabook. But what about copyrights and geographic restrictions? Under current economic model this kind of tech is out of our reach. But if we provide this kind of access, the benefits are innumerable. Education will be more accessible and affordable; individual’s understanding of any subject could become deeper and more accurate; innovation can be accelerated through such collaboration. Rather than the end product, the corporations need to start focusing on experiences, which are much more valuable and sustainable long term than any physical object or body of work. In fact it’s already happening. Most of the web content is built by unpaid users like you and me. A lot of software companies are giving away their product for free, rely on user base for betterment of the end result, and profit from supporting user experience by charging for manuals, tutorials, subscriptions, etc. By the way, have you noticed how many companies are switching to subscription-based model? Adobe suite, entertainment providers like Netflix and Amazon Prime, numerous monthly box services, etc. Why does that happen? Kelly argues that possession will no longer be as important as accessibility. And isn’t that true? I can’t remember the last time I purchased a physical music CD or a movie DVD. I’d rather pay a subscription service that would allow me to access desired media at any time without taking up space in my own home, or on my own device. I choose to rent/buy physical book, only because I enjoy the tactile experience of holding one. Experience prevails where product only becomes devalued. There are many other fascinating subjects covered, which I could discuss forever, but I’d rather you read this book for yourself and draw your own conclusions.

This book explores the history of the human truth-default, it’s benefits and drawbacks, and it’s connection to how interrogation and policing has been practiced irrationally by a scientific standard. The audiobook is packed with audio from pertinent interviews and court documentation, contextualizing in a way that feels rare. Rest in peace Sandra Bland.

Gladwell argues strangers are not easy, and I agree. The book's thesis wasn't enlightening or surprising, maybe because I am apprehensive even about my acquaintances, let alone strangers. He has got a very convincing narrative, but quite a terrible approach. He reduces major social issues like sexual assault, racism and other systemic issues into miscommunication and misinterpretation by individuals. Any writer who use surficial elements in different stories/cases to tie together into a semi-intelligent thesis should be a red flag. I thought the book would be about the average strangers you meet in your every day, but he took it to criminals and racists.

Malcolm Gladwell does it again. I listened to this as an audiobook after learning that he recorded it in the same style as his podcast, Revisionist History. I will admit, listening to it as an audiobook brought it to 5 stars. Wonderfully written, beautifully recorded. He examines the our habitual patterns and expectations when talking to strangers - where each style presents their own pitfalls and tragic endings. Default to truth and humility are a few key principles he suggests when talking to strangers. I'm confident that when you finish this book, Gladwell won't be a stranger to you at all.

Loved this audiobook - it’s recorded similar to a podcast where and quote is read by the person who said it, or read by an actor in some cases. Very thoughtful breakdowns of a lot of recent dramatic events where people aren’t who we thought they were or we thought they were very different than they actually were. Excellent case studies and lots of great takeaways.

4.5 stars. Of the non-fiction books I've read in recent memory none of them have challenged the way I perceive fellow humans like this book. Gladwell, after a string of racially fuelled incidents between law and enforcement personnel and civilians roughly between 2014 and 2016, reached his own tipping point and began to wonder how we as individuals approach, judge, and assume the intentions of strangers; folks we know absolutely nothing about. Through a great collection of historical ponderings, psychological inquiry, and modern day stories from the US and abroad, I was taken on a full-blown expedition of how rash thinking can ensnare the humane side of humanity. I felt my own mind, at times, getting defensive at some of the conclusions he was making, which is usually a telltale sign (for me at least) of a long-forged conclusion getting nudged into a new line of thinking. I thank this book for that, and feel compelled to broaden my senses for the better as I live alongside folks I too quickly place in a box.

I was more curious to read this book after a lot people rated it low. Gladwell has produced a radical view on "talking" and dealing with strangers. It is clear that humans are poor judge of other humans. And that makes us human after all. This reminds me of my readings on confirmation bias and why we always are wrong about a lot of things, specially our own views. Kudos to Gladwell for shining a light on these issues again--and to our default to truth. Our society needs to bring back trust again.

Enjoyed the perspectives and the intensive focus on how we don’t read ppl as well as we think we do Didn’t like how it framed instances of rape or police brutality to be rooted heavily in miscommunication. Felt insensitive.

Not as you may expect, this book does not aim to teach you how to approach and talk to strangers at networking events to expand your network, its aim is to inform you ways in which you could have been wrong when trying to understand people you don't (or even do) know. In this book, Malcolm Gladwell explores multiple famous scandals (be ready for an interesting read), and from there, he introduces us to the issues of default-to-truth, transparency, and mismatches. Read this book, join the journey, and learn that we are flawed and can always improve.

Talking to Strangers is predicated on a tenuous thesis I can't be sure Gladwell himself truly believes. Rather, he's run out of concepts on which to apply his "revisionist" take and has written his reputation into an ideological corner. The book reads like a college essay needing to be stretched to reach a page requirement, with each supporting argument weaker than the last. He inexcusably paints Brian Encinia and Brock Turner as victims as he describes the damage done to them by misguided police training and drinking culture, respectively. Reforms in each area are needed, sure, but for Gladwell to separate these men from the responsibility of their actions in order to follow his "hot take" philosophy of selling books is absolutely disgusting. He argues that the men who supported Jerry Sandusky by failure to report are not criminals, but men who, like all of us, choose to see the best in people. But failure to report is still a crime, and by extension, these men are quite literally criminals. I've enjoyed previous Gladwell books and podcasts, but this book is too much to forgive.

A thoughtful and well-reasoned book about our failures to communicate and the dire consequences that can (and have) ensued.