Eliot Schrefer

They Both Die at the End meets The Loneliest Girl in the Universe in this mind-bending sci-fi mystery and tender love story about two boys aboard a spaceship sent on a rescue mission, from two-time National Book Award finalist Eliot Schrefer. Two boys, alone in space. Sworn enemies sent on the same rescue mission. Ambrose wakes up on the Coordinated Endeavor with no memory of a launch. There's more that doesn't add up: evidence indicates strangers have been on board, the ship's operating system is voiced by his mother, and his handsome, brooding shipmate has barricaded himself away. But nothing will stop Ambrose from making his mission succeed--not when he's rescuing his own sister. In order to survive the ship's secrets, Ambrose and Kodiak will need to work together and learn to trust each other . . . especially once they discover what they are truly up against. Love might be the only way to survive.

The Darkness Outside Us

Mary Carmona

“Okay. Ready. Future Kodiak: One, you don’t like manicotti as much as you tell Ambrose. It’s just your way of having something to say. Two, you don’t need to spend as much time getting ready for when you’ll see Ambrose, since he’ll only start to tease you for being so vain. Three, settle into kissing Ambrose as soon as possible. You’ll enjoy it very much, and you’ll only have time for so many kisses.”

“And with an off-grid blind room,” Kodiak finishes. “Sure it could have. It could also be powered by a pod of narwhals.”

“Did you just make a joke, Spacefarer Kodiak Celius?” I ask.

“Much as he tries, Kodiak can’t hide that he’s laughing at me. Laughing at me. “Kodiak, tell me you are not doing what I think you’re doing right now.”

“Kodiak doesn’t seem to pick up on my rising dread. “Goddammit, you left a mark,” he says, a smile in his voice. “It’s reducing visibility.”

I wipe the smudge off with the sleeve of my jumpsuit, try to beam courage at Kodiak. It turns out I’m actually a goofball weirdo, so what? “I regret nothing.”

“I noticed you noticing,” he says, his eyes suddenly back on mine.

I can’t help raising my fingers to my mouth.

He shrugs. “I do not mind. It is nice to be noticed.”

“Awesome. Okay. Well, um, happy to oblige.”

“It’s just a treat to see a pretty boy squirm.”

Izaac Richards

I find Fat Kodiak just as sexy as the old one, by the way, so you probably will, too. A little extra bubble to the butt, if you know what I mean. 

He's a Stranger, a lover, and my life partner. We have lived and died life-times together, and it makes me shiver every time that odd truth comes over me

But I want my future self to have its best chance. And for that I must die. 

 "Scrumpkin," he says back. “Wow. I thought you'd run out of ways to embarrass me, but then here you go."

"Oh, I've got a long list of names for you, my fuffer-skunk."

Do not isolate yourself. Do not allow Kodiak to isolate himself.

Kodiak chuckles, clearly pleased with himself. “It's just a treat to see a pretty boy squirm." He rolls up a sleeve and flexes. "You like that?"

In space, without any atmosphere to cloud my view, even the void resolved into more distant pricks of light. Nowhere is truly empty. The thought makes me feel lavishly alone. Somehow, space is so deeply melancholy that it's not at all sad, like a note so low it ceases to sound. Even my sorrow about my insignificance feels insignificant. 

JJay Jones

Kodiak presses against me, arms wrapping around my torso as he pulls me in tight. “Don't get me wrong. I love being here with you. I am in awe of what we're doing together. It's terrifying and wonderful, all at the same time. But it's ours. Not theirs. Ours.

 “I know she's been dead for thirty thousand years. But I miss Minerva." 

He tilts my chin so he can look into my eyes. “I have a thought about that," he says. "Since Sagittarion Bb isn't quite cutting it. I wonder if you've had this thought, too." I peer into his eyes. "I don't know, have I?“

I don’t know where he’s going with this, and I’m surprised myself by crying. Kodiak’s thumbs stroke away the tears. 

“Have you came across any regulations on how to name this planet?” I ask him 

“I thought you said this was sagittarion bb” 

“I was thinking we might need to name it something a little more meaningful” 

Well, well, Minerva. Looks like I'm mounting an extra- terrestrial base canmp rescue after all.

This planet isn't my new home, it's the only home I’ve ever had.

You are disoriented. Your last true memory is of a medical session on Earth, a full exam before you went into space to rescue Minerva."

I squeeze the back of his neck. "That's sweet. Don't tease me." I wasn't, actually. I adore daffodils." Because they were Minerva's favorite.

I pull Kodiak's body tight to mine. "I love you," I say. I hadn't ever said that, not until the moment he was dying. I wish now that I'd had the courage. 

"It's just that your voice got so small and scratchy toward the end." 

“Now it's time to 'man up, as you'd say." I push myself to my feet and dust my hands. “What an awful expression. Can someone 'woman up, too, or is that against the law in Dimokratía?"

raven

This book was amazing. I was immediately immersed as soon as I started listening and reading to it simultaneously. It's not like anything I've read before, it had just the right amount of existential angst along with the sci-fi and the survival element of it all. The book just kept giving as I went through it and I truly felt for Ambrose and Kodiak.

As for the audiobook, the narration was just spot-on. I love James Fouhey's work on this, especially as OS, and I can't wait to listen to another book he narrates someday.

Bria

This was definitely badly marketed, but I liked that I went in blind.

I'm just glad they're happy after all of that

some of the story is a little predictable but then it goes a new direction before you know it. There is so much to this story and it’s written in the most perfect way. I cried, I laughed, I gasped and paused for a few minutes here and there to take in what Information I had just swallowed. Amazing read. Highly recommend (it’s not just romance! It’s so so much more) 

This book broke me. I love it. 

some of the story is a little predictable but then it goes a new direction before you know it. There is so much to this story and it’s written in the most perfect way. I cried, I laughed, I gasped and paused for a few minutes here and there to take in what Information I had just swallowed. Amazing read. Highly recommend (it’s not just romance! It’s so so much more) 

Lila Roberts

I simply cannot get over how entranced i was by this book, it exceeded my expectations!! i really thought it was a cute lil YA but holy shit it was one of the most existential and beautiful books i’ve read this year 😭

Lisa-Maria Hofmann

For me the biggest surprise 2022. This was just very well structured and exiting Scifi. The YA category feels arbitrary and was obviously just chosen because of the age of the main characters. Not that I complain, it lead to a really nice cover instead of the default sad spaceship photo montage we usually get.

it's safe to say this book completely destroyed me

Alex

I loved this book a lot!!! The way of storytelling really spoke to me. And the way the main characters were introduced and how they showed their character was really interesting and fun. I liked how romance wasn't the main goal but felt very true. 
I just wished the ending was a bit longer, but that's my world building loving brain speaking.

ash <3

i hate this book with every fiber of my being. that’s all.

i liked the plot/plot twist, but it was kinda tedious to get through. The start and the end were good, but the middle (especially pt 2) was not the best imo

Sylvia de Graaff

ayah ♡

Paige mandia 

<i>“I’m going to fall in love with this piece of ancient history”.</i> 

This book was bananas. It was a space adventure, a love story and a mystery all wrapped in one(with a dash of horror because… space though). The circumstances were high stakes yet what I really loved was how our two mc’s handled their predicament: it felt authentic and honest to me. I felt for them in all moments and I feel like I travelled to said planet with them, which I feel is a sign of good storytelling. 

This was an emotional space journey that I’m glad I took a trip on. 

Kathryn

<i>“I’m going to fall in love with this piece of ancient history”.</i> 

This book was bananas. It was a space adventure, a love story and a mystery all wrapped in one(with a dash of horror because… space though). The circumstances were high stakes yet what I really loved was how our two mc’s handled their predicament: it felt authentic and honest to me. I felt for them in all moments and I feel like I travelled to said planet with them, which I feel is a sign of good storytelling. 

This was an emotional space journey that I’m glad I took a trip on. 

4.5/5⭐️

emily

spent the last hour crying and now i’m wishing there was a way to rate this higher than goodreads will allow bc this has redefined what 5 stars means to me / 5 stars if that wasn’t clear

cora rolfes 

My nerdy little sci fi heart loved this. 

The existential crisis of The Good Place and the emotion of any doomed love story. I liked this book a lot, especially the middle. I assumed the ending would be what it was, even if it was a little weird. 

It had thriller elements, but also reminded me of a Neal Shusterman book? definitely crisis inducing. and i absolutely cried.

They Both Die at the End meets The Loneliest Girl in the Universe in this mind-bending sci-fi mystery and tender love story about two boys aboard a spaceship sent on a rescue mission, from two-time National Book Award finalist Eliot Schrefer. Two boys, alone in space. Sworn enemies sent on the same rescue mission. Ambrose wakes up on the Coordinated Endeavor with no memory of a launch. There’s more that doesn’t add up: evidence indicates strangers have been on board, the ship’s operating system is voiced by his mother, and his handsome, brooding shipmate has barricaded himself away. But nothing will stop Ambrose from making his mission succeed—not when he’s rescuing his own sister. In order to survive the ship’s secrets, Ambrose and Kodiak will need to work together and learn to trust each other . . . especially once they discover what they are truly up against. Love might be the only way to survive.

Darkness

So this book. I did not expect this. Just so you all know I mean it in a good way. I don't usually read a sci-fi book but this one intrigued me and so I read it. 
We are following Ambrose and Kodiak through space. They have an expedition to Titan to found Ambrose's sister. At least that is how it started but then strange things start to happen. You will cry and be sad for them, root for them and their survival. The connection between them is perfect. Basically, they are soulmates.

neil / dante

this book destroyed me. it's a new favorite.

Emi Gilmore 

This book is not what you think it is and part of me absolutely loved it and part of me never wants to read a scifi book ever again

but also this book also had an almost identical plotline to another 2021 YA release I've read this year (view spoiler)[ *cough* The Ones We're Meant to Find, if you really wanted to know (hide spoiler)] honestly that is kind of unfortunate for both books but at least this one was lgbtq+

Caitlyn Hagen

** spoiler alert **
           What in the...... 

I..

What. 

This book was good. If you were looking for a gay Romance in space. This isn't it. 

If you are looking for a space thriller that happens to have a bit of queer romance. Then this one is for you. 

My brain hurts. I think fundamentally Humanity sending only two men to repopulate the human race was an odd choice but it was still an excellent read and it ties it up in the end but like.... Huh. 

It didn't have chapters. Which means if you read like me you will be unable to stop.

Sharanya Sharma

Good characters, really interesting world building, decent plot. But whew, I struggled with the pacing in this. It felt like a bit of a slog almost up until the halfway point. And then suddenly everything was happening with a BANG. Also, I had some SERIOUS questions about that major plot twist that weren’t answered until 98% which…annoyed me. 

Still, the writing has some really lovely, poignant moments, & the romance was cute!

Romi

This book broke my heart and then mended it back together. I couldn't put it down, it's one of my favorites. 

Eliza Gonzalez

My brain is so much more often in shambles and less able to produce a good review after reading a book I enjoy, but I'm going to try to at least get some thoughts across. 

I'll start by saying this book shocked me in the best of ways. When I first picked it up, I could not have guessed it was going to go in the direction it did. At the height of the mystery, I was so invested that I had to stop reading, locate my mother, tell her all about it, and then proceed to play the audiobook so we could listen to the rest of the story together. 

There was so many emotions that passed through me while reading this, but ultimately I would have to agree with a review I'd seen that said the book made them feel small. I'm not one to feel any existential crises looking up at the night sky, but this book has such a way of depicting one's own insignificance and helplessness that hit me deep in my bones. But as much as this is a story of devastation and horror, it is one about resilience and hope and a reminder of how much that everyone needs someone. 

Now, even though I've rated this 5 stars and gone on about how much I clearly enjoyed it, there were some things I had a problem with.

The first was that there was far too much emphasis placed on Federation (USA) vs Dimokratia (Russia) and it ended up being a completely unnuanced take that we have seen again and again in media: Russia bad, America good....ish. Certainly better than Russia in any case!! But we will not go into details on why either country is bad or not bad and instead just use this bit of worldbuilding to give the main characters reasons to distrust each other. Sort of. They get over it quite quickly, so the choice is even less valid.

Anyway, part of the Russia-stand-in being unpleasant schtick included a scene in which Ambrose calls Kodiak backward for daring to ask if Ambrose is gay or bisexual because those labels are just so archaic and practically offensive! It's an absolutely nonsense fake-woke take. If you don't want to label yourself, that's fine, but don't put down others for wishing to use them or vilify labels as a whole. They're not only extremely useful, but very important to many people, and it's not progressive to try to get rid of them fullstop. (It is, in fact, kind of stupid.)

Anywayy, these cons didn't detract in my enjoyment of the story too much, as most of the book was just about trying to figure out what the hell was going on and Fake Russia vs Fake US really didn't matter in the grand scheme of the plot. I will say the story got a little less compelling for me as it neared the end, once all of the mystery was gone, but it's still a solid read that I would definitely recommend giving a try.

Oh wait, one more personal con: why the fuck was the main character so horny in a life and death situation? Wild.

Plot Concept: 4/5

Plot Execution: 5/5

Pacing: 4/5

Writing: 5/5

Characters: 4/5

Romance: 4/5

Overall Enjoyability: 4.5/5

Rania Singla

I can’t say a lot about this book except that it went in a direction I was least expecting. When you first read the synopsis you think “oh this is going to be a wholesome and emotional sci-fi contemporary read” it’s not. 

Yes, it’s emotional and completely heartbreaking but it’s more sci-fi than romance which honestly I’m not mad about. 

This book will be confusing. You’ll want to DNF it in the first few pages because you won’t understand anything. And then when you reach halfway you’re going to be even more confused. But the moment it all starts to make sense and line up in your head, is when you truly understand the message this book is trying to give out.

It would have been a five star read if not for the wonky pacing. It’s all over the place and the writing style changes in a few places which took me a while to get used to but I eventually ended up enjoying it a lot. 

I want to say so much more but I want to avoid spoilers although if you’ve read it you can always message me if you want to talk about it.

The characters were another thing I really loved about this book. AIs were portrayed quite differently in this book than usual and I really liked that. 

The plot twists were just so unexpected and in a way it reminded me so much of The Ones We’re Meant to Find even though it’s completely different. I know that made no sense but if you liked that book, you’ll have a really great time with this one.

The Darkness Outside Us

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