Eliot Schrefer

They Both Die at the End meets The Loneliest Girl in the Universe in this mind-bending sci-fi mystery and tender love story about two boys aboard a spaceship sent on a rescue mission, from two-time National Book Award finalist Eliot Schrefer. Two boys, alone in space. Sworn enemies sent on the same rescue mission. Ambrose wakes up on the Coordinated Endeavor with no memory of a launch. There's more that doesn't add up: evidence indicates strangers have been on board, the ship's operating system is voiced by his mother, and his handsome, brooding shipmate has barricaded himself away. But nothing will stop Ambrose from making his mission succeed--not when he's rescuing his own sister. In order to survive the ship's secrets, Ambrose and Kodiak will need to work together and learn to trust each other . . . especially once they discover what they are truly up against. Love might be the only way to survive.

The Darkness Outside Us

Izaac Richards

Kodiak is dead. The tumor Rover extracted was just a hint of bow much was growing in his body. 

The universe has no light in it anymore. 

You love Kodiak. This is the hidden miracle of all this: you might be loving each other deeper than any humans have ever loved, have ever needed to love, have ever had the occasion to love.

Whenever I see Rover, I get the urge to punt its little whirring half-basketball body. If we prove the reels from our former selves were true, we're disabling you first. And I'll be the one to execute the code.

But I want my future self to have its best chance. And for that I must die.

I pull Kodiak's body tight to mine. “I love you," I say. I hadn't ever said that, not until the moment he was dying. I wish now that I'd had the courage.

I want an Ambrose and a Kodiak to eventually get off this ship. I want them to have a chance to live their lives together. Their happiness will be ours and not ours. That's the most I can hope for.

We were never going to reach a nearby planet. Kodiak just needed to feel like he had some control over his destiny. 

"My Kodiak," I say, crying. “I love you."

"One, you don't like manicotti as much as you tell Ambrose. It's just your way of having something to say. Two, you don't need to spend as much time getting ready for when you'll se Ambrose, since he'll only start to tease you for being so vain. Three, settle into kissing Ambrose as soon as possible. You'll enjoy it very much, and you'll only have time for so many kisses."

"Scrumpkin," he says back. “Wow. I thought you'd run out of ways to embarrass me, but then here you go." 

"Oh, I've got a long list of names for you, my flufferskunk."

Kodiak Celsius has been trained all his life to be unfeeling, but inside is a tender human learning for love. Just ike you. You can provide that love to each other.

Fédération and Dimokratía are gone. Everyone you've ever known is gone. 

Within those two laws of your existence, the life you carve out is your own. 

Do not isolate yourself. Do not allow Kodiak to isolate himself.

Our hands. His are crushers. Mine were just strokinga violin. 

I don't feel pain, only shock. Beneath that explosion of sensation, my last thoughts are of Kodiak dying alone, of both of us dying alone. 

I press my gloved hand against the pane. 

He presses his gloved hand to the other side and nods. 

Kodiak gives me a tender smile as he fastens his helmet. His voice now comes out of the speaker around his neck. "Suit up in case I need you, okay? I'Il be back as soon as I can." 

"Of course I'm suiting up. I'll be right there if you get into trouble," I say, squeezing a neoprene shoulder. Then I plant a kiss on his helmet's shield.

I get this horrible feeling that I'll never be able to kiss him for real. That's it's too late. 

I lie beside him, turned in his direction, head pillowed on my biceps so I can watch him. I want to protect him. Not that this soft fragile body of mine, so reliant on its blood and its heart and its lungs, could hope to defend him from Rover and OS. 

Kodiak nods, before letting his head drop back to his knees. "That is the most intelligent thing you've said for a while." 

"Could you say that part about Minerva again?" I ask testing out the tender back side of my hand. 

He reaches a hand under his collar to rub an itch on his shoulder. “Really?" 

I nod, bottom lip pinned between my teeth. “About how you'd choose me over her?" 

He sighs. "You, Ambrose. I prefer to be with you." I give a little shimmy-shiver as I stand. "Thank you. You don't know how much joy that gave to my petty and competitive Cusk soul."

"I wonder if I'll ever be the fearsome scientist warrior Minerva was and I'm not nearly the star that you and the rest of the whole fucking Earth expect I am and you'd probably be so turned on if it was her here instead of me, Minerva here instead of me, Minerva serving you manicotti, and don't kick me out of your life again okay, because we're all we have, holy shit this hurts."

Kodiak chuckles, clearly pleased with himself. "It's just a treat to see a pretty boy squirm." He rolls up a sleeve and flexes. "You like that?"

I take a quick glance back at the pool of water that might have saved us, where Kodiak took my pulse while we hid from the gunfire of atoms shot from supernovas. We'll be drinking that water for months. 

I'd like Kodiak to make me know that I exist. Kissing him would be a way to do that. 

Not my type, but as a purely aesthetic object, he's marvelous. I'm hurtling through space with what can only be called a stud.

Sweet lords is the first thing I think on seeing Kodiak. This beauty is wasted on me.

Jasper

I wasn’t super certain on the book from the start, but I quickly got swallowed by the plot and couldn’t put it down until i finished it 2 days later. Really amazing read, not just for my queer heart but also my sci-fi loving brain.

Owen Ball

raven

This book was amazing. I was immediately immersed as soon as I started listening and reading to it simultaneously. It's not like anything I've read before, it had just the right amount of existential angst along with the sci-fi and the survival element of it all. The book just kept giving as I went through it and I truly felt for Ambrose and Kodiak.

As for the audiobook, the narration was just spot-on. I love James Fouhey's work on this, especially as OS, and I can't wait to listen to another book he narrates someday.

Bria

This was definitely badly marketed, but I liked that I went in blind.

I'm just glad they're happy after all of that

Still incredible and the first half is still a great read even if you understand the mystery. I still don't understand quasars 

I'm just glad they're happy after all of that

2nd Read:

Still incredible and the first half is still a great read even if you understand the mystery. I still don't understand quasars 

some of the story is a little predictable but then it goes a new direction before you know it. There is so much to this story and it’s written in the most perfect way. I cried, I laughed, I gasped and paused for a few minutes here and there to take in what Information I had just swallowed. Amazing read. Highly recommend (it’s not just romance! It’s so so much more) 

JJay Jones

This book broke me. I love it. 

some of the story is a little predictable but then it goes a new direction before you know it. There is so much to this story and it’s written in the most perfect way. I cried, I laughed, I gasped and paused for a few minutes here and there to take in what Information I had just swallowed. Amazing read. Highly recommend (it’s not just romance! It’s so so much more) 

Lila Roberts

I simply cannot get over how entranced i was by this book, it exceeded my expectations!! i really thought it was a cute lil YA but holy shit it was one of the most existential and beautiful books i’ve read this year 😭

Lisa-Maria Hofmann

For me the biggest surprise 2022. This was just very well structured and exiting Scifi. The YA category feels arbitrary and was obviously just chosen because of the age of the main characters. Not that I complain, it lead to a really nice cover instead of the default sad spaceship photo montage we usually get.

it's safe to say this book completely destroyed me

Alex

I loved this book a lot!!! The way of storytelling really spoke to me. And the way the main characters were introduced and how they showed their character was really interesting and fun. I liked how romance wasn't the main goal but felt very true. 
I just wished the ending was a bit longer, but that's my world building loving brain speaking.

ash <3

i hate this book with every fiber of my being. that’s all.

i liked the plot/plot twist, but it was kinda tedious to get through. The start and the end were good, but the middle (especially pt 2) was not the best imo

Sylvia de Graaff

ayah ♡

Paige mandia 

<i>“I’m going to fall in love with this piece of ancient history”.</i> 

This book was bananas. It was a space adventure, a love story and a mystery all wrapped in one(with a dash of horror because… space though). The circumstances were high stakes yet what I really loved was how our two mc’s handled their predicament: it felt authentic and honest to me. I felt for them in all moments and I feel like I travelled to said planet with them, which I feel is a sign of good storytelling. 

This was an emotional space journey that I’m glad I took a trip on. 

Kathryn

<i>“I’m going to fall in love with this piece of ancient history”.</i> 

This book was bananas. It was a space adventure, a love story and a mystery all wrapped in one(with a dash of horror because… space though). The circumstances were high stakes yet what I really loved was how our two mc’s handled their predicament: it felt authentic and honest to me. I felt for them in all moments and I feel like I travelled to said planet with them, which I feel is a sign of good storytelling. 

This was an emotional space journey that I’m glad I took a trip on. 

4.5/5⭐️

emily

spent the last hour crying and now i’m wishing there was a way to rate this higher than goodreads will allow bc this has redefined what 5 stars means to me / 5 stars if that wasn’t clear

cora rolfes 

My nerdy little sci fi heart loved this. 

The existential crisis of The Good Place and the emotion of any doomed love story. I liked this book a lot, especially the middle. I assumed the ending would be what it was, even if it was a little weird. 

It had thriller elements, but also reminded me of a Neal Shusterman book? definitely crisis inducing. and i absolutely cried.

They Both Die at the End meets The Loneliest Girl in the Universe in this mind-bending sci-fi mystery and tender love story about two boys aboard a spaceship sent on a rescue mission, from two-time National Book Award finalist Eliot Schrefer. Two boys, alone in space. Sworn enemies sent on the same rescue mission. Ambrose wakes up on the Coordinated Endeavor with no memory of a launch. There’s more that doesn’t add up: evidence indicates strangers have been on board, the ship’s operating system is voiced by his mother, and his handsome, brooding shipmate has barricaded himself away. But nothing will stop Ambrose from making his mission succeed—not when he’s rescuing his own sister. In order to survive the ship’s secrets, Ambrose and Kodiak will need to work together and learn to trust each other . . . especially once they discover what they are truly up against. Love might be the only way to survive.

Darkness

So this book. I did not expect this. Just so you all know I mean it in a good way. I don't usually read a sci-fi book but this one intrigued me and so I read it. 
We are following Ambrose and Kodiak through space. They have an expedition to Titan to found Ambrose's sister. At least that is how it started but then strange things start to happen. You will cry and be sad for them, root for them and their survival. The connection between them is perfect. Basically, they are soulmates.

neil / dante

this book destroyed me. it's a new favorite.

Emi Gilmore 

This book is not what you think it is and part of me absolutely loved it and part of me never wants to read a scifi book ever again

but also this book also had an almost identical plotline to another 2021 YA release I've read this year (view spoiler)[ *cough* The Ones We're Meant to Find, if you really wanted to know (hide spoiler)] honestly that is kind of unfortunate for both books but at least this one was lgbtq+

Caitlyn Hagen

** spoiler alert **
           What in the...... 

I..

What. 

This book was good. If you were looking for a gay Romance in space. This isn't it. 

If you are looking for a space thriller that happens to have a bit of queer romance. Then this one is for you. 

My brain hurts. I think fundamentally Humanity sending only two men to repopulate the human race was an odd choice but it was still an excellent read and it ties it up in the end but like.... Huh. 

It didn't have chapters. Which means if you read like me you will be unable to stop.

Romi

This book broke my heart and then mended it back together. I couldn't put it down, it's one of my favorites. 

Eliza Gonzalez

My brain is so much more often in shambles and less able to produce a good review after reading a book I enjoy, but I'm going to try to at least get some thoughts across. 

I'll start by saying this book shocked me in the best of ways. When I first picked it up, I could not have guessed it was going to go in the direction it did. At the height of the mystery, I was so invested that I had to stop reading, locate my mother, tell her all about it, and then proceed to play the audiobook so we could listen to the rest of the story together. 

There was so many emotions that passed through me while reading this, but ultimately I would have to agree with a review I'd seen that said the book made them feel small. I'm not one to feel any existential crises looking up at the night sky, but this book has such a way of depicting one's own insignificance and helplessness that hit me deep in my bones. But as much as this is a story of devastation and horror, it is one about resilience and hope and a reminder of how much that everyone needs someone. 

Now, even though I've rated this 5 stars and gone on about how much I clearly enjoyed it, there were some things I had a problem with.

The first was that there was far too much emphasis placed on Federation (USA) vs Dimokratia (Russia) and it ended up being a completely unnuanced take that we have seen again and again in media: Russia bad, America good....ish. Certainly better than Russia in any case!! But we will not go into details on why either country is bad or not bad and instead just use this bit of worldbuilding to give the main characters reasons to distrust each other. Sort of. They get over it quite quickly, so the choice is even less valid.

Anyway, part of the Russia-stand-in being unpleasant schtick included a scene in which Ambrose calls Kodiak backward for daring to ask if Ambrose is gay or bisexual because those labels are just so archaic and practically offensive! It's an absolutely nonsense fake-woke take. If you don't want to label yourself, that's fine, but don't put down others for wishing to use them or vilify labels as a whole. They're not only extremely useful, but very important to many people, and it's not progressive to try to get rid of them fullstop. (It is, in fact, kind of stupid.)

Anywayy, these cons didn't detract in my enjoyment of the story too much, as most of the book was just about trying to figure out what the hell was going on and Fake Russia vs Fake US really didn't matter in the grand scheme of the plot. I will say the story got a little less compelling for me as it neared the end, once all of the mystery was gone, but it's still a solid read that I would definitely recommend giving a try.

Oh wait, one more personal con: why the fuck was the main character so horny in a life and death situation? Wild.

Plot Concept: 4/5

Plot Execution: 5/5

Pacing: 4/5

Writing: 5/5

Characters: 4/5

Romance: 4/5

Overall Enjoyability: 4.5/5

The Darkness Outside Us

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