Gretchen Rubin

"Bestselling author Gretchen Rubin (The Happiness Project; Better Than Before) reveals the surprising truth about the four hidden personality types that drive everything we do. Learn how to understand yourself better--and also how to influence others more effectively"--

The Indispensable Personality Profiles that Reveal how to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)

The Four Tendencies

In this groundbreaking analysis of personality type, bestselling author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin reveals the one simple question that will transform what you do at home, at work, and in life. During her multibook investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question "How do I respond to expectations?" we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change. The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you've ever thought: • People can rely on me, but I can't rely on myself. • How can I help someone to follow good advice? • People say I ask too many questions. • How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask—or who keeps telling me what to do? With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. It's far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.

The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)

Farah Aisha Shabrina

there are people who like to separate other people into several categories, there are people who don’t. i think it’s just a matter of preference and only applicable to case-by-case situation. see how many classifications there are in psychology? sure, it helps us understand the human brain easier. but humans are not easy. there are always deviations to the normal or the ‘majority’ of perspectives. and this four tendencies? i don’t see why it should define ourselves while there is still a lot of good definitions if we want to stick ourselves to.

Very insightful information that can be used in daily life. There’s a short quiz inside that readers can take. People can then learn about their type and how to coexist with other types in different aspects of life. The healthcare section was unique to this text. 

Kristen Savage

Sabetha Danes

I love Gretchen Rubins take on task management. The Four Tendencies gives the introduction, break down and management of all 4 tendencies and various of them. It is an eye opening read into why people do what they do, or don't. Like many people I have often wondered by can't I form this habit?! But this book really has given me some tools to combat my non personal habit forming self.

She starts the book off with how she discovered the tendencies, I love this inside look at her back story because I often wonder how people come up with these ideas. Then she walks you through her quiz.

After you discover which tendency you fall into it's hard not to flip to the right chapters to learn all about yourself! (Unless your an Upholder, then you'll have no problem reading from cover to cover like books are meant to be read :P) But she does a wonderfully thorough job of breaking down each tendency with real life stories and experiences.

I would recommend this book to anyone that is having trouble motivating themselves to accomplish tasks, internal or external and people that just wonder why they are so weird. You're not weird I promise, you just need to discover more about yourself.

Ivaylo Durmonski

Pause for a moment and ask yourself: “How do you respond to expectations?”

What’s your initial response when someone – say a friend – asks you to walk his dog?

If you say, “Sorry. I’m busy. I have my own responsibilities” means that you’re an Upholder. You balance outside expectations with your inner desires.

Responding with a question like, “Why should I walk your dog?” makes you a Questioner. A person who wants proper justification for everything.

Picking up the dog and dutifully going around the neighborhood even if your schedule is crowded means that you are an Obliger. Others always take advantage of you.

And finally, if you simply say, “No, thank you. I don’t want to do that.” Doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily rude. It means that you’re a Rebel type and you value your freedom regardless of the situation.

As the insanely long title states – The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too) – there are four personality profiles that determine how we behave.

Gretchen Rubin, apparently a blogger turned into a self-proclaimed expert in human nature, says that we fall in one of the four buckets: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels.

And while we can question the legitimacy of her expertise, the information, and the classification in the book is really intriguing.

Figuring out your own profile, and the profile of the people you regularly communicate with, can help you in a lot of different ways.

Some of these are: Summon motivation when you need to get things done. Understand the real needs of others and what triggers them. Communicate better with yourself and others.

Key takeaway:

Understanding your personality type will unlock important insights. You will finally get what drives you and what can derail you. You will learn what to keep doing and finally realize what to cease. But don’t stop there. Spot what works for the other tendencies and steel qualities that you want/need in your life.

Check the full summary:
https://durmonski.com/book-summaries/...

Judy Hudgins

Casper Lourens

My biggest gripe is that this framework doesn’t seem grounded in any scientific evidence. Leaving the majority of the book with basically a set of anecdotes strung together. I like the idea but it just doesn’t feel credible.

The quiz is inconveniently placed in the second chapter after the first chapter gives an overview, making it easy to game your answers.

Some of the anecdotes feel very unnatural/robotic, in the way people address each other explicitly by their tendency. It just caught me off guard every time it happened.

Chii

I am totally unconvinced by this "theory" (and even more by the way she's so self-assured, claiming that The Four Tendencies is an oh-so-great discovery on human nature and that it is indispensable for your life). I am not saying she didn't put any effort into it. I even relate to her findings because I used to contemplate so hard on personality and try to sort out people into different types that way. But looking back, it's just a subjective idea, maybe fun to discuss over dinner with friends but not enough to be "announced" in a book like that. I rest my case and going back to my psychology textbook.

The Four Tendencies The Indispensable Personality Profiles that Reveal how to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)

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