The Summer I Wasn't Me

Incredible book.. I have to admit, i didn't like any of the characters at first except matthew because of their intternalized homophobia.. But the plot twist added a lot more reassurement to theur life about carolyn & lexi's sexuality. Mr. Martin is a disgusting man, and im sure he will get what he deserves. Im ver happy with how this book turned out, i hope lexi & carolyn got a happy ending

sure it’s a blatant (albeit much darker) rip off of but i’m a cheerleader, but isn’t that the beauty of it?

I really like it a lot... like a lot. I finished the book in like 3 hours and after that ending I kinda just can't stop smiling because the ending is so cute. There are some books where I found the characters super annoying but loved the story but in this book I actually really like the protagonists. I actually kinda sorta fell in love with Carolyn too so there's that. Some parts of the story kinda made me go like "YOOOO WTF LIT" and some parts, esp most of Matthew's dialogue made me laugh. (view spoiler)[When Lexi and Carolyn finally kissed I also couldn't stop smiling like my face actually hurts. (hide spoiler)] So, overall I really liked this book and it has given me a cavity because of its ending.

I wasn't expecting this book to be as dark as it was. Of course, I was expecting some darkness. As a queer person myself, I can't imagine what it would be like to go through one of these camps (which still exist) and come out the same. The psychological aftereffects that Verdi shows is in itself terrifying, but the book just gets darker and darker (with some light in Carolyn and Lexi's relationship). One of my favorite characters is Matthew. Most people seemed to be committed to changing their sexuality, but Matthew was the rebel. Oh, and he liked Broadway. It's a bit stereotypical, but I love Broadway. And I actually liked how Lexi came into it with an open mind, even though she didn't mind being gay in the first place. It just gives even more of a perspective on how horrible these camps were. Another point that was kind of eh was the fact that it was only monosexuality that was featured. Sure, Matthew mentioned the Kinsey scale, but it wasn't put into practice. Bisexuality exists. Otherwise, a really good read. I couldn't put it down.

Why I chose this book: At the beginning of this year I promised myself I would read more LGBT oriented books. I saw this book pop up in several conversations between book bloggers, so my interest was piqued. Furthermore, I already felt for the book, as I know many LGBTQ identifying people who come from religious backgrounds. I received this book for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review. 4 Things You Should Know: 1. Gender roles can sit down and take a number. I won’t lie, this book is heavy. It took me a long time to piece together what exactly I wanted to say because I was speechless after closing the cover. The one thing that stood out to me was the screwed up idea of gender roles in society. Jessica Verdi reflected this mindset and way of thinking through the camp New Horizons. Here, lesbian identifying girls are taught to be “ladies” by taking sewing lessons, learning homemaking skills, and forced to wear feminine skirts and pink sweaters. Likewise, gay identifying boys learn to play sports, fix cars, and other acceptable “masculine” activities. The distorted mindset is extended even further, as Lexi enters the camp for the first time. To reach the first group meeting, she is required to answer a series of questions that reinforces that idea that women exist solely to reproduce and provide for their husbands. While the idea is sickening on the outside, the reader is given the opportunity to understand the thoughts and feelings of Lexi as she endures these lessons. This makes the story heartbreaking on a whole new level as she fights to remain true to herself while trying to change for her mother.

Publicado Originalmente: El Extraño Gato del Cuento Mi nivel de expectación por este libro me sorprendió antes de empezarlo a leer, no solo quería leerlo, necesitaba leerlo. Encontrar libros LGBT es muy complicado y en Young Adult aún más, se “cuida” mucho al adolescente (o jóvenes en general) que no lean este tipo de libro, hasta se vetan, ahora último no mucho, pero si hubo un tiempo dónde libros con protagonistas homosexuales eran un escándalo y eran del diablo. Y como me gusta molestar, decidí leer este libro (?) Ahora que terminé el libro voy a decirles que no entiendo la portada. En serio, sé que es una cosa que no les interesa en lo más mínimo, pero me he quedado mirando la portada un buen rato, luego de terminar el libro, y sigo sin entenderla. Has ganado esta vez, diseñador de portadas, has ganado esta vez. La única referencia que tenía del libro era lo LGBT, suficiente para emocionarme y vomitar arcoíris como cualquier gato que se respete, pero antes de empezar a leerlo hojee muy por encima la sinopsis, y la verdad es que me asusté un poco. ¿Por qué? Bueno, el libro trata sobre un campamento de de-gayifying (no puedo ni pronunciarlo en inglés no me pidan que lo traduzca, pero es algo así como “desgayficar”) y las pocas experiencias que he tenido con este tema han sido bastante complicados de llevar, si han visto Criminal Minds hay un capítulo con estos campamentos, entonces me veía un libro quizá no para todo el mundo. He disfrutado mucho la lectura, los personajes me han encantado, sobre todo Matthew, todos deberíamos tener un Matthew en nuestras vidas, en serio, él se robó mi corazón en todo el libro. La historia de amor es tan bonita, pasan todas las etapas desde el rechazo, la negación y el embelesamiento en el otro de una manera bastante entretenida. Sé que esperan el pero, y aquí viene. Esta es la cosa, no quiero decir que por tener personajes homosexuales el libro deba darte el ultra mega mensaje, no, es solo que hay temas en el transcurso de la historia que me hicieron pensar el “¿qué haría yo si me pasará esto a mí o alguien que conozco?” Es que es fácil como lector o tercero pensar en lo que supuestamente haríamos, sobre como seríamos héroes en nuestra imaginación. Les digo esto porque hubo muchas veces que Lexi me pareció demasiado pasiva sobre cosas que pasaban a su alrededor, quiero creer que yo sería más de ¿armas tomar? No sé si se dice así, pero no encuentro la frase que quiero. Eso fue lo que no me convenció de la historia, me gustan las protagonistas que son decididas, de las que mueren luchando, completamente diferentes a mí, quiero decir. En general, disfruté un montón la lectura de The Summer I Wasn’t Me, ligero, un tanto cliché debo agregar, con un bonito mensaje, no entendí la portada (diseñadores que te hacen pensar ¬¬). Y de verdad, de verdad me gustaría que en algún momento lo publiquen en español, no todos los libros LGBT deben ser los mega dramones. Reseña completa: El Extraño Gato del Cuento

3.5 stars! I’m having so much trouble deciding how I feel about The Summer I Wasn’t Me. At certain points I hated the story and wanted to throw my Kindle at the wall. Other times I was completely invested in the story. It was definitely a rollercoaster ride of a read, in my opinion. Lexi, at the outrageous cost of $9,500 (I know, seriously?!) is spending the summer at a de-gaying camp in hopes of learning to not be gay anymore for her mother. After the loss of her father, then hearing the news her only daughter was gay, Lexi’s mother has taken a turn for the worse. She’s completely out of it most of the time, really suffering with some inner struggles. Lexi hopes that this camp will help her become straight so her mother will no longer suffer because of her. The idea that camps such as New Horizons actually exist in our world is shocking to me. The cult-like nature of the camp had me completely appalled. The counselors and other camp staff were so repulsive they brought out anger in me that I haven’t experienced in quite some time. I have to give credit to Jessica Verdi on her creative writing style. Not many authors can bring out such strong emotions in me. The Summer I Wasn’t Me was overall very raw and emotional. The characters and their struggles broke my heart. I would have liked more backstory on the characters though. A quick introduction upon their arrival at the camp plus a few little snipits here and there is all we’re able to hear of their life before New Horizons, and I would have liked a bit more. I loved how the characters were all over the board. From shy, terrified Daniel, to crazy, over-the-top Matthew. (Of course he was my favorite. :D ) I also liked how Lexi was very level-headed about the whole concept. She had good intentions and really wanted to changed, wavering back and forth between if she felt it was a realistic option or not. She was a great MC. The last 25% of the book was quite difficult for me to stomach. I understand why Jessica Verdi decided to take the story in that direction, it was just a lot. A real lot. I’m happy I read this book. It left an impression on me. The Summer I Wasn’t Me portrayed a realistic teenage issue that many young adults are suffering with in our society today. Jessica Verdi broached a very difficult topic with the sensitivity it required. (Thanks to Sourcebooks Fire and Netgalley for the review copy!) Find this review and others like it at Lost in Literature!