The Ten (Food) Commandments

"'The original Ten Commandments don't offer those of us located in the twenty-first century much guidance when it comes to our relationship with food. And Lord knows we need it. We are crying out for our very own culinary Moses; someone with the scholarship, dignity and teeth to stand in culinary judgement. I know just the man. Oh, come on. Who else? I have a beard flecked with grey, shaggy hair and I look hot in flowing robes. So come with me as I deal once and for all with the question of whether it is okay to covet they neighbour's oxen (it is), whether you should cut off the fat (you shouldn't) and why you should never mistake food for pharmaceuticals which can cure you of all known disease. I will also insist that thou shalt honour the pig. Because everything is improved by the application of a little pig . . .'"