The Vagrant

💀 DNF at 68%. It’s Super Extra Quick Moderately Painful Review Time (SEQMPRT)! Yay and stuff! Why this book could and should have been Slightly Very Cool (SVC™) but proved to be a Somewhat Agonizing Experience (SAE™) instead: 👍 It’s about a mute knight errand type guy, a baby and a goat (which, while not as potentially nefarious as my murderous children, still has an inborn ability for mischief and mayhem. And that’s a scientifically proven fact). 👍 It’s about a world that has been kinda sorta taken over by yummy demons, which is most scrumptious indeed. Because it is a truth universally acknowledged that demons do everything better. 👎 I don’t like post-apocalyptic crap stuff. 👎 I don’t like boring journey-type plots. 👎 The book is a disjointed, confusing mess. I’ve survived The Dragon Never Sleeps twice, so believe me when I tell you I know how gloriously glorious Confusing as Fish Confusion (CaFC™) can be. Here it’s not glorious, it’s revoltingly allergy-inducing. Yeah, so far so good. 👎 Present Tense Narrative of Doom (PTNoD™). Unless you’re my boyfriend Jimmy Stark do NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, talk to me in the present tense. I might slightly unleash my homicidal kids on you if you do. But hey, no pressure and stuff. 👎 It’s Skim Skim Skim Yawn Yawn Yawn Time (S³Y³T™)! Yay! This book is absolutely fascinating! Yay! It's all travel, kill some people, save some people, move along, repeat repeat repeat and stuff! Yay! It makes you feel like you’re reading the same chapter over and over again! Yay! 👎 I didn’t give a flying fish about the Super Extra Vague World (SEVW™) or the Mighty Super Flat Characters (MSFC)! Yay again! All in all, I think you might possibly say I might not have liked this book very much. Maybe. ➽ Nefarious Last Words (NLW™): P.S. I don’t think I’ll be reading the next book in the series. Not sure why. Just a feeling I got. [Pre-review nonsense] Why this was positively fascinating. Full review to come and stuff.

A silent knight, a baby, and a goat embark on a quest. It sounds like the opening line of a joke, but somehow, it really worked. I've been putting this book off for years after seeing reviews about the odd writing style, but I really enjoyed it. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to connect to the Vagrant because he never speaks, but the concise narration was able to characterize the Vagrant's personality without the need for him to express himself with words.