This is Pleasure

I wish I read this with someone else, so I can talk about it and share my thoughts.. it was a quick read but it held an important topic and raised many questions for me..

** spoiler alert ** such a good story. complex and ambiguous. i thought i knew what i wanted to think about this but it makes you consider the blurry lines in friendship. also what’s just a little flirtatious, not appropriate or just plain abuse. what I liked the most is that I understood why margot wanted to excuse him and it made her human; as well as quin, who is written as what he is, a creep.

men are truly embarrassing . good writing, bad message. idk what's the point of this. very insulting to the #metoo movement

I loved Gaitskill’s writing and am excited to read the other titles I have of hers, but this particular book—not for me. This review is partially a review of the idea behind the book more than the book itself, but I think if you’re planning to read this it’s good reasoning to skip. As some have mentioned it felt like trying to create more nuance to a situation than there actually is. The argument of ‘that’s just how it is/the era they come from’ is so dangerous to any situation in my opinion because it is a fail safe halt to conversation about potential progress. In regards to the book itself. Of course, there is validity to the thought that he may not understand why he is problematic and think that the people around him largely enjoy his behavior because of their reactions and capacity to endure, but just because you do not understand why you are problematic doesn’t mean you should continue being so. Many have brought up M’s confusing feelings as evidence of internalized misogyny causing her to be drawn to side with her friend, but I think that’s honestly not even necessary to examine. In my opinion, there is far more nuance to the argument of why some people don’t know how to not want to defend the person they know vs the person the world knows (in any situation. Not just the ones in this story). This book is too short to really truly create the proper dialogue, conversation, and insight around that topic, so for me it was easier to pass over and move on. The really telling dialogues are when Q says the much thrown about line of ‘men like him’ being afraid to be themself and the refusal to apologize for it. If he felt remorse that he had upset these women without realizing it and was now self examining, I could buy into this being a reminder that there can be nuance to any situation. He doesn’t feel remorse or internal confliction over his behavior. Only confusion over why he has to change with a world that is learning to respect others in new ways. I think we all, at the very least, did things when we were children, teens, and young adults that we now feel some sort of shame over feeling was acceptable, so to continue pretending that people of a certain age are incapable of social awareness because of their age is a disservice to the people who do learn to change and does a second disservice to the aggressors by not demanding they grow.

really interesting take on the me too movement

the author did succeed in showcasing the dynamics of the relationship between the accused and those who r close to them and how THEY r also affected by such attributions towards a person so close to them??? the only fault in this story is that it lacked serious character development but we can see from the very start that quinn is the kind of person that may sometimes acknowledges that his actions might've offended someone but even so he keeps on doing it. ps i LOVED margots pov

When you first click on this book, the top reviews have the following ratings : 3, 1 and 5 despite majority of those of us that read the book having the same takeaways but different interpretations of what the author conveyed. I fully went into the book, thinking I would hate it because for some reason, the reviews convinced me that this book sides with the abuser or tries to sympathise with the man, however, from what I understand of the text - very cleverly written by the author with points that either side of the #MeToo Movement could relate to - I think the broader point that stuck with me after the ending was : Why do women seem to comprehend the gravity of the situation more than men? We follow two points of views - Margot and Quinn - who established an unlikely friendship about twenty years ago and this story explores the aftermath of accusations piling up against Quin ultimately losing his job while Margot continues to befriend him but is forced to question his seemingly innocent actions. Quinn was highly unlikable, which is quite a feat to achieve in just about 80 pages, but somehow the author managed to paint him in the worst light ever. He thinks of himself as a practical jester, constantly flirting with women and texting them in times of crisis, however, time and time again, he forgets to respect boundaries, aggravating those around him only adding to their discomfiture. Did he have sex with them? Not quite - however, does it absolve him of passes made to women either younger than him or those working under him? No. The unequal power dynamic that settles in when someone who contributes to your professional career - only making you walk on eggshells when around them - or someone who can groom you due to the vast age difference between the two makes all the friendships he pursues dangerous. He has twisted views of the world and while he is painted to be a naive person, I don't think that's quite it. Time and time again, he downplays situations calling the paddle in his office a butter knife, taking women shopping and crossing boundaries with no consent just because he felt it was "sacred" and overall making the women around him uncomfortable. At one point, he refers to sexual abuse incurred by a character as something she did to have comfort the abuser. Margot was the worst though. I understand that she feels Quinn has saved her life but to what extent do you owe your life to someone that you continue to forgive their missteps at each point? She reeks of preformative activism, writing a book that "empowers" women all the while taking delight in saying sexist things to those closest to her. When people bring up the unequal power dynamic, she refers to those women who couldn't say no as infantilized. At one point, she decides women are horses who must be led and want to be led but only in a way that dignifies them. However, she conveniently views each woman through the lenses of her own experiences, having been able to say No to Quinn when he tried to inappropriately touch her, she believes that each women who accuses him was wrong to not say No or be able to stand their ground. Unable to sympathise with the variety of situations of the victims, she continues to blame them - oh but you can't call the women witches, according to Margot, although calling them bitches is a-okay. At the end, she wonders whether Quinn should have lost his job and his honour as a human just because of this? Almost as if Quinn didn't breach the honour of his victims but okay. She thinks he should have been a laughing spectacle but not have his job ruined which was just an incredibly unsettling viewpoint to read about

i definitely do not understand it. i feel like the books that i give two stars are always something i don’t understand… i guess i wanted a bit more out of it. this book seemed to end rather abruptly, when i wanted more information. i didn’t hate it, but i didn’t necessarily like it. it’s not a typical read for me, but it did make me think. are women really like horses that want to be lead, but respected? did quinn really deserve his career being destroyed?

“it seems strange to me when i look back on it now. because i don’t want to laugh. i feel pain. real heart pain. subtle. but real”. this book displayed an interesting take on the me too movement, and delve into a perspective i haven’t seen brought to the forefront. what is it like to be in association with someone who is under fire for monstrous and uncomfortable acts? this read did exactly what it needed to, keeping me gripped and uncomfortable the entire time. i remained intrigued with margot as i kept a hot head for both her and quin, this book evokes more than being uncomfortable. it will make you angry.

A new take on the me too movement that I hadn’t expected. The development of a woman caught between her friendship with a man and the accusations against him. A good read, I think that I will return to it again. Finished in an hour

Zamišljam da je Meri Gejtskil ovu knjigu napisala tako što je jedan dan ustala i samo rešila da će da nam lupi 2-3 šamara ovako indirektno i na daljinu.

4.5