Jessica Verdi

Seventeen-year-old Ryden's life was changed forever when his girlfriend discovered she was pregnant and stopped chemotherapy, and now, raising Hope with his mother's help and longing for the father he never knew, he meets smart and sexy Jodi and gains a new perspective.

What You Left Behind

Sven Test

This review was published on 12.7.15 on Latte Nights Reviews.

Ryden blames himself for Meg’s pregnancy because she refused treatment once she found out she was carrying a child which lead to her death. Ryden loved to party but when he met Meg, everything changed. Even bigger changes happened when Meg dies and he has to take care of his daughter, which is the last thing he wants to do. Now Ryden is dealing with school, grief, his daughter who apparently doesn’t like him, playing football and getting scholarship to UCLA. His priority and sole focus at the moment is the scholarship.

This is the much more rare “oops, I killed the love of my life by getting her pregnant in high school and ruined my life and the lives of all her family and friends in the process” situation.

At first, it was difficult for me to like Ryden. He had his priorities all screwed up and didn’t really care enough for his daughter, having his mom and his friend take care of her. It took me a while to warm up to him. He finally kind of organized his thoughts and his priorities and ultimately mature. This is a new take on teens with kids. We normally see/read about single girls with a child but what is rarely mentioned is a single dad in his teen years with a child. I think this book showed a lot of aspects that can go in a single teen’s dad life and I’m glad the author portrayed those quite well in this story.

Illeana

I did not like Ryden. At all. Even after he got his stuff together. Being a mother, a young one too, I just don't understand how you don't automatically put your child first. There are things I want to do. I want to go back to school(college), but I don't trust the government daycares here so I will not be sending my son to one. And I don't think that he should have sent his daughter to one either. 

I also don't think he should have hid the fact he had a daughter from Joni. And he honestly expected that to go over well when she eventually found it. 

Just a lot of things about him I did not like. And same with Meg. She may have been dead the whole book. But she #1, shouldn't have lied to him about the pregnancy. #2, SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD HIM THROUGH A FREAKING JOURNAL. I mean come on. She is so selfish. And sure. I should feel bad because she died from cancer that she wasn't going to live through anyways. Oh well. No. 

The only person I did like in this book was freaking Ryden's mom. She told him things straight. She was a great grandmother. And a great person. 

I did like the writing, how sometimes when Ryden was reading the journals it would "flashback" to the part in his life that it was happening. I did like, even though I hated him, how real Ryden's thoughts were.

I am interested in reading more from this author. 

To read more reviews like this go to: notyourmommasbookreviews.wordpress.com

Kaley Catron

I actually quite liked this book. I really wanted to read a light romance book that gave me that wishful summer feeling but this book gave me a different kind of feeling. A feeling I didn't know I wanted from a book until I got it. There were times when I was not happy with the turn of events but that happens in every book and then it righted itself. I liked how Ryden finally realized he had what he wanted waiting for him, and I really liked how the story was written. It just had such a good vibe to it. I also really liked the idea of the notebooks. Although Meg did things that were annoying she still had good intentions and I liked that.

Lisa ✩ @lifeinlit

I have this weakness when it comes to stories involving teen pregnancy and/or teen parents. I’m not sure what it is, since I was never a teen parent myself, but I’m very drawn to them. When I saw this description, I knew this was a book I had to read. A teenage single father? AND written by Jessica Verdi?! YES!!

Ryden is a hot mess. His girlfriend, Meg, recently died, leaving him to raise their daughter alone. With the help of his mother, Ryden is a single father just trying to make sense of life. He’s in high school, a star soccer player, and trying to figure out how, as a single father, he will be able to follow his dream of going to a prestigious school on a full soccer scholarship. He’s filled with so much anger over how Meg’s life ended. She had cancer and was undergoing chemo until she found out she was pregnant, and unilaterally decided to stop the treatment immediately, knowing this would likely kill her. Ryden, is in doom and gloom state, stumbles across a journal Meg left behind and realizes that there may be others. He sets out to find any remaining journals in hopes that somehow this will help him decide how exactly to be a better dad, to be a parent his daughter deserves, one that would have made Meg proud.

“Why does everything have to suck so bad? Even when you think it’s getting better, it’s not. Life’s building up suckiness, getting ready to hit you again, at the worst possible moment.”

I absolutely loved reading a story with a male MC. And to make it even better… a teenage single parent! I’ve never read a book like this before. It was so unique, extremely eye-opening and outright heart-breaking at times. Such a wonderfully strong story that will have your feels running the gamut from sadness, to hopeful, to outright furious. Ryden is the type of character that is easily hated on. He’s not getting any awards for Father of the Year, that’s for sure. But as a teenager who was thrown into this position, it’s also easy to feel for him and route for him to straighten out his life and learn how to grow into the person and father he should be.

“Finding someone you can really connect with is like winning the fucking lottery – it happens basically never, but if it does, you really shouldn’t blow it.”

Ryden’s friend, Joni, a free-spirit, always smiling, surprise to enter Ryden’s life. They worked at a store together, and Ryden instantly was drawn to Joni’s happiness and silliness that kept him smiling… something he hadn’t done in a long time. They had an instant connection. Since Ryden hadn’t moved on yet after losing Meg, they decide to keep their friendship strictly that. Nothing more. Having a friend like Joni was exactly what Ryden needed in his life. But… he was also keeping from her anything having to do with Meg or his daughter. Ryden’s completely dependent on Joni’s friendship to keep his optimism intact and on the right track… but how long will a friendship based on lies really last?

I loved Ryden, but I also loved the accompanying characters. I loved Joni instantly. Her free-spirit happy attitude was contagious. So creative, artistic, and making the best of life. Ryden’s mother was also very involved in this story. And I liked that she didn’t take over the raising of her granddaughter, but instead was patient and helped Ryden to do it on his own, refusing to enable him to lean too much on her. Let’s hear it for tough love!

I can see why some people may have a problem with this story. It’s not all fluffy and glitter like a lot of contemporary YA books. It’s raw, it’s emotional, and even disturbing at times. Ryden made a lot of bad decisions and even treated his daughter rather badly at times. He was lost and utterly clueless on how to be a good father. But the bigger picture isn’t just his immediate actions, which in my opinion are extremely realistic, but rather how he learned and changed and became a better person. This is a coming-of-age story filled with angst, heartbreak, and, eventually, hopefulness. I totally fell in love with Ryden and his story, despite my sobbing and outrage at times. Another strong book from Jessica Verdi that won’t want to be missed!

(Thanks to Sourcebooks for the review copy!)

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